Wedding Details

[Hugglebuggles 60]

Sorry about your crappy experience Ashen! But think of it this way... January is still a long time away, it really is. This is your first time shopping, and just with 1 friend, so naturally its going to be hard to make a decision when you're just getting your feet wet. Some shops make you order your dress in advance, but a lot of places also sell their floor models right off the rack, and places like David's Bridal for example have enough selection in different sizes that you can just walk out with it. I bought my dress at David's Bridal and I could have walked out with it that day if I really wanted. It fit perfectly and needed no alterations, aside from the bustle and a little sleeve adjustment.

Its weird to say, but a dress is like a prospective husband... when you find "the one" you really just know! I almost bought a dress I liked, but didn't love, then I found the one I'll be wearing on my wedding day and it was game over. It was just perfect for me and I knew it. What kind of deposit did you put on that other dress? Is it small enough that you could walk away if you really want? Also, dress stores get new stock in constantly, so maybe you should just go on your vacation, try not to worry about it then try on some other things when you get back. You might have a fresh perspective.

In the meantime, why not try some places while you're visiting your fiance in the US? I ended up doing this because a. there is more selection, b. things are cheaper and c. I wouldn't need to worry about shipping the darn thing down for the wedding. I went with his mom and grandmother and although I was sad my mom couldn't be there, I took some pictures and showed her before I made my final decision. If it was me and I was really unhappy with the dress I picked and the other dresses at that store, I'd just walk away and cut my loses. I know that weddings are expensive and staying in a budget is important, but if you're unhappy with the way you look then... well that's not cool at all!

Good luck! Have some fun on your vacation. Looking at reception sites was a fun experience for me, so hopefully things go well!

[ashenflowers 5]

Sorry about your crappy experience Ashen! But think of it this way... January is still a long time away, it really is. This is your first time shopping, and just with 1 friend, so naturally its going to be hard to make a decision when you're just getting your feet wet. Some shops make you order your dress in advance, but a lot of places also sell their floor models right off the rack, and places like David's Bridal for example have enough selection in different sizes that you can just walk out with it. I bought my dress at David's Bridal and I could have walked out with it that day if I really wanted. It fit perfectly and needed no alterations, aside from the bustle and a little sleeve adjustment.

Its weird to say, but a dress is like a prospective husband... when you find "the one" you really just know! I almost bought a dress I liked, but didn't love, then I found the one I'll be wearing on my wedding day and it was game over. It was just perfect for me and I knew it. What kind of deposit did you put on that other dress? Is it small enough that you could walk away if you really want? Also, dress stores get new stock in constantly, so maybe you should just go on your vacation, try not to worry about it then try on some other things when you get back. You might have a fresh perspective.

In the meantime, why not try some places while you're visiting your fiance in the US? I ended up doing this because a. there is more selection, b. things are cheaper and c. I wouldn't need to worry about shipping the darn thing down for the wedding. I went with his mom and grandmother and although I was sad my mom couldn't be there, I took some pictures and showed her before I made my final decision. If it was me and I was really unhappy with the dress I picked and the other dresses at that store, I'd just walk away and cut my loses. I know that weddings are expensive and staying in a budget is important, but if you're unhappy with the way you look then... well that's not cool at all!

Good luck! Have some fun on your vacation. Looking at reception sites was a fun experience for me, so hopefully things go well!

There isn't a David's Bridal in London unfortunately, so I'd have to trek to Toronto. It's only about 2 hours, but that just makes a huge ordeal out of it, plus it adds the cost of paying for gas, and paying for food while there, etc. The dress I put the deposit on was a floor model off the rack. Unfortunately, I do not have a body that is 'fit' (no pun intended) for something to work without alteration... But the other floor ones are the ones I think I will go back and have a look at, because I'm sure they will have different ones later. I will go there with my mom next time I think. When i'm on vacation, I'll be completely alone there, other than my fiance. His parents will be out of town. I don't know anyone else in the area, except his boss. lol Plus, I'd have to store it down there at his parents house, and he'd see it. blah.

The problem was that I didn't want to spend more than $300 on the dress... we only have about $6000 to spend on this wedding... seriously So going over budget is a HUGE deal, cause it's so hard already... I'm spending twice as much on this dress than I wanted to... and it's the cheap one!! The deposit is only $100, which isn't a lot, but... it is to me. Unfortunately the REALLY cheap, simple dresses that just kinda hang there, like the one I saw online, look like #######. The reception sites are a bit frustrating so far. I think just because my fiance is not here with me, and because I want something outside, but also don't want to be forced to choose from a specific catered menu, so it's been hard to find a nice match.

Anyways... thanks for the tips. I'm just really frustrated, and this whole wedding planning thing has been completely ###### so far, so I'm getting really discouraged, and haven't really been getting any support from my fiance, which sucks

Edited July 26, 2009 by ashenflowers

[Rhiannercakes 14]

I found my wedding dress in the weirdest way without even shopping.

I was sitting around at the place I got my engagement ring waiting for the polishing to get done and was looking through a bridal magazine.

I stumbled upon a company called "Alfred Angelo". They have a whole line that lets you have colours on your wedding dress, so I decided to check it out.

Ended up falling in love with this one wedding dress, and it even helped me pick my wedding colours, haha.

It's not even really "pricy" by dress standards. The site doesn't give an exact price, but it's under 600.

My parents were iffy about the price, since they're paying for it, but I think they fell in love with it too when I showed it to them.

Here's the link: Wedding Dress

Check out the back view, that's why I fell in love with it. And I chose the colour "Espresso".

I did like a different one, but it ended up being 2000 dollars, no thanks.

[TimandJoyce 1]

Here's the link: Wedding Dress

Very pretty!!

My dress is not traditional at all. I found a pattern online, which sold discontinued styles, and then found the material in the States for $2.99/yard. Even with the lining and things, I think the total cost of my dress is less than $25. But I'm going with something very simple. That's just me though. This is my 3rd marriage.

The colour I've chosen is lavender. And it's the one with the sleeves.

[Rhiannercakes 14]

Here's the link: Wedding Dress

Very pretty!!

My dress is not traditional at all. I found a pattern online, which sold discontinued styles, and then found the material in the States for $2.99/yard. Even with the lining and things, I think the total cost of my dress is less than $25. But I'm going with something very simple. That's just me though. This is my 3rd marriage.

The colour I've chosen is lavender. And it's the one with the sleeves.

That dress with the sleeves is really pretty.

I'm not usually fond of sleeves on a wedding dress, but that just looks really nice.

It's like it completes it properly, it just fits.

[JillA 2]

Ashen, not to worry! Just tell your fiance, the dress situation is none of his business Really, I don't think the fiance should get an opinion whatsoever on the dress, that's our territory.

I think your idea to go back to the store and see what else they have is a good one. You shouldn't feel rushed to pick out your dress, I know January will arrive before you know it but you still have time

[CDAgirlMI 51]

I found my wedding dress in the weirdest way without even shopping.

I was sitting around at the place I got my engagement ring waiting for the polishing to get done and was looking through a bridal magazine.

I stumbled upon a company called "Alfred Angelo". They have a whole line that lets you have colours on your wedding dress, so I decided to check it out.

Ended up falling in love with this one wedding dress, and it even helped me pick my wedding colours, haha.

It's not even really "pricy" by dress standards. The site doesn't give an exact price, but it's under 600.

My parents were iffy about the price, since they're paying for it, but I think they fell in love with it too when I showed it to them.

Here's the link: Wedding Dress

Check out the back view, that's why I fell in love with it. And I chose the colour "Espresso".

I did like a different one, but it ended up being 2000 dollars, no thanks.

What a gorgeous dress! I wanted something like the back for mine, but I chose the first dress I put on, lol...and it didn't have that type of back.

I did end up going with a white dress with some red color accents.

[minnew 4]

((HUGS)) Ashen! Like JillA said your fiance has no idea what it is like shopping for wedding dresses and honestly should not have a huge weighted opinion.

Definitely go back to the store and see what else they have, you do not want to regret what you bought. I do not regret my purchase at DB, even though mom couldn't be there with me . I did not pick out mom's favorite of course, but my dream dress which was also very affordable at just over $400.

When I was having my whole bridesmaid drama a while ago before 2 of them dropped out on me due to travel and financial issues, I was offering to pay for their dresses, because they were asking for "financial assistance" even though really I couldn't afford to start paying for hotel rooms or dresses. My aunt said to me that she did not want me to have to go through the same situation as her, because of my bridesmaids. When she got married 30 years ago the budget was also tight and she went with a dress that she could afford rather than one that she LOVED, even thought it was not considerably more expensive and she regrets her decision.

[endoftheroad 1]

this whole wedding planning thing has been completely ###### so far, so I'm getting really discouraged, and haven't really been getting any support from my fiance, which sucks

So sorry to read that ashenflowers, especially not getting "any support" from your California fiance.

[SapphireDreams 71]

Aww Ashen, don't stress too much about it. Just go on your vacation and then when you get back go back to the store and see what they have and if you still like the one you selected. It will all work out!

And, I agree with you Jill, your dress shopping is none of your business! My dress budget is actually not part of our overall wedding budget we decided, partly because I don't want him to know how much I'm spending and also so that he can't have an opinion! Maybe you can scrounge up enough money outside of the overall budget for yourself? You're probably already trying to save like crazy, but perhaps saving an extra $20 per pay cheque just for the dress?

[Hugglebuggles 60]

Aww Ashen, don't stress too much about it. Just go on your vacation and then when you get back go back to the store and see what they have and if you still like the one you selected. It will all work out!

And, I agree with you Jill, your dress shopping is none of your business! My dress budget is actually not part of our overall wedding budget we decided, partly because I don't want him to know how much I'm spending and also so that he can't have an opinion! Maybe you can scrounge up enough money outside of the overall budget for yourself? You're probably already trying to save like crazy, but perhaps saving an extra $20 per pay cheque just for the dress?

! I laugh because we did the same thing! I decided I would buy the dress I wanted with my own fiances and "surprise" him with it. I set a realistic budget for me with my income and went for it! But... I must tell you all that I really lucked out. Bill's grandmother came dress shopping with me, loved the one I picked out, then paid for it all, in full. She insisted! I was so thankful to her, she's such a darling

Here's a thought... Maybe go dress shopping with your fiance? I know its completely tabu and breaks all traditions and yada yada, but If its something that's important to him, and means he'll support your dress shopping venture even more, then maybe its an option. I actually wanted my fiance to come with me! I really thought he would offer up some good advice, but the dress tradition was important to him, and his mom really wanted to go with me, so I agreed. I mean, there's not much about the way we are all getting married that is "traditional" so why worry about it now? I told my mom I forfeited all tradition when I moved in with him 6 weeks ago...

I would also like to add that nobody's body is perfect, so don't let some odd fitting dresses bring you down! I'm not a small girl either, trust me, but when I found the dress that was right for me it fit so perfectly, I was very surprised! I tried it on yesterday to make sure it still fit and I didn't want to take it off! my soon-to-be sister-in-law even said, "damn that makes you look tiny..." B) hehehe I'm not really sure that "tiny" is an appropriate word, but I won't argue!

11 days!

Edited July 26, 2009 by Hugglebuggles

[Rhiannercakes 14]

I'm sort of glad I havn't gotten around to any wedding planning yet.

I don't want to set a wedding date not knowing when in the world I'll get the visa, it's just scary.

Not to mention, I wanted an early summer wedding (for outdoor reasons), so I have to pick a later date than the K-1 timeframe.

We're being super untraditional.

The only thing we're really being traditional with is probably the actual wedding procession.

None of that candle lighting stuff though. (If that's even done anymore)

No reception, no wedding games, nothing like that.

We're just going to have a dinner at a restaurant (since the max wedding party is probably 30 people) and maybe if they'll let us just do our dancing at the restaurant.

My parents are fine with it all, except my dad insists on dancing with me on my wedding day. I dont know why really.

He's the kinda guy who sheds a tear to the "Father of The Bride" movie.

Because my fiance originally came from Taiwan, I might switch to a Chinese dress for dinner (They're so pretty). My parents seem to embrace the culture differences... and in all honesty, I'm surprised. They're not racist, but I've just never seen them personally deal with people of other races.

And I guess later we'll just have some backyard party for his co workers n stuff, since they're not invited to the wedding.

(I'm also making my own wedding cake, lols)

Edited July 26, 2009 by Rhiann

[TimandJoyce 1]

I'm sort of glad I havn't gotten around to any wedding planning yet.

I don't want to set a wedding date not knowing when in the world I'll get the visa, it's just scary.

Not to mention, I wanted an early summer wedding (for outdoor reasons), so I have to pick a later date than the K-1 timeframe.

We're being super untraditional.

The only thing we're really being traditional with is probably the actual wedding procession.

None of that candle lighting stuff though. (If that's even done anymore)

No reception, no wedding games, nothing like that.

We're just going to have a dinner at a restaurant (since the max wedding party is probably 30 people) and maybe if they'll let us just do our dancing at the restaurant.

My parents are fine with it all, except my dad insists on dancing with me on my wedding day. I dont know why really.

He's the kinda guy who sheds a tear to the "Father of The Bride" movie.

Because my fiance originally came from Taiwan, I might switch to a Chinese dress for dinner (They're so pretty). My parents seem to embrace the culture differences... and in all honesty, I'm surprised. They're not racist, but I've just never seen them personally deal with people of other races.

And I guess later we'll just have some backyard party for his co workers n stuff, since they're not invited to the wedding.

(I'm also making my own wedding cake, lols)

Sounds nice and simple!! No stress!! Yes, I believe unity candles are still done, but it's your wedding and you can choose what you'd like. I was married twice, and never heard of it before! Tim and I however are using sand instead of candles. It's deciding on the colour now. He thought black and white for contrast; I thought maybe red (for Canada) and dark blue (for the USA) or we may just go with the wedding colours, purple and lavender.

Ashen; It's so hard to plan a wedding when you don't live in the town you're getting married in! Take a deep breath and try not to let things bother you. You'll find the perfect dress, and in time! It will work out.

[Rhiannercakes 14]

I'm sort of glad I havn't gotten around to any wedding planning yet.

I don't want to set a wedding date not knowing when in the world I'll get the visa, it's just scary.

Not to mention, I wanted an early summer wedding (for outdoor reasons), so I have to pick a later date than the K-1 timeframe.

We're being super untraditional.

The only thing we're really being traditional with is probably the actual wedding procession.

None of that candle lighting stuff though. (If that's even done anymore)

No reception, no wedding games, nothing like that.

We're just going to have a dinner at a restaurant (since the max wedding party is probably 30 people) and maybe if they'll let us just do our dancing at the restaurant.

My parents are fine with it all, except my dad insists on dancing with me on my wedding day. I dont know why really.

He's the kinda guy who sheds a tear to the "Father of The Bride" movie.

Because my fiance originally came from Taiwan, I might switch to a Chinese dress for dinner (They're so pretty). My parents seem to embrace the culture differences... and in all honesty, I'm surprised. They're not racist, but I've just never seen them personally deal with people of other races.

And I guess later we'll just have some backyard party for his co workers n stuff, since they're not invited to the wedding.

(I'm also making my own wedding cake, lols)

Sounds nice and simple!! No stress!! Yes, I believe unity candles are still done, but it's your wedding and you can choose what you'd like. I was married twice, and never heard of it before! Tim and I however are using sand instead of candles. It's deciding on the colour now. He thought black and white for contrast; I thought maybe red (for Canada) and dark blue (for the USA) or we may just go with the wedding colours, purple and lavender.

Ashen; It's so hard to plan a wedding when you don't live in the town you're getting married in! Take a deep breath and try not to let things bother you. You'll find the perfect dress, and in time! It will work out.

The only way I found out about the candle thing is through my parents' wedding album.

Otherwise, I had never heard of it.

My poor parents were forced to do certain things like the candle thing and the giving out of that weird fruit cake to everyone. They didn't even get to pick their wedding song! My grandfather DJ'd, so he picked it.

My poor parents, haha.

My parents gave me an interesting idea for a Cali wedding though.

Apparently if you book far enough in advanced, you can get married on the Queen Mary cruise ship. It's that ship permanently docked in... well, I don't remember where in Cali. They stayed on it and even saw bits and pieces of wedding related things... so that might be a neat idea.

[CDAgirlMI 51]

Queen Mary......Long Beach I think?