Getting upset

[hargis 0]

Question: The women might be able to answer this better. Me and my wife have been getting

along fine. But recently when we chat she can't stay long and has to go. Then last night when

we were chatting, i asked what she would do that day, and she got upset and said i was trying

to control her and no one owns her, and she felt like she had to give me a report.

What is all of this about?

[nurse1967 287]

Question: The women might be able to answer this better. Me and my wife have been getting

along fine. But recently when we chat she can't stay long and has to go. Then last night when

we were chatting, i asked what she would do that day, and she got upset and said i was trying

to control her and no one owns her, and she felt like she had to give me a report.

What is all of this about?

Well you know her better than we do. But I think this should definately raise some red flags. I would talk to her and tell her she needs to let you know what's up. Good luck!!

[GueraKristina 1]

Do you ALWAYS ask her what she is going to do for the day? if you do, and she just randomly freaked outabout it then, maybe she is tired of it, if it is the first time, maybe you did it at the wrong time, and she thinks that she needs your permission to do anything. I dont know, if she is starting to do alot of the 'well, i cant talk long... i have to do this... i have plans.... im busy......ohh my mom needs me to go do this..... i wnt be home.... sounds like alot of excuses. Maybe she is just busy, but i would catch onto that right away and think that here was either something or somebody else going on with her. Maybe she is having second thoughts, maybe she is feeling like she is being tied down... i dont know if she is realativly young, but she may feel like she is losing something... and it is your fault, and is therefore taking it out on you. i dont know if your married... or what.. but if you are... maybe she is feeling regrets. Talk to her... if she gets mad... andsays your misinterpretting tell her what more can you do since shes not giving you much other alternative.....

[hargis 0]

Question: The women might be able to answer this better. Me and my wife have been getting

along fine. But recently when we chat she can't stay long and has to go. Then last night when

we were chatting, i asked what she would do that day, and she got upset and said i was trying

to control her and no one owns her, and she felt like she had to give me a report.

What is all of this about?

Well you know her better than we do. But I think this should definately raise some red flags. I would talk to her and tell her she needs to let you know what's up. Good luck!!

Hum... thank you.

[Beth/ Paris Heart 2]

Do you ALWAYS ask her what she is going to do for the day? if you do, and she just randomly freaked outabout it then, maybe she is tired of it, if it is the first time, maybe you did it at the wrong time, and she thinks that she needs your permission to do anything. I dont know, if she is starting to do alot of the 'well, i cant talk long... i have to do this... i have plans.... im busy......ohh my mom needs me to go do this..... i wnt be home.... sounds like alot of excuses. Maybe she is just busy, but i would catch onto that right away and think that here was either something or somebody else going on with her. Maybe she is having second thoughts, maybe she is feeling like she is being tied down... i dont know if she is realativly young, but she may feel like she is losing something... and it is your fault, and is therefore taking it out on you. i dont know if your married... or what.. but if you are... maybe she is feeling regrets. Talk to her... if she gets mad... andsays your misinterpretting tell her what more can you do since shes not giving you much other alternative.....

This process can drive anyone crazy, plus having a bad day does not help ither. I know I fly off my broomstick over innocent asked questions, and its only cause this process is mentally hard on a person and on a couple. Feeling of hopelessness set in, and worries if a marriage can hold up to all of this. Just try to be understanding, and loving as always, its probley a phase that will pass.

Best wishes.

[hargis 0]

Do you ALWAYS ask her what she is going to do for the day? if you do, and she just randomly freaked outabout it then, maybe she is tired of it, if it is the first time, maybe you did it at the wrong time, and she thinks that she needs your permission to do anything. I dont know, if she is starting to do alot of the 'well, i cant talk long... i have to do this... i have plans.... im busy......ohh my mom needs me to go do this..... i wnt be home.... sounds like alot of excuses. Maybe she is just busy, but i would catch onto that right away and think that here was either something or somebody else going on with her. Maybe she is having second thoughts, maybe she is feeling like she is being tied down... i dont know if she is realativly young, but she may feel like she is losing something... and it is your fault, and is therefore taking it out on you. i dont know if your married... or what.. but if you are... maybe she is feeling regrets. Talk to her... if she gets mad... andsays your misinterpretting tell her what more can you do since shes not giving you much other alternative.....

i have maybe asked a couple of times, but it is in the way, so will you have a busy day? Or what does your day look like?

It really took me by suprise because we have been doing well for almost two years. And yes we are married.

Do you ALWAYS ask her what she is going to do for the day? if you do, and she just randomly freaked outabout it then, maybe she is tired of it, if it is the first time, maybe you did it at the wrong time, and she thinks that she needs your permission to do anything. I dont know, if she is starting to do alot of the 'well, i cant talk long... i have to do this... i have plans.... im busy......ohh my mom needs me to go do this..... i wnt be home.... sounds like alot of excuses. Maybe she is just busy, but i would catch onto that right away and think that here was either something or somebody else going on with her. Maybe she is having second thoughts, maybe she is feeling like she is being tied down... i dont know if she is realativly young, but she may feel like she is losing something... and it is your fault, and is therefore taking it out on you. i dont know if your married... or what.. but if you are... maybe she is feeling regrets. Talk to her... if she gets mad... andsays your misinterpretting tell her what more can you do since shes not giving you much other alternative.....

This process can drive anyone crazy, plus having a bad day does not help ither. I know I fly off my broomstick over innocent asked questions, and its only cause this process is mentally hard on a person and on a couple. Feeling of hopelessness set in, and worries if a marriage can hold up to all of this. Just try to be understanding, and loving as always, its probley a phase that will pass.

Best wishes.

Thanks for your input.

[john & jean 37]

Question: The women might be able to answer this better. Me and my wife have been getting

along fine. But recently when we chat she can't stay long and has to go. Then last night when

we were chatting, i asked what she would do that day, and she got upset and said i was trying

to control her and no one owns her, and she felt like she had to give me a report.

What is all of this about?

Well you know her better than we do. But I think this should definately raise some red flags. I would talk to her and tell her she needs to let you know what's up. Good luck!!

Hum... thank you.

it could be P M S

[hargis 0]

Question: The women might be able to answer this better. Me and my wife have been getting

along fine. But recently when we chat she can't stay long and has to go. Then last night when

we were chatting, i asked what she would do that day, and she got upset and said i was trying

to control her and no one owns her, and she felt like she had to give me a report.

What is all of this about?

Well you know her better than we do. But I think this should definately raise some red flags. I would talk to her and tell her she needs to let you know what's up. Good luck!!

Hum... thank you.

it could be P M S

Ha ha, maybe. Not sure.

[john & jean 37]

Question: The women might be able to answer this better. Me and my wife have been getting

along fine. But recently when we chat she can't stay long and has to go. Then last night when

we were chatting, i asked what she would do that day, and she got upset and said i was trying

to control her and no one owns her, and she felt like she had to give me a report.

What is all of this about?

Well you know her better than we do. But I think this should definately raise some red flags. I would talk to her and tell her she needs to let you know what's up. Good luck!!

Hum... thank you.

it could be P M S

Ha ha, maybe. Not sure.

special unexpected gifts will cure even the more serious cases of P M S

[scandal 951]

Long distance relationships to the opposite side of the world are not easy.

In our case, it's the reverse. She (in Thailand) would be willing to stay up for all hours of the night to continue chatting/skyping.

I (in the US) enjoy our chats and need the webcam face-time with her. But I prefer to keep to somewhat of a regular schedule, need to wake up daily at 6:15AM etc... so will try to cut it short sometimes. She's not always thrilled with that.

I think.. give each other some space. It's hard to relate that while it's a good time for you to sit back and talk, she may be busy with life's day to day activities and just not feel talkative.

Of course, if there's a pattern of non-enthusiasm, well that would be a whole other story.

[hargis 0]

Question: The women might be able to answer this better. Me and my wife have been getting

along fine. But recently when we chat she can't stay long and has to go. Then last night when

we were chatting, i asked what she would do that day, and she got upset and said i was trying

to control her and no one owns her, and she felt like she had to give me a report.

What is all of this about?

Well you know her better than we do. But I think this should definately raise some red flags. I would talk to her and tell her she needs to let you know what's up. Good luck!!

Hum... thank you.

Then she gets upset because i spent to much money.

it could be P M S

Ha ha, maybe. Not sure.

special unexpected gifts will cure even the more serious cases of P M S

[Brit Abroad 166]

You could start off by explaining that your question stems from a desire to be involved in her daily life rather than to be controlling her movements and censoring her life.

Basically, you are interested in her and what she does. It's natural to be curious about your future spouse! After all, you haven't known each other all your life and are acquainted with the things they like to do, how they do them and how much it means to them.

If she has a problem answering you about what she does, maybe she has a reason to be secretive .... then again, maybe she just isn't used to sharing her life with someone on the the other side of the planet. The only way you'll know is by talking it through with her.

Distance is hard, but it's a precursor of living together on a permanent basis (well, USCIS and I hope so!) is made much easier if you don't discover that one or both of you are very different to the other than you were expecting.

[Shad and Dani 3]

Question: The women might be able to answer this better. Me and my wife have been getting

along fine. But recently when we chat she can't stay long and has to go. Then last night when

we were chatting, i asked what she would do that day, and she got upset and said i was trying

to control her and no one owns her, and she felt like she had to give me a report.

What is all of this about?

What would happen if you were too busy to meet at all? What if you were vague about your day? Pull away from her a bit and see what happens.

[New Beginnings 32]

Question: The women might be able to answer this better. Me and my wife have been getting

along fine. But recently when we chat she can't stay long and has to go. Then last night when

we were chatting, i asked what she would do that day, and she got upset and said i was trying

to control her and no one owns her, and she felt like she had to give me a report.

What is all of this about?

What would happen if you were too busy to meet at all? What if you were vague about your day? Pull away from her a bit and see what happens.

I think this is a really passive aggressive way of dealing with the issue. Be open and honest with your wife and just talk to her about what's going on. This could be, and probably is, a very small issue and you don't want to blow it out of proportion. Tell her how the action made you feel and what the motive was behind it. Ask her what bothered her about it and try to find a happy middle ground where you can still feel involved in her life but she doesn't feel like you're trying to control it.

It sounds like a simple misunderstanding, i'm sure you'll work it out!

[chinese_mutt 11]

Maybe you've been spending too much time on pc talking???

This process is hard, and by all means I would not wish this kind of marriage to anyone I care about. I mean the long distance situation. It is hard to explain to your partner what you're doing all day, everyday, all the time... because it is not the same when you're not together. Try to be patient and understand her need for space. Some people don't like to be in a crowded relationship... or maybe she is just truly busy spending as much time with her family since she may be moving to the US and she knows she'll have little time left with them.

If this problem persist, try to recall what type of relationship did you have at first? Were you always asking her what she's doing? Or did you just enjoy each other's company when you meet each other online? Try also to recall what her parent's relationship is. This may clue you in on the type of relationship that she is used to.

And as one of the commenters here said, a little unexpected present goes a long way. Need not be expensive, maybe a card or a love letter would work on your favor. Bring back the spice in marriage.

Good luck!! I'm sure you and your wife will work things out in no time!