Dealing with LEAVING "the old Country"

[Joe-N-Urai 0]

I read about people adjusting to a new country... a new culture base. I am also interested in learning how sponsors helped support their beneficiary, and techniques beneficiaries used to deal with withdrawal dynamics.

I have seen 2 of these K-visas progress and I am beginning my K-visa experience (as a sponsor). I know there are long periods of non-information and lack of movement broken up by furious bouts of document gathering and traveling. Plenty of tips dealing with that.

What techniques help a beneficiary deal with the narrowing of their existing life as they progress towards interview and relocation?

[daboyz 36]

I read about people adjusting to a new country... a new culture base. I am also interested in learning how sponsors helped support their beneficiary, and techniques beneficiaries used to deal with withdrawal dynamics.

I have seen 2 of these K-visas progress and I am beginning my K-visa experience (as a sponsor). I know there are long periods of non-information and lack of movement broken up by furious bouts of document gathering and traveling. Plenty of tips dealing with that.

What techniques help a beneficiary deal with the narrowing of their existing life as they progress towards interview and relocation?

http://www.kruaklaibaan.com/forum/index.php

That's good Thai website for buying US ingredients to make Thai food.

[fozzie 41]

I read about people adjusting to a new country... a new culture base. I am also interested in learning how sponsors helped support their beneficiary, and techniques beneficiaries used to deal with withdrawal dynamics.

I have seen 2 of these K-visas progress and I am beginning my K-visa experience (as a sponsor). I know there are long periods of non-information and lack of movement broken up by furious bouts of document gathering and traveling. Plenty of tips dealing with that.

What techniques help a beneficiary deal with the narrowing of their existing life as they progress towards interview and relocation?

I take it you are the US Citizen? If so then you wil lhave to be as understanding as possible. If she feels homesick then try to bring a peice of home to her. Thai restaurants or the link suggested by a previous poster for thai ingredients and finding a thai community where you live would certainly help ease the transition. Do you live in a major urban area that may have a thai population? Once the grrencard arrives then obviously visiting Thailand as often as she needs to owould be a big help. Try to get her imersed in US culture, find hobbies and keep busy. Apart from that, just understand.

[Joe-N-Urai 0]

I can read up on what to do when she arrives here.......How about while her life there is ...shrinking?

[daboyz 36]

I can read up on what to do when she arrives here.......How about while her life there is ...shrinking?

Not much you can do. Just wait.

One thing I have noticed. Don't count on the local Thai population in the US being very kind to your wife. With a few exceptions, they have treated my wife pretty poorly. Be prepared for that.

[venusfire503 54]

Joe,

What I heard is that she can start getting rid of anything she won't be bringing here - selling or giving it away, unless she has a place to store it there. Also, I've heard it's a good idea to visit friends and family members she won't be able to see as often. I recommend her compiling a good photo album/scrap book, and make sure to have recipes of favorite foods so she can bring a little of home to her new home. Oh - and maybe sending over things that she'll want here, but won't be able to take on the plane or whatever.

I'm sure you could use more 'important' information - like maybe what to do about things like her job, maybe credit cards, bills, mail, insurance, Wills, or whatever other legal things might apply. That's something that I hope others can help with - my husband didn't really have too many things like that, since it just works differently there.

I'm sure there are other considerations if she has children, too. Again, I wish I could help - but I imagine she'd have to make sure to take care of school related things on both ends. Medical records and such?

I guess the best thing is for both of you to brainstorm any and every aspect you can think of - I'm sure there are things that others wouldn't think of that are particular to your situation.

Best of luck to both of you!

venusfire

[venusfire503 54]

Tried to edit, but it froze up - I hurried up and 'copied' in case it got lost:

Joe,

What I heard is that she can start getting rid of anything she won't be bringing here - selling or giving it away, unless she has a place to store it there. Also, I've heard it's a good idea to visit friends and family members she won't be able to see as often. I recommend her compiling a good photo album/scrap book, and make sure to have recipes of favorite foods so she can bring a little of home to her new home. Oh - and maybe sending over things that she'll want here, but won't be able to take on the plane or whatever. Maybe she can send over some home furnishings that remind her of home? We didn't really have anything Moroccan here when he got here, but we bought some things (pillows, curtains, etc) when we went to visit his family. Some immigrants might not care, but it might make the adjustment a little better for some.

Also, she might want to start or continue a hobby - I've heard many USCs here say their SO was bored to tears at first - no job, no friends, USC at work all day.... If you want and can, start buying some things related to her hobby, and have them set up for her arrival. If you've been reading the other postings, you already know about things like leaving her some drawers, closet space, etc - and things like having a welcome basket type thing waiting. I remember taking luggage tags with his name and his new US address on them, as well as a key to our home.

Oh - if she attends any type of religious services, it would be good to locate one nearby - she might even be able to do that online (but sometimes lack of familiarity with what cities are close by - or safe - might make that difficult).

She could brush up on her English if necessary. Someone suggested sending a booklet to study for the driver license exam.

I'm sure you could use more 'important' information - like maybe what to do about things like her job, maybe credit cards, bills, mail, insurance, Wills, or whatever other legal things might apply. That's something that I hope others can help with - my husband didn't really have too many things like that, since it just works differently there.

I'm sure there are other considerations if she has children, too. Again, I wish I could help - but I imagine she'd have to make sure to take care of school related things on both ends. Medical records and such?

I guess the best thing is for both of you to brainstorm any and every aspect you can think of - I'm sure there are things that others wouldn't think of that are particular to your situation.

Best of luck to both of you!

venusfire

[Eric-Pris 1,604]

I don't know about what she can do while still there... but I can give you pointers on what to do when she gets here (and even before she gets here).

1. Before she arrives, you should research places that you can take her or she can go where she can meet other Thais. She will need this to stay connected to her culture language.

2. If available, try to order Thai channels on your cable/satellite TV system. You may also be able to find Thai radio channels. Search the internet, there are plenty of sites that offer them. Foreign language TV is one of the most important things that has kept my wife sane after arriving here. It will be a while before she can work, so keeping her busy is the key. Television and radio in their native language is a good way to keep the immigrant connected to their home. Their country is their home, don't think that she will transfer over quickly. The transition is pretty slow to where she accepts the fact that the US is her new home. You need to be supportive.

3. Make sure she can call home to family/friends at any time. This is one of the most important things you can do to make her less homesick. Get a int'l calling package or whatever you need to do. If cost is an issue, there are calling plans, VoIP plans using your internet connection, pre-paid calling cards... many options.

4. After arriving, she should be able to go outside by herself and see things, go to the supermarket, take a bus, visit new friends, etc. You don't want her sitting home all day, just waiting for you to return from work to be able to do anything.

5. Things are probably different in the US from her country. You need to sit down and talk about the differences. It may be different in your hometown, but in NY for example, we don't generally talk to people in the street unless you know them. That's a difference from what my wife was used to. In her hometown, people talk to strangers on the street. You need to explain to her how she needs to act, for safety reasons. Also, make sure you make her feel very secure (safe). That is one thing that my wife was concerned about, if she would be ok. I make sure to repeat that I would never let anything happen to her.

Obviously, it will take some time, but don't let her stay completely dependent on you for too long, she will go crazy. Let her meet people and develop some kind of social network, especially people of her own nationality.