to all the wive's out there..

[easygoingcouple 0]

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."

Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

[=FoxyBLUE= 2]

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

David Bissonette oh well, sometimes love stories are just good at the beginning, but ended up asa nightmare (SOMETIMES lang..baka may mag-react )

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Sacha Guitry good one! she can do the same to you too...just wait for your time

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Hemant Joshi make it sure its a 10 centavo philippine coin..atleast there is a whole where you can breathe without the other one reacting

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates well...this is all i can say "My Man is happy!" need not to explain...

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas not all....well, those are the narrowminded one.....

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud just SHUT UP..that's all we want!

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous we just want to make sure that all things are clear to you..that we wont have to tell it to you over and over again....coz sometimes you dont listen...

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Henny Youngman OMG! i cant help butlaugh here...yeah! that's a good idea

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

Sam Kinison hahaha....we are members of Abu Sayyaf dont you know that? we become so violent if demands were not given..lol

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

James Holt McGavran "What is mine is mine...what is yours is MINE" lol

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."

Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Nash

SO TRUE!! Learn from this guys...

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

Anonymous just ONCE..never ever forget it for the second time..coz this means WAR!

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

[sasha414 0]

i need to print this and stick it on our fridge door

[tallcoolone 102]

i need to print this and stick it on our fridge door

Yea, that's what you should do

People quoting Rodney Dangerfield in the PI Section.

Now that's pretty funny

[spartan 2]

"So they no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

BY: JESUS CHRIST

"The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. In the same way the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer."

BY: APOSTLE PAUL

[pinaigiggles888 0]

An excellent wife, who can find?

For her worth is far above jewels.

The heart of her husband trusts in her,

And he will have no lack of gain.

She does him good and not evil

All the days of her life.

Proverbs 31:10-12

[muñequita linda 0]

People quoting Rodney Dangerfield in the PI Section.

Rodney Dangerfield's Best One-Liners

"I went to a hooker, and she told me, 'Not on the first date.'"

"My wife does a lot of charity work. She handles all the policemen's balls."

"I went to a nude beach, and they told me it wasn't polite to point."

"At the nude beach I saw a 100-pound man with 50-pound testicles. He told me he was sick. I told him, 'You're not sick. You're half-nuts.'"

"I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west!"

"My mother had morning sickness after I was born."

"I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette!"

"They say, 'Love thy neighbor as thy self.' What am I supposed to do? Jerk him off too?"

"I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me."

"A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home."

"I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said, 'No. I hate myself now.'"

"I was tired one night and I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, 'What'll you have?' I said, 'surprise me.' He showed me a naked picture of my wife."

"I went to see my doctor — you know him, Dr. Vinny Boom Batz. I told him, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror, I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?' He said, 'I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.""

"My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him, 'If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion.' He said, "All right, you're ugly too.""

"My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met."

"During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel."

[ailyn 0]

Anybody would want to post something about husbands this time??

[luckymom 0]

For me it's very simple. Just remember the golden rule and everything will turn out the way you expect. Advance Happy Mothers day to all mothers and wives out there. It's our day and we should be proud of it. Being a WIFE and MOTHER at the same is a wonderful task.

[edp333 9]

Anybody would want to post something about husbands this time??

Too late. There has only been about 4 or 5 threads on husbands since 2007.

[felb 0]

those were pretty funny. hubby better not share the same opinions or else...