Wedding Details

[KnJ 0]

<snip>

Best thing might be to keep getting support and fortitude from this understanding group

This post makes alot of sense to me, and I feel the same way about alot of parts of it.

It made me feel a little better

Aw I'm glad at 32, I'm really working on being assertive with my family, and while i can acknowledge that they don't want me to move so far away, actually 9 hours drive isnt that far, and honestly? it's what's healthy for me at this point in my life. They'll get used to it. Plenty of people leave their families and move thousands of KMs away or overseas, in a whole other +10GMT timezone.. parents survive. We grow.

I agree with U&W about us being grownups.

I think it gets complicated when who is paying for what comes into it.. but imo if i had to choose between mommy getting her way with the flowers because she's paying for them, or cheaper flowers or NO flowers? I'll choose no flowers, thanks. If she's gifting money to me for a wedding, that's different. If it's conditional on her making sure I wear the dress SHE wants me to wear? keep it. I'll go to kensington market and get a thrift dress that works for me.

(i'm kind of a non-traditional hippie, though. your mileage may vary)

[ashenflowers 5]

My parental situation is a bit interesting, because my fiance is an only child, and my brother, my only sibling was married overseas (before we even MET his wife), so we were not able to attend his wedding. So this is sort of the ONLY wedding that our 'immediate family', i.e. parents... will be involved with. My brother, sister in law, niece and nephew can't come to the ceremony since they're in Cambodia and it's too far, so it's just us and our parents. I think I've mentioned that...

ANYWAYS... despite that, my parents are still taking more or less a back seat, and are very much the 'if you're happy we're happy' type, which is great.n They pretty much just want to help me move and show up. LOL I'm sure they'd like to be involved, and they are in small ways (my mom's coming with me to a bridal show this weekend, for example)... My future in laws are sort of like 'if you're happy we're happy', but also are the ones IN the area that we're getting married in, thus consider themselves experts on all the good spots, and are excited, and want to be involved and giving us ideas, and this and that and OMG I haven't even ASKED for any help from them. lol It's hard enough having our wedding turn into this immigration fiasco, but I can't even plan it myself really.

I'm sorry... I really need to stop ranting... but I've been really feeling negative and depressed about this whole thing lately.

In a nutshell, KnJ and Udella&Wiz both had some great words of wisdom in there. Parents will still love their sons and daughters if they move away, and won't let a little thing like this get in the way of their relationship with their children. It's easier to say that from outside of the situation though. Just remind your parents that you'll still always love them too, no matter how far you move, or how much of a headache they give you

Edited September 24, 2009 by ashenflowers

[Hugglebuggles 60]

But now I just feel like I'm planning a huge wedding in a small scale. I didn't want to do that!

I said the same thing!! In the end I planned a huge wedding on a small scale, and it was mostly all my fault because I realized that's what I actually wanted 38 people and I had 2 hummer limos, as an example... Yeah, I don't know. I wasn't willing to compromise on lot of things, so we ended up combining everyone's opinions into one event... And it was a really good way to make everyone happy. What I wanted+what my husband wanted+what my parents wanted+what his parents wanted... so instead of going without, we just added things. Open bar to appease my parents, rehearsal dinner to appease his, decorations from both American grandmas, bridesmaid dresses were picked out individually, transportation to and from the hotels for my dad, and a limo just for him and I on the way to the reception for his dad, etc. I guess its possible easier when your guest list is so small, but my point is that, even though the day is about you and what you want, its also important to include your family, because the day is almost as important to them as it is to you... they just have a very bad way of expressing it.

On a side note, Isn't it funny how we are all grown up enough to move half way across North America to marry a person we've never lived with (in most cases) on a leap of faith, but we are all terrified to stand up to our parents and their demands? Good luck to you guys! I'm sure it will all work out.

[Rhiannercakes 14]

On a side note, Isn't it funny how we are all grown up enough to move half way across North America to marry a person we've never lived with (in most cases) on a leap of faith, but we are all terrified to stand up to our parents and their demands? Good luck to you guys! I'm sure it will all work out.

Yes, it is quite funny actually.

I can't stand up to my parents at all, they're so scary.

They're used to raising a child who was disobedient in every way, who verbally abused them and constantly got in trouble with the law. (My brother).

So I must be a piece of cake to deal with when I'm being "Disobedient" when it comes to wedding plans.

Maybe I just shouldn't think about it anymore and just totally ignore my parents

Though, if I do end up doing that and we just end up planning our own ceremony and my parents dont really show up... my fiance's family is going to look at me weird.

Man, I'd just prefer no ceremony at all but my fiance wants one.

This is so irritating and I haven't even looked at a single thing relating to weddings, except that dress I want.

[ashenflowers 5]

I found a 'package' online that includes a photographer, videographer, officiant and florist for only $775.... sounds awesome right? Considering our ceremony is just us 6, we don't want to splurge.... no. The photographer will only be there for one hour, and we only get 50 shots, the officiant would only let us 'semi' customize our ceremony... as in select from a little of prewritten vows, rather than write our own, and the flowers would HAVE to be roses all in one colour.... I DON'T want roses... they're fine for other people, but I don't don't don't want them.... lol If we want the photographer there for another hour we'd have to pay $125 for 30 portraits/posed family shots.... and if we want a fully customizable ceremony we'd have to pay $100... and there isn't even an option to get a flower other than roses... @!$%)(*!^&$~!!!!!

Like, it just seems SILLY to spend $1000+ on a ceremony for the 6 of us... but I want GOOD photos, and we both want to write our own vows, and I don't want a bouquet I'll hate... UGH. I guess keep looking.

[Hugglebuggles 60]

Ashen, to me, that sounds like a good deal! I paid $500 just for my officiant... you'll find that they are way more expensive then you want them to be (at least here). Weddings are expensive no matter how you do them! Its a huge industry that is focused around getting every dollar out of you that they can get. $500 for the officiant, $500 for the site (yes, for rights to get married on a piece of grass in a public park), $100 for chairs (even though I already paid them $500 to be there...)... so that's over $1000, before I even talk about my dress, decorations, flowers, photography and transportation. Argh.

On the other hand, I always wanted roses! I love them. I don't think I ever posted a picture:

[Starburst 4]

Hi Guys!

Now that I'm done my AOS stuff I want to come join in Wedding planning!!!

We are throwing a big wedding next June 19th in Toronto!

We are getting married at The Toronto Argonaut Rowing Club downtown Toronto, right on lake ontario!!!

I've hired my catering, photographer, Dh, officiant, hair/makeup girl & found my dress!

I just finished creating my save the dates - can't wait to mail them out!!!

I'll post some more stuff soon, I just wanted to introduce myself

- /

[Peachey 10]

I personally didn't want roses, but those are beautiful

My bouquet is a cascading bouquet with gerberas and snap dragon.

Welcome to the club Starburst!

[JillA 2]

Hi Guys!

Now that I'm done my AOS stuff I want to come join in Wedding planning!!!

We are throwing a big wedding next June 19th in Toronto!

We are getting married at The Toronto Argonaut Rowing Club downtown Toronto, right on lake ontario!!!

I've hired my catering, photographer, Dh, officiant, hair/makeup girl & found my dress!

I just finished creating my save the dates - can't wait to mail them out!!!

I'll post some more stuff soon, I just wanted to introduce myself

- /

Yay welcome to the wedding planning club! Your plans sound great

[SapphireDreams 71]

Hi Guys!

Now that I'm done my AOS stuff I want to come join in Wedding planning!!!

We are throwing a big wedding next June 19th in Toronto!

We are getting married at The Toronto Argonaut Rowing Club downtown Toronto, right on lake ontario!!!

I've hired my catering, photographer, Dh, officiant, hair/makeup girl & found my dress!

I just finished creating my save the dates - can't wait to mail them out!!!

I'll post some more stuff soon, I just wanted to introduce myself

- /

Great venue!

Love the roses Huggles. I want my bouquet to be mixed with orchids, calla lillies OR if I can get them and not spend a fortune, i want Ranunculus and white poppies...

Today is exactly 1 year until our wedding date! I need to get going on my save the dates!

[Udella&Wiz 325]

Ashen, to me, that sounds like a good deal! I paid $500 just for my officiant... you'll find that they are way more expensive then you want them to be (at least here). Weddings are expensive no matter how you do them! Its a huge industry that is focused around getting every dollar out of you that they can get. $500 for the officiant, $500 for the site (yes, for rights to get married on a piece of grass in a public park), $100 for chairs (even though I already paid them $500 to be there...)... so that's over $1000, before I even talk about my dress, decorations, flowers, photography and transportation. Argh.

On the other hand, I always wanted roses! I love them. I don't think I ever posted a picture:

That is a gorgeous bouquet - I didn't have one myself

[Rhiannercakes 14]

As per flowers, I'm thinking hydrangeas.

They're pretty.

[Danu 19]

That is an amazingly awesome bouquet. I was thinking roses as well, and I love the shape of that!

[Hugglebuggles 60]

Thanks! My florist was great. I just told her I wanted roses and let her go with it. I don't know anything about flowers, and my flower budget was pretty cheapo... It just wasn't a big priority for me and it can get expensive really quick! She did a great job. She even made me a throw bouquet for free.

[JillA 2]

I haven't even thought of what I want for flowers/my bouquet.... I'm not very picky when it comes to flowers, just something pretty