Teenager Issues

[Ban Hammer 13,206]

At least when they are at your house, you know where they are and that they are safe.

I'd ask them to knock off the noise.

Other than that .......meh.

so you're advocating him sticking something in her mouth to keep her quiet?

[rebeccajo 14]

At least when they are at your house, you know where they are and that they are safe.

I'd ask them to knock off the noise.

Other than that .......meh.

so you're advocating him sticking something in her mouth to keep her quiet?

[SuperDuper! 230]

Walk in on them and say, could you please keep it down. Walk out and be sure to leave the door open. I would definately be having a chat with the boy.

Yes, sit that squirt-sack down and let him know he is totally disrespecting you.

[jundp 191]

I just don't want them doing it under my roof. But therein lies the problem: it's not my roof. It's 'er indoors' roof. And it's 'er indoors' wages that keep us right now. Add the fact that I'm a step-father, and not a biological one (when you marry a woman with kids, you accept that she will hold greater sway of what happens to them than you will) and it puts me in a pretty hopeless position.

So what say you? Am I being "old fashioned" or do I have a point?

Yes, it is your roof. You're married now.

I don't know. I'm a prude too, I guess. I don't find it to be acceptable at all. In fact, my husband's sister (who is 17) is coming to visit with us for a few weeks and bring her boyfriend. They won't be sleeping in the same room together. Not when I have a 10 year old daughter in the house who will see it and think it's ok.

By the way, I know your wife has "greater sway" but I think the step-parent should also have some say in the situation.

That's just my humble opinion

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Viewing sex from strictly a financial point of view, most expensive sex I ever had was from my previous marriage, paid through the nose for those few times. Call me hard headed or whatever, I would be damned if I would let some guy to come over to my home and get free sex with my daughter while I am still supporting her. If he wants it, fine with me, but he first as to be able to support her, can buy a house or rent an apartment, buy her a car, give her health insurance, spending money, food, clothes, pay for her education and free me of all those expenses. Then he can go to town, but not at my expense.

That sounds a little like prostitution, Nick.

[John and Camie 39]

Viewing sex from strictly a financial point of view, most expensive sex I ever had was from my previous marriage, paid through the nose for those few times. Call me hard headed or whatever, I would be damned if I would let some guy to come over to my home and get free sex with my daughter while I am still supporting her. If he wants it, fine with me, but he first as to be able to support her, can buy a house or rent an apartment, buy her a car, give her health insurance, spending money, food, clothes, pay for her education and free me of all those expenses. Then he can go to town, but not at my expense.

For real, though.

[NickD 202]

Viewing sex from strictly a financial point of view, most expensive sex I ever had was from my previous marriage, paid through the nose for those few times. Call me hard headed or whatever, I would be damned if I would let some guy to come over to my home and get free sex with my daughter while I am still supporting her. If he wants it, fine with me, but he first as to be able to support her, can buy a house or rent an apartment, buy her a car, give her health insurance, spending money, food, clothes, pay for her education and free me of all those expenses. Then he can go to town, but not at my expense.

That sounds a little like prostitution, Nick.

Not quite, in my previous marriage, prostitution would have been much cheaper. If you deal with the court system in our country, can get a very negative view, I don't care what it is, patting a woman on the butt, a divorce, an accident, a statement, etc., it's all reduced to how much money the settlement is about, just money, and only money. After raising a bunch of kids, only help I received from our government was to have a slightly lower tax rate, maybe a buck or two a day in tax relief, but certainly nothing compared to the amount of extra money that kid can cost you. I am very offended that I have to pay for kids whose parents cannot buy them health insurance, and we all know you don't have to be a Ph.D. to bring a child into this world. Idiots can do that just as well.

Again, strictly in financial terms, sex does cost a lot of money that translates to having to work very hard for that money. If a guy can't take over that expense with any of my daughters, four of them to be precise, he ain't getting anything unless he can first support them first. Just my hard headed point of view.

On the other side of the coin, that OP's daughter is getting bad reputation as being a two bit #######, you can bet your last buck that guy is bragging to all of his friends. There are very good guys in this world that study and work hard, this step daughter will be avoided by them, who wants to mate with a two bit #######. She is wrecking her life and will never find happiness. It's hell to be a parent, but pays off, I have some very good son-in-laws and some great grandkids. But you have to be a hard nose to get that.

[Cecile and Bryan 0]

On the other side of the coin, that OP's daughter is getting bad reputation as being a two bit #######, you can bet your last buck that guy is bragging to all of his friends. There are very good guys in this world that study and work hard, this step daughter will be avoided by them, who wants to mate with a two bit #######. She is wrecking her life and will never find happiness. It's hell to be a parent, but pays off, I have some very good son-in-laws and some great grandkids. But you have to be a hard nose to get that.

That's a bit harsh. Right now they are in high school, they will be going to college soon, from what Damian said. What makes you think that this guy won't graduate and end up having a good job and will be able to support the girl, or what makes you think that the girl won't have the means to support herself? Yes they are having sex and they are 'only' in high school (which is pretty common these days), but they may stay together their entire life and she will never have to try to get those 'good guys' you are talking about because she already found one of them. Having sex with someone you love when you are 17 doesn't make you a #######.

[Nessa 23]

So Nick, if you have a son and his gf and him want to have sex in your house, you'll want her to get a job, buy him an apartment, a car, etc and then have sex with him someplace else?

[thetreble 19]

I think at 17 I had a boyfriend, but also had a few boyfriends before that. Some more serious than others. I can tell you right now that I was not allowed to see him at least 4 days a week, though, and I couldn't see him that much as I was so busy with school, friends and after school activities that I didn't have the time. I think it's positive for a 17 year old to have a solid relationship, but I wonder if your step-daughter is seeing too much of this guy? In my opinion, once a 16 of 17 year old kid starts dating a person and they get SO heavy, it never turns out good in the end. But that is just my opinion. Some people like to think they are mini-adults but they really aren't.

That being said, I never had sex at my parents house out of pure respect for them and neither did my brothers. We were so worried about what they would think. So, I waited until I left my parents house a few months after I turned 18 and went to university,...and got my groove on there. I would still not have sex in my parents house today with my husband. To me, it's disgusting because I feel it's a private act and they don't need to be a witness to anything whether it's visual or hearing it.

I don't think my parents were old fashioned, I just think from an early age we knew what was acceptable and what was not.

Also, this whole concept where a home is "the family's" home...is that like a modern thing? As long as I lived at my parents house, I lived under their rules. I also had a curfew until I moved out and out of respect, respected it. I think rules and boundaries are good for KIDS. I had a lot of friends that didn't have any and got into a lot of trouble. I think it makes for responsible adults but that is really just my opinion.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

As long as I lived at my parents house, I lived under their rules. I also had a curfew until I moved out and out of respect, respected it. I think rules and boundaries are good for KIDS.

[natty bumppo 289]

As long as I lived at my parents house, I lived under their rules. I also had a curfew until I moved out and out of respect, respected it. I think rules and boundaries are good for KIDS.

rules? what rules? ...

It was called "Mom & Dads Law" .... and breaking that law was not something to be considered.

[tom&tata 2]

As long as I lived at my parents house, I lived under their rules. I also had a curfew until I moved out and out of respect, respected it. I think rules and boundaries are good for KIDS.

That part is so true. That's what my parents told my brother about smoking. You don't smoke inside my house with my money. He did not start smoking until he works part time @ university. And to this day, he does not smoke when he is home visiting (overnight or few hours). It's their house - their rules.

[Big Papa Zone 93]

On the other side of the coin, that OP's daughter is getting bad reputation as being a two bit #######, you can bet your last buck that guy is bragging to all of his friends. There are very good guys in this world that study and work hard, this step daughter will be avoided by them, who wants to mate with a two bit #######. She is wrecking her life and will never find happiness. It's hell to be a parent, but pays off, I have some very good son-in-laws and some great grandkids. But you have to be a hard nose to get that.

Excuse me!!??? My problem is with them doing it in my home, not the fact that they're doing it. The lad is a good'un from a decent family, polite and respectful, and he and my step-daughter are in a totally monogmous relationship.

You are way outta line, fella.

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Viewing sex from strictly a financial point of view, most expensive sex I ever had was from my previous marriage, paid through the nose for those few times. Call me hard headed or whatever, I would be damned if I would let some guy to come over to my home and get free sex with my daughter while I am still supporting her. If he wants it, fine with me, but he first as to be able to support her, can buy a house or rent an apartment, buy her a car, give her health insurance, spending money, food, clothes, pay for her education and free me of all those expenses. Then he can go to town, but not at my expense.

That sounds a little like prostitution, Nick.

Not quite, in my previous marriage, prostitution would have been much cheaper. If you deal with the court system in our country, can get a very negative view, I don't care what it is, patting a woman on the butt, a divorce, an accident, a statement, etc., it's all reduced to how much money the settlement is about, just money, and only money. After raising a bunch of kids, only help I received from our government was to have a slightly lower tax rate, maybe a buck or two a day in tax relief, but certainly nothing compared to the amount of extra money that kid can cost you. I am very offended that I have to pay for kids whose parents cannot buy them health insurance, and we all know you don't have to be a Ph.D. to bring a child into this world. Idiots can do that just as well.

Again, strictly in financial terms, sex does cost a lot of money that translates to having to work very hard for that money. If a guy can't take over that expense with any of my daughters, four of them to be precise, he ain't getting anything unless he can first support them first. Just my hard headed point of view.

On the other side of the coin, that OP's daughter is getting bad reputation as being a two bit #######, you can bet your last buck that guy is bragging to all of his friends. There are very good guys in this world that study and work hard, this step daughter will be avoided by them, who wants to mate with a two bit #######. She is wrecking her life and will never find happiness. It's hell to be a parent, but pays off, I have some very good son-in-laws and some great grandkids. But you have to be a hard nose to get that.

Good Lord, Nick. You've really outdone yourself in the irrelevant, unhelpful, judgmental tangent department.

It seems that you're unaware of the the societal development that women have opportunities for financial independence these days and don't need to be "bought" from their families.