is good to marry within the first time we meet?

[Staashi 371]

I'm reading the comments about the different treatment between native girls (virgins) and non native (most likely non virgins). You know what grinds my gears? Putting a price and value on how pure or impure a person is. I know it's culture but it still irks the ####### outta. When I married my husband we had a very low key wedding party. The next year-year and a half his sister has an off the chain party that my husband had to save to send money for. Why? Oh because she's a virgin. I get it believe me I get it. But...it doesn't make it an easier pill to swallow. I get it, I'm used goods, message received loud and clear. I always knew it was there but it wasn't until my SIL got married that I felt the awful sting of one hell of a slap in the face. I still have hard feelings about this. I hate that it has changed how I feel about my inlaws who, I thought, were above this bullshite. Culture or not, it still makes one feel inferior. yanno?

I'm just a sharing mofo today aren't I?

Moody, it is sucky what you've been through - but, I believe that what you stated is totally true as I've seen this quite often with my MENA male friends who were here on student visas. When my best friend and I were young we were considered a prize - because we were both American and virgins! They thought they had hit the motherload.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

I'm reading the comments about the different treatment between native girls (virgins) and non native (most likely non virgins). You know what grinds my gears? Putting a price and value on how pure or impure a person is. I know it's culture but it still irks the ####### outta. When I married my husband we had a very low key wedding party. The next year-year and a half his sister has an off the chain party that my husband had to save to send money for. Why? Oh because she's a virgin. I get it believe me I get it. But...it doesn't make it an easier pill to swallow. I get it, I'm used goods, message received loud and clear. I always knew it was there but it wasn't until my SIL got married that I felt the awful sting of one hell of a slap in the face. I still have hard feelings about this. I hate that it has changed how I feel about my inlaws who, I thought, were above this bullshite. Culture or not, it still makes one feel inferior. yanno?

I'm just a sharing mofo today aren't I?

Moody, it is sucky what you've been through - but, I believe that what you stated is totally true as I've seen this quite often with my MENA male friends who were here on student visas. When my best friend and I were young we were considered a prize - because we were both American and virgins! They thought they had hit the motherload.

totally off topic but I absolutely love the name Vittorio

[Kenza 1]

I'm reading the comments about the different treatment between native girls (virgins) and non native (most likely non virgins). You know what grinds my gears? Putting a price and value on how pure or impure a person is. I know it's culture but it still irks the ####### outta. When I married my husband we had a very low key wedding party. The next year-year and a half his sister has an off the chain party that my husband had to save to send money for. Why? Oh because she's a virgin. I get it believe me I get it. But...it doesn't make it an easier pill to swallow. I get it, I'm used goods, message received loud and clear. I always knew it was there but it wasn't until my SIL got married that I felt the awful sting of one hell of a slap in the face. I still have hard feelings about this. I hate that it has changed how I feel about my inlaws who, I thought, were above this bullshite. Culture or not, it still makes one feel inferior. yanno?

I'm just a sharing mofo today aren't I?

Moody, it is sucky what you've been through - but, I believe that what you stated is totally true as I've seen this quite often with my MENA male friends who were here on student visas. When my best friend and I were young we were considered a prize - because we were both American and virgins! They thought they had hit the motherload.

totally off topic but I absolutely love the name Vittorio

haha I said the same thing in her own thread...it just flows and sound italiano! lol

[Staashi 371]

I'm reading the comments about the different treatment between native girls (virgins) and non native (most likely non virgins). You know what grinds my gears? Putting a price and value on how pure or impure a person is. I know it's culture but it still irks the ####### outta. When I married my husband we had a very low key wedding party. The next year-year and a half his sister has an off the chain party that my husband had to save to send money for. Why? Oh because she's a virgin. I get it believe me I get it. But...it doesn't make it an easier pill to swallow. I get it, I'm used goods, message received loud and clear. I always knew it was there but it wasn't until my SIL got married that I felt the awful sting of one hell of a slap in the face. I still have hard feelings about this. I hate that it has changed how I feel about my inlaws who, I thought, were above this bullshite. Culture or not, it still makes one feel inferior. yanno?

I'm just a sharing mofo today aren't I?

Moody, it is sucky what you've been through - but, I believe that what you stated is totally true as I've seen this quite often with my MENA male friends who were here on student visas. When my best friend and I were young we were considered a prize - because we were both American and virgins! They thought they had hit the motherload.

totally off topic but I absolutely love the name Vittorio

Thanks, girl! You, too, Kenza! I appreciate it.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

i wouldnt marry first trip, for no other reason than to give you both the time to know and learn each other. Talking on phone and computer is not the same as spending the hours together and you need all this time you can get to know for sure. Whatever you do dont hurry the situation, i visited, filed and he was denied, i returned then married refiled cr1 and it was accepted. Yes it took awhile and we do have big age difference but by this time we had time invested that the interviewer could see not a hurried marriage with a visa as the prize.

Each person would be different in the (living together) before, our family there accepted it and actually provided us the house so that wasnt the prob for us.

Just take the time for yourself, without thinking visa at the end

[ya falaha! 0]

Thanks for your comment, Staashi.

Your baby is gorgeous! He looks like he belongs in a baby advertisement. I really like his name, too.

I'm reading the comments about the different treatment between native girls (virgins) and non native (most likely non virgins). You know what grinds my gears? Putting a price and value on how pure or impure a person is. I know it's culture but it still irks the ####### outta. When I married my husband we had a very low key wedding party. The next year-year and a half his sister has an off the chain party that my husband had to save to send money for. Why? Oh because she's a virgin. I get it believe me I get it. But...it doesn't make it an easier pill to swallow. I get it, I'm used goods, message received loud and clear. I always knew it was there but it wasn't until my SIL got married that I felt the awful sting of one hell of a slap in the face. I still have hard feelings about this. I hate that it has changed how I feel about my inlaws who, I thought, were above this bullshite. Culture or not, it still makes one feel inferior. yanno?

I'm just a sharing mofo today aren't I?

Moody, it is sucky what you've been through - but, I believe that what you stated is totally true as I've seen this quite often with my MENA male friends who were here on student visas. When my best friend and I were young we were considered a prize - because we were both American and virgins! They thought they had hit the motherload.

[Ihavequestions 419]

hello vj members.......

i was reading some topics about k3 process and especially how its going in consulate of usa in casa (morocco)..and some topics make me so worry and afraid coz i saw there that some cases denied coz of age difference,some coz validity of relationship,other one denied coz the co interviewer did'nt believe a man loves her american woman and she asked him about 50 questions then asked him about the wedding things and why they did'nt make a wedding with presence of family and friends as long as they were married in morocco,and why he did'nt bring photosn of wedding with her wife and family and freinds all together!!!!! and why no one of the family of the american woman didn't came with her to morocco !!! ...i want to know your opinion about all that vj memebs especially that iam wea re planning me and my princess to marrry in october and iam sure you have experiences on that and you can help me coz iam new on that stuff.

i want to let you know that iam 23 years old moroccan and my american princess has just turned 34 years old the day before..so i want to know is that age difference will be a problem for us? we are planning to marry in october and she will come here to me for the first time and spend 3 weeks with me.iam really worry about that wedding stuff and photos with family coz she has only 3 weeks here in morocco and and iam not sure we will have that time to make a big wedding party coz i think we will spend the most of time on the paper work (get her eligibility to marry,certify it in foreign affairs ministry,transalte many documents,......etc). and iam worry if we won't have time to celebrate the wedding party coz you know that special wedding occasion need alot of preparations and invite family, friends to attend the wedding.

plz tell me what should i do to make every thing good and guaranted and have no problems in the future with consulate interviewer. i'm worry some cases was dinied coz of no wedding ,age difference,no photos with family!!!!!!!!!.......etc.

please tell me what should i do me and her exactly coz we are going to marry in october and what if we wont have a time enough for a wedding ?????you replies and advices will be greatly appreciated...

your brother

abdellatif

This is the OP's post that I was talking about. It's in the Off Topic forum.

And maybe I'm still b!tchy today (actually, I'm sure I still am), but come on folks. It's April. "Princess" won't be arriving until October. But some how, some way, he "won't have time" to celebrate the wedding party because of all of the preparations involved. But he's got plenty of time to figure out how to make the lack of a to-do work in front of an Immigration Official.

Meh.

[Ihavequestions 419]

I'm reading the comments about the different treatment between native girls (virgins) and non native (most likely non virgins). You know what grinds my gears? Putting a price and value on how pure or impure a person is. I know it's culture but it still irks the ####### outta. When I married my husband we had a very low key wedding party. The next year-year and a half his sister has an off the chain party that my husband had to save to send money for. Why? Oh because she's a virgin. I get it believe me I get it. But...it doesn't make it an easier pill to swallow. I get it, I'm used goods, message received loud and clear. I always knew it was there but it wasn't until my SIL got married that I felt the awful sting of one hell of a slap in the face. I still have hard feelings about this. I hate that it has changed how I feel about my inlaws who, I thought, were above this bullshite. Culture or not, it still makes one feel inferior. yanno?

I'm just a sharing mofo today aren't I?

I'll be a sharing mofo, too.

Family in attendance for the celebration of our "big day"? Mom and sister. That was IT.

When sister got married my husband bought her furniture.

[vent]

I don't get how it's a-okay to put out with any of the following - ####### sex, oral sex, or actual intercourse followed up by a hymen reconstruction surgery - and still be "virginal."

Really, folks. People living in third world nations, living double lives, and somehow they're a cut above?

I still don't get it.

[/vent]

[ya falaha! 0]

Thank you! Thank you! It's bullshite. Yeah my husband saved up $1000 and sent it for his sister's wedding. $1000 or over $5000LE. Saving and skimping but hey it was him saving it. I wasn't about to contribute after the pathetic excuse for a "wedding" I got. They had cake and soda for our wedding and not a damn person brought gift the first. His sister was engaged since the beginning of time because no one had money then all of a sudden she had to have an off the chain wedding and of course all that gold? I thought you ppl didn't have money. You didn't have money when used goods over here showed up but when the old maid virgin daughter needed to get married all the money rolled in. Nice.

[UmmSqueakster 54]

AbuS used the wedding money he saved to fly here, pay for the AOS and cover other misc expenses that cropped up when moving to the US. Yeah, not so glitzy, but it got us started. And my parents gave us a car instead of paying for a wedding party here. Again, no glitz, but today we can drive to get grocceries rather then shlep them home on the bus, so it's all good from where I sit

MIL is still planning on throwing us a traditional egyptian wedding party one of these years. She even has the venue all picked out and took me there one time, all excited. I just don't know if I want to sit up on a stage in front of a bunch of strangers with white makeup pancaked on my face and arab music videos playing on 20 foot high screens though

[ya falaha! 0]

I have a car, I don't need someone to buy me one. I didn't need a big wedding but don't use the excuse "there's no money" and a year later throw a huge wedding for your daughter but your son and his used up wife get next to nothing. And I don't need a party a few years after the fact. That's garbage. Either do it when the person gets married or forget about it. I hate when ppl pull that shitt. Consolation prizes like that are a slap in the face.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

I have a car, I don't need someone to buy me one. I didn't need a big wedding but don't use the excuse "there's no money" and a year later throw a huge wedding for your daughter but your son and his used up wife get next to nothing.

thats like a punch in the face, not a slap.

Unless the daughters just always get special treatment... does he have a brother that you can compare to? Maybe it wont sting as bad to think maybe the son didnt get it just because he is the son

[ya falaha! 0]

No brother. Now if this is just treatment to him because he's a son then that's awful too but somehow I'm doubting that's it.

The slap in the face comment was meant for the idea of throwing someone a wedding party a few years after the fact. And in my experience, those kinds of promises are hardly ever followed through.

[UmmSqueakster 54]

The slap in the face comment was meant for the idea of throwing someone a wedding party a few years after the fact. And in my experience, those kinds of promises are hardly ever followed through.

Meh, depends on who's making the promise. I didn't want to have a wedding in Egypt before, and she was crushed, so if I don't follow through on this promise, I'll be the one in hot water.

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Also, forgot to add:

It is totally unfair to treat the children differently in terms of weddings (and other things).