A Canadian Apology

[ashenflowers 5]

A Canadian Apology

http://www.fsteiger.com/canadian.html

A truly Canadian Apology to the USA... Courtesy of Rick Mercer from This Hour Has 22 Minutes, CBC Television:

On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry. I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron but, it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defence I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours. I'm sorry we burnt down your White House during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.

I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer but, we feel your pain.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you want to have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

[FormelyCA 0]

HAHAH that's good!

I never watch This Hour Has 22 Minutes, but caught about 5 mins (out of the 22) the other day and it was actually really funny!! I should watch it more

[Flames9_RN 358]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8cDRwhgi6Q

[July09Bride 1]

A Canadian Apology

http://www.fsteiger.com/canadian.html

A truly Canadian Apology to the USA... Courtesy of Rick Mercer from This Hour Has 22 Minutes, CBC Television:

On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry. I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron but, it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defence I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours. I'm sorry we burnt down your White House during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.

I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer but, we feel your pain.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you want to have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

Now, now, now... be nice. Remember, you wanna move here!!!

I'm thinking this is the American ranting I was warned about in another thread and this is where I don't take it personally as an American... but, but... I still kinda take it personally - even though I probably shouldn't. Might be funny in some ways, but not so much in some other ways...

[Flames9_RN 358]

Well some of us didn't "wanna" move here! lol This happens all the time. we bytch about it, and someone gets offended, lol

[July09Bride 1]

I was trying to be nice... and I know that those viewpoints are those of Canadians and that it's fun for things like that to be said when you're on the saying side. I'm not bytching... just trying real hard to not take it personally!

[JillA 2]

I was trying to be nice... and I know that those viewpoints are those of Canadians and that it's fun for things like that to be said when you're on the saying side. I'm not bytching... just trying real hard to not take it personally!

Definitely don't take it personally! We're just kidding around, light humour, nothing to be taken too seriously! Just how Americans like to poke fun at us, same thing!

[July09Bride 1]

I was trying to be nice... and I know that those viewpoints are those of Canadians and that it's fun for things like that to be said when you're on the saying side. I'm not bytching... just trying real hard to not take it personally!

Definitely don't take it personally! We're just kidding around, light humour, nothing to be taken too seriously! Just how Americans like to poke fun at us, same thing!

I know, I know... but I'm the kind of person who doesn't like it to happen to me (hence me taking it personally) and I don't do it to others... I've never been fond of the bad Canadian jokes. I gotta get some of that "tough skin" the fiance's always telling me about!!! Oyyyyy.... lol

[BermyCat 1]

Watch the youtube video of it. You'll see he manages to poke fun of Canadians in it just as much as Americans.

~ Catherine

[Mephys 2]

I think it's hilarious

Ok from a Canadian point of view, but eh, it's not MY fault if we burned down the White house in 1812...I wasn't there

Ok hubby doesn't think it's funny, although he agrees the beer sucks

[ashenflowers 5]

huh.. funny, the website I got it from said it was from Rick Mercer, but the video is NOT Rick Mercer! It's Colin Mochrie.... both guys are REALLY funny Canadians.... lol Just wanted to point that out to anyone who didn't know Credit where credit is due!

Also, July... please don't take it personally. We just make fun of Americans to get over our inferiority complex

LOL

[trailmix 77]

huh.. funny, the website I got it from said it was from Rick Mercer, but the video is NOT Rick Mercer! It's Colin Mochrie.... both guys are REALLY funny Canadians.... lol Just wanted to point that out to anyone who didn't know Credit where credit is due!

Also, July... please don't take it personally. We just make fun of Americans to get over our inferiority complex

LOL

[Emancipation 2]

Ahhhh soooo funny.. thanks for the early morning laugh..

LOVED the point about Hitler.. Zing!!!!!!!

And July .. realize that it's the CDN way to make fun of everyone & every thing.. no one is exempt.. mostly we make fun of ourselves.. that's the CDN way.. we like to laugh through things that are difficult and times that are rocky..

[beans 7]

lol So I showed Jeremy this last night and then it caused a little argument which then turned into a quiz of how many European countries I can name...lol We're both too patriotic for our own good.

[chadlaure 2]

July09Bride I am with you!

Here is an article that the US wrote for Canada. Don't take it personally ...

The truth is, Canada, America isn't into you

It's not personal but niceness doesn't cut it in the land of the free and home of the brave.

A big ol' howdy and bonjour Canada! How are you?

We know, we know, it's been a while. Sorry about that.

We have been, per usual, rather self-absorbed lately, what with our historic elections and our economy in freefall. But, hey, good news. Did you hear? We're coming to visit.

We'll be in Ottawa on the 19th. Hope you can make it. We hear mid-February is a lovely time of year there.

Look, Canada, before you get your hopes up about this trip, there's something we need to tell you. We're not sure how to put this so we will be brutally direct, as is our way. We're just not that into you.

There, we said it. We feel better already.

You've always been there for us, Canada: after the Sept. 11 attacks and now in Afghanistan. We appreciate that, really we do. But still, we're just not that into you.

It's not personal, really. It's geopolitical. You're just too ... nice. Nice doesn't get our attention. Threatening gets our attention, and you, Canada, are anything but threatening, except on the hockey rink, of course, but we don't take hockey all that seriously.

If you really wanted us to notice, you should have gotten all gussied up in that Taepodong outfit (it worked for North Korea) or maybe flashed some weapons of mass destruction – real or imagined, it's all the same to us.

Let's face it. We've been bickering a lot lately – over Afghanistan and NAFTA and that silly softwood dispute. Plus you think we hog all the water, which we probably do.

We admit we've been avoiding you lately. But can you blame us? Your loonie is loony. Up one day, down the next, then up again. We've got plenty of that yo-yo action right here on Wall Street. We don't need to go north for it.

Also, many of us Americans – especially those in their 20s and 30s – tell surveyors they find Canada a "boring" place to visit.

I know, I know, how can a country with both Cirque du Soleil and Don Cherry possibly be described as boring? What can I say, Canada? Our amusement threshold is very high.

So is our capacity for selfishness. Our pending "Buy American" campaign hurts you. We feel your pain, Canada, really we do, but we've got to look out for Number 1. And we all know who Number 1 is.

Perhaps what we have here is a classic failure to communicate. The fact is, we don't know you Canada. And no wonder: American newspapers no longer maintain bureaus in Canada.

Not that we paid much attention when they did. Most of us couldn't name your prime minister or, for that matter, your capital city. Is this kind of ignorance any basis for a relationship?

If we know you Canada (and we've already determined we don't) you're probably blaming yourself. You always do. Unlike us, you're so modest and self-effacing. It's endearing.

Remember that joke you like to tell us? How do you get 50 Canadians to leave a swimming pool? By making an announcement: Will all the Canadians please leave the pool. See, you find that funny. We don't get it. That's why, Canada, it's best we go our separate ways.

I know what you're thinking: You can change, America. You've elected a new president, one who is all about change and re-engagement with the world.

Don't believe it, Canada. Nations, like people, don't change easily. We're been around for more than 200 years. We're a bit stuck in our ways.

No, Canada, we're just not that into you and probably never will be. Don't fret, though. You're better off without us. We were very much into Iraq (still are) and look how that turned out.

Besides, Canada, you're too good for us anyway.

The truth is we envy you, though of course we never admit that to anyone, not even ourselves. We envy your health-care system. We envy your prudent, sober banks. We envy your restraint on the international stage. We envy your very happiness. We envy everything about you. Except your weather, of course. Nobody envies that.

So, chin up. We can still be friends. After all, you are so close; we're practically neighbours.

Yes, we're still friends – and best trading partners for life too! And you will continue to send us your best comedians, won't you?

Hey, let's do coffee sometime. We'll call you.

Eric Weiner

Edited April 11, 2009 by chadlaure