Wedding Details

[CDAgirlMI 51]

Why do people think that when they don't want to come to the wedding they can tell someone who will tell me?

Really, I have 3 cousins who haven't responded yet, so I sent them a facebook yesterday. One responded saying "Oh, I thought my mom would tell you I can't come". Really? I put a self addressed stamped envelope in with the invitations. How hard is it to write your name and check the box saying you can't come?

URG

I hate that!!!!! Why is it so difficult??? When we had to give our final #, we tried to contact by phone & FB one couple & they never did respond. A few other people never sent their response cards back, & we had to get a hold of them (& we did). It's kind of lazy to me.

[CDAgirlMI 51]

So it's been 2+ months since our wedding.

We did not get a gift from my husband's sister's in laws.

They even asked what we wanted, but we didn't get anything.

Is there any way to like... hint or is it rude to do so? I think it's sort of rude that they didn't give a gift at all. My mom thinks so as well.

I wouldn't say anything. Just let it go. I wouldn't forget it, but wouldn't do anything about it.

The best man (his best friend) at our wedding didn't give anything. I was shocked, but my opinions didn't get further than my husband.

[Krikit 1,163]

Holy smokes on all the people who attended the weddings and didn't give gifts or cards!

I found my wedding dress today!! It is totally different than what I had in mind, but when I tried it on....it looked amazing!! It was a bit more than what I had planned on spending, but my big sis ended up buying it for me!!!

My link

Ohmygosh, Colleens.... that's gorgeous! Funny how I thought you were married already. lol

at least my dress is done, david has his suit, and we have a mini honeymoon planned, with an overnight stay at the sybaris resort. all in all..i'm not nearly as stressed as i should be..lol

I googled that resort and had to quickly close that window due to the sexual nature of the pictures. I felt dirty. lol. Looks like fun, though! lol

While we are in the topic of rudeness, when hubby and I got married, we received neither a gift/card nor a congratulations from his brother and his brother's witch. So now -her- wedding is coming up, and I just dont want to get her a gift/card or say congratulations.

I probably wouldn't, either. lol

Just let it go, some people are just special.

I only went back one page so I apologize if I have missed anything. My life was a little hectic for a few weeks. <------ huge understatement

So while I was in Canada I went with my daughter and two of her bridesmaids to a designer/dressmaker's shop not far from where she lives. In fact, we walked there. It's a good thing, too, because we left there feeling like we were all big fat slobs so we needed the exercise. OMG. He explained that he was trained in Italy and that's why he makes everything in European sizes as opposed to North American. I'm pretty sure I found my Mother-of-the-bride dress..... it's absolutely stunning. I told him I would come back to try it on after I've lost some weight. He cocked his head to one side and nodded and smiled with one of those "I think that's best, dear" looks that only a gay dress designer can perfect. He's awesome. Anyway, he drew a quick design of the dress they'd like based on their descriptions and a couple of "this-is-nice" pictures we brought along, and took one of the girls' measurements to make a test dress. I believe he was going to have it ready this week. So exciting!

And now they think they've found the cake maker! They've been to some disappointing cake testings, but last night I got a call from a very excited couple saying they had the best experience with an organic cake maker just around the corner from their house! My daughter doesn't even like cake (me either...lol) and she absolutely loved the samples. They're having a quote done today, and here is the cake maker:

LPK's Culinary Groove

Did I miss anything exciting? Wedding pics? Dress pics?

[TimandJoyce 1]

Wow, people go to weddings and don't give gifts? What is wrong with people??? I don't know how they can live with themselves!

Unfortunately people are people. You'll always have someone that won't give a gift or card.

At the very least, it's always nice to get $$$$ Or a gift card. I LOVED getting those!

Glad to see plans falling into place.

I'm with Huggles...glad I won't EVER do this again. ( course, I already thought I had said that before I met Tim... )

[rae_and_scott 1]

Actually, as far as 'proper' wedding etiquette goes, people have up to 1 year past the date of your wedding to give a gift. So 2 months is not rude. I personally think hinting would be rude. To be honest, I think couples shouldn't expect gifts or money for their weddings. You never know people's situations or what they can afford. And even if they can afford it, well, they still are not required to give you a gift. Just my 2c.

[Rhiannercakes 14]

Sure they're not required to give a gift, but it's common courtesy is it not?

I'd feel stupid showing up to a wedding without a gift.

[SapphireDreams 71]

Personally, I think showing up to any event whether a dinner party or a wedding without a gift is in poor taste. But maybe that's just a cultural thing.

If someone can't afford to give someone a wedding gift, they should not be going to the wedding. Period. I'm going to a friend's wedding back in Canada in May. We couldn't afford for my husband and I to both fly there and give a gift covering both of us, so we made the decision that if I wanted to go, I would go solo. Simple as that. If we couldn't afford to give a gift at all, I wouldn't go!

I know weddings are not all about the gifts, but I think it's just common courtesy.

[rae_and_scott 1]

Yes, I absolutely agree it's courteous to give a gift. But some of the statements here, 'what is wrong with people' for not giving a gift, I just don't happen to agree with that. I had some friends who traveled to our wedding and couldn't afford a gift on top of that. But it meant far more to me that they were there, and I didn't care that they didn't give us a gift. Again, this is just my personal opinion.

But they do have 1 year to give you something still, so IMHO hinting at it would be inappropriate.

[darkchilde794 5]

I agree with both rae and Sapphire -- even if they are for opposing sides!

In one hand I would never go to a wedding without giving a present. Last summer a student in my lab was getting married and she had a super duper uber fancy reception at Canoe's in downtown Toronto. The meal prepared for her guests came up to 150 dollars (just for the dinner). So I would have had to give at least 150, which was just not something I could do or want to do... so I decided not to go.

However, in some situations there are people who are in one's family and may not be in good financial situation. My husband has cousins who are still in school and are struggling. I would never think to not invite them to our wedding... and I also will not expect them to give money or give more than what they can afford.

I guess it's a tough position to be in when it happens to you...

[SapphireDreams 71]

Yes, I absolutely agree it's courteous to give a gift. But some of the statements here, 'what is wrong with people' for not giving a gift, I just don't happen to agree with that. I had some friends who traveled to our wedding and couldn't afford a gift on top of that. But it meant far more to me that they were there, and I didn't care that they didn't give us a gift. Again, this is just my personal opinion.

But they do have 1 year to give you something still, so IMHO hinting at it would be inappropriate.

You're obviously referring to my statement and looking back, I do admit was a bit harsh.... and I do think there are exceptions to every rule and knowing in advance is totally acceptable. Obviously if I had friends or family travelling to be at my wedding and who I really wanted there but couldn't afford it, that would be very different. I'm guessing in your situation they reached out to you or you reached out to them and there was a precidence set from the get-go. If someone reached out to me and said they weren't going to be able to come, they couldn't afford it etc. I'd say, please come and don't bring anything but yourself...of course! But if someone just showed up and didn't say a word and didn't even bring a card, I'd be a bit put off. I mean I'd also wonder if I lost their card/gift and I'd probably be worried that I lost it!

[rae_and_scott 1]

Actually, I didn't intend to single you out, Sapphire.

And someone else said, 'I wouldn't even send them a thank you card' to Rhianne but I would actually disagree with that as well. If you send them a thank you card for coming to the wedding, they will appreciate it and since they even asked you what you'd like, maybe they'll see the thank-you and say, 'oh! we need to get their gift!'. I mean, maybe not, but it's still nice to send the thank you and be the bigger person.

[Hugglebuggles 60]

Well, as people who immigrated to new countries and left most of their family behind, I think we all understand that a lot of people went out of their way to attend our weddings. I had a lot of people travel from Canada, and from other states in the US to be at our wedding and I'm very grateful for that. I tried to make it clear to each of those people that I did not expect or want a gift from them, and if those people who spent thousands just to attend the wedding showed up without a gift, I wouldn't be to upset, absolutely not. But, all of those people did something- a gift, a card, something, even my friends who are college students and completely drained all their resources to just be there got us a small gift. The one person who didn't bother, is a person who didn't have to travel at all, and a person I'm very well aware has a strong financial backing. To me, he didn't get us a gift because he didn't want to, not because he couldn't. It's not the value of the gift but the thought behind it, and he just didn't care, that's what upsets me. I've also seen him several times since the wedding, and there will be no gift or card from him. He definitely hasn't brought up the subject or indicated he will in anyway. Personally, I think that's very rude.

[Peachey 10]

Actually, I didn't intend to single you out, Sapphire.

And someone else said, 'I wouldn't even send them a thank you card' to Rhianne but I would actually disagree with that as well. If you send them a thank you card for coming to the wedding, they will appreciate it and since they even asked you what you'd like, maybe they'll see the thank-you and say, 'oh! we need to get their gift!'. I mean, maybe not, but it's still nice to send the thank you and be the bigger person.

Ok, give them a thank you card, and then send them another one when they send you a gift. You can acknowledge that they came to the wedding, send them a facebook message saying "I'm glad you could make it to the wedding, I hope you had a good time". But I don't think you need to send them a thank you card. I wouldn't.

I personally would just let it go. Don't even think about it or let it bother you anymore.

[J & J 3]

Hi All,

On to wedding dresses...

I was wondering if anyone knows of a wedding gown place that is affiliated with Canada and U.S.? I wouldn't mind finding someplace in Canada to try the dresses on and then buy one at a U.S. location.

I'm kinda looking for a place like Zales jewelers... they are affiliated with peoples and Mappins in Canada...

Wondering if there is a place like that for wedding dresses..

Let me know if you know of a place... Thanks!

Or even if you have a good location you would recommend in the U.S or Canada...

[Rhiannercakes 14]

Alfred Angelo has US locations and certified dealers in Canada.

I actually wanted to buy my dress in the US because it would have been like 400 dollars cheaper, but my parents bought it in Canada.

Silly parents.