Please Help What Can I do

[iLoveAPolishGirl 0]

... I know she feel concerned because of me not paying on time.

You are not paying WHAT on time TO WHOM and for what REASON?

If you are not paying HER on time for something, then it sounds like she is scamming you.

If you were asking her for money, then, as said previously, she may believe you are scamming her.

Most likely, if the USCIS learns of any regular payments from one to the other of you two, and you cannot prove a reasonable, plausible (non-visa related) explanation, they would likely red flag this petition and you would probably have no chance of approval. Indeed, you might be permanently barred from ever entering the country!

dvc

[DGAB2008 3]

Like everyone else, I'm trying to figure out your post. Sounds to me like you've asked your fiance for money several times and promised to pay her back, but to date have not reimbursed her. Here's the deal. We understand that opportunities in Nigeria are not what they are here, and we genuinely empathize with your situation. However, I only imagine that your fiance has had to bear all of the financial responsibility of your relationship (as most Petitioners with fiance's from Nigeria have). Your fiance is making that sacrifice because she sees something in you that makes her feel like you will be a wonderful life-long partner - someone she can feel safe and secure with. She's sacrificing for you now because she believes you are going to be the man she envisions for the rest of your lives together. She's sacrificing because she believes the type of love you two share doesn't happen every day and she's willing to invest in it.

But you need to understand how much of a sacrifice this is for her. Not only is the process emotionally draining, but it takes a lot of time and effort, and a lot of money to keep this type of relationship going. Most of us on here are not rich. Most of us live comfortably but don't have tens of thousands of dollars just lying around waiting to give away. I only imagine that she paid all costs to visit you in Nigeria and to apply for the K1 and many other things that involves money.

It sounds like you promised to repay her and you didn't. Although everything is not always equal in relationships, she wants you to prove that you are going to be a man who looks out for her interest, protect her and make sure she's okay. Loaning money to you may have placed her in a terrible financial predicament of her own and she doesn't want to hear your sob story. Be a man and do whatever it takes to prove you are honorable and dependable.

She's probably thinking about the kind of husband you may be once you arrive in the U.S. and if you're going to be a man of your word, if you're going to work hard on behalf of your family, or if she will be able to sustain her lifestyle if you don't live up to your word, and whether all of this is worth it for her.

I say do WHATEVER it takes to pay her back so she sees what kind of man you are. Then respect her and trust in the love that you know exists between you and back off for a minute. Personally, I don't believe this is just an issue of money. Women don't walk away from love for no reason. Particularly those that have invested so much already. I think she's seeing some actions on your part, or character traits that concern her. So if you love her, be an honorable person (only you know what that means in your relationship). If you remain the decent man that she fell in love with, she will continue loving you and sacrificing for you both to be together.

Sorry for the long reply, particularly if I completely misunderstood what you were trying to say (laugh).

Dionne

[Old Dominion 26]

As others have said, there is nothing you can do. Something between you, regarding money, has frightened her off. Unfortunately, in the internet dating world, being a Nigerian raises red flags to begin with, especially about money.

[Carol and Bruno 0]

It definitely sounds like his employer is not paying him on time. My husband had the same issue in Brazil. We lived there together so I saw it first hand. I noticed that there were certain employers in Brazil on the island where we lived who just did not pay their employees on schedule. When you're paid monthly, it makes all the difference when you're not getting paid on time. What this particular employer would do is give out partial payments when the employee began to complain that they needed money to pay their rent and utilities. In fact, this very employer was taken to court by the owner of the building she was leasing because she wasn't making her lease payments and hadn't paid for over a year. To this day she is still in that same building and probably still not paying. Several of her employees also took her to court and won so she was forced to pay them.

I completely understand your situation, however, it's very common in your country that employers do not pay and you should have by now become accustomed to it. If you did not have your fiance who happens to be an American, how would you be solving your money situation? How were you handling it before you met your fiance? Americans are very skeptical when someone from third world countries ask for money. Some of us tend to believe that we are being scammed and unfortunately, many of us are being scammed.

Living in Brazil, I learned that when you live in such poverty, for many of them they have to do what's necessary to get money. I was propositioned several times to marry so that they can come to America.

Many citizens of third world countries believe America is where the money is and will do and say whatever is necessary to obtain a better life for themselves. I've met so many opportunists in Brazil that I became very skeptical of anyone who wanted to be my friend. However, on the flip side of that, I also met many who were not opportunists. My impression when I left Brazil is that poverty is a great motivator.

A good friend of mine was chatting online with a guy from an African country. Within a couple of weeks or so he was telling her how much he loved her and wanted to get married and go to America to be with her. She ended that relationship immediately.

Sounds like your fiance is playing it safe and and has decided to end the relationship before she regrets it later. It's her choice. You know her better than we do so if you think you have a chance to salvage the relationship, I would suggests as others have to not ask for any money and take care of your situation as you have been prior to meeting her.

[Niel&Femi 0]

In Nigeria situations like this are very rampant, one can work for a business solely owned by one person and don't get paid at the end of the month. They do not pay biweekly but monthly so some businesses due to not making enough money to pay their staffs do owe their staff salaries with the understanding that they will pay as soon as business picks up again.

I think his situation maybe when narrating his experience to his fiancee she may have helped out a few times and when his demands got excessive because believe me it does get excessive she might feel she is being taken for a ride by him.

Whatever the situation is, i hope they can work it out and if not it's better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. All the best.

I have never asked her for any money she knew this, even when she came to Nigeria i took care of her very well make sure she feel at home.

[Niel&Femi 0]

Like everyone else, I'm trying to figure out your post. Sounds to me like you've asked your fiance for money several times and promised to pay her back, but to date have not reimbursed her. Here's the deal. We understand that opportunities in Nigeria are not what they are here, and we genuinely empathize with your situation. However, I only imagine that your fiance has had to bear all of the financial responsibility of your relationship (as most Petitioners with fiance's from Nigeria have). Your fiance is making that sacrifice because she sees something in you that makes her feel like you will be a wonderful life-long partner - someone she can feel safe and secure with. She's sacrificing for you now because she believes you are going to be the man she envisions for the rest of your lives together. She's sacrificing because she believes the type of love you two share doesn't happen every day and she's willing to invest in it.

But you need to understand how much of a sacrifice this is for her. Not only is the process emotionally draining, but it takes a lot of time and effort, and a lot of money to keep this type of relationship going. Most of us on here are not rich. Most of us live comfortably but don't have tens of thousands of dollars just lying around waiting to give away. I only imagine that she paid all costs to visit you in Nigeria and to apply for the K1 and many other things that involves money.

It sounds like you promised to repay her and you didn't. Although everything is not always equal in relationships, she wants you to prove that you are going to be a man who looks out for her interest, protect her and make sure she's okay. Loaning money to you may have placed her in a terrible financial predicament of her own and she doesn't want to hear your sob story. Be a man and do whatever it takes to prove you are honorable and dependable.

She's probably thinking about the kind of husband you may be once you arrive in the U.S. and if you're going to be a man of your word, if you're going to work hard on behalf of your family, or if she will be able to sustain her lifestyle if you don't live up to your word, and whether all of this is worth it for her.

I say do WHATEVER it takes to pay her back so she sees what kind of man you are. Then respect her and trust in the love that you know exists between you and back off for a minute. Personally, I don't believe this is just an issue of money. Women don't walk away from love for no reason. Particularly those that have invested so much already. I think she's seeing some actions on your part, or character traits that concern her. So if you love her, be an honorable person (only you know what that means in your relationship). If you remain the decent man that she fell in love with, she will continue loving you and sacrificing for you both to be together.

Sorry for the long reply, particularly if I completely misunderstood what you were trying to say (laugh).

Dionne

thanks for your insight but the true of the matter is that "I have NEVER asked her for money" NEVER i mean NEVER. for our 3 years friendship, 1 year relationship i have NEVER asked her for any money that is the true and she know this.

i know Nigeria people has been tagged for fruads but i am 1 person out of 140 million people who has decided to make different in my life, for the fact that i working where i am working and i did not get paid on time does not make me to now turn to beggar on the internet. i have my integrity to protect for i have my name to protect too for i know this "a good name is better than silver or gold".

well thanks alll for your insight

[Niel&Femi 0]

What do you mean by "not paying on time" - what are you paying?

Did she pull the K-1?

Getting paid on time is a fairly common problem in Nigeria... not sure how that's connected to the relationship though..

Sounds like He didn't get paid on time and he asked her for some financial help. She must not have liked that.

To the OP. Sorry your relationship is having a difficult time. Unfortunately but understandably many Americans see Nigeria as a whole as a high risk country so any attempt to ask for financial help will not be received well by many people simply because there are so many Nigerian scams here in the US.

I'm sure you love her with all of your heart and marriage should be team work to some extent. But it is probably better that you do your best to not ask her for any financial help even when you do not get paid on time.

It's a good peek into the type of future you will have together, though.

Best wishes, if she doesn't come around, I hope you find a woman who will love you equally as much as you love her.

yeah - that is what I am thinking - but wanted the OP to clarify.

well i know many people will think this way... she know this by her own that i have NEVER asked her for any money, even when she was here in Nigeria i took care of her, even if she want to make this decision, she should have then, but just last April, that she took the decision and she came to Nigeria in Novermber last year.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

what kind of job is this? how can that company not pay you on time?? maybe you need to look for a better company to work for, most company do pay on time, if not then there will be alot of pissed off people.....

Maybe China is different HelloWorld, but believe me this is common all over the world outside of North America, Austrailia and Western Europe. I have 5 what I would refer to as "very good friends" in Ukraine. None are less than 3 months behind in pay right now. One has not been paid since November last year and they work every day because there ARE no other jobs and they can only hope things will get batter and they will get "caught up" like has happened many times before. They get, basically "IOUs" for there work. The same is happening in Russia, all over eastern Europe.

[BokGao 0]

I take it you weren't successful in winning her back and never heard from her again? I'm sorry this happened. This whole process can really test peoples emotions. Best of luck to you.

[Nlove 0]

I couldn't have said it any better

Like everyone else, I'm trying to figure out your post. Sounds to me like you've asked your fiance for money several times and promised to pay her back, but to date have not reimbursed her. Here's the deal. We understand that opportunities in Nigeria are not what they are here, and we genuinely empathize with your situation. However, I only imagine that your fiance has had to bear all of the financial responsibility of your relationship (as most Petitioners with fiance's from Nigeria have). Your fiance is making that sacrifice because she sees something in you that makes her feel like you will be a wonderful life-long partner - someone she can feel safe and secure with. She's sacrificing for you now because she believes you are going to be the man she envisions for the rest of your lives together. She's sacrificing because she believes the type of love you two share doesn't happen every day and she's willing to invest in it.

But you need to understand how much of a sacrifice this is for her. Not only is the process emotionally draining, but it takes a lot of time and effort, and a lot of money to keep this type of relationship going. Most of us on here are not rich. Most of us live comfortably but don't have tens of thousands of dollars just lying around waiting to give away. I only imagine that she paid all costs to visit you in Nigeria and to apply for the K1 and many other things that involves money.

It sounds like you promised to repay her and you didn't. Although everything is not always equal in relationships, she wants you to prove that you are going to be a man who looks out for her interest, protect her and make sure she's okay. Loaning money to you may have placed her in a terrible financial predicament of her own and she doesn't want to hear your sob story. Be a man and do whatever it takes to prove you are honorable and dependable.

She's probably thinking about the kind of husband you may be once you arrive in the U.S. and if you're going to be a man of your word, if you're going to work hard on behalf of your family, or if she will be able to sustain her lifestyle if you don't live up to your word, and whether all of this is worth it for her.

I say do WHATEVER it takes to pay her back so she sees what kind of man you are. Then respect her and trust in the love that you know exists between you and back off for a minute. Personally, I don't believe this is just an issue of money. Women don't walk away from love for no reason. Particularly those that have invested so much already. I think she's seeing some actions on your part, or character traits that concern her. So if you love her, be an honorable person (only you know what that means in your relationship). If you remain the decent man that she fell in love with, she will continue loving you and sacrificing for you both to be together.

Sorry for the long reply, particularly if I completely misunderstood what you were trying to say (laugh).

Dionne