marriage woes after entry into u.s.

[Artegal 1]

dmartmar is kind of direct in his/her comments--but I agree with part of his statement--that is why is the OP not focusing on his friend? His friend is the abuser in this case--why don't he have a talk with his friend instead of posting all his friend's business on the web, and in kind of round-about way he is supporting his friend's wife, whom who knows if he even knows her, or even knows the whole story.

I would say if the OP has concerns then he should confront his friend about it and see if the problem can be resolved. I just enjoy all these one-sided bad relationship stories--when we all know there are two sides to every story.

Also I don't doubt that the IMBRA deal had other motives and so dmartmar may not be so wrong his/her interpretation of what that act is actually meant to accomplish.

[aussiewench 9]

dmartmar is kind of direct in his/her comments--but I agree with part of his statement--that is why is the OP not focusing on his friend? His friend is the abuser in this case--why don't he have a talk with his friend instead of posting all his friend's business on the web, and in kind of round-about way he is supporting his friend's wife, whom who knows if he even knows her, or even knows the whole story.

I would say if the OP has concerns then he should confront his friend about it and see if the problem can be resolved. I just enjoy all these one-sided bad relationship stories--when we all know there are two sides to every story.

Also I don't doubt that the IMBRA deal had other motives and so dmartmar may not be so wrong his/her interpretation of what that act is actually meant to accomplish.

The OP has stated a few times now that it is not his friend so I dont see how confronting his friend could solve anything.

If the IMBRA was about accomplishing dmartmars interpretation then why is it that it is all about the USC.....the USC's convictions, the USC's multiple filing of petitions, the brochures for the foreign fiance's/spouses instructing them on their rights when it comes to abuse and the relevent bodies to contact when such occurs. Its simply wishful thinking on dmartmars part because in his mind the non USC is always the culprit that is after the green card and wrongfully accusing the USC of abuse. The IMBRA is about protecting the non USC from unscrupulous USC's whether they be a fiance, a wife, or a child.

Edited June 28, 2006 by aussiewench

[Imbra2005 0]

This situation is very common and there is one group that is intimately familiar with it and can help (in fact, they helped draft IMBRA).

Have this woman (or you) contact The Tahirih Justice Center: http://www.tahirih.org

Although they are located in Virginia, they can get this woman free help immediately (including immigration help) anywhere in the U.S. This is exactly what they do.

Tahirih Justice Center

6066 Leesburg Pike, Suite 220

Falls Church, VA 22041

Phone: (703) 575-0070

Fax: (703) 575-0069

Email: justice@tahirih.org

From their website:

With a grant from the National Association for Public Interest Law (NAPIL) and funding from Greenberg Traurig LLP, the Center initiated the Battered Immigrant Women Advocacy Project in 2000 to provide holistic legal services and education to battered immigrant women. Through this project, Tahirih helps battered immigrant women self-petition under the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) for legal permanent resident status when they are being abused by a U.S. citizen or permanent resident spouse. This provision prevents abused women from being forced to choose between staying in an abusive relationship and possible deportation. The Tahirih Justice Center is one of only a few Washington, D.C. area advocacy organizations with an attorney who provides full-time assistance to women under VAWA.

Since this program was established in 2000, Tahirih has assisted abused immigrant women and their children secure peace and safety in the United States.

Tahirih clients

The number of calls Tahirih receives requesting assistance has dramatically increased. Where six months ago we received 8-10 weekly calls for assistance, Tahirih now receives 40-50 weekly pleas—a 400% increase. This increased demand for our services is straining our capacity. At least a portion of this increased need is due to the fact that U.S. immigrants are now confronted with ever harsher and restrictive policies. Women are particularly vulnerable because of cultural obstacles, lack of resources, limited English proficiency and ignorance of the U.S. legal system. We fear the anti-immigrant sentiment will not abate in the near future and may, in fact, worsen. Without adequate legal advocacy, they face either extreme forms of violence or certain deportation. In 2004, the Tahirih Justice Center was honored to be the only Virgina-based recipient of 2004 funding from the Violence Against Women Office (VAWO). This means that other organizations that previously were able to help meet the demand for services by immigrant women are no longer funded by VAWO. As a result, Tahirih has become a critical resource and its ability to provide effective social services is even more important.

To maximize access to legal services for battered immigrant women, Tahirih gives presentations at numerous social service organizations about the special rights and needs of abused foreign-born populations. In particular, Tahirih regularly conducts trainings on how existing service groups can remove institutional barriers to better work with persons who have limited English proficiency and on what immigration relief may be available to abused non-citizens.

Through the Battered Immigrant Women Advocacy Project, Tahirih has helped free many women from a life of violence.

Edited June 28, 2006 by Imbra2005

[Artegal 1]

Great information Imbra2005, if this is a real case of abuse hopefully the OP can relay the information to the Nepali woman.

Aussiewench I miss-read I see he is relaying a friend of a friend's wife's, story. Which is as someone has already said is probably too many friends removed from the actual situation to really know what's going on.

I heard these types of stories in Peru when I was dating my wife--she would have friends who knew a friend that had a cousin that was a sister-in-law of a neighbor that got a visa to the USA and the USC turned out to be the worst man in the whole world, etc.

Of course when you push for details and names, dates, exact circumstances, suddenly the accusations just desolve into a unfounded viscious rumor about how Americans are--it doesn't help that the Press always highlights the worst case scenarios--and now we have IMBRA that just basically from the outset assumes that all USC's seeking spousal visas are domestic abusers.

And how IMBRA can be used the way dmartmar is saying to cut down on fraudulent VAMA claims--is that usually the victim will have to show a pattern of violence, a history. So if IMBRA shows the USC from the outset to be clean and clear of any history--then it could be a mechanism to prevent unfounded claims being made.

PS: I have never personally met or know of any USC that has abused his alien spouse. But I know first hand about being abused by the immigrant spouse (my ex-wife, K-1) and I know several other USC's that have been abused by the Immigrant spouse as well.

But no one has shown that USC's that petition for visas are any more likely to be abusive than traditional spouses.

[Yodrak 7]

Artegal,

dmartmar also has an axe to grind, which should be taken into account when considering his posts.

Yodrak

dmartmar is kind of direct in his/her comments--but I agree with part of his statement--......

[Artegal 1]

Yeah I kind of knew he had an axe to grind--and still I see his point. I guess you could say I have a hatchet--not quiet an axe, and no grinder.

[Reba 2]

And how IMBRA can be used the way dmartmar is saying to cut down on fraudulent VAMA claims--is that usually the victim will have to show a pattern of violence, a history. So if IMBRA shows the USC from the outset to be clean and clear of any history--then it could be a mechanism to prevent unfounded claims being made

IMBRA is primarily concerned with USCs who have met their fiancees/wives thru Internation Marriage Brokers (hence the name) and puts the USC thru criminal background checks, similar to those that the potential immigrant already goes thru, to protect the other party. Immigrant applicants have background checks and are denied their visa if they have a criminal record, sometimes without their USC petitioners knowledge. Now there's 2 sides to the coin and the USC has to go thru similar checks to protect the immigrant. There's nothing wrong with that, and if petitioners have nothing to hide, then the only reason they should be upset about it is that it will slow down the process somewhat.

And if a USC has never been married before, never petitioned before, that does not preclude one from abusing his/her future wife/husband. And does not necessarily mean that one is not prone to abusive behavior or perhaps no one has ever reported that behavior. Spousal and date abuse quite often goes unreported.

[lifeisbigger 0]

I am the original poster for this situation.

I would just like to clarify that the situation that is going on is happening with a FRIEND of a FRIEND. I don't even know the couple ...

And, sure, I am hearing the story from my friend who HAS tried to speak with the male USC about the situation, and who HAS been speaking with the immigrant female about the situation.

My friend asked me, as she knew that I've recently gone through a K1 situation myself, if there is anything that can be done re: this situation.

I told her: I'm not sure, but I can ask people on this website.

Thank you for all of your help everybody!!!

[Ohotnik 0]

There really ARE some people out there who are such control freaks that they have to control all aspects of someone else's life... even if they supposedly love them initially. They are sick individuals, and it's precisely this situation that IMBRA was designed to help prevent.

IMBRA was designed to prevent immigration marriage fraud more than anything. Its purpose is to stop immigrants from abusing and/or misusing the Violence Against Women Act.

IMBRA is designed to protect the emigrant woman against the evil AM. I am suspect of the claims of abuse. The IMBRA act will be used by scam artists (women) in foreign countries to gain a green card by claiming abuse at the AM expense. AM are not animals just because they don't want to submit to the greed and servitude demanded by the AW.

[Ohotnik 0]

unfortunately, the relationship between the nepali woman and the USC male has turned sour, as the USC has abused his wife -- both physically and in a general "controlling manner" (lying to her about immigration documents; controlling her friendships, etc; anger issues) and the nepali woman is in somewhat of a bind.

I truly doubt that her USC husband went through everything immigration related so he could use it against his wife.

I'll help, file and do everything for you today b/c I love you, only to use it as blackmail with you tomorrow.

Yeah, because men (or women) have never brought over a foreign fiance(e)/wife/husband and then abused/murdered them.

There really ARE some people out there who are such control freaks that they have to control all aspects of someone else's life... even if they supposedly love them initially. They are sick individuals, and it's precisely this situation that IMBRA was designed to help prevent.

She really does need to get out of his house, and into a shelter. Do not advise her to go to a friend's house, and especially not yours. That will put you and your wife and whoever else would be open hearted enough to take her in into danger. Battered women's shelters have security measures in place in case the abuser decides to tgo "teach her a lesson" and they would have the means and resources to care for her and help her navigate the legalities.

Read the act it is not to protect the AM it is to enable the AM to be abused by fradulent claims of abuse. No prove necessary.

[Jaylen Brit 0]

There really ARE some people out there who are such control freaks that they have to control all aspects of someone else's life... even if they supposedly love them initially. They are sick individuals, and it's precisely this situation that IMBRA was designed to help prevent.

IMBRA was designed to prevent immigration marriage fraud more than anything. Its purpose is to stop immigrants from abusing and/or misusing the Violence Against Women Act.

IMBRA is designed to protect the emigrant woman against the evil AM. I am suspect of the claims of abuse. The IMBRA act will be used by scam artists (women) in foreign countries to gain a green card by claiming abuse at the AM expense. AM are not animals just because they don't want to submit to the greed and servitude demanded by the AW.

[luvaLimey 0]

####### is AM?

[KarenCee 3]

Sounds like Ohotnik is just blowing steam ..... since this person is obviously affected by IMBRA. If you have nothing to hide then why does this law bother you so much?

[luvaLimey 0]

I think I've figured out the code!

AM must mean American Men, and AW must mean American women.

"AM are not animals just because they don't want to submit to the greed and servitude demanded by the AW."

I think this means: American Men beat American Women becuase the women are greedy and demand servitude, when everyone knows it's the woman who has to be the subservient one.

Well, if that's his take on it, no wonder he doesn'tlike IMBRA. Now he wont be able to keep some unlucky girl around as his subservient little slave/power trip.

[Imbra2005 0]

I think I've figured out the code!

AM must mean American Men, and AW must mean American women.

"AM are not animals just because they don't want to submit to the greed and servitude demanded by the AW."

I think this means: American Men beat American Women becuase the women are greedy and demand servitude, when everyone knows it's the woman who has to be the subservient one.

Well, if that's his take on it, no wonder he doesn'tlike IMBRA. Now he wont be able to keep some unlucky girl around as his subservient little slave/power trip.

You're right on the money.