Teenager Issues

[doodlebugg 10]

Instead bust through her bedroom door with a baseball bat, claim that you thought the screams were because she was being attacked

Seriously this whole conversation is making me queasy. My oldest daughter just turned 13 and my youngest just turned 12. God help us all. I bought them both a promise ring kind of and told them whenever they get theirselves into a situation with a boy where they think they might do that look at the ring, think of me and God and how much we love you and want that moment to be special with your HUSBAND. Who knows maybe it won't matter when the time comes but maybe, just maybe they really will look at that ring and think about it.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

I take it a lot of people here didn't have sex when they were in High School? That's a lot of pent up frustration.

I knew lots of happy people who weren't having sex in high school. Including me!!

I concur sister Parivar. Neither did I , and was quite the unfrustrated teenager.

Same here, all my frustration ended up on the pages of Playboy.

Instead bust through her bedroom door with a baseball bat, claim that you thought the screams were because she was being attacked

Seriously this whole conversation is making me queasy. My oldest daughter just turned 13 and my youngest just turned 12. God help us all. I bought them both a promise ring kind of and told them whenever they get theirselves into a situation with a boy where they think they might do that look at the ring, think of me and God and how much we love you and want that moment to be special with your HUSBAND. Who knows maybe it won't matter when the time comes but maybe, just maybe they really will look at that ring and think about it.

That sounds so fvcking hokey.

If I have a child, they will be told not to have sex in my house on threat of beating their fuvcking head in with a baseball bat. That God ish is for the birds.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I take it a lot of people here didn't have sex when they were in High School? That's a lot of pent up frustration.

I knew lots of happy people who weren't having sex in high school. Including me!!

I concur sister Parivar. Neither did I , and was quite the unfrustrated teenager.

Same here, all my frustration ended up on the pages of Playboy.

So are some parents here ok with their teenager masturbating in the house or is that outlawed too?

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

As long as you control the trajectory and clean up your mess ... it should be ok.

[Peikko 1,575]

I take it a lot of people here didn't have sex when they were in High School? That's a lot of pent up frustration.

I knew lots of happy people who weren't having sex in high school. Including me!!

I concur sister Parivar. Neither did I , and was quite the unfrustrated teenager.

Same here, all my frustration ended up on the pages of Playboy.

So are some parents here ok with their teenager masturbating in the house or is that outlawed too?

Masturbating is worse than sex Stephen, did you not know?

There is a difference though. While I am not against teenagers having sex like a prohibition thing, I am not an advocate either. If it has to happen, then it's better it happens with knowledge, but if knowledge can also slow down the need to jump into a sexual relationship I am all for that really. I think I have prudish leanings

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

I take it a lot of people here didn't have sex when they were in High School? That's a lot of pent up frustration.

I knew lots of happy people who weren't having sex in high school. Including me!!

I concur sister Parivar. Neither did I , and was quite the unfrustrated teenager.

Same here, all my frustration ended up on the pages of Playboy.

So are some parents here ok with their teenager masturbating in the house or is that outlawed too?

Masturbating is worse than sex Stephen, did you not know?

There is a difference though. While I am not against teenagers having sex like a prohibition thing, I am not an advocate either. If it has to happen, then it's better it happens with knowledge, but if knowledge can also slow down the need to jump into a sexual relationship I am all for that really. I think I have prudish leanings

Knowledge?

So you want to hear your son scream from the upstairs bedroom, "Not now mom, we're fvcking"?

[Arthur Roberta 1]

Personally she is but 17 and to my mind a child. I tend to agree with you in that I would not be happy with it and if I was in the same position find it very difficult to live with (the daughters behavior). You also have another daughter a 10 year old and of course there will come a time when she may wish to have a similar relationship with one of her future boyfriends.

My main concern would not only be the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy but also the potential for a STD. Then there is also the legal side of things, I do not know if sex with a 17 year old is legal in your state, if not then you are effectively as guilty as the boyfriend in allowing this communion to take place.

I agree sex does happen between minors and that is a fact of life, but there seems to be a certain lack of respect here and for that I am sorry for you. I do not think for one moment you are a prude, you just have certain standards of behavior. I feel sure my wife and I would not allow it as I believe we would be more protective and certainly not agree to allow them to sleep together in the family home.

Forgive me for not reading all the posts but I read enough to make my penneth worth. It is indeed a difficult issue for you and one that only you can resolve. I think I would in your position speak to my wife and explain how you feel about it and that it makes you uncomfortable. Apart from that I would not unduly press the issue as the deed is done and there is no need to upset your own marital harmony, unless of course there are legal issues.

Best wishes

Arthur and Roberta

[Ontarkie 14,175]

Honestly I don't think this girl at 17 really cares that they can hear her i'm sure she knows they can.

Now here is what I think there is nothing you can do, if your wife allows it you will have to put up with it. Unless you can get your wife to put a stop to it.She has to do it not you. You came into that family too late to be able to make rules and expect the girl to follow them. It just wont happen. Your not her father and i'm sure she will let you know if you push her. The only thing you can do is back her mother up. Your wife has to deal with this and you will have to convince you wife its not something you want going on in the house. You may be the step-father someone she should respect but most likely never really listen too not like your own child would. Her mom needs to step up to the plate and get this to stop if its something you dont like. Find the middle groud i'm sure their is one.

I have 4 kids 3 boys and a girl. My oldest 2are 17 & 15 (boys) and no way would that behavior be allowed in my home either but that is my choice and my rules. My hubby who is now their step father has a great relationship with all my kids, but I can see how its different when I ask them to do something vs hubby. The rules have to be enforced by me not hubby, he backs me up but they have to be from me.

But heres something that may be a way to get your point across to your wife call the BF's parents and everyone together all at the table and tell them what is going on and let them know from now on you are going to charge rent from the boy or they can go over to their house. Take off the bedroom door and let her know it need fixing and sand it down and take your sweet time fixing it. You can even decide to repaint her room and now she has to get all her stuff out so you can and she can sleep on the couch or something. You can make it very hard for them to keep that up and make it very clear you dont like it. If you dont want it in the home then its not exeptable and you need her mom to put an end to it. Some how you need to get your wife to understand you and the way you feel about dont let her sweap it under the rug. Its the only way it will end without major affects on you marriage.

Hope I made sense

Danielle

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

Didn't you sort all of this out before you decided to get married? It's a very important topic if the person you're marrying has kids.

I don't think you're being a prude at all but you're in a tough spot due to the fact that your wife is more of a friend than a parent to her kids. Personally in that situation I'd embarass the heck out of them. While they are being loud I'd bang on the bedroom door and loudly ask , "I realize that your mom says it's ok to have sex in the house but could you keep it down?". Then the next morning at breakfast I'd ask, "so how was the sex? how many times did you orgasm? how long does it take?...oh scratch that one I already know since I can hear every single movement you both make."

Each and every time I was around them I'd ask about their sex life. That's just me being a vindictive beatch though. They're putting it out there by doing it next to you so why tip toe around the subject you know?

Letting your kids have sex under your roof does not mean yo are a bad parent or that you want to be your kids bff!!

Besides, it may come accross pervy of the new step dad suddenly starts asking his 17 yr old step daughter about her orgasms over breakfast. I'd avoid that one.

Instead bust through her bedroom door with a baseball bat, claim that you thought the screams were because she was being attacked

Well I guess he could always fight fire with fire and have lots of noisy sex with the wife - see how the daughter likes being forced to listen to that....

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Knowledge?

So you want to hear your son scream from the upstairs bedroom, "Not now mom, we're fvcking"?

[Peikko 1,575]

Knowledge?

So you want to hear your son scream from the upstairs bedroom, "Not now mom, we're fvcking"?

It might be funny but I don't understand it...

How does one get from wanting people to make decisions on their lives based on obtaining correct information lead somehow to the above post?

I suppose knowledge is a proper noun? Even then, I don't get the connection. My brain must be fried

[mr and mrs 187]

omg, damian. this thread.... ugh.

you are a very smart and reasonable guy. you will get it sorted in your own way. : )

[Cecile and Bryan 0]

Well I guess he could always fight fire with fire and have lots of noisy sex with the wife - see how the daughter likes being forced to listen to that....

The more I think about it, the more this idea seems good to me. If I was still a teen living at my parents' house (and if I was allowed to bring boys at night, which didn't happen until I was 18 or 19), I would definitely try to not make a sound while having sex if I knew my parents could hear me as well as I would be able to hear them. So maybe that's what you should do Damian. It won't stop them from having sex at your house but at least it will be a little less obvious when they are having it or not.

Edited April 22, 2009 by Cecile and Bryan

[fozzie 41]

Well I guess he could always fight fire with fire and have lots of noisy sex with the wife - see how the daughter likes being forced to listen to that....

The more I think about it, the more this idea seems good to me. If I was still a teen living at my parents' house (and if I was allowed to bring boys at night, which didn't happen until I was 18 or 19), I would definitely try to not make a sound while having sex if I knew my parents could hear me as well as I would be able to hear them. So maybe that's what you should do Damian. It won't stop them from having sex at your house but at least it will be a little less obvious when they are having it or not.

No, he's a prude. They have quiet sex.

[elkfarmer 4]

I have the solution to your problem. As soon as the young man turns 19 and presuming the daughter has not turned 18, you can get him arrested for statutory rape. You could probably even do it now, since she is 17. Quite frankly, if he is a good kid, be thankful. Because once the law is involved, it will screw the boys life up for 15 to 20 years. Possibly forever. Will become a registered sex offender, the whole bit. But that has to be your call. I know someone this happened to, and he was no more a PERV then anyone. And yes it has cost him, schooling, jobs, an entire future and it is still hanging over him from 15 years ago.