Married To A German :)

[Liebi 0]

@Weevil - you can often buy Quark here in the stores. I discovered that Trader Joe's carries it sometimes and we have a German deli that also carries it.

Just finished my last bit of Milka...sadness.

If you have access to a military installation - the Commissary carries Milka as well.

I just realized you live in WA as well - I find they sell Quark in alot of places up here (I lived in CO and MO before and didn't find it quite as often or if I did find it it really wasn't that fresh), then I noticed Appel Farms is located up here

Otto:

I voted in the upcoming election. Send my stuff off 3 or 4 weeks ago.

panterchen:

I agree with Aubrey, I think they tell you not to fly anymore after 6 or 7 months (?) and out of curiousity, how do you plan on giving birth in Germany... referring to health insurance?

My friend just had her 2nd child here in the US. While everything went well and she had no complains about the doctors or the hospital whatsoever, she said having her 1st child in Germany was a better experience. Of course being in your native country is a big plus, but she also said that they did way more check ups and stuff like that there. I believe that is because the German health care system is set up to pay all that extra money for all these extra check ups, they just don't do that here with costs exploding the way they do right now.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

And yes. Germany is a far better place to have a child than in USA. Not only is the healthcare better, but the financial planning is as well.

I agree with the financial part wholeheartedly. As to the rest, I had a mixed bag experience with the prenatal/intrapartum/postnatal care in Germany. I can't say if it would have been better in the US or not. I've never had a baby here to compare and never will.

I found my prenatal care to be adequate. My intrapartum care left a lot to be desired and I was only in labor for 2.5 hours there. Here's a clue: Not every woman wants a painful childbirth by choice. But my attending midwife was so moonbat for that ####### that she never took me seriously in that department. There is no excusing the hell they put me through because of their absolutely asinine assumptions. The result was I was alive, baby alive. And that is all that is good I can say about that.

Immediately postnatal, I had a huge tear that they stitched up without the anesthetic working on one side. I told the doctor this and he basically told me that it was all in my head and I should suck it up. The pediatrician discovered my daughter had a broken collarbone, so not even the baby made it out totally fine. I gave birth in mid-morning and then spent the rest of the day completely out of my gourd. Yay, I guess. I had a weird fever that no one could figure out. It turned out a month later, they found out why, but why the doctor didn't see the obvious problem at the 3 day ultrasound, no one had an answer for.

What I really found interesting though was that although the nurse I met seemed to be moonbat for natural birth, the neonatal nurses didn't seem to be moonbat for breastfeeding. They had very, very little patience for it and were downright rude and nasty to some of the other women there, particularly when they had the audacity to express pain. Not exactly what I had expected to expect.

But despite my terrible experience in the hospital, I was satisfied with my care in other areas. I liked my GP, I liked my dental care, I liked my kid's pediatrician. My regular GYN was fine. Go figure. YMMV. Etc.

[Falconslove 0]

I have noticed that the German community has their own thread with many replies that would take me years to read (because it's in German). How about those of us whom are married to a German man/woman?

Anything you would like to talk about or get advice on? I know from time to time I would like to air some concerns/comments.

So lets make this the Married to a German thread where all of the Americans whom are married to Germans can come and discuss our thoughts and issues.

Hi ZoSo,

I am of German decent who just married an Egyptian. Been living in the USA for a while but never lost my mother tongue. So, if I can help anyone with translations etc, feel free to get in touch with me.

[dd0914 0]

i am also married to a german man. we just finished our dcf process from frankfurt and my husband and stepdaughter got to ny in june. finally our journey is over !!!

[CartTart26 0]

Hello everyone,

Just wanted to pop in and say hello and thanks for advice and convos you all have had over the past few months. They have really helped me better understand my relationship with my German bf.

A little about us:

I'm a flight attendant and we met in the Atlanta airport December 08 while he was here visiting his father. I'm from Atlanta and he's from Hamburg but he currently resides in Koln. I love Germany and have visited him a couple of times already. I would like to learn German (his English is far better than my German will EVER be) to show him that I am making an effort to put our relationship on equal footing since it's cheaper for him to call me so he initiates everything and we always speak English. He's suggested I get Rosetta Stone to get started then he will try and help me with the rest. But I think it's hot when he translates for me so I'm not in a hurry to learn...*shakes fits at German sexiness*

We still struggle with a few things (or maybe I just do ); for instance, I am still a little jealous/suspicious of his women friends even though he says they are just friends. He says it's just my 'American' view of relationships/friendships. And he's 29 and still in college, while I'm 26 with an BA and MA (I really don't care about that but at 29 most men in the US are more established).

Another interesting note about us, he's W. African and German, raised in Germany, and I'm African-American living in the South. He loves Hip Hop, Atlanta, and soul food. He wanted me to bring him lemon pepper seasoning and parmesan cheese.

I can't wait to see where our relationship goes and share more stories with you all.

[veronicavonn 7]

@dd0914 - Congrats on making your journey! Please update your timeline for those of us (me!) who plan on starting the DCF process soon.

@CartTart26 - Welcome to VJ! It's fun to hear how people met. I like your story as well.

If you two do end up wanting to get married and tie the knot, VJ will become a diary to you. Keep us updated!

Edited September 29, 2009 by veronicavonn

[Merk 0]

I am living in Germany ( I am a US citizen) and my husband is Turkish. I was wanting to know, if anyone can help, about Turkish citizens visiting Germany. What paperwork or Visa needs to be filled out to have family members just come for a vist?

[Aubrey 10]

Let's try to revive our little thread here a bit, shall we?

So, how are the German SO's enjoying the big health care debates? I taught my husband about filibusters recently... I think he found it disturbing how inefficient things can be in the Senate.

Did anyone attend Oktoberfests last month? We went to one nearby. Let's just say that it was redeemed only by it's good beer!

[Anna C. 4]

@ Wacken: I am really sorry for your experience. I believe a woman should be able to choose the kind of birth she wants (whether that is an elective csection, epidurals, homebirths). See, I want a natural home birth, and it is illegal in my state (Wyoming). That is not right either. I have to put up with obgyns which I think are only there for high risk pregnancies. CPMs are not considered legal here which makes a homebirth impossible. In Germany, it is easy to find a homebirth midwife and it will be covered by health insurance. In my situation a CNM is legal, but the next one lives 100 miles from me, and we have lots of closed roads here. Go figure. The birth I want is basically denied by stupid laws.

And if I have a breech baby I have to fly to Germany to avoid a csection! What freedom is that?! (u can fly til 36 weeks)

Ok, maternity care in the USA is my pet peeve, sorry

@ Veronica: You can find the kind of practitioner you want in Germany. make up your mind whether you want to go natural or epidural - all things are possible. Call or have hubbie call practices to find out what they support. E.g. my sister in Braunschweig switched from an obgyn who pushed for csection cause it's easier as early as 30 weeks to a midwife who supported her wish for a vaginal delivery. The mw didn't give her ####### for getting a shot of demerol. Make sure you like your mw/ob - like my sister did - the mw supported whatever she needed or felt she needed. Ooohh so exciting. Pregnancy is such a wonderful time!

Btw- when I got pregnant, I was sure I wanted an epidural (my boss in NYC said it is so cool... but the higher risk of csection, my worst nightmare, made me change my mind) and would breastfeed for a maximum of 6 months (turns out, WHO recommends 2 years for a ton of reasons). Gosh did I change my mind... Things can change a lot with becoming a parent. I chose things that I would have thought to be super dooper weird just 4 years ago. I would have made fun of a mom like me back then!!!!

@ Merk: sorry, no idea!

Not much German stuff going on up here in the middle of nowhere, but we dressed up as Bavarians for Halloween, hehehe. A lot of fun!

Edited November 22, 2009 by Anna C.

[Antje/Terry 1]

Hey!

We've got a question: Has anyone filed I-130 for a German during the last year? How long did it take you from start to the interview?

We are going to start in January and are eager to know what we have to expect.

Thanks for all the help!

[Chrito 8]

We started October 2008 and I came to the US end of May 2009. We had some delays due to USCIS and NVC, but all in all it didn't take that long. Read carefully through the guides here.

Good luck!

[Antje/Terry 1]

Thank you for your post! That is a lot faster than we thought. I always heard about 12 months.

We have been reading through everything very carefully and I hope we will be as fast as y'all!

[jundp 191]

Hey there, fellow Germericans I've been crazy busy with work, but I'm on Christmas break now so I can visit VJ more.

@Wacken, both I and my husband are horrified by your experience. His mother is a midwife. If we were to have another child, I'd want her to take care of me during my pregnancy. Unfortunately it seems like you just had a bad hospital/midwife/experience and that's sad.

[Kar_98 10]

Hey!

We've got a question: Has anyone filed I-130 for a German during the last year? How long did it take you from start to the interview?

We are going to start in January and are eager to know what we have to expect.

Thanks for all the help!

Filed some time in January 2009, actual green card in hand mid May of 2009.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

Hey there, fellow Germericans I've been crazy busy with work, but I'm on Christmas break now so I can visit VJ more.

@Wacken, both I and my husband are horrified by your experience. His mother is a midwife. If we were to have another child, I'd want her to take care of me during my pregnancy. Unfortunately it seems like you just had a bad hospital/midwife/experience and that's sad.

That's life. Otherwise, I was satisfied with my health care there.

I decided to make my husband happy and consented to making labskaus, his most favorite food. I did most everything but season it, because I have no idea how it should taste. It normally tastes bizarre and looks like someone threw up on your plate. The first time I ate it with my ILs, I barely got it down. Now I will eat it, but it is definitely an acquired taste. Our daughter tried it, but hated it. She'll only eat the eggs you serve with it. My husband definitely enjoyed the meal though, so it was certainly worth it for that.

We've been enjoying everything but driving in the snow here. On Sunday, we went sledding and it was absolutely gorgeous outside. I'm looking forward to going back out later this week.