who knows the facts on this matter........

[karimcharleen 0]

as for him getting a 2nd wife i have not thought of that

Well, you need to think about it and you need to decide if that's something you can accept, if it should happen. And NO he does not need to ask permission to take another because it is his right to have as many as four wives.

plus in usa he only aloud 1 wife by law.

Technically, that's true. However, how many multiple-wife Mormon wives are actually prosecuted? Few, if any. And what has been prosecuted has been connected to a wife who was underage. There are many, many multiple wife, religiously sanctioned, marriages in the United States.

Besides, what's to say he won't go back home and marry another? It's legal there, isn't it?

To the bolded...she can add it to the marriage contract that she will not accept him having another wife. In Egypt it's acceptable.

and this is what i'll do too

[Elghazi2008 4]

ok we had a engagement ceremony back in october 2008, i was told if we did this then we would be looked at as being married and able to stay in same hotel room like if wwe went to other city

Not at all true.

[Got Charmed 0]

It is not reconized by the US Embassy so you might want to keep that under wraps, you both will have to get your marriage registered at each others embassy when it is legal, i know what your talking about because alot of people do it that way here in Kuwait just to avoid being caught with the opposite sex in your place, its legal only in that country. Go ahead and have the civil marriage and start your process.

i have a question. i'm a bit confused with this. if we get married at the home by imam, (just a islamic wedding) one that doesn't get filed at the consulate. would it wreck our k-1? i am under the impression that an islamic marriage is not a legal marriage in the usa. i've heard different things on this, so i was wondering if anyone had the facts on this.

[Ihavequestions 419]

as for him getting a 2nd wife i have not thought of that

Well, you need to think about it and you need to decide if that's something you can accept, if it should happen. And NO he does not need to ask permission to take another because it is his right to have as many as four wives.

plus in usa he only aloud 1 wife by law.

Technically, that's true. However, how many multiple-wife Mormon wives are actually prosecuted? Few, if any. And what has been prosecuted has been connected to a wife who was underage. There are many, many multiple wife, religiously sanctioned, marriages in the United States.

Besides, what's to say he won't go back home and marry another? It's legal there, isn't it?

To the bolded...she can add it to the marriage contract that she will not accept him having another wife. In Egypt it's acceptable.

It's not only acceptable, but it's the law that a man cannot take another wife without consent. However, there's a catch or two. The first/second/third wife/wives have to know he's taken another within a year after it's happened and there's not guarantee they'll ever know. Men sneak wives here all the time - first, second, whatever, they sneak them. And I'm NOT talking about urfi/orfi wives, either. Then, if she does find out in time, it gives her reason to file a divorce proceeding, which does not mean a divorce will be granted. She has to prove it does her some kind of harm.

The second part of this is putting it into the marriage contract does not prevent him from taking other wives. All it does is make her wishes known from the beginning. That doesn't mean he can't or won't do it and it doesn't mean a court will let her out of a marriage.

/BW, I always enjoy your posts. Whether I agree with them or not (and in this case I do), I enjoy them.

[sara..... 371]

as for him getting a 2nd wife i have not thought of that

Well, you need to think about it and you need to decide if that's something you can accept, if it should happen. And NO he does not need to ask permission to take another because it is his right to have as many as four wives.

plus in usa he only aloud 1 wife by law.

Technically, that's true. However, how many multiple-wife Mormon wives are actually prosecuted? Few, if any. And what has been prosecuted has been connected to a wife who was underage. There are many, many multiple wife, religiously sanctioned, marriages in the United States.

Besides, what's to say he won't go back home and marry another? It's legal there, isn't it?

To the bolded...she can add it to the marriage contract that she will not accept him having another wife. In Egypt it's acceptable.

It's not only acceptable, but it's the law that a man cannot take another wife without consent. However, there's a catch or two. The first/second/third wife/wives have to know he's taken another within a year after it's happened and there's not guarantee they'll ever know. Men sneak wives here all the time - first, second, whatever, they sneak them. And I'm NOT talking about urfi/orfi wives, either. Then, if she does find out in time, it gives her reason to file a divorce proceeding, which does not mean a divorce will be granted. She has to prove it does her some kind of harm.

The second part of this is putting it into the marriage contract does not prevent him from taking other wives. All it does is make her wishes known from the beginning. That doesn't mean he can't or won't do it and it doesn't mean a court will let her out of a marriage.

/BW, I always enjoy your posts. Whether I agree with them or not (and in this case I do), I enjoy them.

to my knowledge if she puts into the contract she does not agree with him taken another wife at any time and adds that if he does he gives permission for her to divorce him then it is a different matter all together.

sara

[bhajishah 4]

Our Islamic marriage was in Korea yrs ago 2002, was confused on this 2, had to file for fiancee visa as Korea is not a muslim country . 2009 when i showed pk consulate here to get my visa for there , they wanted to see either this Nikkah and or marriage cert which was @ the court house here. very confusing subject. goes both ways eh, Must boil down to where marriage occured and if it was registered official marriage with local govt. (for immigration purposes)

USCIS just wants the money, proof that its not fraud to get here for devious purposes (actual legit relationship). Just provide what the list says for the visa you apply for.

[Nothing1234 2]

as for him getting a 2nd wife i have not thought of that

Well, you need to think about it and you need to decide if that's something you can accept, if it should happen. And NO he does not need to ask permission to take another because it is his right to have as many as four wives.

plus in usa he only aloud 1 wife by law.

Technically, that's true. However, how many multiple-wife Mormon wives are actually prosecuted? Few, if any. And what has been prosecuted has been connected to a wife who was underage. There are many, many multiple wife, religiously sanctioned, marriages in the United States.

Besides, what's to say he won't go back home and marry another? It's legal there, isn't it?

To the bolded...she can add it to the marriage contract that she will not accept him having another wife. In Egypt it's acceptable.

I would just tell him good luck...I'm a handful...good luck handling another ME! Besides, if I'm the first wife...can I make the new wife clean my home for me, babysit and cook for us? I think I'd like another wife around...

[Sofiyya 1,687]

as for him getting a 2nd wife i have not thought of that

Well, you need to think about it and you need to decide if that's something you can accept, if it should happen. And NO he does not need to ask permission to take another because it is his right to have as many as four wives.

plus in usa he only aloud 1 wife by law.

Technically, that's true. However, how many multiple-wife Mormon wives are actually prosecuted? Few, if any. And what has been prosecuted has been connected to a wife who was underage. There are many, many multiple wife, religiously sanctioned, marriages in the United States.

Besides, what's to say he won't go back home and marry another? It's legal there, isn't it?

To the bolded...she can add it to the marriage contract that she will not accept him having another wife. In Egypt it's acceptable.

It's not only acceptable, but it's the law that a man cannot take another wife without consent. However, there's a catch or two. The first/second/third wife/wives have to know he's taken another within a year after it's happened and there's not guarantee they'll ever know. Men sneak wives here all the time - first, second, whatever, they sneak them. And I'm NOT talking about urfi/orfi wives, either. Then, if she does find out in time, it gives her reason to file a divorce proceeding, which does not mean a divorce will be granted. She has to prove it does her some kind of harm.

The second part of this is putting it into the marriage contract does not prevent him from taking other wives. All it does is make her wishes known from the beginning. That doesn't mean he can't or won't do it and it doesn't mean a court will let her out of a marriage.

/BW, I always enjoy your posts. Whether I agree with them or not (and in this case I do), I enjoy them.

What country are you referring to where this is happening?

[bhajishah 4]

Reality orientation doesnt work, just go to thier happy place. Psych 101

[HLM 1]

Ihavequestions- hehe thank you for the compliment; You're right it still does happen. You know I believe if I trusted my man enough to marry him I should trust him enough that he wouldn't do something like that...so to the OP; if you think he's that type or not trust worthy enough on this issue then I think you should wait.

Nawal- that's what I think too LOL seriously one marriage is such hard work I can't imagine anyone thinking "oh; let me get in deeper $%^&* while I can!!" LOL

Barza Woman- We were talking about Egypt.

[Ihavequestions 419]

It's not only acceptable, but it's the law that a man cannot take another wife without consent. However, there's a catch or two. The first/second/third wife/wives have to know he's taken another within a year after it's happened and there's not guarantee they'll ever know. Men sneak wives here all the time - first, second, whatever, they sneak them. And I'm NOT talking about urfi/orfi wives, either. Then, if she does find out in time, it gives her reason to file a divorce proceeding, which does not mean a divorce will be granted. She has to prove it does her some kind of harm.

The second part of this is putting it into the marriage contract does not prevent him from taking other wives. All it does is make her wishes known from the beginning. That doesn't mean he can't or won't do it and it doesn't mean a court will let her out of a marriage.

/BW, I always enjoy your posts. Whether I agree with them or not (and in this case I do), I enjoy them.

What country are you referring to where this is happening?

I'm talking about here, in Egypt..

"The girls" and I were talking about secret, multiple wife marriages here today. They ("the girls") all admitted they don't know if their husbands have more than one wife. One, who's husband works out of town, although in Egypt, and comes home twice a month for two days, suspects he has another who he keeps in the other city with him, but she doesn't know for sure. I asked them how, exactly, would they find out. They said the only way they would know is if someone saw their husband with the other wife and told her or if he gets her pregnant then, for some reason, he's required to tell. Of course if the husband has been in this other marriage for more than a year there is no dispute and the previous wife/wives have to accept what he's done; they don't have a claim for a divorce because of it because the time limitation has been exceeded.

It is not unusual to leave a marriage - a perfectly legitimate, party in front of the friends and family marriage - off of the official record books. Many marriages are not registered. It's illegal but, well, this is Egypt and enforcing of laws is not one of its strengths and "baksheesh" (pay-offs) are what really makes the machine run anyway. Further, there is no "investigation" to assure there aren't prior, current wives when a couple get married. I know in my own case the woman at the Ministry of Justice took my husband's word for it that he'd never been married before.

Finally, according to "the girls," if/when a husband takes another wife it's quite possible the previous wife/wives "would never know." I suppose they would only find out the hard way, which is when the husband dies and all of the heirs come forward for their inheritance and there are more children than they knew about. Other than that, how would a person know?

[MrsAmera 41]

Very interesting about the multiple wife issue in Egypt. The law in Morocco (so far as I've studied) now requires that if a man wants to take a second wife, he a) has to have permission from the first wife and B) must go before a judge to argue that he has the financial ability to take care of both wives equitably. In today's world I think registered 2nd or 3rd wives are rare. Even my husbands' father who had two wives was not so common. Implementing these rules in rural regions are much more difficult than in more urban centers, however in urban areas it seems this practice is not very common while in rural areas more common.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Very interesting about the multiple wife issue in Egypt. The law in Morocco (so far as I've studied) now requires that if a man wants to take a second wife, he a) has to have permission from the first wife and B) must go before a judge to argue that he has the financial ability to take care of both wives equitably. In today's world I think registered 2nd or 3rd wives are rare. Even my husbands' father who had two wives was not so common. Implementing these rules in rural regions are much more difficult than in more urban centers, however in urban areas it seems this practice is not very common while in rural areas more common.

I have a close Moroccan relative who has a wife in Morocco and one in France. He didn't go before a judge nor get permission from his first wife (who was against the arrangment) to marry the second. Instead, he tried to curcumvent the system by "paper marrying" the French woman in Rabat, then trying to register it, hoping no one would notice he was aready married. Silly man.

Morocco jailed him for the offense, so, he could not get permission to marry her legally. France had already denied him a visa because he was married, so his gf couldn't sponsor him there as a fiance. Undeterred, she used family connections to go around the French system, bribed authorities in France to get a visa for him, then they married there. Recently, he returned to Morocco to visit family, then, went back to France like nothing happened. I just shake my head at all this. I doubt his French marriage would hold up under scrutiny, considerng all the violations involved, but as long as he can travel back and forth, he's got two wives.

[MrsAmera 41]

That sounds like a headache and a half. I can't imagine why I would help my husband out with having two wives but I guess for some women it's not an issue.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

That sounds like a headache and a half. I can't imagine why I would help my husband out with having two wives but I guess for some women it's not an issue.

Our entire family doesn't get her (or him), not even the males. We never liked his first wife (actually his second, after divorcing the very first to marry her), but they have young children that he also left behind. So, any regard we had for the French woman vanished after we told her he was married and she continued with him anyway. He's always been a very "colorful" and eccentric character, the black sheep of the family, but this was over the top, even for him