Teenager Issues

[Amby 490]

I told Damian this in a PM, but I had an issue where I had someone stay over when I lived with my aunt & uncle in Los Angeles. I was 18, we had never really discussed rules, my sister was even sleeping in the same room. Nothing happened, but I didn't even think to ask if it was okay because I was used to it being okay. The next morning they flipped out on me. They didn't understand how I could never even think to ask if it was okay. I grew up with it being acceptable, so I never thought it would be unacceptable. They told me the reason wasn't because they didn't trust me, but because they had an 8yr old son who wasn't old enough to understand what was going on. They didn't want him to see that and think that was an okay thing for him to do as well. I completely understood, but never even thought of it until they brought it up. I can see where it could be an issue if you have younger siblings and they could be around it.

[justashooter 430]

If you have managed to get this far in your life without having lived somewhere that has thin walls and have had to hear others having sex then you are very lucky. It is sad that you seem to think that sex and the noise of pleasure should be hidden away where others cant hear anything.

You want respect from her then show her the respect she deserves as a young adult. It is a two way street when you have teenage kids, it all comes down to give and take.

nobody wants to listento anybody else having sex, unless they're a perve.

you want respect from your kids, show them they have to respect you. explain to them that when they pay the bills, they can choose their own lifestyle. until then, it's the "golden rule". he who has the gold makes the rules.

in this case, the gold is being given away, adn the one taking it is making the rules. sounds like a welfare state to me.

[Big Papa Zone 93]

Amby, not having kids does not prevent you or me from having an opinion. If anyone tells you otherwise follow my advise and tell them to ** themselves. Now, back to topic.

I concur with Damian in the "my house, my rules" --- don't like it? Move out. What can I say? This whole "it is ok for teenagers to have sex and they can totally do it in my house" discourse just does not cut it for me. Good thing is: I indeed do not have children so I don't have to deal with this #######.

Oh! Also agree that being a parent has been confused with being a buddy/BFF. Wrong. You can have as healthy relationship with a child; but your responsibility is to parent, not to be best friends.

Peace out.

You know what, Len? You're alright. You also use the word "c**t" freely (on Expats). That means you rule in my book!

[minimule 3]

You want respect from her then show her the respect she deserves as a young adult.

When SHE's paying for the roof over MY head, she'll get respect in spades, TayRivers. In the meantime, it's my way or the highway.

Oh btw, do you actually have kids?

actually do what u want, just dont ask for our opinion, keep pushing her away and have fun

[Amby 490]

If you have managed to get this far in your life without having lived somewhere that has thin walls and have had to hear others having sex then you are very lucky. It is sad that you seem to think that sex and the noise of pleasure should be hidden away where others cant hear anything.

You want respect from her then show her the respect she deserves as a young adult. It is a two way street when you have teenage kids, it all comes down to give and take.

nobody wants to listento anybody else having sex, unless they're a perve.

you want respect from your kids, show them they have to respect you. explain to them that when they pay the bills, they can choose their own lifestyle. until then, it's the "golden rule". he who has the gold makes the rules.

in this case, the gold is being given away, adn the one taking it is making the rules. sounds like a welfare state to me.

I must be a perve. Obviously I wouldn't want to hear someone related to me having sex, but some stranger? That's kinda hot.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

You can't have two parents with two different opinions on it though Len. The one thing you must have is concurrence of parental view if this is a 'parenting' issue. If it's just a matter of manners well, they do whatever they like really.

*edited to add, not you. They*

You can have different views (God knows the Brenster and I would not agree on this particular item); but you have to present a common front. Excellent comment sister Cleo.

[AlHayatZween 2]

D, based on the circumstances, would you be able to just sit down the noisemakers and tell them to keep it down?

It's gonna be hard to change the tone of what the mother has already established over 17 years...

[Big Papa Zone 93]

i'm surprised you didn't know about this before you married.

It was kept from me until I arrived here a couple of weeks ago. What can I say?

[AlHayatZween 2]

I must be a perve. Obviously I wouldn't want to hear someone related to me having sex, but some stranger? That's kinda hot.

Not when it's some big dirty lady in the apartment above you, and you haven't seen you habib in months... and ...

sorry, i digress.

[Big Papa Zone 93]

If it's about manners, do you guys get to have loud sex with the girls listening in?

Absolutely not. And we never will.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

#######, now Cleo has me thinking about communication and whatnot (I hate you, b1tch ) ---- brother Damian, build the common front with your wife, not against her.

If all else fails, videotape and e-bay. KIDDING!!!!!

[Amby 490]

i'm surprised you didn't know about this before you married.

It was kept from me until I arrived here a couple of weeks ago. What can I say?

In the wife's defense...you seem pretty open/accepting to things so maybe she didn't think to mention it because it didn't even occur to her it would be a problem. And for you, you're obviously great and love the kids if you're this concerned about them. They're extremely lucky.

Edited April 22, 2009 by Amby

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I must be a perve. Obviously I wouldn't want to hear someone related to me having sex, but some stranger? That's kinda hot.

Not when it's some big dirty lady in the apartment above you, and you haven't seen you habib in months... and ...

sorry, i digress.

I luvz u sister!!!

[Amby 490]

I must be a perve. Obviously I wouldn't want to hear someone related to me having sex, but some stranger? That's kinda hot.

Not when it's some big dirty lady in the apartment above you, and you haven't seen you habib in months... and ...

sorry, i digress.

I luvz u sister!!!

If I know who it is and they're not that appealing then yes it's a bad bad thing

[Cecile and Bryan 0]

1- As others said, find a 'middle ground' with your wife. She is 100% ok with it, you are 100% not ok with it. You need to talk and tell her it is a serious issue for you.

2- You (or the mother) have to tell them to do it more quietly.

3- You say the boyfriend is in your house 4 nights every week. Do they both spend the 3 other nights at the guy's parents' house? Or the three other nights they are each in their own house? If the latter is the case, why not tell them you would appreciate if he spent a little less time at your house but that you don't have a problem with your stepdaughter spending time at his house?