Scared

[TruLuv 0]

Ok I am really struggling already at the thought of being seperated for maybe 6 more months We have not even sent anything away yet.. and I am already waking up in the mornings crying! I just dont think I am strong enough to go through this. So I started considering going back to visit before we get it all sent off.. but I am really scared to do that as well because I only just left the US on 18th Feb after being there for 89 days! If I go again in May will they most likely deny me entry? also I was there for 2 weeks in May last year. How many times have people visited before being told its the last time or whatever? has anyone actually been denied? I just dont know how im going to last another 6 months or more withuot seeing them! any advice on how to cope? or if I should go back to visit one last time?

I know exactly how you feel right now. I am going through the same thing. I am hoping to send out my k1 application next week. I have been away from my love for 54 days now and it hurts so much. To think that it will be 6 months plus until he can come here is killing me. I am now planning to go back for another visit before he comes. I haven't decided when because I am out of vacation days until July 1st. I am also trying to hold out as long as I can because I would rather the next time we are apart be shorter than this time, hoping that it won't feel as bad. I am not too worried about being turned away at entry because the last two visits I entered as a tourist. It is very easy to do in Kenya and you can get your visa at the airport when you arrive. This time I think I will be honest about it though and get my visa ahead of time just to be safe.

I wish you good luck

Hang in there and know that you are not the only one waking in tears. I usually got to sleep that way too.

[It's me 1]

Umit has visited me during our K-1 process - no issues coming in through the POE. (she had letter from boss, lease agreement, NOA1/129F Info, Return Ticket).

They just wanted info on the return ticket - gave her 6 months to visit. (Sadly, she could only stay 2 weeks)

Webcams are great - we spend about 10 hours a weekend jabbing at each other. Not to mention emails/messenger.

Waiting sucks - there is no getting around that - but just think of the payoff when your done with the waiting...

I keep myself occupied by building her a walk in closet, painting the rooms the colors she wants, and learning to cook Turkish dishes... (ala Chef)

Hang in there and don't be scared!

I agree with Bobby. Prayer helps too. A LOT OF IT (lol)

[Chelartie 0]

I just dont think I am strong enough to go through this.

I'm not sure about the visiting in the interim process. But, waiting for 6+ months knowing that you'll be together afterwards is a lot better than a relationship of 3-month visits every once in a while. If you want to be together in the long term, what choice do you have? My advice is to stay busy by completing the petition and doing what you need to do to be together. Waiting isnt' fun, but the sooner you get your petition in, the closer you are to being together, the sooner you can feel settled and start building your life. Waiting with a goal in sight is will give you something to look forward to and maybe it'll be more tolerable for you. Best of luck!

[movingsoon1 0]

Miss Becs,

I really feel for you. I think that you should get this process started as soon as you can. Waiting around will just get longer. My fiance and I got engaged in August of last year and we filed immediately and I received my visa in February - so there goes the wait. Time will go quicker than you think.

In the meantime I kept my teaching job and just kept teaching and making money which will be very much needed. You need something to do in the meantime- course work, job whatever just to keep your mind on something else. We both got webcams and we skype - that has helped tremendously. Also, planning a wedding made the time go faster. That way you are working toward a goal.

Last August I was so scared too, I thought how is this going to work out? Our wedding is this May, so soon and my fears have turned into excitement and joy.

Edited April 17, 2009 by movingsoon1

[KimandRuss 0]

There probably aren't many of us who can't relate to you. Being on opposite sides of the globe makes it that much worse. The looooong, loooong plane rides and expense to fly is hard to justify whilst awaiting the process and all the costs involved with it. However, debt seems a small price to pay to be in the arms of the one you love, I know.

I could have paid my mortgage off with the money we've spent travelling back and forth and living together on only one income. We were separated for a year after having lived together for 2. He left a very lucrative position just so he could come spend time with me. It wasn't easy... I wont lie. But in the end you will find that it was worth every step.

Decide the best option for the two of you and get moving! While it seems daunting, and is, it wont be the hardest thing you deal with in your life.

You're already a step ahead just by finding VJ and all of the resources it offers. Get the packet together and send it off...then you're on your way!

[Arabella 4]

I know all too well the feelings being shared. MY Fiance and I met on World of Warcraft. We have been friends for 1.5 years and together since August 2008. We met face to face for a week in Nov. We started the filing first of March 2009. We continue to talk daily, we use Yahoo Messenger with cam and ventrillo for voice and WOW for something to do with each other. I am about to return to Canada in two weeks for another week visit with him and his family. I will admit we are both at a point that the distance is getting harder, we just want to be able to start our lives together and at this point we have no clue when we can. We do the best we can though. That's all anyone can do. I hurt though each morning cause I'm tired of waking up alone and wondering when will he be in this bed when I wake. I know we just started the filing process but like you I don't want to go much longer without him. So I just keep pushing. We talk about our wedding, and a future with my girls. Sometimes I just sit and cry but then we talk and we both keep reminding each other it wont be like this forever. We have to remember. Our hearts can't help who they fall in love with, so no matter at this point what we go through to get them in our arms, the end result makes it worth it.

I miss my fiance like crazy and it makes me seriously depressed (and I am a VERY happy person normally, but this has been so hard on me). We email constantly while we are at work, chat via gmail, send texts, and then when we get home we are on the web cam or playing EverQuest 2 (which is like WoW). We involve each other in all of our day-to-day stuff, so even though we are apart we feel very close.

[gensdad515 2]

I think it was the wait time of the in-between that we had nothing to do that was really bad. When we finally decided to do this we were kept busy, preparing the documents to present. Once that is done and the receipt is received you are left with just the wait. There were times when the days seemed endless. The worst was during the holidays, Thanksgiving / Christmas. Being with the family but not with the one you love. I think what helped us out was that we planned the process to take longer and it actually surprised us when everything started to happen quicker than we had planned. We were planning for it to take 10 months and it took about 8, at the end we were actually not prepared and delayed somethings hahah. Now she is a week away from finally coming, the wait is over we will finally be together.

Our saviour was Messenger, Msn video chat, texting, Facebook, we did all that as much as we could.

I know it's terrible and you feel awful but your time will come. Good luck and Godspeed, Jorge

[destine 0]

Get Skype with the Unlimited World Subscription and a Webcam. Me and Megan both use it at every oppertunity we get, before work, after work and at every spare moment we get! Its definetly not the same as being in person but it make us both happy for the time being (And has done for several years). And I know the feeling I really do, when I was in Alaska last (stayed for 89 days aswell!) I was sobbing for days before I even left and I was really scared to. But just imagine after the long wait what it will feel like when you finally return permanantly!

Also if you're looking for fun activites to do together you should consider playing an online game together! Me and Megan both met playing games together so its definetly a hobby for both of us! A few I would suggest are Counter-Strike, World of Warcraft and Guildwars! Usually when we play we have a Skype convosation opened up so we can talk to eachother all the time and we can chat! We sometimes use Ventrilo to.

Don't be scared, be strong... and look forward to your future. After all, what is 4-8 months when in exchange you will have infinate ammounts of happyness beyond that

http://www.skype.com/allfeatures/subscript.../uscanadaworld/

http://www.steampowered.com

http://www.worldofwarcraft.com

http://www.guildwars.com/

I cant believe you met each other playing warcraft. Just like me and Brad. lol

After almost 2 years talking and getting to know each other I came to the US as a B2 (tourist) to visit him and stay for 6 months. After 3 months he said he wouldnt let me go back to Brazil and asked me to marry him. Fairy Tale huh?

Anyway Im on AOS process but already married and happy with my "hunter" lol

[miss g 1]

dont be scared.. be prepared..

im not trying to scare you or put u off..

firstly, keep busy, keep talking spending time and keep positive.. it will happen.. so be patient.. you wont get denied.. if youre honest and genuine it might take long but as long as you arent doing or havent done anything dodgy in the past you will be fine..

read the net for information, i found it helped when I knew what to expect

be prepared for how it will affect you.. depression is really difficult, from talking to people on here, and experiences, one of you will get cold feet or start to doubt the decision.. its normal, it happens, make sure you visit each other if your can and remind each other why you are doing this..

save.. as much as you can, esp wit the economy... ive lived like a poor student for the last year and a half.. putting all the money i can away.

[Connie&Sascha 1]

Ok I am really struggling already at the thought of being seperated for maybe 6 more months We have not even sent anything away yet.. and I am already waking up in the mornings crying! I just dont think I am strong enough to go through this. So I started considering going back to visit before we get it all sent off.. but I am really scared to do that as well because I only just left the US on 18th Feb after being there for 89 days! If I go again in May will they most likely deny me entry? also I was there for 2 weeks in May last year. How many times have people visited before being told its the last time or whatever? has anyone actually been denied? I just dont know how im going to last another 6 months or more withuot seeing them! any advice on how to cope? or if I should go back to visit one last time?

I doubt that you will have any trouble at POE. Just bring a lease agreement or employment letter showing you have something to go back to just in case any questions arise, which most likely will not. As for the wait, I was devestated at the thought of having to wait 6+ months but after just 2 months of filing the USCIS moved so fast that my fiance just received packet 3 today and should be here early June by my estimates, depending on how soon an interview is set. The USCIS is moving fast these days as you can see on Igor's List, depending of course on if you are using the Califoria vs. Vermont Service Center. If you are in California's district is will most likely go fast.

I would highly recommemd that your fiance file the K-1 as soon as possible to get things rolling along even before you visit. I know the wait is terrible, any lentgh of wait is. I was just in Germany in January and am already going back in 2 weeks, even though he should have his visa and be here in June, because I just can't stand to be away from him any longer. It's hard and it doesn't get easier but I guess you can say that you get accustomed to the waiting. What has helped us get through as others mentioned is using Skype for hours every day.

Best of luck to you!

[mufc10 0]

It was hard for me and my fiance too. But my suggestion is Skype Skype Skype. We talked as much as possible and it lessens the sadness of being separated. Good luck and I'm sure you'll get through.

[Sinergy 3]

Just keep in mind, the wait is long and lonely, but the end is a reward all in itself

[ashenflowers 5]

You've already received from great feedback from people here, so I don't really have too much to add that hasn't already been said. Of course, I also know the heartache of going months without seeing the one you love. My fiancé and I came across this website though, and it has a lot of really cute ideas for long distance couples. http://www.lovingfromadistance.com/

Best of luck to you... and hang in there. It will all be worth it when you are together again.

[MissBecs 0]

Thanks guys I feel so much better already! I think I was just having a bad day! and hearing from other people who know how it feels has been a lot of help

We have decided that I am just going to not worry about visiting until the end! mainly because I don't think saying goodbye again (knowing the wait we will have to go through) will be easy to handle. It was hard enough saying goodbye thinking I would see him again in May! at least I know the next time we see each other.. should be with the visa Of course if things dont go well.. I might consider trying to see him at a much later stage.. but for now.. I will deal with the long wait. Thanks again very much appreciated! and thanks for that website we will have a look! Hopefully if all goes well we will be sending off the petition on Tuesday!

[ashenflowers 5]

Thanks guys I feel so much better already! I think I was just having a bad day! and hearing from other people who know how it feels has been a lot of help

We have decided that I am just going to not worry about visiting until the end! mainly because I don't think saying goodbye again (knowing the wait we will have to go through) will be easy to handle. It was hard enough saying goodbye thinking I would see him again in May! at least I know the next time we see each other.. should be with the visa Of course if things dont go well.. I might consider trying to see him at a much later stage.. but for now.. I will deal with the long wait. Thanks again very much appreciated! and thanks for that website we will have a look! Hopefully if all goes well we will be sending off the petition on Tuesday!

We're hoping to have ours sent off on Tuesday too! lol Maybe we'll both be the lucky ones that get the quick end of the 'average' waiting time