Misconceptions and Sterotypes WHAT DO YOU THINK

[M+S 0]

Very true

[iceyspots 0]

I've never been harrassed or had sexual comments spouted at me in Algeria or Tunisia...

Neither have any of Yacine's sisters except for one, the youngest, was hit on by a guy a long time ago.. Yacine straightened him out... lol

[M+S 0]

I've never been harrassed or had sexual comments spouted at me in Algeria or Tunisia...

Neither have any of Yacine's sisters except for one, the youngest, was hit on by a guy a long time ago.. Yacine straightened him out... lol

As I mentioned in my post before most of this harrasment are Verbal ..

[deeshla 0]

There are some things that make me wonder though. I suppose you could call them stereotypes. I wonder why so many Muslim men seek out non-Muslim women. I also wonder why so many favor blondes. I'm an Arab Muslim woman raised in a traditional Arab Muslim family, although I have not been so traditional in my life. We are told that we are not allowed to marry non-Muslim men, and no Muslim man is allowed to marry a woman who is not a chaste Christian or Jew. Yet, you will find few who hold Muslim men to this rule, but nearly all want to hold Muslim women to the rules they make for them. It makes us wonder why our men want to abandon us, but condemn us if we do as they do. It's something to think about.

I dont know if this has been answered. but, really the reason why a "We are told that we are not allowed to marry non-Muslim men, "

is the religion is transfer from MAN to WOMAN. unless the man converts. which is what Brother dean has done. but, a non muslim woman can marry a muslim man. but, at some point she is expected to convert- I think this should never be forced upon anyone! just my 2 cents..

FYI -- a non-Muslim woman is not expected to convert after marriage. She can remain a Christian or Jew until death. Islam is not a religion of coercion and any Muslim who pressures the religion on the spouse should be reminded of that. I am not a Muslim but one thing I love about it is the focus on being a good example for others instead of the aggressive missionizing of other religions.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Well, yes and no. I would say that "expect" is not quite the correct term. They are not to be forced to convert, but, if the Muslim spouse is practicing, there will be an expectation that the non-Muslim spouse will eventually convert. This is especially so if the Muslim husband/non-Muslim wife live in a predominately Muslim country. The husband is seen to be the head of the household, and even in moderate Msulim countries, honor is king. A man who cannot convert his wife is deemed to be an ineffective leader.

I can't tell you how many times I have seen mixed faith couples marry with the intent to allow the wife to remain non-Muslim . . . until children become an issue. Then things really change. One Moroccan friend of mine married a non-Muslim girl a couple of years ago. He drank, smoked, partied and did not pray. Transfer him to the US, and when he doesn't have the trappings of being culturally Muslim, now he prays, has a beard, and refuses to have children with his wife unless and until she converts.

The expectation may be there, only unspoken until . . .

[babybunny 2]

Well, yes and no. I would say that "expect" is not quite the correct term. They are not to be forced to convert, but, if the Muslim spouse is practicing, there will be an expectation that the non-Muslim spouse will eventually convert. This is especially so if the Muslim husband/non-Muslim wife live in a predominately Muslim country. The husband is seen to be the head of the household, and even in moderate Msulim countries, honor is king. A man who cannot convert his wife is deemed to be an ineffective leader.

I can't tell you how many times I have seen mixed faith couples marry with the intent to allow the wife to remain non-Muslim . . . until children become an issue. Then things really change. One Moroccan friend of mine married a non-Muslim girl a couple of years ago. He drank, smoked, partied and did not pray. Transfer him to the US, and when he doesn't have the trappings of being culturally Muslim, now he prays, has a beard, and refuses to have children with his wife unless and until she converts.

The expectation may be there, only unspoken until . . .

I also have a moroccan friend he married a non muslim. He also refuses to have children with her until she converts. He also prays alot.

here is a source to this subject matter.

http://www.islamonline.com/cgi-bin/news_se...?service_id=190

[deeshla 0]

Well, yes and no. I would say that "expect" is not quite the correct term. They are not to be forced to convert, but, if the Muslim spouse is practicing, there will be an expectation that the non-Muslim spouse will eventually convert. This is especially so if the Muslim husband/non-Muslim wife live in a predominately Muslim country. The husband is seen to be the head of the household, and even in moderate Msulim countries, honor is king. A man who cannot convert his wife is deemed to be an ineffective leader.

I can't tell you how many times I have seen mixed faith couples marry with the intent to allow the wife to remain non-Muslim . . . until children become an issue. Then things really change. One Moroccan friend of mine married a non-Muslim girl a couple of years ago. He drank, smoked, partied and did not pray. Transfer him to the US, and when he doesn't have the trappings of being culturally Muslim, now he prays, has a beard, and refuses to have children with his wife unless and until she converts.

The expectation may be there, only unspoken until . . .

My point is that this is not implicit in the religion - pressuring someone or expecting someone to convert after marriage. This goes for a practicing or a non-practicing Muslim. Of course there are a countless examples on all sides but this does not a rule make. It really does depend on the person.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

My point is that it matters little what is implicit in the religion because, you're right, it does depend on the person. The spouse may remain a Christian or Jew until death, but they may also be divorced because of it. BTW, Islam is a proselytizing faith. We do seek reverts through a process called "dawah" and we do have missionaries. Between the three Abrahamic faiths, only Judaism isn't proselytizing.

I apologize in advance if anyone finds my posts to be offensive. It's in me as a Muslim to correct what I see as misconceptions, especially now when Islam and Muslims are either demonized or romanticized. They are not new or exotic to me. If there is anything I have known and loved all of my life it is my religion and my brothers and sisters in faith, be they Muslim, Christian or Jew. I hope for a better understanding between us, insha'allah.

Edited June 30, 2006 by szsz

[deeshla 0]

My point is that it matters little what is implicit in the religion because, you're right, it does depend on the person. The spouse may remain a Christian or Jew until death, but they may also be divorced because of it.

This is exactly what I mean. It would be unfair for someone to think that Islam expects covnersions as the previous post (that I was originally replying to) suggested.

BTW, Islam is a proselytizing faith. We do seek reverts through a process called "dawah" and we do have missionaries. Between the three Abrahamic faiths, only Judaism isn't proselytizing.

I know this. But if you read my post, I say that one thing I like about Islam is that it does not *aggressively missionize* in the way that other religions do. I am saying nothing more or less than just that.

I apologize in advance if anyone finds my posts to be offensive. It's in me as a Muslim to correct what I see as misconceptions, especially now when Islam and Muslims are either demonized or romanticized. They are not new or exotic to me. If there is anything I have known and loved all of my life it is my religion and my brothers and sisters in faith, be they Muslim, Christian or Jew. I hope for a better understanding between us, insha'allah.

As a Muslim you are a wealth of information, but do not forget the scores of other non-Muslims who have lived and worked in Muslim countries and have racked up a little knowledge in the process. We have seen that people have very different experiences -- and it is important to remember that not all Muslims are the same and we cannot assume that all Muslim countries are the same, nor the people in them. In essence, I am just saying allow other people their opinions and viewpoints, too. They are just as valid as yours.

BTW, Islam is a proselytizing faith. We do seek reverts through a process called "dawah" and we do have missionaries. Between the three Abrahamic faiths, only Judaism isn't proselytizing.

I apologize in advance if anyone finds my posts to be offensive. It's in me as a Muslim to correct what I see as misconceptions, especially now when Islam and Muslims are either demonized or romanticized. They are not new or exotic to me. If there is anything I have known and loved all of my life it is my religion and my brothers and sisters in faith, be they Muslim, Christian or Jew. I hope for a better understanding between us, insha'allah.

I know that Islam is a proselytizing religion. But if you read my post, I say that one thing I like about Islam is that it does not *aggressively missionize* in the way that other religions do. I am saying nothing more or less than just that.

As a Muslim you are a wealth of information, but do not forget the scores of other non-Muslims who have lived and worked in Muslim countries and have racked up a little knowledge in the process. We have seen that people have very different experiences -- and it is important to remember that not all Muslims are the same and we cannot assume that all Muslim countries are the same, nor the people in them. In essence, I am just saying allow other people their opinions and viewpoints, too. They are just as valid as yours.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I'm not sure why I need to receive a lecture nearly everytime I post. Are you guys not used to having opinionated Muslims around? It seems to me that the non-Muslim viewpoint is well-represented and that's the position that seems to feel a need to tell me how I should post. There's some stereotyping going on in the weight given to whose sensibilities are more important than others.

Frankly, I'm not a relativist and don't believe that all povs are valid, but if mine is valid, as you say it is, please stop telling me how to respond. I haven't done that to you.

[noura 0]

can't we all just get along? apparently not...

peace everyone... peace

[Karen_L 1]

My question to each of you is...

1. How much does media play in how we see other people's and countries?

2. What misconceptions did you have about your Significant Others country or customs that were so totally wrong? Where did you hear it?

3. What misconceptions did your Significant Other have about the United States?

Salwa said in another Post... "I think the Media is the one of the reason of this big conflict between East and West.....I hope one day ..people like us" who help 2 world mix together" will help both East and West see the true face of each other and get closer and have better ways to communicate."

What do you think?????????????[/b]

i don't usually post in this forum because my fiance' isn't Middle Eastern/North African, but I was just kind of searching around and I thought this was an interesting topic.

I'd say...

1. My fiance' is from Albania. Except for the war in Kosovo, Albania is a country that doesn't receive a lot of media coverage, so I knew next to nothing about it when we first started seeing each other, except that it was formerly Communist and is developing economically. What I DIDN'T know (or forgot since 1999 when most media coverage left Kosovo/Albania) is that most (70%?) of Albanians are Muslim, including my fiance' and his family, with a large Christian minority (of some 30% or so).

2. When I first learned that information, I was expecting there to be lots of religious tension between the different groups in the country. I guess one gets so used to hearing about people (from all over the world) arguing over religion that one comes to expect it. As it turns out, I was DEAD wrong about that, which was wonderful to learn! He and I share MANY religious beliefs and ideas about God and spirituality, even though I was raised Catholic and he was raised Muslim.

3. My fiance's biggest misconceptions about Americans were that all of us a) have s*x with many people and B) are totally free and unattached from our families and c) we're BIG drinkers. Part of these misconceptions come from our own exported movies/TV/music, but part of it was also his observation of how Americans behave in Florence, Italy (i.e. drunken stupors in the street, half-dressed). He was surprised to learn that I RARELY drink liquor and was shocked when he met my mother (like a week after we started seeing each other) and she looked him up and down and when he took my hand, told him "Don't touch my daughter!" lol

- Karen

Edited July 1, 2006 by Karen_L

[Together4ever 1]

My question to each of you is...

1. How much does media play in how we see other people's and countries?

2. What misconceptions did you have about your Significant Others country or customs that were so totally wrong? Where did you hear it?

3. What misconceptions did your Significant Other have about the United States?

Salwa said in another Post... "I think the Media is the one of the reason of this big conflict between East and West.....I hope one day ..people like us" who help 2 world mix together" will help both East and West see the true face of each other and get closer and have better ways to communicate."

What do you think?????????????[/b]

i don't usually post in this forum because my fiance' isn't Middle Eastern/North African, but I was just kind of searching around and I thought this was an interesting topic.

I'd say...

1. My fiance' is from Albania. Except for the war in Kosovo, Albania is a country that doesn't receive a lot of media coverage, so I knew next to nothing about it when we first started seeing each other, except that it was formerly Communist and is developing economically. What I DIDN'T know (or forgot since 1999 when most media coverage left Kosovo/Albania) is that most (70%?) of Albanians are Muslim, including my fiance' and his family, with a large Christian minority (of some 30% or so).

2. When I first learned that information, I was expecting there to be lots of religious tension between the different groups in the country. I guess one gets so used to hearing about people (from all over the world) arguing over religion that one comes to expect it. As it turns out, I was DEAD wrong about that, which was wonderful to learn! He and I share MANY religious beliefs and ideas about God and spirituality, even though I was raised Catholic and he was raised Muslim.

3. My fiance's biggest misconceptions about Americans were that all of us a) have s*x with many people and B) are totally free and unattached from our families and c) we're BIG drinkers. Part of these misconceptions come from our own exported movies/TV/music, but part of it was also his observation of how Americans behave in Florence, Italy (i.e. drunken stupors in the street, half-dressed). He was surprised to learn that I RARELY drink liquor and was shocked when he met my mother (like a week after we started seeing each other) and she looked him up and down and when he took my hand, told him "Don't touch my daughter!" lol

- Karen

This was really informative. Thanks for sharing with us here. I love all these different perspectives. The world really is becoming a global village and regardless of the red tape and bigotry a person can stumble over along the way, it's really enriching and enlightening to share views from all over the world. Thanks, Karen.

[babybunny 2]

I'm not sure why I need to receive a lecture nearly everytime I post. Are you guys not used to having opinionated Muslims around? It seems to me that the non-Muslim viewpoint is well-represented and that's the position that seems to feel a need to tell me how I should post. There's some stereotyping going on in the weight given to whose sensibilities are more important than others.

Frankly, I'm not a relativist and don't believe that all povs are valid, but if mine is valid, as you say it is, please stop telling me how to respond. I haven't done that to you.

post the way you want to. everyone has a right to state their argument.

[a1angied 0]

I am marrying a Muslim man and I was rasied Catholic but consider myself a believe of God. I spoke with Hasan many times about this and he has told me that he loves me for who I am not what my religion maybe.

I was worried that it may cause problems, so I started to educate myself more about Islam. I have found many of the same beliefs and practices. Maybe I am trying to find more of how I can relate then the differencs. I ask him many questions and he is very happy that I am willing to educate myself and have a knowledge of his beliefs. I am very happy with my beliefs and i am more pleased that I am gaining more enlightenment from studying Islam as I have also studied Hindi and other religions.

I think if more people in the world would be more into enducating themselfs before speaking on issues they might not be most knowledgeable about that so much misconceptions would not arise. God to me is God by whatever name in whatever language you wish or chose to call Him. So I believe that there is only one God. So when talking with Hasan he said see honey you are trying to see how we believe in the same things and that is why I love you. I only want to be the best person I can be and not try to conform or anything of that nature.

I am getting ready to leave to Jordan in 18 days, I have been asked so many times if I have seen the movie as many others have, about his beliefs, is he going to kidnap me and keep me there as a sex slave and all kinds of other crazy questions. Am I scared something bad is going to happen to me. I try and explain to the ones questioning me that I have found a man that is human and has so much love for me. Why does it matter where he is from, what color his skin is, what he religon is, as long as he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me and be happy. I could meet someone in my home town that was born in America, is Catholic, christian, or any of the "accepted" religions, and he could kidnap me, take my children or child, sexually abuse me and commint horrible crimes. Oh I forgot that was what my exhusband did to me, but I forgot to mention that he abused me physically also. I usually get a strange look and then they will tell me to just be careful and tehy hope the best for me.

I can only pray to God that more understanding, compassion and knowledge will come.