Misconceptions and Sterotypes WHAT DO YOU THINK

[samers love 0]

We all have perceptions of other cultures that are not quite right. In another topic (moving to jordan) I stated that I have gotten such negative comments from friends about things they have heard about Jordan. All have been untrue and unfounded.

1.My children and I can be sold into the sex trade business. (I just cant even comment on this one...*sigh*)

2. My intended will make me wear a burka. *((fact: while in Jordan for one months time.. we saw 4 women wearing a burka. Half of the women there wore head scarves (mostly loose fitting scarf's non ultra religious) Sam said that the looser were mostly cultural not really religious)

3.If I disobey my husband he will be head me. (I am my own person and for that he is grateful, we have interesting dialogue in which we debate many things. We agree to disagree most of the time as I cannot change his view or he mine. But it is fun!)

4.If I disobey my husband he will make me live there the rest of my life in a room. (Give me unlimited books and cook dinner for me and you have a deal!)

4.Have I seen not without my daughter??? (( yes I have and was horrified..did you see Oprah where that controlling man locked his wife of 16 yrs in their house every day with his children for fear she MIGHT talk to a man? He removed the phone daily and put dressings over the windows so no one could see in or out) DEAR GOD THAT WAS IN THE USA???? We all have extreme cases.)

5. I would be in danger from other governments. ( has anyone seen our President in action? Ok I wont talk politics however the Dixie Chicks Rock!!!)

6. My husband could take other wives. (Not without ever having trouble wanting to pee correctly ever again! LOL seriously... Did you not see 20/20 and the Mormon cult that is in Texas and Utah and still practicing multiple wives? I saw it on TV it has to be true)

On the other hand, I had comments from people who lived in the middle east on the United States. Things I was asked...

1. Can you really buy drugs on every corner?

2. Are there really so many shootings? Am I safe to disagree with someone here without fear of getting shot?

3. Does everyone really own a gun?

4. Do the men in the USA really not support their children? ( thanks to Michigan's finest child support enforcement I now get child support!!!)

5. Do people really have sex with as many partners as on tv ( soaps I think)

6. People in the USA act like Jerry Springer's guests. (Jerry's guests are the minority not the majority!)

7. All Christians follow the pope, believe in Saints, and only pray on Sundays.

We Watch biased new reports on the TV and consider this to be Gods own truth, after all was it not on the television? We see how a gunman shot three people in the street in *fill in other country* yet murders in the United States are so common we don't report them all on the nightly news. At least when I was in Jordan I was able to walk around without fear at night, I cannot say the same thing about where I live now.

I am not saying Jordan is the best place on earth to live. I am an American and love my country. Each place on earth is unique and has it's own lifestyle and people. Don't judge or comment unless you KNOW the facts and can back them up.

My question to each of you is...

1. How much does media play in how we see other people's and countries?

2. What misconceptions did you have about your Significant Others country or customs that were so totally wrong? Where did you hear it?

3. What misconceptions did your Significant Other have about the United States?

Salwa said in another Post... "I think the Media is the one of the reason of this big conflict between East and West.....I hope one day ..people like us" who help 2 world mix together" will help both East and West see the true face of each other and get closer and have better ways to communicate."

What do you think?????????????

[chiquita 0]

I think you wrote an excellent article here~!!

[M+S 0]

Thanks Wendy for starting this Topic because I always wanted to talk about it and DO something about it..

I have seen this conflict all along my life since I was 16 years old that means 10 years ago...

First when I was 16 I met and American young man in the Pyramids and he invited to go out with him for dinner I disagreed and said " Oh no thinsg are not like USA we are totally different" I replied this way because I thought as I used to see in American shows like " the bold and the beautiful" that as he invited me for dinners that means automatically SEX !!!!! I was stupid then I met my Italian friend " she is my best friend now" and you have no idea how strange comments I got from school mates and teachers even my English teacher " like she said " OH NO she is going to affect your way of thinking ,she will turn you christian like her" ...the funny thing is that my Italian friend is not even religious and she has never gone to church .

People in my country thinks that every western Women " not only American women" are cheap easy women and they would sleep with any one any time and that's of course because of the TV !! ..That's why lots of western woman will be harrassed verbally when they get to Visist Egypt ..It's very common problem faces female tourists here in Egypt it's even written in LONELY PLANET book..But still Egypt is one of the safest country in the world and in fact it's not only female tourist get harrassed verbally even Egyptian females because Egyptian society are very "supressed"...

on the other side when My Husband was in his way here to Egypt for the first time he heard lots of warning from coming like how may end up getting kidnapped ..lol I kidnapped him lol

and how people hates American I tried explaining that too much but he never get what Iam talking about till he was already here and I didn't have to talk about it at all ..

peopl in My country and " I was one of them honestly too" thinking that you can get killed very easily in US and it's not safe at all there you may killed at the middle of the day and no one would even care to help you or even get closer to you or even call 911 but you know why people think so because of our TV and people thinks that what they see in American movies are all true ..like we had a Program Egyptian one called "CITY TALK " and this program had many episodes just to make people see how they should be grateful that they are living in Egypt because even if Egypts has horrible defects still we are better than US in many ways like .. People still help each other here " and not in US" which is just a big LIE and many other things but this is a big LIE because people are people anywhere anytime ...there are always good and bad ones whatevere how different was the language and the cultures..

[M+S 0]

I think you wrote an excellent article here~!!

I agree that was Great

[babybunny 2]

We all have perceptions of other cultures that are not quite right. In another topic (moving to jordan) I stated that I have gotten such negative comments from friends about things they have heard about Jordan. All have been untrue and unfounded.

1.My children and I can be sold into the sex trade business. (I just cant even comment on this one...*sigh*)

2. My intended will make me wear a burka. *((fact: while in Jordan for one months time.. we saw 4 women wearing a burka. Half of the women there wore head scarves (mostly loose fitting scarf's non ultra religious) Sam said that the looser were mostly cultural not really religious)

3.If I disobey my husband he will be head me. (I am my own person and for that he is grateful, we have interesting dialogue in which we debate many things. We agree to disagree most of the time as I cannot change his view or he mine. But it is fun!)

4.If I disobey my husband he will make me live there the rest of my life in a room. (Give me unlimited books and cook dinner for me and you have a deal!)

4.Have I seen not without my daughter??? (( yes I have and was horrified..did you see Oprah where that controlling man locked his wife of 16 yrs in their house every day with his children for fear she MIGHT talk to a man? He removed the phone daily and put dressings over the windows so no one could see in or out) DEAR GOD THAT WAS IN THE USA???? We all have extreme cases.)

5. I would be in danger from other governments. ( has anyone seen our President in action? Ok I wont talk politics however the Dixie Chicks Rock!!!)

6. My husband could take other wives. (Not without ever having trouble wanting to pee correctly ever again! LOL seriously... Did you not see 20/20 and the Mormon cult that is in Texas and Utah and still practicing multiple wives? I saw it on TV it has to be true)

On the other hand, I had comments from people who lived in the middle east on the United States. Things I was asked...

1. Can you really buy drugs on every corner?

2. Are there really so many shootings? Am I safe to disagree with someone here without fear of getting shot?

3. Does everyone really own a gun?

4. Do the men in the USA really not support their children? ( thanks to Michigan's finest child support enforcement I now get child support!!!)

5. Do people really have sex with as many partners as on tv ( soaps I think)

6. People in the USA act like Jerry Springer's guests. (Jerry's guests are the minority not the majority!)

7. All Christians follow the pope, believe in Saints, and only pray on Sundays.

We Watch biased new reports on the TV and consider this to be Gods own truth, after all was it not on the television? We see how a gunman shot three people in the street in *fill in other country* yet murders in the United States are so common we don't report them all on the nightly news. At least when I was in Jordan I was able to walk around without fear at night, I cannot say the same thing about where I live now.

I am not saying Jordan is the best place on earth to live. I am an American and love my country. Each place on earth is unique and has it's own lifestyle and people. Don't judge or comment unless you KNOW the facts and can back them up.

My question to each of you is...

1. How much does media play in how we see other people's and countries?

2. What misconceptions did you have about your Significant Others country or customs that were so totally wrong? Where did you hear it?

3. What misconceptions did your Significant Other have about the United States?

Salwa said in another Post... "I think the Media is the one of the reason of this big conflict between East and West.....I hope one day ..people like us" who help 2 world mix together" will help both East and West see the true face of each other and get closer and have better ways to communicate."

What do you think?????????????

its all true I tell ya!

[Aymerlu 3]

OMG! I have heard the "Have you watched Not Without My Daughter" hundreds of times! Our media players so much into this and it is so sad. The last time I was in Egypt I was meeting more of my fiances family. One of his uncles more less refused to talk to me and was making me feel very uncomfortable. After I had been there about 30-45 minutes he started to talk with me more. But the time it was time to leave, he hugged me goodbye and said "Our media is so bad, Americans are lovely people." Their media portrays Americans as being bad and ours does the same with the Middle Eastern countries. Just a lot of ignornat people out there and it's going to take us smart ones to make a difference.

[noura 0]

I couldn't agree w/ you more!!! I am so sick of hearing "Is he Muslim?", then seeing the "click" in their head... and the next question is.... "Is he a fanatic" (ie: terrorist).... I just want to slap the peewine out of folks.... It's like "You're from the south?... You must be a redneck"

Yes, all those questions.... I can't tell you how many times I've been asked if I've seen that freakin' movie! I really couldn't bite my tongue yesterday... I asked someone (in return to the "muslim fanatic" question) if she was a fanatic Catholic (does your priest rape little boys?) I didn't say the last part..... but I wanted to! People are such freakin' idiots.....

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Noura

[Together4ever 1]

Salwa, thank you for your wonderful article. I lived in Egypt almost a year and watched tv with Mohammed a lot. Television plays a big role in both cultures I discovered. We really do tend to be lazy, wanting to believe all we see is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth if its on that box. When I was a child my father used to call it the Idiot Box. He wasn't far off base. I noticed that the American movies aired in Egypt didn't tend to show this country in a very good light. Movies like ConAir, The Fight Club, Dazed and Confused are a few I can think of. They did show some other good movies, but very few showed the "slice of life" that really exists here. On the other hand, I can say that since I've come back to the USA I cringe at the portrayls of people from the ME/NA and the insensitivy of people's water-cooler jokes.

And yes, what Salwa says is true. There are lies being put infront of the people, but it's happening in our country too. This is the gross irresponsibility of it all. Sometimes I wonder if the powers that be truly want peace as badly as us common people do. Sure, you will find a bad apple or two hanging on every tree. That doesn't mean all the apples are rotten. We are all humans. I say a prayer every night that the fear mongering will come to an end and understanding and embracing will begin. This is my dream, this is also Mohammed's dream. We talk about it a lot. We dabbled in song writing while I was with him and we have notes and plans to write some "come together" tunes when gets here and seriously pursue getting them published. (Enshaa Allah)

Hey, by the way... GREAT TOPIC!!!!!

Edited June 24, 2006 by just_waiting

[Sofiyya 1,687]

There are some things that make me wonder though. I suppose you could call them stereotypes. I wonder why so many Muslim men seek out non-Muslim women. I also wonder why so many favor blondes. I'm an Arab Muslim woman raised in a traditional Arab Muslim family, although I have not been so traditional in my life. We are told that we are not allowed to marry non-Muslim men, and no Muslim man is allowed to marry a woman who is not a chaste Christian or Jew. Yet, you will find few who hold Muslim men to this rule, but nearly all want to hold Muslim women to the rules they make for them. It makes us wonder why our men want to abandon us, but condemn us if we do as they do. It's something to think about.

[Tim and Bethanie 1]

Lovely post, Samers. My husband being from England, I still get the stereotyping here in the states. By the way did you know London is the only place in the U.K? Oh and my husband has good teeth, and isn't a rude alcoholic snob.

He and I have discussed how much we knew (or thought we knew) about the others country was solely based on false information we viewed through the media. One good thing, we can at least laugh most of it off now within our own home/family.

B

[AngelK96 0]

Thanks Wendy for starting this Topic because I always wanted to talk about it and DO something about it..

I

on the other side when My Husband was in his way here to Egypt for the first time he heard lots of warning from coming like how may end up getting kidnapped ..lol I kidnapped him lol

Good one Salwa!!

If I could I would have kidnapped my husband and brought him back to the usa with me

In Jordan they see a lot of american tv because most have satellites. The movies they watch are about crime in america. His family was scared because of what they hear from other people that immigrated here also. They thought anyone who works in a convenient store will get robbed and shot and killed which is true in some places. But yes the media here and there affects how people perceive us and how we perceive them.

Angel

[mybackpages 0]

4.Have I seen not without my daughter??? (( yes I have and was horrified..did you see Oprah where that controlling man locked his wife of 16 yrs in their house every day with his children for fear she MIGHT talk to a man? He removed the phone daily and put dressings over the windows so no one could see in or out) DEAR GOD THAT WAS IN THE USA???? We all have extreme cases.)

Funny thing about the film Not without my daughter. Yes it was based on ONE true story, but the people in the film coming to the aid of this American woman were Iranians.

[bornot2b 0]

"Have you watched Not Without My Daughter" My mother is a firm supporter of this statement constantly.

I thought for a minute it was part of the TEN COMMANDMENTS.

[M+S 0]

There are some things that make me wonder though. I suppose you could call them stereotypes. I wonder why so many Muslim men seek out non-Muslim women. I also wonder why so many favor blondes. I'm an Arab Muslim woman raised in a traditional Arab Muslim family, although I have not been so traditional in my life. We are told that we are not allowed to marry non-Muslim men, and no Muslim man is allowed to marry a woman who is not a chaste Christian or Jew. Yet, you will find few who hold Muslim men to this rule, but nearly all want to hold Muslim women to the rules they make for them. It makes us wonder why our men want to abandon us, but condemn us if we do as they do. It's something to think about.

peopl get shocked and surprised whenever they know that Iam married to an American man ..

they have strange comments to me like ,, is it possible for a Egyptian womna to amrry American ??

That question I got in my honesy moon so the questio was too stupid that I never replied that guy !

[M+S 0]

well I wanna tell you another thing that because of this bad image that the media of both sides People in Middle East "Of course people who are being fooled by the media not all of them" didn't feel sorry for 9/11 when it happened because ME media is transfering all the bad side of the US so many people was happy as if it was a Revenge !!!

and Let's look better at the whole image I think If Americans knew better about the other side of the world I doubt that 9/11 would even happen ..

I know that every American was shocked by the fact that there are people who may hate US !!

some said

" oh my god we are good people why this would happen to us" Whichis true ..American in general are very friendly people and they are very helpful generous too but whenever I tell someone that no one believe me ..I get accused in High school that I am very verysupportive to US because I was explaining everything to my teacher object the stupid lies she used to say to the rest of the class that is based on LIES!!!She was thnking US is evil !!!

..But there is a fact all middle eastern people hardly know about it which is ..American hate Politics and before 9/11 most of them never knew what is going on in this "HOT" place of the world that have many conflics !!!

the ignorance of people of both sides of West and East increase that gap between them ,that's why people makes mountains from nothing like Mohammed cartoons people reactions was very very agressive and violent because in thier hidden consious they have the feeling that West hate them and underesteimate them

it's like hidden rage ..

In the same time Ignorance of People and muslims about thier own religion an West,makes it easy for radicals and terrorists since they can easily persaude someone who see how bad is the image about the West EVERYDAY " in the news" get turned against West and USA and feel it's time for revenge.. even though in Islam it is to AGAINT religion and " you go to hell" if you killed anyone even if he never belived in God or he is a jew or christian ..you still go to HELL ..

3 days ago I saw American show Program and she was talking to one of the terrorist he is in jail now and it was shocking what he said ..."All people go to hell but Muslims" he said things That's against Relgion ..

I mean no one can talk about who goes to hell or heaven ..you can never judge anyone ...

I really wanna very much to see some ACTIONS to improve this image between the 2 sides of the world because we need this great cultures to melt together not to fight each other..

Old civilizationa dn the Modern one ..it Can be A GREAT MIX