Wedding Details

[Sam and Ben 2]

Ben's band is going to be plain ol' white gold, no stone. My only stipulation was that it be white gold, since both of mine (engagement/wedding) will be too.

We already spent too much on my engagement ring, imo (I picked it out, about $150 more than I walked in saying we'd spend, of course), but thankfully the wedding ring I came across that I liked is fairly generic and about half of the cost that my engagement ring was. 'Course, Ben can't wear his to work or anything, but at the very least, I want it to be decent quality so it can last. He best agree, heh.

Outside of that, our marriage license and perhaps a very basic dress to make myself photo-pretty (right! ), that's it for our wedding costs.

Maaaaybe a bottle of champagne to enjoy as we go "whew, we did it already" afterwards.

Ashen, I don't think you sound snobby at all. It's your ring. Hundreds of dollars are often spent on a dress that's only worn once... but your ring is something you will always (usually) have on you. It's something you want to last, so going too cheap on it isn't something you'll want to do.

[ashenflowers 5]

so.... we've started looking at wedding bands finally. Since now we know we actually CAN get married. lol I'm trying not to scream in disgust at the fact that my fiance seems to want to really cheap out on wedding rings and get one for himself that's sterling silver and about $50. I'm actually kind of insulted by that. We're also having issues finding one that matches my ring. We found ONE that matches 99%.. it's really quite good, but it's twice the amount we wanted to spend (it's $500). So yeah, we're having a hard time finding something else. I'm not sure what to do. We thought about getting a new set for me or something, and getting it online, but are still having trouble finding something at reasonable cost. I'm actually getting really frustrated by this. I mean, it's our WEDDING RINGS... I'd think they'd be something kind of important. We've cheaped out on EVERYTHING with this wedding... I hate to think my wedding ring is going to be cheap as well (I already know my engagement ring is...)...

This makes me sound really pretentious and snobby, I know. But trust me when I say I'm not one of those people who has to spend big bucks. I just want something NICE... not crappy cubic zirconia and sterling silver.

I've been married before, and my thoughts have always been that the wedding rings are a lasting thing, whereas the wedding comes and goes. So I'd buy the $500 band that matches yours and tell him to get over it. Won't you be buying his ring anyway? Isn't it ultimately your decision?

I don't think $500 is that outrageous for a nice man's wedding band . . .

I'd like to say I am buying his ring, but we can't really follow that tradition, as I don't have the money. I still have to make a final payment on my wedding dress, and cover some costs for moving and all the extras that come up, as well as paying off my credit card. I'm basically living from paycheck to paycheck as well, so don't have any savings. He makes more money than I do, but also has a lot to pay for right now with everything going on. He has a valid argument in asking where the money is coming from to pay for it, but seriously, like we can't put a couple hundred bucks on a credit card or something for a month or two, in order to get something a little better for the rest of our LIVES?! ugh.. I dunno.. I'm just irritated.

[ashenflowers 5]

Ben's band is going to be plain ol' white gold, no stone. My only stipulation was that it be white gold, since both of mine (engagement/wedding) will be too.

We already spent too much on my engagement ring, imo (I picked it out, about $150 more than I walked in saying we'd spend, of course), but thankfully the wedding ring I came across that I liked is fairly generic and about half of the cost that my engagement ring was. 'Course, Ben can't wear his to work or anything, but at the very least, I want it to be decent quality so it can last. He best agree, heh.

Outside of that, our marriage license and perhaps a very basic dress to make myself photo-pretty (right! ), that's it for our wedding costs.

Maaaaybe a bottle of champagne to enjoy as we go "whew, we did it already" afterwards.

Ashen, I don't think you sound snobby at all. It's your ring. Hundreds of dollars are often spent on a dress that's only worn once... but your ring is something you will always (usually) have on you. It's something you want to last, so going too cheap on it isn't something you'll want to do.

We don't have a lot of wedding costs either really. But that said, it feels like it's already bigger than I want. I'm struggling with it being such a small wedding, yet the people going (our parents) are wanting it to be nicer than it is... mostly his parents though. They want to pay for some things, and take us out to dinner, etc. I feel like I still need to get my hair done, and get flowers, and new shoes, and blah blah blah. We're having a photographer too, cause I honestly don't think our second reception thing in Canada is going to happen. So I want some memory of it. lol It's a headache, and I don't even know why, and as I've complained before, Dan sucks. LOL

Anyways... thanks for the comments re: the ring. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. I stare at this ring EVERY day, and other people ask to see it sometimes, and I find myself looking at other women's rings. I'll be honest in saying I don't exactly like my engagement ring that much. It's ok, but wouldn't have been my first choice. So I guess that makes it harder.

[Arabella 4]

Ben's band is going to be plain ol' white gold, no stone. My only stipulation was that it be white gold, since both of mine (engagement/wedding) will be too.

We already spent too much on my engagement ring, imo (I picked it out, about $150 more than I walked in saying we'd spend, of course), but thankfully the wedding ring I came across that I liked is fairly generic and about half of the cost that my engagement ring was. 'Course, Ben can't wear his to work or anything, but at the very least, I want it to be decent quality so it can last. He best agree, heh.

Outside of that, our marriage license and perhaps a very basic dress to make myself photo-pretty (right! ), that's it for our wedding costs.

Maaaaybe a bottle of champagne to enjoy as we go "whew, we did it already" afterwards.

Ashen, I don't think you sound snobby at all. It's your ring. Hundreds of dollars are often spent on a dress that's only worn once... but your ring is something you will always (usually) have on you. It's something you want to last, so going too cheap on it isn't something you'll want to do.

We don't have a lot of wedding costs either really. But that said, it feels like it's already bigger than I want. I'm struggling with it being such a small wedding, yet the people going (our parents) are wanting it to be nicer than it is... mostly his parents though. They want to pay for some things, and take us out to dinner, etc. I feel like I still need to get my hair done, and get flowers, and new shoes, and blah blah blah. We're having a photographer too, cause I honestly don't think our second reception thing in Canada is going to happen. So I want some memory of it. lol It's a headache, and I don't even know why, and as I've complained before, Dan sucks. LOL

Anyways... thanks for the comments re: the ring. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. I stare at this ring EVERY day, and other people ask to see it sometimes, and I find myself looking at other women's rings. I'll be honest in saying I don't exactly like my engagement ring that much. It's ok, but wouldn't have been my first choice. So I guess that makes it harder.

I'm really a wedding ring person. It's a huge deal to me. You're right, you look at it every day. It lasts for a life time. My mom has worn the same ring for 44 years and it means a lot to her children as well as to her because we know it stands for the lasting marriage my parents have had.

My first wedding ring was sort of a "here, give her this ring" type of deal (I was 18 and his grandmother gave him a ring she had in her jewelry collection). My ex wore a borrowed ring to the ceremony, and then went through about 3 other rings in the 8 years we were married. I also had a total of 3 rings in the 8 years we were together (anniversaries and upgrades).

I don't want an upgrade. I don't want a bunch of wedding rings. I want the one ring we wore on the day of our wedding and said our vows to be the ring on my finger when I am buried (unless it gets lost or stolen of course). I also like the idea of "matching" rings, because people can tell that we are a couple.

I lucked out with my engagement ring. I was terrified that it would be really cheap/basic, or something that I wouldn't like (mostly because Sean is so young and inexperienced).

Well, you wouldn't believe it but it was exactly the kind of ring I was hoping for - only way better.

Because I am so into rings, I had been dreaming about what I wanted, and had it all planned out in my head. I wanted a half carat princess cut diamond (I felt like 1 carat was too much for my fingers, and I wanted the princess cut because he calls me his princess). I wanted colored side stones because I like a little bit of color. I was thinking of sapphires because blue is my favorite color, and something like a square cut to go with the princess cut center stone.

I told him none of this because I really wanted it to be his decision. I wanted to be able to look at the ring and know that he picked it out all by himself. He insisted on this as well. He never asked for my input at all. The only thing I knew was that it was going to be white gold or at least white and yellow gold mixed to match our wedding bands that we bought back in July of 2008 and wear on our right hands.

He said one day he was sitting at his desk when he suddenly knew the perfect ring for me. He went to 8 different jewelry stores until he found one that would make the engagement ring (and for the price that he wanted because he is quite the bargainer).

This is what he ended up getting me. I was shocked beyond belief. To this day he tells everyone I didn't say "yes" right away because I was so mezmorized by the ring . . . When I saw the ring, it was exactly like the ring I had dreamed about . . . only better!

So this is a crappy picture of me, but as you can see the ring is a half carat princess cut diamond (because I am his princess) with blue topaz (his birthstone) heart-shaped side stones (because he loves me so much- awwww!!).

As you can imagine my jaw dropped and I was so stunned that I couldn't speak.

Anyway, I love this ring and whenever I look at it I think about how well he knows me, how much time and effort he put into thinking of it and finding it, and how romantic he is. (sorry to hyjack your topic . . .)

Edited November 27, 2009 by Arabella

[Rhiannercakes 14]

We're making sure we're getting good wedding rings.

The last thing I want is the ring to fade or crack or something.

Plain old bands for us too.

[Sam and Ben 2]

Awh, Arabella. Sounds like you found yourself quite the match, with proof in the ring!

Ben was admittedly inexperienced, so he nailed the proposal without the ring and we went to pick one out the next day.

Despite the saleswoman pointing out that my choice wasn't an "engagement" ring per se - it's actually a wedding band - I fell in love with it once I saw it. I actually had four rings picked out, the other three being within "our" (aka, my chosen) price range... and then this one.

I asked Ben which he liked better on me and he said my eyes lit up when I tried on this last one, so he was making the final choice. Haha. The woman kept telling me something about solitary versus the band of diamonds, but I didn't really care. I liked this one, and my wedding band has a row of inset diamonds that compliments this ring rather nicely, methinks.

Heck, after all of this immigration stuff, we won't be able to afford anything, let alone upgrade rings. We best like the ones we choose!

[Rhiannercakes 14]

I'll probably be getting my wedding ring at the same place I got my engagement ring. I was very impressed by them and their prices are good.

My fiance's sister is going to be buying my fiance's wedding ring, I find it strange, but.... if they want to, they can. Just need to make sure we can find matching ones, even though he really wants platinum.

We were also over at the in laws of my fiance's sister and I'd feel SO bad if I didn't invite them.

They gave me lunch and asked about my trip and how I was doing. We're going over to their place for Christmas too.

I think I'll be inviting them even though my parents think it's weird.

Edited November 27, 2009 by Rhiann

[Arabella 4]

Yay Sam I love your ring! I'm glad you didn't listen to that silly ol' sales lady. That's why Sean went to so many stores, they tried to tell him it couldn't be made with the heart shaped stones, or that it would cost way more than he thought it should.

Back to Ashenflowers- I know it's probably bad advice, but I'd put the $500 ring on a credit card. Hopefully you'll get cash as a gift from some relatives and be able to pay it back? It's much easier to get the ring now rather than after the wedding (for sentimental reasons mostly). Could your folks loan you the money or buy it as a gift?

[ashenflowers 5]

Yay Sam I love your ring! I'm glad you didn't listen to that silly ol' sales lady. That's why Sean went to so many stores, they tried to tell him it couldn't be made with the heart shaped stones, or that it would cost way more than he thought it should.

Back to Ashenflowers- I know it's probably bad advice, but I'd put the $500 ring on a credit card. Hopefully you'll get cash as a gift from some relatives and be able to pay it back? It's much easier to get the ring now rather than after the wedding (for sentimental reasons mostly). Could your folks loan you the money or buy it as a gift?

No, they don't have the money. We're not even exchanging gifts for Christmas (aside from stockings and a couple small things). It's not a good time. Any extra money they have is going towards traveling out for the wedding. We're not really getting gifts from anyone. No bridal shower, or anything either. I doubt he'd put it on a credit card, but I could be wrong. He's really fighting it, and whining about where the money's going to come from and how we have so many other things to pay for.

[Sam and Ben 2]

I know that, for our engagement ring, Jared's gave us a payment plan with 0% interest and we had a choice of 3 or 6 months. We choose 3, as we had originally planned on just paying it all off at once. I'm sure they can't be the only store that offers some sort of in-house incentive.

[ashenflowers 5]

I know that, for our engagement ring, Jared's gave us a payment plan with 0% interest and we had a choice of 3 or 6 months. We choose 3, as we had originally planned on just paying it all off at once. I'm sure they can't be the only store that offers some sort of in-house incentive.

No, I'm sure they're not. We ran into a problem with that at People's. I won't get approved for in-store credit, and since Dan doesn't live in Canada anymore, they won't accept him.

He wants to buy it online, cause... again.. the cheapness factor. So I guess it will end up going on his credit card anyways. I don't know what his problem is really. He just doesn't understand the significance of the ring, and doesn't think it should matter if it's just a ####### $50 ring that'll make his finger green. As Danu said (we've been MSNing about it.. lol), it's like a cracker jack prize... LOL

[Sam and Ben 2]

Out of curiosity, why are you guys purchasing your wedding set from Canada?

[ashenflowers 5]

Out of curiosity, why are you guys purchasing your wedding set from Canada?

We're not necessarily... we just happened to go shopping for some after we were approved for the visa. Or rather, after we got back to London.

I'm a bit worried about leaving it until I get there, because we'll only have about 2 weeks before the wedding and don't know if that'll be enough time. I'm hoping he gets a chance to look around a bit in the next few weeks, but I don't know.

[Arabella 4]

I know that, for our engagement ring, Jared's gave us a payment plan with 0% interest and we had a choice of 3 or 6 months. We choose 3, as we had originally planned on just paying it all off at once. I'm sure they can't be the only store that offers some sort of in-house incentive.

No, I'm sure they're not. We ran into a problem with that at People's. I won't get approved for in-store credit, and since Dan doesn't live in Canada anymore, they won't accept him.

He wants to buy it online, cause... again.. the cheapness factor. So I guess it will end up going on his credit card anyways. I don't know what his problem is really. He just doesn't understand the significance of the ring, and doesn't think it should matter if it's just a ####### $50 ring that'll make his finger green. As Danu said (we've been MSNing about it.. lol), it's like a cracker jack prize... LOL

Well here is a website that has white gold rings at a good price. I am not sure what the $500 ring looks like. Is there a design or something on it? Is it white gold?

www.superiorweddingrings.com

Click HERE to look at the white gold rings.

[Arabella 4]

Out of curiosity, why are you guys purchasing your wedding set from Canada?

We're not necessarily... we just happened to go shopping for some after we were approved for the visa. Or rather, after we got back to London.

I'm a bit worried about leaving it until I get there, because we'll only have about 2 weeks before the wedding and don't know if that'll be enough time. I'm hoping he gets a chance to look around a bit in the next few weeks, but I don't know.

Cheer up Ashen . . . if ya'll can't afford a nice ring right now then just have him get one for an anniversary.

Guys loose their rings anyway . . .

It sounds like you have yours already, right?