wife left

[baron555 934]

I know i have a bad temper i need work on

Sounds like there never was any chance with this relationship. Always two sides to every story.

[SuperDuper! 230]

I know i have a bad temper i need work on

Sounds like there never was any chance with this relationship. Always two sides to every story.

It sounds like the Ho Chi Minh Embassy is TOUGH on applicants for good reason.

Just what puts the HO in Ho Chi Minh, anyways?

Absolutely heart breaking story, dude. Condolences.

Dressing up sexy, hanging out with men till 6am, and coming home with hundreds of dollars. Sorry, they were not playing tiddliwinks.

[Việt Kiều 2]

This can happen in any country.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

I know i have a bad temper i need work on

Sounds like there never was any chance with this relationship. Always two sides to every story.

It sounds like the Ho Chi Minh Embassy is TOUGH on applicants for good reason.

Just what puts the HO in Ho Chi Minh, anyways?

Absolutely heart breaking story, dude. Condolences.

Dressing up sexy, hanging out with men till 6am, and coming home with hundreds of dollars. Sorry, they were not playing tiddliwinks.

The US Embassy in Vietnam is in Hanoi, and they don't handle visa applications. Visas are handled by the consulate in Ho Chi Minh city.

The US Consulate in HCM is tough on applicants because of the amount of visa fraud that goes on - not because they are concerned with importing prostitutes into the US. Visa fraud is common in any country with widespread poverty, but it is higher in Vietnam because of the large number of Vietnamese ex-pats living in the US who want to reunite with their families. Three large scale US immigration programs since the end of the war have resulted in millions of Vietnamese ex-pats in the US.

The Vietnamese government has little tolerance for prostitution, and the Vietnamese people are conservative when it comes to sex. Even pornography is illegal. Forget what you've seen in Vietnam war movies. Prostitution exists in Vietnam, but not on the scale it exists in Thailand or the Philippines.

Not that it matters, but people who live in glass houses...

[Teacher Mark 53]

I know i have a bad temper i need work on

Sounds like there never was any chance with this relationship. Always two sides to every story.

It sounds like the Ho Chi Minh Embassy is TOUGH on applicants for good reason.

Just what puts the HO in Ho Chi Minh, anyways?

Absolutely heart breaking story, dude. Condolences.

Dressing up sexy, hanging out with men till 6am, and coming home with hundreds of dollars. Sorry, they were not playing tiddliwinks.

The US Embassy in Vietnam is in Hanoi, and they don't handle visa applications. Visas are handled by the consulate in Ho Chi Minh city.

The US Consulate in HCM is tough on applicants because of the amount of visa fraud that goes on - not because they are concerned with importing prostitutes into the US. Visa fraud is common in any country with widespread poverty, but it is higher in Vietnam because of the large number of Vietnamese ex-pats living in the US who want to reunite with their families. Three large scale US immigration programs since the end of the war have resulted in millions of Vietnamese ex-pats in the US.

The Vietnamese government has little tolerance for prostitution, and the Vietnamese people are conservative when it comes to sex. Even pornography is illegal. Forget what you've seen in Vietnam war movies. Prostitution exists in Vietnam, but not on the scale it exists in Thailand or the Philippines.

Not that it matters, but people who live in glass houses...

Well put Jim.

You still around Frank?

[BinhJerome 14]

Sorry for your luck. I will not commit on your words, only say to get a lawyer and start to file for custody papers. Document anything wrong with the children when they come or leave, this way if you see any new marks you can report it. If you feel she is on drugs point this out, the courts with enough probable cause can have a drug test done. Worry about your children, and not anything else. Eventually you will find the right person. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your children.

Jerome and Binh

[ScottThuy 140]

Sorry for your luck. I will not commit on your words, only say to get a lawyer and start to file for custody papers. Document anything wrong with the children when they come or leave, this way if you see any new marks you can report it. If you feel she is on drugs point this out, the courts with enough probable cause can have a drug test done. Worry about your children, and not anything else. Eventually you will find the right person. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your children.

Jerome and Binh

They were not his kids... They were hers... He brought them over on K2

Mark, he hasn't been around for a couple of months...

[BinhJerome 14]

I just noticed this was a really old post lol! This is done and over with

[Teacher Mark 53]

I just noticed this was a really old post lol! This is done and over with

Thanks Scott.

I waited 2 months before I announced my divorce. He may update someday.

[Matt_Stevens 5]

Most likely he won't be back. Few come back after finding out they were completely humiliated by a scamming woman. This happens all of the time! More often than anyone here wants to admit. It's more common than not, despite all of us wanting to believe that we are special and we prove that it's just poppycock. It isn't, sad to say.

When Anh and I ran into some marital troubles early on, I began to think I was being scammed, but thankfully it turned out to be a false assumption. The woman loves me. She has had plenty of time to bail out and take off and has not come close. So many are not as lucky as I and living in NYC I have seen it many many times these past two years.

One reason for this is having so many Vietnamese friends. You hear things and come across people in this kind of situation. Anh has a friend at work who was born in the Philippines and came here when he was an infant. He married a girl he met while visiting family back in his home country. She was drop dead gorgeous and sexy and as soon as she had her two year green card, suddenly everything changed. She began dressing sexy, going out, coming home late, etc. Sound familiar? Next thing he knew, she left him. He's been devastated by this and can barely stand to get himself to work each day.

One thing I see so often are guys with no real money getting involved with gals overseas. Let me put this to you plainly. If you have credit card debt you cannot pay off or a car loan you cannot get rid of, then you cannot afford to marry a girl from another country. You just can't! Yes, there are exceptions, but look, I was financially sound, quite sound, but then my career hit a stall, Anh got sick and that wiped out my savings and presto, we struggled the first two years. Then we got back on our feet and I lost my job and now we are hurting again! Were Anh not so strongly committed to honoring her marriage vows and staying true to how she was raised, we'd be done. Thank heavens next year is lining up to be a lot better.

Then there is the matter of guys having yellow fever. Sorry, but it is very real. So many white guys in the USA are flat out nuts when it comes to Asian women and they fall in love very fast and think it's OK to marry despite not really knowing ANYTHING at all about the person they are madly into it with. This is insane. You do not know a person unless you have spend hundreds of hours with them. There are vast cultural differences at play, even with the girls who speak fluent English. Anh has struggled to understand and adapt to American life. We see so differently on so many levels that it has proved to be a deep challenge at times. How do I deal with a woman who doesn't believe there was a Tiananmen Square massacre? Who believes American soldiers were treated wonderfully while prisoners of war in Hanoi? Think about that. This is a woman who knows nothing about the Middle East conflicts that are so dangerous to this world. A woman who knows jack about the space race or how men got to the moon. She never learned because it wasn't taught in school. Yet she traveled to Europe and spent a semester in Japan and can speak fluent Japanese and decent German!

So many newbies who come here are in for a real shock. It is not an easy thing, what we are all doing. I love my wife and wouldn't change meeting and marrying her, but never did I think it would be so hard. Then again, when I look at her as she sleeps I wonder how I could possibly go on were something to happen to her. The hardships are worth it all. Every bit of it and as we now face the jackasses at the USCIS who suspect WE are committing visa fraud I know that I will fight with everything I have to get those idiots off of our backs and out of our way so we can be happy. We're almost ready with out additional evidence and hopefully it will clear the way for her receiving that ten year green card. Then she will go for citizenship and hopefully at that point kids will be in the picture.

This is running much longer than intended, so I had better stop. Good night all!

[thongd4me 69]

well, if she got her 3yr card she is most likely stayin, That sucks i mean some people are truley 2 faces So agian people KNOW WHO U ARE GETING MARRIED WITH DONT RUSH THINGS THATS THE BIGEST PROBLEM, EVERYONE THINKS THEIR IN LOVE WITH KNOWING EACH OTHER 1 MONTH COME ON,,,,,,IT CAN TAKE MONTHS BE4 YOUR PARTNER CAN SHOW HIS/HER REAL FACE, I KNOW I CAN SOUND WRONG TO MANY PEOPLE U ARE ALL SAYING U DONT KNOW ME, U DONT KNOW MY SPOUSE, SO WHAT IF WE MEET ONLINE 2WEEKS AGO AND NOW GETIN MARRIED, NO I DONT KNOW, BUT DO U KNOW THEM????? U know how long me and my husband took be4 we got married, b/c i wanted to make sure it was true love and was the right thing that we would be 2gether for ever? LETS just say are son is 5 yrs old now, ive known my husband sence he was probley 9 yrs old lol ( i even rem. him all buger faced lol) we started dating when i was 15 and now im going be 24 and we got married dec,27,07 SO DONT RUSH THINGS PEOPLE BE FOR SURE,ITS ALOT BETTER IN THE LONG RUN

yeah but the thing is i talked to my wife for 2 years everyday before i even went to vietnam 1 time. she just totaly changed when she got here. and changed a little more when the kids came . she got breast implants when she went to vietnam to get the kids . i live in a small town of fat woman and my wife gets asked out from 16 to 60 year olds everyday. then the guys she works with just give money away .

I have one failed marriage under my belt and I also have had many "internet contacts" before I met my

fiancee. The thing about internet contacts is that if you don't meet them and spend enough time together

you don't know if it's real or not. Then when you go ahead and get married you may find out it's something

entirely different. I also knew my ex wife for around 2 years before we married but not on the internet, in

real life. The thing about that is we never actually lived together before we got married and it was only then

that I saw what I was really getting. With my fiancee, we have lived together for 4 months over a period of

more than 5 years and that to me is seeing more of a person than dating for 2 years. You have to still be in

love with the person with the ups & downs of everyday life, not just going to shows and traveling. I spent

the better part of many of those days together with her at her workplace, seeing in real time how she

interacted with the boss and those under her. You can't get more real than that.

What I'm trying to say is you're still ahead of the game because you haven't been together for too long yet.

Cut your losses while you can and get DOCUMENTATION as the abovementioned posters suggested and a

good lawyer as well. There is NO excuse for that kind of behavior and you can't find any fault with yourself

because it will be turned against you for no good reason.

For me, whether you're happy or not, WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET. That kind of behavior has no excuse.

My marriage was to me a nightmare but there is always someone worse off. That person is YOU. My ex never

had a drug/drinking/sexual recreation problem, but for her it was anger. You have a whole different ball of

wax and if you think therapy for you or for her is going to do it, you're kidding yourself. Neither Oprah,

Dr. Phil or Obama's mother-in-law have the answers for you. I certainly don't. You have to #1 protect the

kids and cover your losses. The activities she is involved in can certainly get her deported and you have to

be there for the kids because she won't. She won't hesitate to use them or some imagined abuse scenario

to get at you. She has stepped over the line, gone beyond all Star Trek scripts and given you the ultimate

nose-thumb. Don't play her game, turn things around for the sake of the kids.

Extortion will be to her like a game. Don't let her in that door. Slam it shut and get a good lawyer,

not necessarily in that order. She'll waver between flirting and anger. Document that too. She'll stop

at nothing so you have to be ahead of her. Don't give an inch.

[cleo_pat 0]

well it was good while it lasted . i felt pretty lucky and happy except for a few thing i didnt agree with that we talked about the other night. first off theres alot of low class paople and druggers that work for her boss at chinese chef but my wife is friends with all of them and they all have her number becoz they are the only vietnamese in town.second she started going gambleing about a month ago on weekeds with her boss and boosses brothers all who own resterants and bosses brother in law and all the worker wich are all men that live in thwe bosses machines shed they have made into room for the workers

. my wife would get all sexy looking and go out and not come home until 6 am in the morning

. she says the boss gives everybody mone when he wins and she would come home with 300 dollars everytime. i work 3rd shift and really wasnt good for our relationship. i wanted her to be happy but i told her i didnt like it. my only nights off and she spend with them. I told her if she wanted anymore to do with them she didnt want me. iI said if i didnt trust her so much i would think she was a #######. she hit kicked me threw things at me and i swear i thought she would kill me. we have aloaded pistil in our house and i thought if she got it she would kill me so i toook it outside and out it in my truck . when i came back i layed down on my bed and later got up and the little girl asked wheres momm? i looked out on the front porch and every cop in town had a shot gun on me. she had called the police and siad i was going to kill someone and was in the house with a gun and her kids.thats when i knew we were done. the cops heard my story and found the gun in the truck unloaded and let me go. but now my wife left. she just got her 3 year green card and her kids just got there papers talking about there bio appointment. will she be able to stay in usa??? could she divorce me and remarry and stay. im so sick of wha she did to me i cant beleave it.

You should be happy to be rid of her; consider it a blessing. Move on with your life, besides it doesnt sound like she was adding any value to your life, only headaches. Make sure and document any of her crazy acts.

--v

[ScottThuy 140]

Is Frank Married and working on round 2 yet?

[Patrick808 0]

In any event you should really think hard about what end result you want and talk to a professional about it (counselor or attorney).

I think this is the best advice.

Make sure you don't make any decisions in haste or out of an emotional response.

Not knowing anything about your family... I'd guess that drugs (ice or meth) are involved.

Imagine that a month from now, your wife is in rehab, very sorry, and on her way to recovery.

You love her, or at least loved her before. There are steps you can take now that you can't take back.

Protect yourself, and your kids first, of course and quickly. But, otherwise, move slowly.

Best of luck.

[hadydot 0]

i now i cant judg people one them rease ..but agent woman ARE VEARY BOSSEY no offens to any body out thier !!!1 my best friend mom from jaban she somthing us .!!!!!