Teenager Issues

[one...two...tree 2,762]

You can't have two parents with two different opinions on it though Len. The one thing you must have is concurrence of parental view if this is a 'parenting' issue. If it's just a matter of manners well, they do whatever they like really.

*edited to add, not you. They*

I agree. And given that she's his stepdaughter and nearly an adult, I think he needs to stay out of it. The only legitimate gripe would be over the noise, but there are tactful ways to let them know they are too loud...or the walls are too thin.

[AlHayatZween 2]

You can have different views (God knows the Brenster and I would not agree on this particular item); but you have to present a common front. Excellent comment sister Cleo.

Yes, you are absolutely right, you need a UNITED FRONT...

that's how kids do it... they divide and conquer...

[Amby 490]

You can have different views (God knows the Brenster and I would not agree on this particular item); but you have to present a common front. Excellent comment sister Cleo.

Yes, you are absolutely right, you need a UNITED FRONT...

that's how kids do it... they divide and conquer...

this is true

[TayRivers 4]

You want respect from her then show her the respect she deserves as a young adult.

When SHE's paying for the roof over MY head, she'll get respect in spades, TayRivers. In the meantime, it's my way or the highway.

Oh btw, do you actually have kids?

Yes thanks I have 2 adult daughters and a adult son, so ys I have been there and done all that. Had one daughter who really did give us great cause for concern, but with us guiding her and us giving her the respect she needed as a young adult we got over the difficult years.

I can tell you one thing you need to know, The attatude you have right now will not help you or your step-children form any sort of relationship.

Teenagers need to be guided in such a way that they feel they are making the choices all by themself, when in reality they are beging guided by a wise parent who respects them as having rights in the family too.

Good luck my friend you will need it.

[Big Papa Zone 93]

i'm surprised you didn't know about this before you married.

It was kept from me until I arrived here a couple of weeks ago. What can I say?

In the wife's defense...you seem pretty open/accepting to things so maybe she didn't think to mention it because it didn't even occur to her it would be a problem. And for you, you're obviously great and love the kids if you're this concerned about them. They're extremely lucky.

Yes. Yes they are. Go me. B)

I must be a perve.

Oh yeah, you so are.

[Peikko 1,575]

You can have different views (God knows the Brenster and I would not agree on this particular item); but you have to present a common front. Excellent comment sister Cleo.

Yes, you are absolutely right, you need a UNITED FRONT...

that's how kids do it... they divide and conquer...

I find it fascinating how they work it out and continue to try this even when it always fails. I can see that if it succeeds, but when it fails time after time after time - they have perseverance

Back to Damian's problem. I think what he needs to do is decide what is the issue here. Is the issue the 'noise' and the lack of 'sex etiquette' going on in the household, or something more serious.

I have to wonder if the mum isn't a bit jealous, if the daughter gets to be raucous in the bedroom and she has to keep it all buttoned up

You can have different views (God knows the Brenster and I would not agree on this particular item); but you have to present a common front. Excellent comment sister Cleo.

Yes, you are absolutely right, you need a UNITED FRONT...

that's how kids do it... they divide and conquer...

this is true

A true officienado of the technique Amby???

[baron555 934]

The girl is 17 and the boy is how old? Is there statutory rape going on?

Parents need to be parents. Do not allow this to happen.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

The girl is 17 and the boy is how old? Is there statutory rape going on?

Parents need to be parents. Do not allow this to happen.

Oh good grief...

[Peikko 1,575]

You can't have two parents with two different opinions on it though Len. The one thing you must have is concurrence of parental view if this is a 'parenting' issue. If it's just a matter of manners well, they do whatever they like really.

*edited to add, not you. They*

You can have different views (God knows the Brenster and I would not agree on this particular item); but you have to present a common front. Excellent comment sister Cleo.

Thanks Len, that is what I meant, I just ###### up my sentence

[Big Papa Zone 93]

1- As others said, find a 'middle ground' with your wife. She is 100% ok with it, you are 100% not ok with it. You need to talk and tell her it is a serious issue for you.

It sure looks that way.

2- You (or the mother) have to tell them to do it more quietly.

Darn tootin'

3- You say the boyfriend is in your house 4 nights every week. Do they both spend the 3 other nights at the guy's parents' house? Or the three other nights they are each in their own house? If the latter is the case, why not tell them you would appreciate if he spent a little less time at your house but that you don't have a problem with your stepdaughter spending time at his house?

And this is one of my main gripes. They both work part-time at night, and that's the only time he's not here - when one or the other are working. And I have already posed the "why don't you spend more time at his house" question, and they are always extremely evasive. Why? Because I reckon his parents share my views and are having none of it, that's why. Hence him always being here.

[Amby 490]

You can have different views (God knows the Brenster and I would not agree on this particular item); but you have to present a common front. Excellent comment sister Cleo.

Yes, you are absolutely right, you need a UNITED FRONT...

that's how kids do it... they divide and conquer...

I find it fascinating how they work it out and continue to try this even when it always fails. I can see that if it succeeds, but when it fails time after time after time - they have perseverance

Back to Damian's problem. I think what he needs to do is decide what is the issue here. Is the issue the 'noise' and the lack of 'sex etiquette' going on in the household, or something more serious.

I have to wonder if the mum isn't a bit jealous, if the daughter gets to be raucous in the bedroom and she has to keep it all buttoned up

You can have different views (God knows the Brenster and I would not agree on this particular item); but you have to present a common front. Excellent comment sister Cleo.

Yes, you are absolutely right, you need a UNITED FRONT...

that's how kids do it... they divide and conquer...

this is true

A true officienado of the technique Amby???

Let's just say I know how to get my way

[Chica Yeyé 41]

You can have different views (God knows the Brenster and I would not agree on this particular item); but you have to present a common front. Excellent comment sister Cleo.

Yes, you are absolutely right, you need a UNITED FRONT...

that's how kids do it... they divide and conquer...

I thought the problem was they were doing it too loudly

sorry, couldn't resist

[AlHayatZween 2]

You can have different views (God knows the Brenster and I would not agree on this particular item); but you have to present a common front. Excellent comment sister Cleo.

Yes, you are absolutely right, you need a UNITED FRONT...

that's how kids do it... they divide and conquer...

I thought the problem was they were doing it too loudly

sorry, couldn't resist

[justashooter 430]

The girl is 17 and the boy is how old? Is there statutory rape going on?

Parents need to be parents. Do not allow this to happen.

Oh good grief...

well, in most states it anything over 2-3 years difference if 1 of the parties is under 18...

[Big Papa Zone 93]

The girl is 17 and the boy is how old? Is there statutory rape going on?

Parents need to be parents. Do not allow this to happen.

Oh good grief...

Good grief indeed. Can I just reiterate that I have NO ISSUE with them having sex, OK? I just don't want them doing it under my roof!! Sorry, just how I am. And he's 18, baron555.