Impending interview - need so much advice!

[Aneres 0]

Hello, I realize this is my first post and I wish I'd have found this place sooner cuz I'm skipping a load of backstory, AND rambling but yeah..... I and my fiancee's interview is on may 18. I am in Arizona USA and he is in Norwich UK. I can't be there for his interview (in fact, he's taking the train alone to the embassy in London) and I am soooooooooooo crazy nervous and looking for ALL the help I can get *makes crazy desperate face*

Is there anywhere I can go for good advice for him for his interview? I've been doing as much research as I can online but I was hoping for something I could show, rather than tell him, to help his (and thus my) confidence. Anyone have any firsthand accounts of their interview? Of having to go completely alone? Any sage words for some really scared kids? >__<

He's never lived in the city, and is quite scared. I don't know what to do to help him besides all the promises I've made him already for the past 4 years. I've never lived outside of the city. I'd LOVE to. But realistically we couldn't afford to just live wherever we want, we have only service jobs, and need to plan some education before we could plan as big a move as we're already currently planning. Right? And he won't be able to work for a long time after he gets here. Which scares him too, he doesn't want to not be able to work. That's thinking too far ahead I think tho, because I'm more concerned with the adjustment period and just how to cope with it.

There's a million things we're scared of. Stuff we always knew would come up, some of it we've already talked through over the years... It's certainly all racing through my head since the interview date was set.

How will he adjust to having lived his whole life in a really cold place to a REALLY hot place? He'll pretty much be arriving in Phoenix in the middle of summer! >___< to live indefinitely, until I/we can afford to live elsewhere.

How can I help him to not feel overcome by the city? This is a HUGE city, even I think so and I've lived here all my life. I don't at the moment have a car, all my money is going to the new apartment and getting him here and having a wedding... Maybe I should invest in soundproofing and a really good air conditioner? lol

How will he adjust to moving away from his life and me being the only thing in it? Not that either of us have much of an outside life, thanks to having a long distance relationship like this. But once he's here we're free to have all the social life we want, I'm looking forward to not living on the computer in order to spend time with him. And live in the same freaking timezone! (HATE the timezone difference, I have since DAY ONE! Its SO HARD to live in two timezones!!!!! -end rant)

Reading back on what I've written so far, questions like these seem to have little to do with 'help me with impending interview', but I think feeling more confident about such things as he prepares for the interview will help immensely. Might at least help me from chewing my knuckles off while I wait for him to come home and tell me...

Phew. Thanks for reading, if you did.

[Talyss 0]

Hi and welcome to the boards.

You might find reading through the embassy reviews for London useful

http://www.visajourney.com/reviews/index.p...nited%20Kingdom

also come on over to the UK forum as there is a lot of useful information and shared experiences of others preparing for their interviews and moving from the UK to the US

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showforum=99

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Hello, I realize this is my first post and I wish I'd have found this place sooner cuz I'm skipping a load of backstory, AND rambling but yeah..... I and my fiancee's interview is on may 18. I am in Arizona USA and he is in Norwich UK. I can't be there for his interview (in fact, he's taking the train alone to the embassy in London) and I am soooooooooooo crazy nervous and looking for ALL the help I can get *makes crazy desperate face*

Is there anywhere I can go for good advice for him for his interview? I've been doing as much research as I can online but I was hoping for something I could show, rather than tell him, to help his (and thus my) confidence. Anyone have any firsthand accounts of their interview? Of having to go completely alone? Any sage words for some really scared kids? >__<

He's never lived in the city, and is quite scared. I don't know what to do to help him besides all the promises I've made him already for the past 4 years. I've never lived outside of the city. I'd LOVE to. But realistically we couldn't afford to just live wherever we want, we have only service jobs, and need to plan some education before we could plan as big a move as we're already currently planning. Right? And he won't be able to work for a long time after he gets here. Which scares him too, he doesn't want to not be able to work. That's thinking too far ahead I think tho, because I'm more concerned with the adjustment period and just how to cope with it.

There's a million things we're scared of. Stuff we always knew would come up, some of it we've already talked through over the years... It's certainly all racing through my head since the interview date was set.

How will he adjust to having lived his whole life in a really cold place to a REALLY hot place? He'll pretty much be arriving in Phoenix in the middle of summer! >___< to live indefinitely, until I/we can afford to live elsewhere.

How can I help him to not feel overcome by the city? This is a HUGE city, even I think so and I've lived here all my life. I don't at the moment have a car, all my money is going to the new apartment and getting him here and having a wedding... Maybe I should invest in soundproofing and a really good air conditioner? lol

How will he adjust to moving away from his life and me being the only thing in it? Not that either of us have much of an outside life, thanks to having a long distance relationship like this. But once he's here we're free to have all the social life we want, I'm looking forward to not living on the computer in order to spend time with him. And live in the same freaking timezone! (HATE the timezone difference, I have since DAY ONE! Its SO HARD to live in two timezones!!!!! -end rant)

Reading back on what I've written so far, questions like these seem to have little to do with 'help me with impending interview', but I think feeling more confident about such things as he prepares for the interview will help immensely. Might at least help me from chewing my knuckles off while I wait for him to come home and tell me...

Phew. Thanks for reading, if you did.

Have all your papers in order and I think he will have no problem with the interview.

LOOK LEFT before crossing the street...and that is NOT a joke. Coming from England to what can only be Pheonix (huge city in Arizona) I would say, yes, make sure the air conditioner is working.

[Aneres 0]

Thank you so much!

Oh god I can't get the scaredeys out of my tummy :S

[TBoneTX 46,173]

What in your "backstory" is worrisome? And, please create a timeline.

Edited May 5, 2009 by TBoneTX

[Nik+Heather 121]

Deeeeep breaths! London is a relatively easy consulate to go through. Check out the link up at the very top of the page Reviews: Embassy -- you'll see long stories about people's experiences in London.

If your interview is on May 18, you still have time to check that your things are in order before that date. There are several threads in the UK forum which contain people's (sometimes overly extensive) checklists. I like the one by the user Mr & Mrs...There are also lots of posts regarding the best places to look for transportation to London, and the few times I've visited there, I thought that the underground was relatively easy to navigate. There are maps all over, and the platforms and such are all clearly labeled.

Regarding how you think your fiance will react to Arizona, Nik tells me that he rather enjoyed the heat. He's been here for some 113 degree days, but not a whole summer (yet!). Hopefully, like those of us who live here, he'll enjoy the other 9 months of the year where you can be enjoying the outdoors nearly every day. And the sun!

[Anh map 2,098]

The best thing you can do is not expect him to act like a local after being there for a couple of months. It's new and simple routine things may be intimidating. Be patient, don't freak out if he says he wants to go home. Just be supportive. It's all survivable.

As far as getting used to the scale of Phoenix, have him spend some time in London, or take him to LA or NYC. Phoenix will shrink in size rather quickly.

Edited May 5, 2009 by Anh map

[Aneres 0]

The 'worrisome' backstory is only that he has a prior arrest for marijuana possession. No conviction. My lawyer tells me that won't be held against him unless he admits to having used. Since there was no conviction only an arrest, he should be ok. We are worried about exactly how to word such a response tho. I've asked my lawyer but not received a response yet.

And, is there a specific place to create a timeline? Ours is really long :s We suffer from depression and we both have the 'hard to get things done' symptom....

Basic Timeline: met online playing video games in August 2004.

June 2006: attempted to visit him in UK, was turned away at the gate by immigrations, was not able to see him.

December 2006: Holiday together for 2 weeks, in Amsterdam.

March 2007: I get job and work towards promotions and raises and eventually earn enough (I thought) to qualify for sponsorship.

December 2007: I buy a lawyer and begin gathering everything for the petition. (Took a very long time, had to work for a year to generate an W2 with enough to qualify.)

April 2008: I129F Submitted.

September 2008: Petition Approved

December 2008: Lawyer informs me I don't qualify for sponsorship. I finally, after 2 years, talk my father into co-sponsoring.

January 2009: Effective Petition end date, we thankfully got an extension.

May 18 2009: Consulate Interview.

Edited May 5, 2009 by Aneres

[limejello 0]

The 'worrisome' backstory is only that he has a prior arrest for marijuana possession. No conviction. My lawyer tells me that won't be held against him unless he admits to having used. Since there was no conviction only an arrest, he should be ok. We are worried about exactly how to word such a response tho. I've asked my lawyer but not received a response yet.

And, is there a specific place to create a timeline? Ours is really long :s We suffer from depression and we both have the 'hard to get things done' symptom....

Basic Timeline: met online playing video games in August 2004.

June 2006: attempted to visit him in UK, was turned away at the gate by immigrations, was not able to see him.

December 2006: Holiday together for 2 weeks, in Amsterdam.

March 2007: I get job and work towards promotions and raises and eventually earn enough (I thought) to qualify for sponsorship.

December 2007: I buy a lawyer and begin gathering everything for the petition. (Took a very long time, had to work for a year to generate an W2 with enough to qualify.)

April 2008: I129F Submitted.

September 2008: Petition Approved

December 2008: Lawyer informs me I don't qualify for sponsorship. I finally, after 2 years, talk my father into co-sponsoring.

January 2009: Effective Petition end date, we thankfully got an extension.

May 18 2009: Consulate Interview.

We ran into another couple who were interviewing (at the Juarez consulate in Mexico) and the foreign fiance's fingerprints came up during the fingerprint scan for a crime that (like your fiance) he was arrested for but never convicted (they just let him go), and those fingerprints were originally taken 15 years ago when he was 14 years old. He had to get something from the police/judge saying that he was not convicted. You might have to do something similar.

[Nik+Heather 121]

The 'worrisome' backstory is only that he has a prior arrest for marijuana possession. No conviction. My lawyer tells me that won't be held against him unless he admits to having used. Since there was no conviction only an arrest, he should be ok. We are worried about exactly how to word such a response tho. I've asked my lawyer but not received a response yet.

And, is there a specific place to create a timeline? Ours is really long :s We suffer from depression and we both have the 'hard to get things done' symptom....

Basic Timeline: met online playing video games in August 2004.

June 2006: attempted to visit him in UK, was turned away at the gate by immigrations, was not able to see him.

December 2006: Holiday together for 2 weeks, in Amsterdam.

March 2007: I get job and work towards promotions and raises and eventually earn enough (I thought) to qualify for sponsorship.

December 2007: I buy a lawyer and begin gathering everything for the petition. (Took a very long time, had to work for a year to generate an W2 with enough to qualify.)

April 2008: I129F Submitted.

September 2008: Petition Approved

December 2008: Lawyer informs me I don't qualify for sponsorship. I finally, after 2 years, talk my father into co-sponsoring.

January 2009: Effective Petition end date, we thankfully got an extension.

May 18 2009: Consulate Interview.

We ran into another couple who were interviewing (at the Juarez consulate in Mexico) and the foreign fiance's fingerprints came up during the fingerprint scan for a crime that (like your fiance) he was arrested for but never convicted (they just let him go), and those fingerprints were originally taken 15 years ago when he was 14 years old. He had to get something from the police/judge saying that he was not convicted. You might have to do something similar.

They have this in London already - they ask for a police certificate, which should show any convictions if they are there.

[limejello 0]

The 'worrisome' backstory is only that he has a prior arrest for marijuana possession. No conviction. My lawyer tells me that won't be held against him unless he admits to having used. Since there was no conviction only an arrest, he should be ok. We are worried about exactly how to word such a response tho. I've asked my lawyer but not received a response yet.

And, is there a specific place to create a timeline? Ours is really long :s We suffer from depression and we both have the 'hard to get things done' symptom....

Basic Timeline: met online playing video games in August 2004.

June 2006: attempted to visit him in UK, was turned away at the gate by immigrations, was not able to see him.

December 2006: Holiday together for 2 weeks, in Amsterdam.

March 2007: I get job and work towards promotions and raises and eventually earn enough (I thought) to qualify for sponsorship.

December 2007: I buy a lawyer and begin gathering everything for the petition. (Took a very long time, had to work for a year to generate an W2 with enough to qualify.)

April 2008: I129F Submitted.

September 2008: Petition Approved

December 2008: Lawyer informs me I don't qualify for sponsorship. I finally, after 2 years, talk my father into co-sponsoring.

January 2009: Effective Petition end date, we thankfully got an extension.

May 18 2009: Consulate Interview.

We ran into another couple who were interviewing (at the Juarez consulate in Mexico) and the foreign fiance's fingerprints came up during the fingerprint scan for a crime that (like your fiance) he was arrested for but never convicted (they just let him go), and those fingerprints were originally taken 15 years ago when he was 14 years old. He had to get something from the police/judge saying that he was not convicted. You might have to do something similar.

They have this in London already - they ask for a police certificate, which should show any convictions if they are there.

Ok, that's taken care of then. Sometimes they ask for them in Juarez, but most of the time not. I wonder, though, if "posession", even without a conviction, might connote "use". That opens a whole new can of worms, which, hopefully the medical exam will clear up all doubts (if in fact he hasn't used).

[Aneres 0]

Yeah he already possesses the police certificate. It says no conviction. We're only worried about the question - how do you say you got arrested for possession but never possessed or used? I'm rather concerned with the wording, i wish i could see ahead of time who and how it was gonna be asked.

At the risk of incriminating us, as I'm sure this place doesnt have confidentiality..... he hasnt used since september, so I'm not too worried about the med exam.

Edited May 6, 2009 by Aneres

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Yeah he already possesses the police certificate. It says no conviction. We're only worried about the question - how do you say you got arrested for possession but never possessed or used? I'm rather concerned with the wording, i wish i could see ahead of time who and how it was gonna be asked.

At the risk of incriminating us, as I'm sure this place doesnt have confidentiality..... he hasnt used since september, so I'm not too worried about the med exam.

Sounds to me like he was arrested with some other people who possessed marijuana, but of course he did not and it was a mistake, hence no conviction. Mistakes happen. Maybe?

[Giskat09 2]

Hello, I realize this is my first post and I wish I'd have found this place sooner cuz I'm skipping a load of backstory, AND rambling but yeah..... I and my fiancee's interview is on may 18. I am in Arizona USA and he is in Norwich UK. I can't be there for his interview (in fact, he's taking the train alone to the embassy in London) and I am soooooooooooo crazy nervous and looking for ALL the help I can get *makes crazy desperate face*

Is there anywhere I can go for good advice for him for his interview? I've been doing as much research as I can online but I was hoping for something I could show, rather than tell him, to help his (and thus my) confidence. Anyone have any firsthand accounts of their interview? Of having to go completely alone? Any sage words for some really scared kids? >__<

He's never lived in the city, and is quite scared. I don't know what to do to help him besides all the promises I've made him already for the past 4 years. I've never lived outside of the city. I'd LOVE to. But realistically we couldn't afford to just live wherever we want, we have only service jobs, and need to plan some education before we could plan as big a move as we're already currently planning. Right? And he won't be able to work for a long time after he gets here. Which scares him too, he doesn't want to not be able to work. That's thinking too far ahead I think tho, because I'm more concerned with the adjustment period and just how to cope with it.

There's a million things we're scared of. Stuff we always knew would come up, some of it we've already talked through over the years... It's certainly all racing through my head since the interview date was set.

How will he adjust to having lived his whole life in a really cold place to a REALLY hot place? He'll pretty much be arriving in Phoenix in the middle of summer! >___< to live indefinitely, until I/we can afford to live elsewhere.

How can I help him to not feel overcome by the city? This is a HUGE city, even I think so and I've lived here all my life. I don't at the moment have a car, all my money is going to the new apartment and getting him here and having a wedding... Maybe I should invest in soundproofing and a really good air conditioner? lol

How will he adjust to moving away from his life and me being the only thing in it? Not that either of us have much of an outside life, thanks to having a long distance relationship like this. But once he's here we're free to have all the social life we want, I'm looking forward to not living on the computer in order to spend time with him. And live in the same freaking timezone! (HATE the timezone difference, I have since DAY ONE! Its SO HARD to live in two timezones!!!!! -end rant)

Reading back on what I've written so far, questions like these seem to have little to do with 'help me with impending interview', but I think feeling more confident about such things as he prepares for the interview will help immensely. Might at least help me from chewing my knuckles off while I wait for him to come home and tell me...

Phew. Thanks for reading, if you did.

tell your husband to be brave.. what if he is already there? he should be more confident and have the courage to face anyone. just give him a positive encouragement and thigns wil be totally fine

[Aneres 0]

Thank you for all the advice guys! I've been spamming all this info at him xD

And yes, all the positive encouragement I can give... which is hard with my own insecurities and fears... wish I had a friend IRL to talk to, oh well >.<

I want to prepare for the worst too, and I don't know how I'm going to cope with failure. I have no support system at home. My parents will just say 'I told you so'. Anyone know of any good crisis hotlines or summen in Phoenix? >.<