Married To A German :)

[Eveline 9]

I am the German part of the couple, but I would like to join this thread! I also find the "German German thread" a little exclusive, because the conversations seem to revolve around the details of the daily lives of the members who all seem to know each other very well. There is nothing wrong with that, but I don't get into reading it. Maybe I will once I've moved to the US and miss my compatriots! For now, I am much more interested in reading a German-American thread.

That is right. The thread was started back in early 2005 so we kinda got to know each other over the past four years. When all the visa stuff is over, there's not much left to talk about than recipes, travelling and children. Also, a lot of the members there had babies, met each other in person etc...so it's more of a family kinda feeling which might be a little off putting when you first find the thread. I have actually never thought about how other people might feel when they read it first but you are definetely right.

As for Americans learning German....my husband tries so hard but he mixes things up a whole lot. I think he speaks a little more German than our 2 year old son but it's a struggle for him. I don't speak much German to him because there is just no need for him to really learn to speak the language. Both my parents speak English, we live in America and my English is good enough to get through everyday life.

[Dr. ZoSo 0]

I am the German part of the couple, but I would like to join this thread! I also find the "German German thread" a little exclusive, because the conversations seem to revolve around the details of the daily lives of the members who all seem to know each other very well. There is nothing wrong with that, but I don't get into reading it. Maybe I will once I've moved to the US and miss my compatriots! For now, I am much more interested in reading a German-American thread.

That is right. The thread was started back in early 2005 so we kinda got to know each other over the past four years. When all the visa stuff is over, there's not much left to talk about than recipes, travelling and children. Also, a lot of the members there had babies, met each other in person etc...so it's more of a family kinda feeling which might be a little off putting when you first find the thread. I have actually never thought about how other people might feel when they read it first but you are definetely right.

As for Americans learning German....my husband tries so hard but he mixes things up a whole lot. I think he speaks a little more German than our 2 year old son but it's a struggle for him. I don't speak much German to him because there is just no need for him to really learn to speak the language. Both my parents speak English, we live in America and my English is good enough to get through everyday life.

My wife also plans on teaching our kids (when we have some) both languages. I don't know how that will work out, but I can forsee my wife and my child having secret conversations behind my back .

[Philosykos 0]

My wife also plans on teaching our kids (when we have some) both languages. I don't know how that will work out, but I can forsee my wife and my child having secret conversations behind my back .

From what I have seen it is quite difficult if the only person speaking German to the kids is the mother, when the parents speak another language among each other, and the surrounding language outside the house is not German. The kids will understand German, but they'll reply in the 'dominating' language. It is much easier to get your kids to become truly bilingual if the language the parents speak with each other and with the children is different from what they hear and speak outside the house.

@Philosykos:

And might I say that you speak VERY good English! I am pleasantly surprised and I love it!

Thank you...

[Aubrey 10]

I am the German part of the couple, but I would like to join this thread! I also find the "German German thread" a little exclusive, because the conversations seem to revolve around the details of the daily lives of the members who all seem to know each other very well. There is nothing wrong with that, but I don't get into reading it. Maybe I will once I've moved to the US and miss my compatriots! For now, I am much more interested in reading a German-American thread.

That is right. The thread was started back in early 2005 so we kinda got to know each other over the past four years. When all the visa stuff is over, there's not much left to talk about than recipes, travelling and children. Also, a lot of the members there had babies, met each other in person etc...so it's more of a family kinda feeling which might be a little off putting when you first find the thread. I have actually never thought about how other people might feel when they read it first but you are definetely right.

As for Americans learning German....my husband tries so hard but he mixes things up a whole lot. I think he speaks a little more German than our 2 year old son but it's a struggle for him. I don't speak much German to him because there is just no need for him to really learn to speak the language. Both my parents speak English, we live in America and my English is good enough to get through everyday life.

Ah, well that's pretty fortunate about the language issue. My future father-in-law has some broken English skills (he tries, just hasn't used it much in so long), but my future mother-in-law doesn't know any. It's a major thing to breach. I've never been great with languages, and right now my plate is too full to even make an attempt. But it's on the agenda, if nothing else to give my Schatz a break when his mom tries to take over everything when we visit. Folding his clothes, trying to pack for him, reminding him where to find plates in the house he grew up in... poor guy! But anyhow I find it a hard switch for me to make, as all the language comparisons I try to make only make it more difficult (Spanish, Ancient Greek, little French). Ugh. =/

Someone further up mentioned being laughed at when they spoke -- I got that a couple times too, but not just with German. I think it gets better the more you speak up, even if you say things wrong. Give yourself a break, though, speaking is always the last to come.

[Dr. ZoSo 0]

I am the German part of the couple, but I would like to join this thread! I also find the "German German thread" a little exclusive, because the conversations seem to revolve around the details of the daily lives of the members who all seem to know each other very well. There is nothing wrong with that, but I don't get into reading it. Maybe I will once I've moved to the US and miss my compatriots! For now, I am much more interested in reading a German-American thread.

That is right. The thread was started back in early 2005 so we kinda got to know each other over the past four years. When all the visa stuff is over, there's not much left to talk about than recipes, travelling and children. Also, a lot of the members there had babies, met each other in person etc...so it's more of a family kinda feeling which might be a little off putting when you first find the thread. I have actually never thought about how other people might feel when they read it first but you are definetely right.

As for Americans learning German....my husband tries so hard but he mixes things up a whole lot. I think he speaks a little more German than our 2 year old son but it's a struggle for him. I don't speak much German to him because there is just no need for him to really learn to speak the language. Both my parents speak English, we live in America and my English is good enough to get through everyday life.

Ah, well that's pretty fortunate about the language issue. My future father-in-law has some broken English skills (he tries, just hasn't used it much in so long), but my future mother-in-law doesn't know any. It's a major thing to breach. I've never been great with languages, and right now my plate is too full to even make an attempt. But it's on the agenda, if nothing else to give my Schatz a break when his mom tries to take over everything when we visit. Folding his clothes, trying to pack for him, reminding him where to find plates in the house he grew up in... poor guy! But anyhow I find it a hard switch for me to make, as all the language comparisons I try to make only make it more difficult (Spanish, Ancient Greek, little French). Ugh. =/

Someone further up mentioned being laughed at when they spoke -- I got that a couple times too, but not just with German. I think it gets better the more you speak up, even if you say things wrong. Give yourself a break, though, speaking is always the last to come.

My inlaws are in the exact same boat.

I do enjoy it when they come over to visit though. It's sort of levels the playing field.

[Dr. ZoSo 0]

Just wanted to get the picture aspect of this thread started. Anyone have any pictures they want to share?

I have attached one, dont know if it will work though. I may need a few "practice" posts to get it right so if you see nothing please be patient.

[veronicavonn 7]

I have lots of pictures of Germany.

What do you want to see? lol

[Eveline 9]

From what I have seen it is quite difficult if the only person speaking German to the kids is the mother, when the parents speak another language among each other, and the surrounding language outside the house is not German. The kids will understand German, but they'll reply in the 'dominating' language. It is much easier to get your kids to become truly bilingual if the language the parents speak with each other and with the children is different from what they hear and speak outside the house.

That is kind of hard to do when you only have two languages you speak. We either speak German or Englisch. We're in Germany right now and Adam understands everything my grandparents say. They might not understand everything he says but then again..how much do you understand when a 2year old is talking. I will send him to German Saturday School when he is older and hope for the best. Eventually the kids will pick up the language, they might not be perfect at it and might not know how to write it but at least they can communicate and I don't want to miss that one chance to teach them German. After all, they have the citizenship and might want to move back to Germany one day.

[Dr. ZoSo 0]

I have lots of pictures of Germany.

What do you want to see? lol

Anything you want to post. With people, without, doesnt matter!

[veronicavonn 7]

Here are a few photos:

[panterchen 1]

I would also like to join this thread for the reasons mentioned earlier by Philo...!

I just got married to 'MY' American about 4 weeks ago and always think it is interesting to read what can go 'wrong' in German-American relationships. We have so many misunderstandings just because of different cultural interpretations even though my English is not really any barrier to communication between us.

I would love to see my husband speak German one day. After all, I will try to teach our kids (that don't exist yet) my mother tongue. And I would love to see him talk to my dad without my translation in between them. I know they would have a lot to say to each other. Unfortunately, my dad doesn't speak any English and my mom can get along but it is not enough to carry on a fluent conversation.

We are playing with the idea of maybe one day moving 'back' to Germany. Not just because it is my home but also because he liked it a lot! What about you guys? Was it always clear that you would want to live in the US together with your fiancés/spouses?

[Philosykos 0]

From what I have seen it is quite difficult if the only person speaking German to the kids is the mother, when the parents speak another language among each other, and the surrounding language outside the house is not German. The kids will understand German, but they'll reply in the 'dominating' language. It is much easier to get your kids to become truly bilingual if the language the parents speak with each other and with the children is different from what they hear and speak outside the house.

That is kind of hard to do when you only have two languages you speak. We either speak German or Englisch. We're in Germany right now and Adam understands everything my grandparents say. They might not understand everything he says but then again..how much do you understand when a 2year old is talking. I will send him to German Saturday School when he is older and hope for the best. Eventually the kids will pick up the language, they might not be perfect at it and might not know how to write it but at least they can communicate and I don't want to miss that one chance to teach them German. After all, they have the citizenship and might want to move back to Germany one day.

What I wrote wasn't meant as a recommendation what you should do, the situation is what it is. I was just saying that I observed that it's easier for the kids to become bilingual if, say, you live in Germany with your American husband to whom you speak English and who speaks English with the kids (and you sometimes do so as well), so the kids hear English at home and German outside, than if you live in America, speak German to the kids but English to your husband, and they hear English outside as well. In that latter situation they won't really have enough of an incentive to learn German. A German playgroup or Saturday School would be a great idea to help show them that their mother isn't the only one speaking that weirdo language.

[Dr. ZoSo 0]

Here are a few photos:

Pictures didnt work.

From what I have seen it is quite difficult if the only person speaking German to the kids is the mother, when the parents speak another language among each other, and the surrounding language outside the house is not German. The kids will understand German, but they'll reply in the 'dominating' language. It is much easier to get your kids to become truly bilingual if the language the parents speak with each other and with the children is different from what they hear and speak outside the house.

That is kind of hard to do when you only have two languages you speak. We either speak German or Englisch. We're in Germany right now and Adam understands everything my grandparents say. They might not understand everything he says but then again..how much do you understand when a 2year old is talking. I will send him to German Saturday School when he is older and hope for the best. Eventually the kids will pick up the language, they might not be perfect at it and might not know how to write it but at least they can communicate and I don't want to miss that one chance to teach them German. After all, they have the citizenship and might want to move back to Germany one day.

What I wrote wasn't meant as a recommendation what you should do, the situation is what it is. I was just saying that I observed that it's easier for the kids to become bilingual if, say, you live in Germany with your American husband to whom you speak English and who speaks English with the kids (and you sometimes do so as well), so the kids hear English at home and German outside, than if you live in America, speak German to the kids but English to your husband, and they hear English outside as well. In that latter situation they won't really have enough of an incentive to learn German. A German playgroup or Saturday School would be a great idea to help show them that their mother isn't the only one speaking that weirdo language.

I like that...."weirdo language". I guess from a childs perspective that might be what it's seen as.

[Dr. ZoSo 0]

Here's a new topic for discussion:

How often does your German other half get home to visit?

My wife and her family have a neat system worked out where someone from Germany comes over one year (she has a very large family) and we go see them the next. While this is a very good system which allows her to see some/all of her family every year, it can get a little expensive.

We were just in German last year in Sept-Oct. So this year should be her family's turn to come over but there has been a new development. Her brother and his fiancé are expecting their first child in Sept so my wife will be going home this year as well. Unfortunately I will not be going. Don't get me wrong, I would love to go, but the cost is just not acceptable to go back to back years.

The nice part is her father just retired 1.5 years ago so now she has much more time to spend with her whole family.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

My inlaws are in the exact same boat.

I do enjoy it when they come over to visit though. It's sort of levels the playing field.

Ha. I've been waiting five, six years for my in-laws to do that. They keep saying they are going to come and they want to meet my family, but constantly end up wussing out. Money or time is definitely not the issue with them.

As to how often we go back, we met some other Germans in the park a few days ago. One of them complained about being extremely homesick in the first few months. I asked my husband in the car if he ever felt homesick. He said that he didn't really think so. So going back is something we do only during major holidays. I think if my in-laws wuss out again, we want to go back next Easter. It's a priority, but a lower one because it is not cheap and my husband is not homesick.