Husband Got Arrested

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Thank you all for the support. I really appreciate it.

I am on here reading and simply taking things day by day and taking care of myself.

Well hold your head up sweetie, not all men abuse women and you my dear have been abused. RUN for the hills..he is not worth the ####### in the pot.

you deserve BETTER!!!

Get Real.

Always 3 sides to every story. Her Side, His Side, and the Truth.

What if he arrived here to constant bitching and complaining from her, and he got his belly full of her mouthing.

Then he had to apply a little Sean Connery Corrective Action:

WOW. How sick are you? Don't answer. We already know.

Edited April 16, 2009 by *Len*

[CaptainRubyHeart 1]

TCO, while you may find the OP's situation a joking matter, others do not. Please keep trite comments out of the Major Changes forum. Thank you.

I don't consider Felony Abuse a Joking Matter

I just offered my opinion that there are 3 sides to each story

If I see a weaker person getting hurt, male or female I will take action into my own hands

I don't discrimate if it's male of female I only see Right and Wrong

I will knock someone on their A$$ if they do wrong, Male or Female Don't Matter To Me............

Not to sound rude, but speaking from my own experience of being the near-victim of a violent crime, I can tell you that you have NO IDEA what you're going to do when confronted with a crisis like Leedah's until you're actually in that situation.

Everything happens REALLY fast and you only have a split second to react. Instinct takes over, and people are different. Some freeze in fear, some fight back, some scream, some run away. You don't really know which reaction(s) you're going to have until you're actually there.

I cannot tell you the number of people who came up to me after hearing about my ordeal and told me, "If it was me in that situation, I'd have shot the guy," etc. Every time I hear something like this, I think to myself, "I'll believe it when I see it."

Also, you have no idea how damaging it can be to imply that the violence was somehow Leedah's fault. No, it isn't. Please, try to show some respect for her and for the sobriety of her situation.

[Old Dominion 26]

TCO, while you may find the OP's situation a joking matter, others do not. Please keep trite comments out of the Major Changes forum. Thank you.

I don't consider Felony Abuse a Joking Matter

I just offered my opinion that there are 3 sides to each story

If I see a weaker person getting hurt, male or female I will take action into my own hands

I don't discrimate if it's male of female I only see Right and Wrong

I will knock someone on their A$$ if they do wrong, Male or Female Don't Matter To Me............

Wow. It's nice to know that you don't discrimate about who's #### you will kick. Really great to know that you believe that hitting women is justified. Has your wife felt your wrath yet? Poor kid, having to deal with you on a daily basis.

Texans just love to stir things up....have you ever noticed? Especially after a few brews. Only pit bulls have the attitude that any sort of physical abuse is OK. In the U.S. we aren't authorized to take the law in our own hands...not even in the Lone Star State. Despite what that Governor Perry says, the South will not rise again.

[tallcoolone 102]

TCO, while you may find the OP's situation a joking matter, others do not. Please keep trite comments out of the Major Changes forum. Thank you.

I don't consider Felony Abuse a Joking Matter

I just offered my opinion that there are 3 sides to each story

If I see a weaker person getting hurt, male or female I will take action into my own hands

I don't discrimate if it's male of female I only see Right and Wrong

I will knock someone on their A$$ if they do wrong, Male or Female Don't Matter To Me............

Wow. It's nice to know that you don't discrimate about who's #### you will kick. Really great to know that you believe that hitting women is justified. Has your wife felt your wrath yet? Poor kid, having to deal with you on a daily basis.

Texans just love to stir things up....have you ever noticed? Especially after a few brews. Only pit bulls have the attitude that any sort of physical abuse is OK. In the U.S. we aren't authorized to take the law in our own hands...not even in the Lone Star State. Despite what that Governor Perry says, the South will not rise again.

Many states in USA including Texas allows people to take the law into their own hand.

In Texas you can leaglly car a pistol in your car / home/ place of business without a permit or Concealed Handgun Licenses, and if you happen to kill someone while attempting to break into above listed, By law the criminal nor their family can sue you.

It's called the Castle Law.......

[Old Dominion 26]

TCO, while you may find the OP's situation a joking matter, others do not. Please keep trite comments out of the Major Changes forum. Thank you.

I don't consider Felony Abuse a Joking Matter

I just offered my opinion that there are 3 sides to each story

If I see a weaker person getting hurt, male or female I will take action into my own hands

I don't discrimate if it's male of female I only see Right and Wrong

I will knock someone on their A$$ if they do wrong, Male or Female Don't Matter To Me............

Wow. It's nice to know that you don't discrimate about who's #### you will kick. Really great to know that you believe that hitting women is justified. Has your wife felt your wrath yet? Poor kid, having to deal with you on a daily basis.

Texans just love to stir things up....have you ever noticed? Especially after a few brews. Only pit bulls have the attitude that any sort of physical abuse is OK. In the U.S. we aren't authorized to take the law in our own hands...not even in the Lone Star State. Despite what that Governor Perry says, the South will not rise again.

Many states in USA including Texas allows people to take the law into their own hand.

In Texas you can leaglly car a pistol in your car / home/ place of business without a permit or Concealed Handgun Licenses, and if you happen to kill someone while attempting to break into above listed, By law the criminal nor their family can sue you.

It's called the Castle Law.......

That's Texas for you. Self defense is always justified but shooting to kill because of an annoyance is not.

[PB&JAM 1]

Thank you all for the support. I really appreciate it.

I am on here reading and simply taking things day by day and taking care of myself.

Well hold your head up sweetie, not all men abuse women and you my dear have been abused. RUN for the hills..he is not worth the ####### in the pot.

you deserve BETTER!!!

Get Real.

Always 3 sides to every story. Her Side, His Side, and the Truth.

What if he arrived here to constant bitching and complaining from her, and he got his belly full of her mouthing.

Then he had to apply a little Sean Connery Corrective Action:

WOW. How sick are you? Don't answer. We already know.

seriously!! i honestly feel nauseous reading that!

[miss g 1]

Tallcoolone.. do you need some English/grammar lessons?

I love the "Then he had to apply a little Sean Connery Corrective Action" thats so funny.

spray his pants with oven cleaner or something.. thats what a mate did to their abuser!! oops

[Cham 3]

Tallcoolone.. do you need some English/grammar lessons?

I love the "Then he had to apply a little Sean Connery Corrective Action" thats so funny.

spray his pants with oven cleaner or something.. thats what a mate did to their abuser!! oops

or superglue the dang thing to his leg!

[Leedah 22]

Filing for divorce.

Anyone know what are the best steps are in this case?

Other details....

Husband won't sign anything, won't pay any money towards bills incurred to get him here and won't go back to his country.

He has also moved in with his 1st cousin and changed addresses.

He is out on bond and has conditions to stay away from me with no violent contact. However he is telling me that I can come visit him "whenever I need him". #######??? Also he keeps saying that he doesn't want a divorce and that I am the one that is asking for it. Well, who wouldn't? I realize now that it wasn't a misunderstanding or a stupid argument. It was A.B.U.S.E. I looked up the signs for domestic violence and realized that he had done nearly everything quoted. I saw the signs but mistakenly attributed them to cultural differences.

I had told him to sign the divorce papers I printed off the court website to file, but he refuses. Anyone have any idea why?

It's as if he wants to stay married in order to torture me somehow. He is on a CR-1 visa, so I doubt he has to go anywhere (leave country) for atleast 2 years and he can even work right now (but he's sitting at his cousin house while the cousin works 2 jobs and double shifts (poor man).

I am not looking for anything except him to reimburse me for some expenses I incurred to get him here and I really don't care about notifying immigration ( he is not out of status as he JUST got here) and it is just a waste of time anyway. They will deal with him when they see fit.

I doubt he would become a public charge and he would live off his cousin and family before he went to the government for anything. That is how most African's are anyway. So I am not too concerned about the I-864 I signed.

Just looking for some good advice from everyone in order to weigh my options and make a sound decision.

Peace.

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

Wow such a turn around in events. To go through so much and have it end so quickly. I hope everything works out for you and that he does't end up on public assistance. Take care of yourself first. Legal aide should be able to point you to resources in your area.

[Krikit 1,163]

I am not looking for anything except him to reimburse me for some expenses I incurred to get him here and I really don't care about notifying immigration ( he is not out of status as he JUST got here) and it is just a waste of time anyway. They will deal with him when they see fit.

Consider it the cost of a lesson learned and walk away. I doubt that any court of law will have him reimburse you for an application initiated by a petitioner.

[merijan 0]

Filing for divorce.

Anyone know what are the best steps are in this case?

Other details....

Husband won't sign anything, won't pay any money towards bills incurred to get him here and won't go back to his country.

He has also moved in with his 1st cousin and changed addresses.

He is out on bond and has conditions to stay away from me with no violent contact. However he is telling me that I can come visit him "whenever I need him". #######??? Also he keeps saying that he doesn't want a divorce and that I am the one that is asking for it. Well, who wouldn't? I realize now that it wasn't a misunderstanding or a stupid argument. It was A.B.U.S.E. I looked up the signs for domestic violence and realized that he had done nearly everything quoted. I saw the signs but mistakenly attributed them to cultural differences.

I had told him to sign the divorce papers I printed off the court website to file, but he refuses. Anyone have any idea why?

It's as if he wants to stay married in order to torture me somehow. He is on a CR-1 visa, so I doubt he has to go anywhere (leave country) for atleast 2 years and he can even work right now (but he's sitting at his cousin house while the cousin works 2 jobs and double shifts (poor man).

I am not looking for anything except him to reimburse me for some expenses I incurred to get him here and I really don't care about notifying immigration ( he is not out of status as he JUST got here) and it is just a waste of time anyway. They will deal with him when they see fit.

I doubt he would become a public charge and he would live off his cousin and family before he went to the government for anything. That is how most African's are anyway. So I am not too concerned about the I-864 I signed.

Just looking for some good advice from everyone in order to weigh my options and make a sound decision.

Peace.

NOt sure because each state is different. But I would go and get restraining order and divorce filed in court. Have him served. Here in Calif. you can file it like that. The you will go to court.Keep in touch with the DA and make sure they press charges. If he is convicted he will serve his sentence then Immigration will deal with him.

[Leedah 22]

I am not looking for anything except him to reimburse me for some expenses I incurred to get him here and I really don't care about notifying immigration ( he is not out of status as he JUST got here) and it is just a waste of time anyway. They will deal with him when they see fit.

Consider it the cost of a lesson learned and walk away. I doubt that any court of law will have him reimburse you for an application initiated by a petitioner.

Not wanting the money for the petition application. It would be for rent and travel expenses to attend his last immigration interview. Also since I had to take off work, I am coming out of the hole financially and we had agreed (before his craziness) that he would help with those household expenses. I would think that he would be required to pay that since he is legally my husband. I could be wrong on that.

[sus 70]

He is legally your husband - but you haven't lived together, had children together, etc... anything that would satisfy a means test to get alimony - and you would be walking a fine line in requesting it, because he could turn around and request it from you - and you signed the affidavit of support for TEN years = In my mind, it's not an avenue worth going down.

He doesn't have to sign anything for you to get the divorce - every state has provisions for divorce where you serve them, and get a judgment whether they appear or not - research your local court, bar associations - many have clinics that will help you with the papers if you can't afford an attorney or do it yourself.

Best of luck to you.

[Leedah 22]

He is legally your husband - but you haven't lived together, had children together, etc... anything that would satisfy a means test to get alimony - and you would be walking a fine line in requesting it, because he could turn around and request it from you - and you signed the affidavit of support for TEN years = In my mind, it's not an avenue worth going down.

He doesn't have to sign anything for you to get the divorce - every state has provisions for divorce where you serve them, and get a judgment whether they appear or not - research your local court, bar associations - many have clinics that will help you with the papers if you can't afford an attorney or do it yourself.

Best of luck to you.

Thanks, I will keep this in mind.