Wedding Details

[Hugglebuggles 60]

Woo!

We're using apple red from DB as an accent color! Its actually a pretty standard red I find... I've had luck with it thus far. Everything I've got in red seems to match almost perfectly. Its the blue I'm having challenges with. I ended up changing the shade a little... the girls are in Pool from DB, but the table linens and favor boxes etc. are a big brighter than the dresses... I figure we don't necessarily need the bridesmaids matching the linens anyways right? We just set up our tux's with Men's Warehouse last week... I wasn't to happy with the service but I'll deal with it.

I don't even know what we're doing for a rehearsal dinner yet! I just want it to be the wedding party and the parents, and I want something very simple and casual like BBQ. But we'll see if I win that battle.

On a side note I was just informed that 'someone' aka my soon-to-be MIL has been planning a 'secret' bridal shower for me, after I said I didn't want one! I mean, I'm going to try and be gracious about it, but I said no! And nobody wants to tell me where or when, so I'm really in the dark too. I know how you feel! Its frustrating.

And just to follow up... We decided to go with the ballroom. Its just more spacious and we'll definitely have the room to do what we want.

[minnew 4]

Woo!

We're using apple red from DB as an accent color! Its actually a pretty standard red I find... I've had luck with it thus far. Everything I've got in red seems to match almost perfectly. Its the blue I'm having challenges with. I ended up changing the shade a little... the girls are in Pool from DB, but the table linens and favor boxes etc. are a big brighter than the dresses... I figure we don't necessarily need the bridesmaids matching the linens anyways right? We just set up our tux's with Men's Warehouse last week... I wasn't to happy with the service but I'll deal with it.

I don't even know what we're doing for a rehearsal dinner yet! I just want it to be the wedding party and the parents, and I want something very simple and casual like BBQ. But we'll see if I win that battle.

On a side note I was just informed that 'someone' aka my soon-to-be MIL has been planning a 'secret' bridal shower for me, after I said I didn't want one! I mean, I'm going to try and be gracious about it, but I said no! And nobody wants to tell me where or when, so I'm really in the dark too. I know how you feel! Its frustrating.

And just to follow up... We decided to go with the ballroom. Its just more spacious and we'll definitely have the room to do what we want.

Ok so he just sent me an email with the ensemble and I guess its called Diamond Red...what the heck why was he saying apple! Anyways the tuxes look really nice! Good to know about your luck with the reds! I think with the color of the red I am going to go with a darker red bouquet, not sure about the petals though, all I can seem to find is the ones that look fire engine red! I am not sure how a brighter red petal would look with darker red roses for bouquets...hmmm..

I didn't win the battle over the rehearsal dinner, I wanted something casual as well like a BBQ, but his mom and him wanted something more formal, he has to wear his service dress for the dinner as requested by her. Plus with everyone from OOT it would have been hard to have a BBQ as we do not have the environment for a BBQ in an apartment complex.

I told my mother, no bridal shower, no engagement party! I hope she listens! I think its completely rude to invite people to it whom are not receiving an invite to the wedding! Its all HER friends she wants to have over! What about mine! Anyways, its not happening....at least I hope not!

If we actually hit 80 people, the room we have may seem a little bit small, but we have an outdoor patio that can be used, I just hope the guests realize that they CAN use it! I don't think we will have more than 60, but again we will see once the RSVP's start coming in! There was another room that was a bit bigger that got booked right before we booked ours, but still holds the same amount of people, I wonder if thats a wedding too?....The coordinator said a dinner....hummm....Anyways, if we need to upgrade I hope its an available option.

[JillA 2]

So yesterday I ended up going into the jewlery store where Glen bought my ring, to just look at wedding bands. I ended up finding the perfect matching band to my ring, I bought it on the spot! LOL It was regular $750 and he gave it to me for $400 if I paid cash! It's sooo nice, it's a thin band with tiny diamonds all through the top, I want to wear it now hahaha!

I know what you girls mean about no shower, etc. I told my sister (MOH) no shower, and I'm sure she'll respect that decision luckily. I'm just not into that hoohah. I guess you could look at it as sweet that they are doing it for you as a surprise, maybe they think you're saying you don't want one even though you really, really don't want one! I for one don't like surprises really.

[Krikit 1,164]

Today I just sent off the invitations in the mail! It felt soooo good to finally have them out! Alot of people say it is early to send them out because the wedding is not until October, but given the situation and alot of OOT guests I figure either they will know or they won't.

That's definitely not too early, Minnie. People in this day and age make plans many months, if not years, in advance. I would appreciate getting my invitation really early myself. And the rehearsal dinner plans sound exciting! That's so nice that they want to surprise you and your family/guests.

On a side note I was just informed that 'someone' aka my soon-to-be MIL has been planning a 'secret' bridal shower for me, after I said I didn't want one! I mean, I'm going to try and be gracious about it, but I said no! And nobody wants to tell me where or when, so I'm really in the dark too. I know how you feel! Its frustrating.

Awww. I think that's really nice of her, Huggles. It's probably her way of welcoming you into the family and introducing you to everyone. Plus it's a great way to get set up with gifts for the home. Don't take it as a negative. I'm sure she means well.

[Hugglebuggles 60]

I didn't realize red roses came in different shades? I dunno, I just told me florist I wanted red roses and that was the end of it! They aren't a perfect match to the red in the wedding, but they compliment it well. Matching colors is a pain!!

So yesterday I ended up going into the jewlery store where Glen bought my ring, to just look at wedding bands. I ended up finding the perfect matching band to my ring, I bought it on the spot! LOL It was regular $750 and he gave it to me for $400 if I paid cash! It's sooo nice, it's a thin band with tiny diamonds all through the top, I want to wear it now hahaha!

I know what you girls mean about no shower, etc. I told my sister (MOH) no shower, and I'm sure she'll respect that decision luckily. I'm just not into that hoohah. I guess you could look at it as sweet that they are doing it for you as a surprise, maybe they think you're saying you don't want one even though you really, really don't want one! I for one don't like surprises really.

Yay! That's awesome! It sounds a lot like my band. Thin with a line of diamonds running across the top. He's had it since July and I've been pinning after it!

The thing I'm confused about, is there there are 2 bands. It came as some kind of set (I think) with the engagement ring and 2 matching wedding bands. I've been told by some people that the second one is to be given to you after your first anniversary, some say 10 years, and our jeweler just tells me its a symmetry thing and I should start wearing it whenever I want. I think I'm going with option 3... Just because it looks really good all together! My fiance knows me so well, symmetry is my thing.

On a side note I was just informed that 'someone' aka my soon-to-be MIL has been planning a 'secret' bridal shower for me, after I said I didn't want one! I mean, I'm going to try and be gracious about it, but I said no! And nobody wants to tell me where or when, so I'm really in the dark too. I know how you feel! Its frustrating.

Awww. I think that's really nice of her, Huggles. It's probably her way of welcoming you into the family and introducing you to everyone. Plus it's a great way to get set up with gifts for the home. Don't take it as a negative. I'm sure she means well.

I think you're right Krikit. She's a cool lady. I've been getting to know her better since I've moved out here and I honestly think she's just trying to do something nice for me to make me feel more welcome and to help both of us out. She's assured me that its going to be very small and she's not going to invite anyone who wasn't invited to the wedding, so I guess it has the potential of being a good day. I'm trying to be gracious and nice about everything, after all she didn't have to go out of her way to do this for me right? She threw us an engagement party back in the summer with members of my fiances family, which ended up being pretty nice. I'm trying to be optimistic!

[TimandJoyce 1]

I don't even know what we're doing for a rehearsal dinner yet! I just want it to be the wedding party and the parents, and I want something very simple and casual like BBQ. But we'll see if I win that battle.

On a side note I was just informed that 'someone' aka my soon-to-be MIL has been planning a 'secret' bridal shower for me, after I said I didn't want one! I mean, I'm going to try and be gracious about it, but I said no! And nobody wants to tell me where or when, so I'm really in the dark too. I know how you feel! Its frustrating.

I think we're planning a BBQ in the park before the rehearsal. Or as Tim would call it, a cookout! ( it will always be referred as BBQ to me!) Just something simple I believe.

I know what you mean about showers!! I didn't even want to do a bridal registry. To me, it was like saying "this is what I want, buy it!" I told Tim, we have a house full of everything we need, we don't need gifts. Well, that went over like a lead balloon!! So, it looks like I'll probably have shower sometime in August, and I registered, with Belks and another gift store back in April when I was there. Seems there's just too many people that love Tim and are excited about his upcoming marriage. (oh and for the record, they love me too!) As I'm one person against all those Southerners.....I think I'll admit defeat! (That's meant in a good way!)

[ashenflowers 5]

I haven't flat out said 'no bridal shower', but since I'll be in the USA for a few months leading up to when we're coming back to have our friends/family celebration wedding thing, then there won't really be a good time to do it. Unless there's a party before I move, but I've already been pretty clear with trying to purge most of my belongings to make the move easier, so I doubt anyone would throw me a party, knowing I want to get RID of stuff, not get MORE stuff... I also kind of didn't want a Bachelorette party, but a girl friend of mine has already piped up and told me I'm having one.. lol oh dear.

We're not doing a registry. It will be really difficult and costly just to have to move everything from here to California, plus we won't be able to do returns if we need to, etc... so we're going to do something different, either ask for no gifts, or cash, or maybe specify certain items that we really want that people can pool together to buy us... i.e. a GOOD camera, computer, honeymoon spending $... stuff like that. I already inherited a set of dishes from my grandmother, and my fiance and I will have been living together for a few months (and technically already married for a few months) before we get to celebrate with everyone, so we'll have had an opportunity to gather necessary items.

..... I really never expected my 'wedding' to end up like this... LOL

And I just want to toss this in... girls... if your colours don't match... WHO CARES?!?! lol Seriously... no one will care, no one will notice, and it's not what important!! I'm sure you know that, but it just makes me sad to see people caught up in that stuff... it really really doesn't matter! Not that I'm one to talk, because I obsess with matching things, but you know what I mean

[Marilyn. 340]

yeah for our wedding I just did shades of blue that went together.. there was no way in heck I wanted to try and exactly match the shades...

[July09Bride 1]

I must say, that the wedding ideas I have and the wedding ideas my in-law's have are two different things... just because of "culture". I guess what I mean is, there were some things I wanted and they all screwed up their noses and couldn't understand why I wanted certain things, and there were things they asked me about and I screwed up my nose at them.

Ummm... dollar dances come to mind (both bride & groom vs. just bride) for example - mind you, we hadn't talked about it yet, but it came up at dinner. I wasn't opposed to having the dollar dance, but it is pretty typical to have one here in the US. The topic came up at dinner the other night (thanks, dad ) and my fiance' really wasn't sure he wanted to dance with "these strange women" he doesn't know. Mind you, he isn't crazy about meeting new people, but I think he's willing to forego the strangeness.

So, if your FMILs are American, give them a bit a slack... they're trying to help their son have a somewhat traditional engagement/wedding.

Showers here are a dime-a-dozen, and no one typically thinks twice about them. They are typically expected. It is sometimes easier to just "go with the flow", because otherwise, there might be a lot of questions. I wanted 1 shower when I went back to AZ... a friends and family one, so I could see my friends back in AZ who I keep in touch with now... and they all asked where I was registered as soon as they found out I wanted to get together with all of them. Well, then, these ladies who are members of an organization my mom & I belong to all wanted to know when I would be in town b/c they wanted to know about a shower. SO, that made shower #2.

As for registries, there were things I wanted and things I registered for, b/c my mom said (and this is verbatim), "These are the things the people will buy you, so you can remember them when you use these." I thought she was nuts. But, guess what, sure enough... they bought the stupid things I didn't want and left alone the things I DID want. Argh!!!

I wanted to return the things I didn't want (candlesticks, vases, etc.), to get the things I DID want (new plateware). But, my mom thought that would be rude. So, now I have this crystal stuff (mind you - its all really pretty) that probably won't get used and I'm missing the plates & china that I did want. Oh, well. Guess that's the problem with trying to bea modern bride in a traditional American world.

Good luck to all of you!

[Krikit 1,164]

Your entire post seems funny to me. First, I don't know what a dollar dance is, but I'm assuming it's where people pay money to dance with you? Second.... why in the world would you have items you don't really want on your gift registry? Very strange.

[TimandJoyce 1]

Ummm... dollar dances come to mind (both bride & groom vs. just bride) for example - mind you, we hadn't talked about it yet, but it came up at dinner. I wasn't opposed to having the dollar dance, but it is pretty typical to have one here in the US. The topic came up at dinner the other night (thanks, dad ) and my fiance' really wasn't sure he wanted to dance with "these strange women" he doesn't know. Mind you, he isn't crazy about meeting new people, but I think he's willing to forego the strangeness.

As for registries, there were things I wanted and things I registered for, b/c my mom said (and this is verbatim), "These are the things the people will buy you, so you can remember them when you use these." I thought she was nuts. But, guess what, sure enough... they bought the stupid things I didn't want and left alone the things I DID want. Argh!!!

I wanted to return the things I didn't want (candlesticks, vases, etc.), to get the things I DID want (new plateware). But, my mom thought that would be rude. So, now I have this crystal stuff (mind you - its all really pretty) that probably won't get used and I'm missing the plates & china that I did want. Oh, well. Guess that's the problem with trying to bea modern bride in a traditional American world.

Good luck to all of you!

If you're not sure about the dollar dances, (and I can appreciate that) one wedding I went to had dollar kisses! ( no no..not with just whomever..) Rather than tapping glasses to see the bride and groom kiss at the reception, you had to donate! So there was a big glass goblet on the table and someone would walk up, put in a bit of money, and they kissed. ( Mind you, they didn't get to eat their meal much...)

I registered too. Didn't want to but that's what was expected of me. It will be interesting to see how that all pans out now...

[JillA 2]

I've never heard of dollar dances either! Funny.

[ashenflowers 5]

I'd never heard of dollar dances either, but I LOVE the idea of dollar kisses!! Kinda prostitutey though, if you think about it....

I am soooo super glad both my parents and my future in laws aren't sticklers for tradition! Cause we are noooot tradition. lol

I'd be really sad to get a bunch of (basically) useless stuff from my wedding... Return it anyways! Who's going to know!? Will they come visit you often and expect to see it? That's the only reason I'd suggest keeping it. lol A co-worker of mine got a cat-lamp for a wedding gift... I kid you not... the lamp looked like a cat. It has set the bar for crappy gifts... "At least it's not a cat-lamp!"

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Just an observation about showers - I notice most of you don't want showers that include people who aren't invited to the wedding. I always enjoyed going to showers of people when I wasn't going to the wedding as it was a way I could join in the fun and celebration. I had no problems not getting a wedding invite but having a shower invite since weddings are expensive and there are budgets to be met. I have also attended the actual 'wedding' part of a ceremony without having an invitation to the reception and had no problems with that either. Maybe it is just me, but I always felt it is the couples' wedding and who am I to have problems with their plans and decisions?

[Hugglebuggles 60]

Just an observation about showers - I notice most of you don't want showers that include people who aren't invited to the wedding. I always enjoyed going to showers of people when I wasn't going to the wedding as it was a way I could join in the fun and celebration. I had no problems not getting a wedding invite but having a shower invite since weddings are expensive and there are budgets to be met. I have also attended the actual 'wedding' part of a ceremony without having an invitation to the reception and had no problems with that either. Maybe it is just me, but I always felt it is the couples' wedding and who am I to have problems with their plans and decisions?

Well, my thought is that if I don't like you enough to invite you to me wedding, why would I invite you to my shower? Since showers are usually beyond the realm of the brides control, I didn't want anyone inviting strange people I didn't know, or people I wouldn't necessarily want to be spending the day with. Saying, only the women who are invited to the wedding, is a way for me to have control over the guest list... That and If I was invited to someones shower and they didn't invite me to the wedding... I'm not sure how I would feel about that. I suppose you are more gracious than me Kathryn!

A dollar dance... isn't that where you pay to dance with the bride or groom and thus help them raise funds to pay for the wedding? I'm not planning on having one, but knowing my dad... well who knows.