should I be concerned?

[lucyrich 20]

Stupid is bad. No two ways about that one.

Gringo can be offensive or not, depending on the tone. It's not that different than calling someone a "Mexican". That can be said in a tone of voice that makes it offensive, and it can be used in a context that invokes all kinds of stereotypes. Or the word "Mexican" can be a perfectly accurate neutral word, or it can be a very positive word. We use the word "gringo" in our house mostly neutrally, sometimes playfully pointing out cultural differences (he dances merengue like a gringo). It's used the same way we use the word "latino" in our house.

Fat (gordo, gordito, and variations) isn't necessarily offensive, either. In US culture, if one of my co-workers came back from a vacation with a suntan, I might remark "oh, I see you got some sun on your vacation. Did you have fun?". I was a bit shocked to hear friends talking to each other in Venezuela with similar nonchalance about each other's weight gain or loss. We all see people who are heavier or lighter, and we notice people's weight, but in US culture it's mostly taboo to mention it (we might mention weight loss, but not gain). That cultural taboo isn't universal. So it's not necessarily offensive. But again, depending on the tone...

[anitacastillo 0]

It really depends on how and to who it is said.

My brother-in-law is called negrito (little black one) -- which I consider offensive, but it has always been his nickname. People on the street who don't know my husband might say, "moreno(dark one), come here".

My in laws calls each other viejo/vieja (old). I have asked my husband to never refer to me as vieja (I am older and don't want to be reminded).

We usually use "mi amor."

OP - Communicate how you feel.

[mawilson 2,133]

She doesn't dig you. You're a means to an end.

Ouch!

[almaty 19]

She doesn't dig you. You're a means to an end.

Ouch!

i know, brother MA, you wish you had wrote that first...

[alienlovechild 75]

Is it normal in the latina culture to call their partner, fat, stupid, gringo??

Don't know about the cultural context but is this said to you as a joke? Does she say it in front of others? Are you a fat stupid American?

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Stupid is bad. No two ways about that one.

Gringo can be offensive or not, depending on the tone. It's not that different than calling someone a "Mexican". That can be said in a tone of voice that makes it offensive, and it can be used in a context that invokes all kinds of stereotypes. Or the word "Mexican" can be a perfectly accurate neutral word, or it can be a very positive word. We use the word "gringo" in our house mostly neutrally, sometimes playfully pointing out cultural differences (he dances merengue like a gringo). It's used the same way we use the word "latino" in our house.

Fat (gordo, gordito, and variations) isn't necessarily offensive, either. In US culture, if one of my co-workers came back from a vacation with a suntan, I might remark "oh, I see you got some sun on your vacation. Did you have fun?". I was a bit shocked to hear friends talking to each other in Venezuela with similar nonchalance about each other's weight gain or loss. We all see people who are heavier or lighter, and we notice people's weight, but in US culture it's mostly taboo to mention it (we might mention weight loss, but not gain). That cultural taboo isn't universal. So it's not necessarily offensive. But again, depending on the tone...

lucyrich just made a great point. I have heard couples in Mexico refer to each other as "gordo" or "gordito" (fatty, for lack of a better translation) as pet names. I forgot that!

[NickD 203]

My Latin American honey can call me fat, stupid, or gringo, definitely gringo since I do not speak Spanish and by all means a foreigner to her country. See certainly wouldn't call me fat though I outweigh her by some 90 pounds, but also 11" taller and good for stuff like moving furniture and stuff. But she gets upset even when I call myself stupid. And that I did backing up my motorhome as close to the garage door as I could forgetting I have a three foot overhang above. Dented my rain gutter, but I repaired that with a new section. LOL, old section needed replaced anyway, right?

She brought home her bosses notebook computer last weekend for me to look at, a broken pin in the power jack was found. Her boss already called HP to learn she would have to pay a small fortune to replace the mainboard. Said that can be fixed, wife never watched me so intently before, completely disassemble the computer using ESD precautions, entire countertop was loaded with parts and tiny screws, are you sure you can put it together? Sure I said, took it apart didn't I. Then to my lab when she never saw my desoldering tool before to remove the broken jack, said that was dumb, real thick where the power plug plugged in, but paper thin where it attached to the housing. So got a piece of brass and made a new one with my wife watching intently using my micrometer for a precision fit. Made the base much thicker, redrilled the housing for a press fit and also epoxied it in. Put it all back together again, with her eyes on my hands, plugged it in, battery recharged, computer booted up find, and she said I was a genius, actually a very simple job. She watched as I reinstalled every screw, checked the torque and nothing left on the counter, after all, this is her bosses computer. Was with great honor, she returned it to her.

As far as I am concerned, my wife is one in a million and appartently she fills the same way about me, that's the way it should be, that's why we put up with the USCIS for five years and when things didn't go right for us, I was on the phone with them.

Oh, my wife returned the favor for working on her bosses computer, that night.

[^KK^ 3]

Is it normal in the latina culture to call their partner, fat, stupid, gringo?? I'm feeling a little uneasy with all the name calling? Maybe, it's nothing and they're only terms of endearment, but Im just not used to all of it.....maybe, Im a way to sensitive american type.

thanks,

I would be concerned also, I doubt its a cultural thing but even if it was she still needs too take your culture into consideration and being called stupid and fat doesn't fly here.

Okay...I totally love everyone in your signature...looking_up....but that is soooo funnny.

Troy/Anita - THAT IS NOT TERMS THAT SHOULD BE USED TO A LOVE ONE. CHECK HIM RIGHT NOW...IT WILL ONLY LEAD TO OTHER MORE SERIOUS OFFENSES - HITTING...

[Amby 490]

She doesn't dig you. You're a means to an end.

Ouch!

i know, brother MA, you wish you had wrote that first...

I think those things are only mean if you're not fat, stupid, or whatever. If you are...well...make changes.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Your attempts to bait are way too transparent

[Amby 490]

Your attempts to bait are way too transparent

No I was serious. I don't think it's mean if it's the truth.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Your attempts to bait are way too transparent

No I was serious. I don't think it's mean if it's the truth.

You're not doing it right.

[Amby 490]

Your attempts to bait are way too transparent

No I was serious. I don't think it's mean if it's the truth.

You're not doing it right.

I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing?

Oh and whatever I'm supposed to be doing will have to be put on hold because I have to go to class.

Edited April 22, 2009 by Amby

[AlHayatZween 2]

lucyrich just made a great point. I have heard couples in Mexico refer to each other as "gordo" or "gordito" (fatty, for lack of a better translation) as pet names. I forgot that!

once when i was a diva, i had a Dominican bf who used to call me Fea, which i have to admit i did not like so much.

then i called him Puto in front of his friends, and he stopped hanging out with me.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

lucyrich just made a great point. I have heard couples in Mexico refer to each other as "gordo" or "gordito" (fatty, for lack of a better translation) as pet names. I forgot that!

once when i was a diva, i had a Dominican bf who used to call me Fea, which i have to admit i did not like so much.

then i called him Puto in front of his friends, and he stopped hanging out with me.