Husband Got Arrested

[^KK^ 3]

I wish you the best.

[rlogan 2,036]

I realize now that it wasn't a misunderstanding or a stupid argument. It was A.B.U.S.E. I looked up the signs for domestic violence and realized that he had done nearly everything quoted. I saw the signs but mistakenly attributed them to cultural differences.

Galvanize in your mind that despite what you went through to get him here, life is far too long to suffer abuse.

Just looking for some good advice from everyone in order to weigh my options and make a sound decision.

Might sound silly, but making sure you eat right, get sleep, a little exercise - take care of your yourself

[anitacastillo 0]

So sorry to read of your situation.

When I divorced my ex-husband (Nigerian immigrant) I was a little worried he would ask me to pay him alimony. I used Nolo Press to assist with a martial separation agrmt (MSA) and gave him $$ incentive to sign it.

I realize that you were not married very long, but those cousins/friends may encourage him to try to get $$ out of you.

Please lean on your friends/family during this tough time!

[venusfire503 54]

You have to make your own decisions, and no one can tell you what to do. I recommend, though, that you find out as much as you can about your options. I would hope there's something you can do to get him deported. If the man is abusing you (esp. just days after getting here), it's ridiculous that you could be responsible for supporting his sorry azz. If you press charges, it might make a difference. I know it sounds cold, but if you don't do something about it now, you'll have a long future of 1 - being worried about what he might do later; 2 - being finally responsible for and maybe put into debt supporting a man who abused you. Someone else probably knows more about this than I do, but I would think that being charged with a felony would at least potentially be grounds for deportation....

I wish you the best of luck. Like someone else said, take good care of yourself (I know, easier said than done).

venusfire

[MrsRowe 2]

Wow Leedah. I don't even know what to say other than sorry.

[MrsRowe 2]

He is legally your husband - but you haven't lived together, had children together, etc... anything that would satisfy a means test to get alimony - and you would be walking a fine line in requesting it, because he could turn around and request it from you - and you signed the affidavit of support for TEN years = In my mind, it's not an avenue worth going down.

He doesn't have to sign anything for you to get the divorce - every state has provisions for divorce where you serve them, and get a judgment whether they appear or not - research your local court, bar associations - many have clinics that will help you with the papers if you can't afford an attorney or do it yourself.

Best of luck to you.

Thanks, I will keep this in mind.

Didn't Leedah get married in his country? Maybe i am mistaken but doesn't she have to go through divorce proceedings in the country they got married in?

[sus 70]

Didn't Leedah get married in his country? Maybe i am mistaken but doesn't she have to go through divorce proceedings in the country they got married in?

No - You can divorce where you live, whether you married there or somewhere else - Each state has different residency requirements for how long you have to live there before you can file for the divorce (one party, not both).

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Yes you can divorce him without him even showing up. If you can locate him you pay a fee to have him served, otherwise you do wht's called notice by publication where you publish it in a newspaper for x weeks and provide proof of publication to the court.

Remember that his GreenCard is CONDITIONAL!!! What is the condition you should ask yourself... Yep, that he's married to a USC (specifically the petitioner)! Once you're divorced he then needs to try to prove that the marriage was bonifide on his part and file to Adjust Status. If he is denied then he is Out of Status and must leave the US.

[taurean 0]

I am stunned to read this Leedah. After all you went through, and now this...I can't imagine. Hopefully as I type this, you are already looking into retaining legal counsel. Legal aid should be able to help depending upon your financial circumstances. I also believe there is recourse when one spouse refuses to be served (or won't sign) divorce papers. The most imporant thing to do is to weigh all of your options, make a descision and above all else take care of yourself. I can understand you wanting to get money re-imbursed, but you need to weigh that desire with getting some distance between the two of you and getting some peace of mind. Best wishes to you.

[Zee Bee 61]

Yes you can divorce him without him even showing up. If you can locate him you pay a fee to have him served, otherwise you do wht's called notice by publication where you publish it in a newspaper for x weeks and provide proof of publication to the court.

Remember that his GreenCard is CONDITIONAL!!! What is the condition you should ask yourself... Yep, that he's married to a USC (specifically the petitioner)! Once you're divorced he then needs to try to prove that the marriage was bonifide on his part and file to Adjust Status. If he is denied then he is Out of Status and must leave the US.

They had been married over 2 years at POE so he will get the 10 year GC.

[Leedah 22]

Yes you can divorce him without him even showing up. If you can locate him you pay a fee to have him served, otherwise you do wht's called notice by publication where you publish it in a newspaper for x weeks and provide proof of publication to the court.

Remember that his GreenCard is CONDITIONAL!!! What is the condition you should ask yourself... Yep, that he's married to a USC (specifically the petitioner)! Once you're divorced he then needs to try to prove that the marriage was bonifide on his part and file to Adjust Status. If he is denied then he is Out of Status and must leave the US.

They had been married over 2 years at POE so he will get the 10 year GC.

Actually it would be technically 2 years in June of this year. We really have been married over 2

years on paper, but we had to do over our marriage license to reflect a different date of June'2007 instead of Dec. 2006. My ex husband lied about divorcing me (i never got the papers and it was 10 years ago) , so I had to come back to the u.s. and divorce him then redo our marriage license 6 months after the fact.

Edited April 22, 2009 by Leedah

[^KK^ 3]

Yes you can divorce him without him even showing up. If you can locate him you pay a fee to have him served, otherwise you do wht's called notice by publication where you publish it in a newspaper for x weeks and provide proof of publication to the court.

Remember that his GreenCard is CONDITIONAL!!! What is the condition you should ask yourself... Yep, that he's married to a USC (specifically the petitioner)! Once you're divorced he then needs to try to prove that the marriage was bonifide on his part and file to Adjust Status. If he is denied then he is Out of Status and must leave the US.

They had been married over 2 years at POE so he will get the 10 year GC.

Actually it would be technically 2 years in June of this year. We really have been married over

years on paper, but we had to do over our marriage license to reflect a different date.

Can you do this?

[Leedah 22]

Evidently so. My husband is here in the U.S. legally.

Anyway, I only filed my "second" marriage license with USCIS so that means they will only recognize the date of less than two years, even though we have been married longer than that. He could have waited in his country and came to the U.S. in June. He would have been given the 10 year visa (IR-1), but he didn't care and wanted to come right away. I explained before he arrived here that he could just wait 2 months more in his country and get his 10 year card and be done with immigration, but he wanted to come anyway.

This is why I always wonder what was his issue. Obviously he could have gotten his 10 year residency at the POE and wouldn't need me for jack and I couldn't say one word, but he chose to come terrorize now instead. lol.

Peace.

Edited April 22, 2009 by Leedah

[rlogan 2,036]

Well I think she means she just filled out a different marriage license. They don't send detectives out to check marriage license data. I married my ex-wife twice actually - once in the state we live in, and once in her parent's state. We kept our first marriage a secret from our families so as not to "ruin" the ceremony for them. So we had two licenses.

Quite a shock to find you were still married I would imagine. You were technically a bigamist, if that's the word.

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

Actually her fidt marriage wasn't real He was not free to marry so legally she was not his wife. At least in the eyes of US law.