Future Wife on Food stamps. Would she lose it?

[KarenCee 3]

She needs to get a job and stop having taxpayers support her.

SPOT ON Im sick of paying for free loaders!

Let me tell you both something! I was NOT (and never have been) a freeloader when I took public assistance for food. I was a single mother at one time and I was working a job that barely paid the bills. My ex went 13 months without paying child support that was very much needed. My daughter has special needs and feeding her was my top priority. I had to pay all the normal bills that two income households pay as well as making sure my daughter's needs were taken care of. How can either of you sit in judgment of moms who are in the situation that I was once in???? It is people with the shallow holier than thou mentality of yours that makes it so f'ing hard for the rest of us to hold our heads up high even though getting help in a time of need. Geezus...that's what those programs are for and yes I know that some people misuse them. Neither of you know this woman's situation so you have no basis whatsoever to judge her.

Just remember....Karma can really be a biotch!

Edited May 8, 2009 by KarenCee

[toma1 10]

HELLO!!!

This OP didn't even ask an immigration related question. Go back and read it.

I think he may have just stumbled on this forum looking for an answer to the original (non-immigration related) question.

[WhidbeyGirl 1]

I'd much rather pay for someone to buy food for their kids than pay a zillion dollars a minute to send 10,000 high school drop-outs to go torture and kill Iraqis, but I'm not going to jump down someone's throat the next time someone asks a question about how getting shipped out will mess up their visa status. It shouldn't be any more socially acceptable to jump down the throat of someone who is considering getting married to someone on food stamps.

Also, I always get a good laugh out of people who complain about the inefficiency of Social Security. The SSA mails out tens of millions of checks to people across the entire country and it actually manages to get them there in the right amount on exactly the right day. If that's the best example of inefficiency you can think of, that you're living a pretty good life.

Get your facts straight Mike B. THERE AREN'T HIGH SCHOOL DROP OUTS in the military, the military has MUCH higher standards now. They no longer accept a GED either - I know because my son has a GED and up until yesterday he was going into the Army - then they changed their rules.

[Mike B. 231]

The best and the brightest:

http://www.boston.com/news/nation/washingt...it_25_year_low/

I admit that I don't know a lot about this as I've never considered living on the dole (i.e. joining the military, and yes, that is living on the dole as much as being a WPA employee in the 30s was), but I think you might be technically correct in that the military asks you either promise that you will at some point finish your high school education or, in the case of violent drug addicts, at least apply for a waiver. In any event, I have absolutely zero desire to fund any of it with even a penny of my hard-earned money that I actually have to go out and make. I don't mind putting a couple of cents a year towards programs like WIC which allow mothers to buy milk for their children in order to prevent kids who have nothing to do with their economic status from starving to death.

In the end, of course, I have no say in the matter other than to vote every of couple of years in elections that are basically predetermined (at lest where I live) from the get-go. Taxes are obligatory. I couldn't stop paying them if I wanted to as they are withheld from me, and even if I did figure out a way to stop paying them, I could be imprisoned. What can I do about it? Well, I could start attacking people who are asking innocent questions on the internet. But I basically just pay my taxes and live and let live. There is no point in getting upset over something I can't change.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

The best and the brightest:

http://www.boston.com/news/nation/washingt...it_25_year_low/

I admit that I don't know a lot about this as I've never considered living on the dole (i.e. joining the military, and yes, that is living on the dole as much as being a WPA employee in the 30s was), but I think you might be technically correct in that the military asks you either promise that you will at some point finish your high school education or, in the case of violent drug addicts, at least apply for a waiver. In any event, I have absolutely zero desire to fund any of it with even a penny of my hard-earned money that I actually have to go out and make. I don't mind putting a couple of cents a year towards programs like WIC which allow mothers to buy milk for their children in order to prevent kids who have nothing to do with their economic status from starving to death.

In the end, of course, I have no say in the matter other than to vote every of couple of years in elections that are basically predetermined (at lest where I live) from the get-go. Taxes are obligatory. I couldn't stop paying them if I wanted to as they are withheld from me, and even if I did figure out a way to stop paying them, I could be imprisoned. What can I do about it? Well, I could start attacking people who are asking innocent questions on the internet. But I basically just pay my taxes and live and let live. There is no point in getting upset over something I can't change.

Your post is insulting to people that serve our country, whether or not you like where they get sent and for what reason. The rest of the post confirms your admission. Thanks for clarifying.

[rebeccajo 14]

The best and the brightest:

http://www.boston.com/news/nation/washingt...it_25_year_low/

I admit that I don't know a lot about this as I've never considered living on the dole (i.e. joining the military, and yes, that is living on the dole as much as being a WPA employee in the 30s was), but I think you might be technically correct in that the military asks you either promise that you will at some point finish your high school education or, in the case of violent drug addicts, at least apply for a waiver. In any event, I have absolutely zero desire to fund any of it with even a penny of my hard-earned money that I actually have to go out and make. I don't mind putting a couple of cents a year towards programs like WIC which allow mothers to buy milk for their children in order to prevent kids who have nothing to do with their economic status from starving to death.

In the end, of course, I have no say in the matter other than to vote every of couple of years in elections that are basically predetermined (at lest where I live) from the get-go. Taxes are obligatory. I couldn't stop paying them if I wanted to as they are withheld from me, and even if I did figure out a way to stop paying them, I could be imprisoned. What can I do about it? Well, I could start attacking people who are asking innocent questions on the internet. But I basically just pay my taxes and live and let live. There is no point in getting upset over something I can't change.

Your post is insulting to people that serve our country, whether or not you like where they get sent and for what reason. The rest of the post confirms your admission. Thanks for clarifying.

Actually, I think all he did was make a categorical statement about a group of people. Something you did when referring to persons who use public assistance.

Not very nice when it get turns around, is it?

OH SNAP!!!!

Well, I didn't mean it to be 'snapp-ish'. I meant it to be 'food for thought-ish'.

And not to play the 'old age card' AGAIN, but I do think peoples opinions on these topics often change as they age. I know the issue of healthcare becomes a more and more 'passionate' one as I age.

I was agreeing with you, sister darneeeeeeet

Oh, I know you were. And I appreciate that.

I was just trying to make it clear I wasn't 'picking a fight'.

[rebeccajo 14]

I feel the same way about my tax dollars being spent for military excursions into other parts of the world under false pretenses.

As do I. I feel military spending should be FAR more tightly regulated and the majority of our military scaled back to a defense meant for Homeland Security and formal declarations of war brought upon us (or declared on another nation transparently as a response to attack). Overall, I think we should be less involved, militarily, in the goings-on of the rest of the world.

I'm wondering if your husband feels the same way as you. My husband is from the UK and I know his thoughts about which nation is the most 'family friendly'.

He does indeed feel the exact same way as me. Having worked in Britain for quite some time, he was no stranger to the absolutely abhorrent amount of taxes taken out of his checks in exchange for what was often, at best, sub-par healthcare and a dole that literally offered no motivation for anyone to ever get off it.

He had to have a minor surgery on ingrown toenails shortly after he got here, a condition that wouldn't have been as bad if the numerous UK doctors he'd seen since the problem began (at age 17; he's now 25) had actually treated him properly and looked for root CAUSES of the inflammation, rather than just cutting here and there, slapping a bandage on it, and sending him on his way like one in a herd of cattle. Without insurance, yes, it was a bit costly (about $750 for the entire procedure). But the doctor was involved, she X-rayed him for free to be sure that the lack of proper care up to that point hadn't caused a bone infection in his foot (it hadn't, thankfully), encouraged us to follow up with her as needed (at no charge), and sure enough, we've had no problems whatsoever ever since.

He said that, yes, the prices for healthcare were kind of cumbersome (and definitely would be better if we had some insurance for him), but he got exactly what he paid for and he'd be happy to do it again. He appreciated having the choice rather than absolutely sky-high private insurance and costs for private practitioners in a country where an insane amount of his pay was eaten up in taxes and VAT, making it nearly impossible for him to exercise any real "choice" he might have had in the UK.

In his opinion, like mine, it isn't the government's job to be "family friendly", as it's the individuals choice to HAVE a family. No one ever made someone have children at gunpoint.

My husband and I are insured in the US. If my husband had a procedure that cost $750 (as yours did) we would still end up paying for it because of the deductible which is part of that insurance.

Now - I don't mind paying for insurance. If there were nationalized healthcare in the US, I'd be paying for it in the form of tax dollars. What I have a problem with is paying for insurance and STILL paying for healthcare.

As for the quality of healthcare in the UK, I've been reading these boards long enough to know that it tends to vary from trust to trust. That's not unlike the US where the quality tends to vary from state to state or hospital to hospital.

And - "family friendly" in the context I used it didn't mean just families with children. In the UK, if you loose your job (which happens these days to lots of people through no fault of their own), you don't loose your healthcover. You likely receive a redundancy package and you draw unemployment until you find other work. In the US, you find yourself uninsured and a single serious hospitalization can wipe out everything you have worked for. You draw unemployment for a maximum of 6 months. I think something like a job loss is hard enough on a family (children or no children) without having to worry about whether or not you might get sick or worrying whether you can find work fast enough to keep the roof over your head.

[rebeccajo 14]

She needs to get a job and stop having taxpayers support her.

SPOT ON Im sick of paying for free loaders!

Let me tell you both something! I was NOT (and never have been) a freeloader when I took public assistance for food. I was a single mother at one time and I was working a job that barely paid the bills. My ex went 13 months without paying child support that was very much needed. My daughter has special needs and feeding her was my top priority. I had to pay all the normal bills that two income households pay as well as making sure my daughter's needs were taken care of. How can either of you sit in judgment of moms who are in the situation that I was once in???? It is people with the shallow holier than thou mentality of yours that makes it so f'ing hard for the rest of us to hold our heads up high even though getting help in a time of need. Geezus...that's what those programs are for and yes I know that some people misuse them. Neither of you know this woman's situation so you have no basis whatsoever to judge her.

Just remember....Karma can really be a biotch!

*waves*

You should be in these upper forums more often! Miss ya!

[toma1 10]

MODERATORS:

This thread is not and never was about immigration and should be moved to the off topic section...

[venusfire503 54]

I'd much rather pay for someone to buy food for their kids than pay a zillion dollars a minute to send 10,000 high school drop-outs to go torture and kill Iraqis,

My younger brother is not a high school drop out, and he's not killing and torturing anyone. He has a Master's Degree, but had difficulty finding a job, so re-enrolled in the Army so he could support his family. My cousin wasn't a high school drop out, either. He was in the middle of his degree when he was sent over. He wasn't killing or torturing anyone either, but did manage to survive getting shot at every day.

It's bad enough that we have to worry about our soldiers every day without people making nasty comments about them. People should think before they post.

venusfire

[venusfire503 54]

Actually, I think all he did was make a categorical statement about a group of people. Something you did when referring to persons who use public assistance.

Not very nice when it get turns around, is it?

I'm not trying to pick a fight either, but there's a big difference between saying that one bunch of people are freeloaders, and another bunch of people are uneducated killers.

Please read my entire post - I might be saying something other than what it seems at first.

As far as the food stamp thing, I can see why some people are getting upset. It does sound like the OP's only concern is keeping something 'free', even if that wasn't his intent. And like another person here, I also have some relatives who milk the system, and it really bothers me. I DO realize that it's not fair to overgeneralize, however. When I first graduated from college in 1990, I ended up taking a job where the first paycheck didn't come for several weeks, I had about $11 to my name, and I applied for food stamps. I was amazed to get $40, and went out and bought pasta and canned tomatoes. I think I even splurged and got some mozzarella and ground beef. I stretched it out, making spaghetti, beefaroni, whatever. I was also lucky enough to have food available at work. The people who gave me the food stamps wanted me to go back to reapply for more, and when I told them I didn't want anymore (because my check was coming soon), I think they thought I was nuts. I also have a sister who has occasionally used public assistance. She got pregnant (which is foolish, but can happen to anyone - and her beliefs made an abortion out of the question), got married, and needed some help until her husband got a good job. Her husband has supported them over the years (more than 15 now), but they recently found out their young son has type 1 diabetes (which I've learned is very different than type 2). He needs extra coverage from the government for his medical needs (as do most type 1s).

Also, as far as the woman referred to by the OP, we don't know her situation. We don't know if she's working or not, if any of her children have unusual needs, or if she was ever married. We don't know if she has the education to get a good enough job to support her children, and if not, why. Who knows - she could even be mentally disabled (or whatever the PC word/phrase is now). We also don't know if she lives in an area where you need a very high income to get by, and maybe her ex managed to prevent her from moving to a more affordable area (as part of my divorce settlement, I agreed to keep the children in this area). Right now, I have no problems paying my bills, but with the economy the way it is, and my ex filing for primary custody (which, in the unlikely scenario he wins, I found out would significantly lower my child support payment, which right now covers my mortgage), I COULD end up with problems in the future. (yes, I'm taking steps in case that happens) Maybe even with her income and the OPs income, they will still have problems getting by. I'm sure there are people on this forum who financially qualify to bring someone here on a visa (and yes, I read that the OP might not even be involved in immigration, but that's besides the point) who are struggling financially. $20,000 - or even $100,000 - isn't the same in all parts of the country.

I guess what I'm saying is, yes, it's understandable that people sometimes need help. I for one am not begrudging anyone that, and doubt that many others would. That's what it's there for - a temporary hand through a rough patch. None of us can predict the future, and anything can happen to anyone at any time - even when we're being careful. I don't like paying taxes anymore than anyone else, but thank God we don't live in a time and place where hard times can mean starving to death.

I also agree though that IF she is one of those opportunists who just doesn't care about anything other than what she can get, then most people aren't going to be happy about that. Unfortunately, some people do think of it (being on welfare) as a way of life. The thing is, we just don't know which category she falls into. The way it was written, though, it's easy to think that OP is just concerned about getting whatever he can (maybe she isn't even the one who is concerned about losing the food stamps). It's also possible that they are working towards getting off of assistance, and are just figuring out a budget, so they want more information. We just don't know, and it's human to make assumptions.

Just my thoughts.

venusfire

[Chica Yeyé 41]

OH SNAP!!!!

Well, I didn't mean it to be 'snapp-ish'. I meant it to be 'food for thought-ish'.

And not to play the 'old age card' AGAIN, but I do think peoples opinions on these topics often change as they age. I know the issue of healthcare becomes a more and more 'passionate' one as I age.

I was agreeing with you, sister darneeeeeeet

Oh, I know you were. And I appreciate that.

I was just trying to make it clear I wasn't 'picking a fight'.

#######?!?!?! Why not??? I always love a goood b1tch death match

[jundp 191]

1. Not every person who uses public assistance is a freeloader

2. Not everyone in the military is an uneducated killer

There sure are a lot of crazy stereotypes floating around VJ

[Chica Yeyé 41]

1. Not every person who uses public assistance is a freeloader

2. Not everyone in the military is an uneducated killer

There sure are a lot of crazy stereotypes floating around VJ

Hmmm... u just hear the words death match and have to come over and steal my thunder, eh???

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Thread moved from AOS to Off topic as it is not immigration related