Wedding Details

[FormelyCA 0]

Okay, here's a serious and very bothersome topic that I'm dealing with in relation to our wedding, and any thoughts or advice you all might have, would be gratefully appreciated. Be prepared for a novel. You've got to know the background, for this is also a partial vent and rant about....

*sigh*

Here goes. My parents got divorced when I was 5. My biological father was the every-other weekend dad. I never really saw him other than on "his" weekends. Sometimes, when it was his weekend, I'd be left with a babysitter or on my own, so he could go out to an event (dinners for work or whatever). He rarely showed up for my dance recitals... I can remember him calling me multiple times a couple of hours prior to the recital telling me he wouldn't be there. I would be crushed and then my mom and step-dad (I call him Leo (his name) but he has become/is my "real dad" and always refer to him as dad as he & my mom married when I was 7 1/2) would keep my spirits up and eventually I'd forget about the call and get all happy and excited again.

Well, when I was 14 and a freshman in high school, he decided that he was going to move from Phoenix to Sacramento, CA. He told me he wanted to start his life over and get a fresh new start. I remember crying when he left, and although I was crying, I remember feeling odd about crying. I think I was crying b/c he was moving, but more for the fact that he was already never there, and this was going to make him absent even more.

When he moved, I saw him about once every 2 or 3 years. Then, when I was in college (ok Canadian friends, read university), I saw him a couple of times. Once for his wedding #3 (step-mom #2) and once for a fun ski-trip. After that, we went back to the once every 2 or 3 years. Just before I moved to Michigan, I received a 3-page, typed, single-spaced letter telling me I didn't deserve to have his last name, he was going to disown me, and that I was a horrible daughter and granddaughter. This was just before my cousin's wedding, and I decided to attend the wedding for my cousin and I could ignore my father. So, when I shoed up, I did just that. I rented my own car, said hello and hugged ALL of my relatives, except him, and had fun with the rest of the family. Just as I was curling my hair in the bathroom on the afternoon of the wedding, he stopped by the bathroom and told me he was sorry about the letter. I accepted his apology, but things were still unbelievably tense. Now, mind you, this was AFTER I dropped everything to go to California b/c my step-mom's daughter (did I mention he'd been remarried yet again and this was step-mom #3 and marriage #4??) was shot and killed at point-blank range. I took days off from work, used saved frequent flyer miles to get there in time for the funeral, and spent the whole time I was there as the little worker bee so my father & step-mom didn't have to do ANYTHING?? I answered the phone, took the messages, ran to & from the grocery store for the reception at the house after the funeral, and kept things full during the reception, then flew out the following day.

Just after I moved to Michigan in 2001, my grandfather (his dad) passed away. I flew to Missouri for that event and the following year, one of my cousins got married and I flew back for that too. I'd now seen him more in the past two years, than I had in the previous 3 or 4. A couple of years later, my other cousin got married and this time, my now fiance' accompanied me on the trip. Since my cousin's wedding and another wedding we were both in were both before my birthday, my fiance' gave me an early birthday gift... my first digital camera! I was so excited, I could hardly stand myself! When I got to Missouri, and we got settled in at my uncle's house (where I always stay), I wanted to show off my "new toy". So, I shared that Duncan got me a digital camera and I was showing it off - all excited that it was a 5 megapixel (that was big at the time)! My father's comment? "Well, my digital camera has 6 megapixels." That's word-for-word what he said. Not the typical parent response I was expecting.

The following year, my father celebrated his 60th birthday. I went to Saramento for his birthday party and these people kept toasting this amazing man. I couldn't quite figure out who they were talking about... but thought that if THIS is who he had become, I just wish it was the man I knew to be my father.

As of last year, when Duncan and I got engaged, my father was all excited... or so it seemed - at least, that's what he said. He said he'd cover half the costs with my parents (mom & step-dad). So, we figured out a budget after doing a lot of online and window shopping. We sent it to him and he returned it with his adjustments and what he was willing to cover. Fine, whatever. Not a big deal. He kept saying he'd send me a credit card that I could use to cover costs and make down payments. That never showed up... he never ordered it. He balked at the cost of this or the cost of that, and wondered if there were cheaper options. Seriously... if there WERE cheaper options, we would have gone with the cheaper option. I mean, my dress was less than $900 after taxes (including the headpiece and veil). There were MANY out there much more expensive, but there were some things I wanted my dress to have style-wise, that I thought the price was terrific - and so did my mom.

Sorry, I digress... when Duncan & I decided we wanted to go to Hawaii last Thanksgiving, we got an amazing price on the cruise and with the 3-day free hotel that I won at a bridal show, we thought that Hawaii would be great! Well, I was teaching extra classes and their enrollment kept dropping and I never went back and that hrt, b/c that was my "wedding/honeymoon" money. So, fast-forward to one week ago...

Both sets of parents were on the phone talking about the wedding costs and our honeymoon. They decided together, that they would cover the cost of the honeymoon as a wedding gift to us, I was elated! I'm sure some of you saw my excitement in the "Good News" thread. Anyway, my father was to send 1/2 the price to my parents this past week. Yesterday, my step-dad still hadn't received the money, and he called my father to find out what was going on... he was concerned the check had gotten lost in the mail or something. Nope. The check was never sent. Before my father was let go from his job a couple of weeks ago, he ran up a $3500 cell phone bill and the company wasn't going to pay it. He would have to pay it. Who runs up a $3500 cell phone bill???!! So, instead, my father just didn't bother to call my parents and tell them that he wasn't sending the money. Well, last Sunday when my parents told us the good news, they said to use their credit card to pay off the trip as our wedding gift from them. (BTW, the honeymoon had to be paid in full by 5/1.)

Again, another way for him to NOT come through for me. When I was in Arizona a month ago, he was there for my showers along with my step-mom. The afternoon of the 2nd shower, he came up to me about an hour into the event, and told me that he & my step-mom would probably be leaving before the end of the shower. They were afraid that the flight they had would get them in too late (at 9pm) and would have to drive home, blah, blah, blah. We were all outside b/c the weather was beautiful. So, everyone heads inside for the "game" and while we're doing that, he sneaks out the front door without even a goodbye! Just OUT! I saw them walking by the front window, and I turned to look at my mom. She asked me if I wanted her to stop them, and I said don't worry. They can't be bothered to say goodbye, neither can I. ARGH.

I had a very difficult time deciding who should walk me down the aisle. I want my stepdad to do it, but I felt that my father would be slighted. So, I thought I'd have them both walk me, but I'd want my step-dad on the "traditional" side, and I didn't want to deal with all of that. So, I had to come up with another solution. My mom. She's one of my best friends and has been there (literally) through it all. So, I asked her to do it. She was trepidacious at first, b/c she didn't want my step-dad to be upset. Believe it or not, my catering manager for where we're having ht reception came up with a terrific idea. We're planning on my mom walking me down, and both dads being up front to meet us, and all three of them give me away. In addition, right now, both sets of parents are listed on the invitations.

I'm SO afraid my father is not going to come through for the wedding and my mom and stepdad will be responsible for everything. My father is SO good at backing out and not following through. Here's my predicament. Does he still come? Does he come as a "regular" guest? If he doesn't come, I'm afraid my very aging grandmother (my only biological grandparent that I totally love to pieces with all my heart who is still living) won't be able to get to my wedding. I want her there so much. It brings me to tears each time I think of getting married and not having her there. What about his brother who will be there? My mom says that my uncle thinks my dad is/can be a jerk... but I haven't heard that before. I also have cousins coming... one's son is the ring bearer and another cousin is an usher and would do anything for me. What (if anything) do I tell them?

Right now, I feel SOOOOO hurt by my father. He promises the world and provides not even a bread crumb, time after time. The fact he didn't have the decency to call my parents to say, "Hey, I have a sticky situation here and I can't get you the money I promised you by Friday. Can I get it to you in the next month or so?" I mean, how hard is that?

OHHHH. I get SO mad with him. My step-dad is going to call him at the beginning of the week and try to get something financial from him... wired money, cashier's check... something he can't cancel or renig on. If he doesn't come through, I'm getting prepared to let him have it. He OWES my parents. Big time. He didn't pay all of his child support. He didn't pay for college (which he was supposed to do.) Didn't pay for braces (which he was supposed to do.) Didn't pay and hasn't paid for ANYTHING other than the photographer (and that's not even fully paid off, yet) for the wedding. My parents have been covering his "items". Oh, this is good... when I called him to try and get an answer from him about costs - he said he didn't know what his costs were - said he didn't have or know about the budget. Wow... I corrected him on that straight away. Yeah, he had one, he was trying to weasel out. Imagine that.

What do I do? Invite him as a guest? Put only my mom & step-dad's names on the invite? Ask him not to come? I'm tired of empty promises. How will I feel if he's not there? How do I deal with his family members if he doesn't come? What about my grandma??

Sorry ladies, that this is such an unbelievably long post with so much personal info... I just can't figure out what to do. No one around me likes my father much, so I guess I'm hoping impartial people who haven't ever met me IRL or him, can help in some way.

Thoughts or ideas? Honestly, I'm not looking for a pity party or a woah is me moment. I just need to figure out if he should be there or not and if he is, in what capacity.

First, I wish I knew how to use the quote thing better so I can make this clean and easy to read I will try my best.

I am sorry you have to go through this. I feel as if I was in the same situation so I can relate. My dad and I are not close and while I feel sorry for him, at the same time, "you made your bed now lie in it" sorta thing comes into play. BUT then again, I feel sorrow for him for making the choices he felt he had to make in life and choosing the path he did. What I have learned though, is that while you may love someone you do not have to like them. I am civil to him, and I do love him. I just do not like him. And, that is fine for me. I was actually dreading my wedding because I knew I would have to deal with things I didn't want to - "Who would walk me down the isle?? What about the dad/daughter dance??" Well, I am a very NON traditional person so it worked out for me that I didn't wanna do all those things and because of my progressive-ish (or so I like to think haha) personality they understood.

July, one thing I have learned about people is they play different roles in life. While your father may be an amazing co/worker and friend, clearly, as a father or anything else it seems requiring more commitment he falls short. Some of the most horrible fathers who do horrible things to their children are WONDERFUL friends. I understand 100% this. What I have done is separated MYSELF from his "father role" and just learned to understand that for whatever reasons, he is not good at it. It could be a myriad of reasons and this is where my sympathy comes into play. Fathers/mothers had lives before us. And who knows what happened to them beforehand to mold them into who they were when they entered father/motherhood. Sometimes I think I am TOO sympathetic, because at some point one has to take responsibility for ones actions. And to some extent I think he has done that. It is always the "elephant in the room" but now my father tries and I can't fault him for that. And though he has never said it, I really believe he is sorry for his past. And that is all we truly want isn't it? You can't change the past so we just wanna know that THEY know they &*$#&^ up and acknowledge it, directly or indirectly. It is difficult growing up with someone who is emotionally unavailable, but you cannot keep hoping that one day he will turn into this wonderful father. One day has past many years ago so know you need to make decisions based on the person he is, not on what you wish he could be.

As for him walking you down the isle, here is what I did - I walked down by myself I got married/wedding in Honduras, a very catholic/traditional country and none of his family could understand why I was walking by myself. I think they expected me to burn my bra at the end of something It was good because we could always use the excuse, "Oh thats how they do it in Canada" : Us wacky Canadians!! As for Dad/daughter dance, well they knew me and that I didn't overly wanna do the traditional things, and I knew it would be a farce and the most uncomfortable 2:23 seconds of my life, so why put myself through that??? It is MY day, it is MY time to do what *I* want (oh yah, and my finace haha). But I didn't want to do whatever i felt was not "me".

Now about inviting him. I understand the, "ok, what will other people think?" like his family members etc. and what I have learned is not to care. If someone says something, just politly advise them that you guys have had a rocky past OR guide them to your post and just say "u wanna know why? THIS is why". And have them read about all his countless disappointment after disappointment to you You don't owe ANYone ANYthing. I think though beforehand I would send your dad a letter much as he did with you years prior (btw that was so hurtful ) explaining your feelings so it wouldn't be a surprise.

Myself? I would invite him with the expectation that he will not be what you want him to be. He may leave early, he may complain, he may do all sorts of things. I would lay it out to him beforehand that this is YOUR day, if he doesn't like something, send his complaints to the comment cards elsewhere I would feel bad NOT inviting him and whatever he did after was on HIS own free will. So you're sorta the bigger person kinda thing. People are only disappointed when what they expect to happen falls short. Expect your father to not show up, expect him to be an a$$, expect him to leave early. If you do all of these, he cannot disappoint you. I think it is opening up a can of worms (with other cousins etc. and your grandmother - I think she is paternal9 if YOU choose not to invite him. Also, that gives him FREE will to hold a grudge against you as the terrible daughter who didn't invite her own dear, loving father (in his eyes) to her wedding.

Yes, weddings truly are a time when family ####### gets brought to the surface. Sad but true. I hope you do not let this stress you too much and not to let it ruin your big day.

[FormelyCA 0]

Thanks for the stamp idea Jill! I'll do that.

Marilyn- You looked so pretty!! I love the sleeves!

Bill and I have been to a couple different places together, so we decided to use everything... after all, there's not much to see in my hometown to name a table after So were using some places in NC, Ohio, California, Ontario, and Colorado... possibly Quebec, Michigan and NY state. We'll see how they turn out!

With all of these weddings this summer, we should definitely resurrect the wedding pictures thread(s)! Maybe even offer up some of the pics as ideas for others. Hmmm... I think Carrie already had her wedding, PopRocks' is in June, ours is in July (and someone else's is in July, too -- can't remember who, though!), Huggles' is in August...

SO many pictures to look over this summer!!! Yea! I can't wait to see everyone else's pics!

OHH WEDDING PICTURES!!?? Where do I sign up!! I'd love to share pics :D :D

[July09Bride 1]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts, ideas, and support. I've got some things to obviously figure out before we finish the invitations this week. I didn't mean to unload so much last night. I had been talking to my fiance' and he was livid about my father and I just needed some outside opinions. You all are great. Thanks again for your posts.

[JillA 2]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts, ideas, and support. I've got some things to obviously figure out before we finish the invitations this week. I didn't mean to unload so much last night. I had been talking to my fiance' and he was livid about my father and I just needed some outside opinions. You all are great. Thanks again for your posts.

Hi July,

((HUGS))

Sorry about the struggles, that must be very difficult. Don't apologize for a thing, we're all here for you to just listen if that's what you need. I can't offer too much advice, but one thing re: invites. Many people nowadays, and what I am doing myself as I have step-parents too, is rather than saying the parents names, say:

The parents of

July lastname

and

Duncan lastname

Invite you to share in the joy of the marriage uniting their children

On Satuday, July etc etc....

This is the style of invite I got for a wedding next month and how I plan on doing mine. This way you are not leaving anyone out, by just saying "parents" and not all the names that is appropriate for blended families.

Also, just remember you can NEVER PLEASE EVERYONE. No matter what, there will always be someone that doesn't like/approve of something. You have to please yourself first, and try not to worry about everyone else. I know it's hard but put yourself first, this is YOUR day!! xoxo

[minnew 4]

Okay, here's a serious and very bothersome topic that I'm dealing with in relation to our wedding, and any thoughts or advice you all might have, would be gratefully appreciated. Be prepared for a novel. You've got to know the background, for this is also a partial vent and rant about....

*sigh*

Here goes. My parents got divorced when I was 5. My biological father was the every-other weekend dad. I never really saw him other than on "his" weekends. Sometimes, when it was his weekend, I'd be left with a babysitter or on my own, so he could go out to an event (dinners for work or whatever). He rarely showed up for my dance recitals... I can remember him calling me multiple times a couple of hours prior to the recital telling me he wouldn't be there. I would be crushed and then my mom and step-dad (I call him Leo (his name) but he has become/is my "real dad" and always refer to him as dad as he & my mom married when I was 7 1/2) would keep my spirits up and eventually I'd forget about the call and get all happy and excited again.

Well, when I was 14 and a freshman in high school, he decided that he was going to move from Phoenix to Sacramento, CA. He told me he wanted to start his life over and get a fresh new start. I remember crying when he left, and although I was crying, I remember feeling odd about crying. I think I was crying b/c he was moving, but more for the fact that he was already never there, and this was going to make him absent even more.

When he moved, I saw him about once every 2 or 3 years. Then, when I was in college (ok Canadian friends, read university), I saw him a couple of times. Once for his wedding #3 (step-mom #2) and once for a fun ski-trip. After that, we went back to the once every 2 or 3 years. Just before I moved to Michigan, I received a 3-page, typed, single-spaced letter telling me I didn't deserve to have his last name, he was going to disown me, and that I was a horrible daughter and granddaughter. This was just before my cousin's wedding, and I decided to attend the wedding for my cousin and I could ignore my father. So, when I shoed up, I did just that. I rented my own car, said hello and hugged ALL of my relatives, except him, and had fun with the rest of the family. Just as I was curling my hair in the bathroom on the afternoon of the wedding, he stopped by the bathroom and told me he was sorry about the letter. I accepted his apology, but things were still unbelievably tense. Now, mind you, this was AFTER I dropped everything to go to California b/c my step-mom's daughter (did I mention he'd been remarried yet again and this was step-mom #3 and marriage #4??) was shot and killed at point-blank range. I took days off from work, used saved frequent flyer miles to get there in time for the funeral, and spent the whole time I was there as the little worker bee so my father & step-mom didn't have to do ANYTHING?? I answered the phone, took the messages, ran to & from the grocery store for the reception at the house after the funeral, and kept things full during the reception, then flew out the following day.

Just after I moved to Michigan in 2001, my grandfather (his dad) passed away. I flew to Missouri for that event and the following year, one of my cousins got married and I flew back for that too. I'd now seen him more in the past two years, than I had in the previous 3 or 4. A couple of years later, my other cousin got married and this time, my now fiance' accompanied me on the trip. Since my cousin's wedding and another wedding we were both in were both before my birthday, my fiance' gave me an early birthday gift... my first digital camera! I was so excited, I could hardly stand myself! When I got to Missouri, and we got settled in at my uncle's house (where I always stay), I wanted to show off my "new toy". So, I shared that Duncan got me a digital camera and I was showing it off - all excited that it was a 5 megapixel (that was big at the time)! My father's comment? "Well, my digital camera has 6 megapixels." That's word-for-word what he said. Not the typical parent response I was expecting.

The following year, my father celebrated his 60th birthday. I went to Saramento for his birthday party and these people kept toasting this amazing man. I couldn't quite figure out who they were talking about... but thought that if THIS is who he had become, I just wish it was the man I knew to be my father.

As of last year, when Duncan and I got engaged, my father was all excited... or so it seemed - at least, that's what he said. He said he'd cover half the costs with my parents (mom & step-dad). So, we figured out a budget after doing a lot of online and window shopping. We sent it to him and he returned it with his adjustments and what he was willing to cover. Fine, whatever. Not a big deal. He kept saying he'd send me a credit card that I could use to cover costs and make down payments. That never showed up... he never ordered it. He balked at the cost of this or the cost of that, and wondered if there were cheaper options. Seriously... if there WERE cheaper options, we would have gone with the cheaper option. I mean, my dress was less than $900 after taxes (including the headpiece and veil). There were MANY out there much more expensive, but there were some things I wanted my dress to have style-wise, that I thought the price was terrific - and so did my mom.

Sorry, I digress... when Duncan & I decided we wanted to go to Hawaii last Thanksgiving, we got an amazing price on the cruise and with the 3-day free hotel that I won at a bridal show, we thought that Hawaii would be great! Well, I was teaching extra classes and their enrollment kept dropping and I never went back and that hrt, b/c that was my "wedding/honeymoon" money. So, fast-forward to one week ago...

Both sets of parents were on the phone talking about the wedding costs and our honeymoon. They decided together, that they would cover the cost of the honeymoon as a wedding gift to us, I was elated! I'm sure some of you saw my excitement in the "Good News" thread. Anyway, my father was to send 1/2 the price to my parents this past week. Yesterday, my step-dad still hadn't received the money, and he called my father to find out what was going on... he was concerned the check had gotten lost in the mail or something. Nope. The check was never sent. Before my father was let go from his job a couple of weeks ago, he ran up a $3500 cell phone bill and the company wasn't going to pay it. He would have to pay it. Who runs up a $3500 cell phone bill???!! So, instead, my father just didn't bother to call my parents and tell them that he wasn't sending the money. Well, last Sunday when my parents told us the good news, they said to use their credit card to pay off the trip as our wedding gift from them. (BTW, the honeymoon had to be paid in full by 5/1.)

Again, another way for him to NOT come through for me. When I was in Arizona a month ago, he was there for my showers along with my step-mom. The afternoon of the 2nd shower, he came up to me about an hour into the event, and told me that he & my step-mom would probably be leaving before the end of the shower. They were afraid that the flight they had would get them in too late (at 9pm) and would have to drive home, blah, blah, blah. We were all outside b/c the weather was beautiful. So, everyone heads inside for the "game" and while we're doing that, he sneaks out the front door without even a goodbye! Just OUT! I saw them walking by the front window, and I turned to look at my mom. She asked me if I wanted her to stop them, and I said don't worry. They can't be bothered to say goodbye, neither can I. ARGH.

I had a very difficult time deciding who should walk me down the aisle. I want my stepdad to do it, but I felt that my father would be slighted. So, I thought I'd have them both walk me, but I'd want my step-dad on the "traditional" side, and I didn't want to deal with all of that. So, I had to come up with another solution. My mom. She's one of my best friends and has been there (literally) through it all. So, I asked her to do it. She was trepidacious at first, b/c she didn't want my step-dad to be upset. Believe it or not, my catering manager for where we're having ht reception came up with a terrific idea. We're planning on my mom walking me down, and both dads being up front to meet us, and all three of them give me away. In addition, right now, both sets of parents are listed on the invitations.

I'm SO afraid my father is not going to come through for the wedding and my mom and stepdad will be responsible for everything. My father is SO good at backing out and not following through. Here's my predicament. Does he still come? Does he come as a "regular" guest? If he doesn't come, I'm afraid my very aging grandmother (my only biological grandparent that I totally love to pieces with all my heart who is still living) won't be able to get to my wedding. I want her there so much. It brings me to tears each time I think of getting married and not having her there. What about his brother who will be there? My mom says that my uncle thinks my dad is/can be a jerk... but I haven't heard that before. I also have cousins coming... one's son is the ring bearer and another cousin is an usher and would do anything for me. What (if anything) do I tell them?

Right now, I feel SOOOOO hurt by my father. He promises the world and provides not even a bread crumb, time after time. The fact he didn't have the decency to call my parents to say, "Hey, I have a sticky situation here and I can't get you the money I promised you by Friday. Can I get it to you in the next month or so?" I mean, how hard is that?

OHHHH. I get SO mad with him. My step-dad is going to call him at the beginning of the week and try to get something financial from him... wired money, cashier's check... something he can't cancel or renig on. If he doesn't come through, I'm getting prepared to let him have it. He OWES my parents. Big time. He didn't pay all of his child support. He didn't pay for college (which he was supposed to do.) Didn't pay for braces (which he was supposed to do.) Didn't pay and hasn't paid for ANYTHING other than the photographer (and that's not even fully paid off, yet) for the wedding. My parents have been covering his "items". Oh, this is good... when I called him to try and get an answer from him about costs - he said he didn't know what his costs were - said he didn't have or know about the budget. Wow... I corrected him on that straight away. Yeah, he had one, he was trying to weasel out. Imagine that.

What do I do? Invite him as a guest? Put only my mom & step-dad's names on the invite? Ask him not to come? I'm tired of empty promises. How will I feel if he's not there? How do I deal with his family members if he doesn't come? What about my grandma??

Sorry ladies, that this is such an unbelievably long post with so much personal info... I just can't figure out what to do. No one around me likes my father much, so I guess I'm hoping impartial people who haven't ever met me IRL or him, can help in some way.

Thoughts or ideas? Honestly, I'm not looking for a pity party or a woah is me moment. I just need to figure out if he should be there or not and if he is, in what capacity.

Jeez I am always late!

I am sorry July for what you are going through! I cannot imagine what it is like. If I was in that situation I would still invite your father, that way its up to him if he comes, you have left the ball in his court not yours. Your step-father sounds like a good man. I would definitely consider having your mother walk you down the aisle. I would want someone who has been there for me through thick and thin, not someone who cannot be bothered to even spend time with you, and not someone who cannot fulfill their obligations as a father and as someone who was going to play a part in a very nice wedding gift. I hope you can be at peace with whatever decision you make.

[SapphireDreams 71]

July - That is definitely a tricky situation to be in. If I was in your situation, I would probably just have my Mom walk me down the aisle, invite your Dad and just cut him out of the wedding planning details. Invite him as a guest and leave it at that.

In terms of invites go, I really like Jill's suggestion. We're actually not going to put mention of our families or parents on our invite since we are paying for everything ourselves. Another good one is to say "Together with their parents, X & X invite you to join in the celebration of their marriage" or something along those lines.

[July09Bride 1]

Woo hoo! The color printer arrived today... yea! That means we can start PRINTING the INVITATIONS!!!! I'm so excited! May have to post a sneak peak of our invites.

[SapphireDreams 71]

Woo hoo! The color printer arrived today... yea! That means we can start PRINTING the INVITATIONS!!!! I'm so excited! May have to post a sneak peak of our invites.

I wanna see!!! I wanna see!!!

I need inspiration because I'm thinking I'm going to make ours too.

[JillA 2]

Woo hoo! The color printer arrived today... yea! That means we can start PRINTING the INVITATIONS!!!! I'm so excited! May have to post a sneak peak of our invites.

I wanna see!!! I wanna see!!!

I need inspiration because I'm thinking I'm going to make ours too.

YAY! I'm making mine too ladies, already got them at Walmart LOL.... they are Martha Stewart, $10 for a box of 40 (they were on sale when I got them).... so much cheaper than having them professionally done! Here they are:

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?...uct_id=10097955

[minnew 4]

Woo hoo! The color printer arrived today... yea! That means we can start PRINTING the INVITATIONS!!!! I'm so excited! May have to post a sneak peak of our invites.

I wanna see!!! I wanna see!!!

I need inspiration because I'm thinking I'm going to make ours too.

YAY! I'm making mine too ladies, already got them at Walmart LOL.... they are Martha Stewart, $10 for a box of 40 (they were on sale when I got them).... so much cheaper than having them professionally done! Here they are:

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?...uct_id=10097955

I know I have been looking at some invitations catalogues...and whoa! My mom's like don't you want embossing or something on them? I can print them for so much cheaper, even if I have to go through a whole cartridge of ink! Then of course postage too! I really like the simple silver hearts that I see at Micheals or Walmart. Plus the silver will go with our white, red and black theme.

[July09Bride 1]

Woo hoo! The color printer arrived today... yea! That means we can start PRINTING the INVITATIONS!!!! I'm so excited! May have to post a sneak peak of our invites.

I wanna see!!! I wanna see!!!

I need inspiration because I'm thinking I'm going to make ours too.

As soon as we have a definitive answer about my "paternal situation", I'll be able to post the actual invite. Until then, I just may have to post the images of the rest of the invite.

[Hugglebuggles 60]

I'm struggling! Who thought tying bows was so difficult? After painstaking hours of trying to figure out how to tie it I came up with this. Be honest now... If it looks deformed tell me

And that's with all the goods minus envelopes! I printed the inner and outter ones envelopes myself and they turned out pretty good

[July09Bride 1]

Okay, here goes... (I hope this works!)

The invites will be in a metallic black pocket folder... with an angled tab. When you open the "folder", the invite (not posted here) will be seen (5x7) and on the right there is a 3" wide pocket that will hold the following cards in descending size. 7" is the tallest, then 6 1/2", 6", and the response card (postcard) will be 5 1/2" high. That way each word can be seen at the top of each card. BTW, I do graphic design on the side, so I hope the size of these (if you view them full-size) doesn't slow you down too much!

Top card... Directions

2nd Card... Accommodations

3rd Card... Reception

Bottom Card... Response Card

EDIT NOTE: Okay... they were WAYYYYYYYY too big on here. I'll have to shrink 'em and then post 'em!

Edited May 6, 2009 by July09Bride

[BermyCat 1]

My formal wedding is 12 days!

I just had to get that off my chest. I've a million things to do plus taking care of the cat. I'm going a little nuts.

July,

I'm sorry about all the trouble and hurt feelings your Dad is causing you. Phil's biological father, Doug, is not invited to our wedding. We decided to limit our guest list to people that have always been and always will be a part of our every day lives. Phil's father was completely absent in Phil's life. Honestly, from what I've heard about how often Doug disappointed his sons, I'd probably end up having words with him anyway. I've never met Doug and I don't think that I want to. Phil's stepdad is a wonderful, wonderful man and I'm glad it'll be him that we spend a lot of time with.

I think you should think long and hard about whether your wedding day will be better or worse off for having him there and make your decision accordingly. Phil's mom actually made Phil invite his father to his first wedding. Doug managed piss off most of the other guests with his inappropriate behavior. Phil's stepdad ended up threatening to have Doug removed if he didn't behave.

Whatever you end up doing, I've hope everything works out well in the end.

~ Catherine

[minnew 4]

I'm struggling! Who thought tying bows was so difficult? After painstaking hours of trying to figure out how to tie it I came up with this. Be honest now... If it looks deformed tell me

And that's with all the goods minus envelopes! I printed the inner and outter ones envelopes myself and they turned out pretty good

Ooo your invites are so pretty! I like the bow! Where did you get your invites?