Moroccans out there or Moroccan SO

[ya falaha! 0]

Thing is the family I talked about the kids were very closely monitored. The parents always knew what was going on. I saw it. Are you trying to tell me ppl raised in Morocco or other MENA countries all grow up with the highest morals and always do what "Allah" wants? I'm sorry but I must disagree. Now if you want to argue that you prefer them to grow up surrounded by the culture that's a better argument. I have this same argument with my husband.

Please don't assume that Americans only want their kids happy and they don't care about their future or their morals. High morals doesn't necessarily come from being Muslim or any other religion. Some of the least moral ppl I've known have been religious.

[Sandrila 1]

I like this point.

It is undeniable the differences in child rearing and children's expectations and behaviors.

But there may be some aspects that would be a little harsh and harder to deal with if we lived there, for me anyway.

I don't mean to butt in because this doesn't have to do with Morocco but it does have to do with Arab/Islamic culture. I know that everyone wants to raise their kids in a MENA country because the theory is that's the only way to ensure a child will be raised "right". I know a very lovely Arab/Muslim family who has raised their children here (4 children) and they turned out wonderfully. The oldest daughter is now almost finished with college after attending an Islamic high school/grade school. She has been married for two years. All of the children are very respectful and none of them have gotten into any trouble re: drugs, alcohol, premarital sex. It can be done here in the states.

Not to knock Moroccans or other MENA folks but I've seen some very unruly, disrespectful children being raised in Egypt. It depends on the environment (parents, home life, friends, school) in which they are raised be it here or in the Mid East/North Africa. I mean look at some of the (sorry) losers that some of the ladies here in MENA have imported. They were raised in MENA and look at how lovely they turned out. Sorry.

so very, very true. good parenting can transcend any and all environments.

YOU GOT TO START WHEN THEY VERY ARE YOUNG

[Sandrila 1]

Thing is the family I talked about the kids were very closely monitored. The parents always knew what was going on. I saw it. Are you trying to tell me ppl raised in Morocco or other MENA countries all grow up with the highest morals and always do what "Allah" wants? I'm sorry but I must disagree. Now if you want to argue that you prefer them to grow up surrounded by the culture that's a better argument. I have this same argument with my husband.

Please don't assume that Americans only want their kids happy and they don't care about their future or their morals. High morals doesn't necessarily come from being Muslim or any other religion. Some of the least moral ppl I've known have been religious.

a very fair and nicely put statement

[ya falaha! 0]

You don't have to send the child when it's small. It would probably be best to send him or her when he or she is old enough to retain anything they've learned. My sons spent 7 months in Yemen (without me) when they were 7 and 9 years old. It proved to be very valuable.

Just to add that my husband insists that any child we would have together will be going to Morocco at least for one full year

to live and learn about his country and Islam. I am not sure how it would work or if I would be able to allow my baby to go without me.

That notion is far off for us though

[adam1 1]

ADAM 1

"to raise our kids based on Islam and Moroccan tradition, you grow up in the US and you know what happens to a lot of kids in high school( drugs, sex...) its not easy to raise kids in the US, Most of them have no respect for there parents, also think about the third generation and their kids. "

this is a valid point and one I agree with. I wish that their was more opportunity for either one of us there but there isnt. Living with his mother is not an option so we would have to be totally self sufficient, which, we can be here, but not there. I would have no qualms to live there but children are here and still need me too much. After some years of prosper here we can invest in a place there maybe and go back but I dont forsee us living there at least for another 8 years, minimal. We will just have to be content visiting.

I hear you Sandrila you have a different situation, if you got the idea it doesn't matter how long it's going to take, we may dies before we fulfill our dreams!!! But at least we are talking and thinking about it. My situation is different I have a house in Morocco and what's important both my family and my wife are over there.

Don't take me wrong I get annoyed when I go to Morocco for vacation, I always feel good when I land back in the US, but two weeks lather I get homesick again. there is no privacy in morocco everybody like to get in your business and show you what to do, but Guess what I want be listening or just accept it and think of it as a culture difference.

[caybee 21]

This is a good discussion.

My husband recently met the American-born son of a Moroccan friend here. He's gone to public school here, Arabic school once a week, stays out of trouble, and is at the top of his class. It encouraged my husband to see a kid raised in this culture turn out so well, and I think he's less anxious about raising our son here. I think, as others have said, the parenting has more to do with it than anything.

[Donna A 4]

we have thought about it for retirement but for now no. that could even change as retirement is along time away.

as for children respecting their parents....my husband daughter wont even call him daddy but his first name due to his ex wife's upbringing of the child. that is not respectable. he might not be her husband any longer but he is his daughters father and should be braught up knowing that. is this how nice muslim woman should be bringing up thier children? so u see ####### happenes everywhere and everyone....not just america.

Edited April 9, 2009 by Donna A

[adam1 1]

Thing is the family I talked about the kids were very closely monitored. The parents always knew what was going on. I saw it. Are you trying to tell me ppl raised in Morocco or other MENA countries all grow up with the highest morals and always do what "Allah" wants? I'm sorry but I must disagree. Now if you want to argue that you prefer them to grow up surrounded by the culture that's a better argument. I have this same argument with my husband.

Please don't assume that Americans only want their kids happy and they don't care about their future or their morals. High morals doesn't necessarily come from being Muslim or any other religion. Some of the least moral ppl I've known have been religious.

I'm not here to argue or push my idea I'm just just answering Kenza question and idea, we are all here talking about an important subject that concern millions of immigrants and there American spouses. I'm not saying you are right or wrong, but what work for you my not work for me or somebody else. at the end you do what works for you? and will do what works for me. My dad lived in France for 7 years and he went back to Morocco, took a huge pay cut, But it made him happy, good bless him with 9 kids all college graduates and five off married and happy, plenty of grand kids....what else. when we were kids we asked our mom to take us to France to live but my dad always refuse to talk about that subject and he was always against it. My dad still have friends that still live in France they come visit him every year and they always reminder him that he made good choose by coming back to Morocco because they compare his children to theirs and they can see the difference.

I don't know what to tell you, you are from here I think you should stay here and do your best and it will work for you. I'm an immigrant and I will always be no mutter how educated I am or how much money I make, I will always be asked where I'm from.

[MoroccanInTexas 24]

Hi Kenza

I was just there four months last year. It is true that the time get longer as you stay, especially in the winter time. Ow, I love summer time in Morocco. However, with a job or business, it is great. Me, and my wife are definetly thinking about that, in the future though.

That's the thing though...in Morocco your either very rich with your own business or poor...the only motivation in me going there is to make a difference some how!

One of my wife condition to marry me was to go back to Morocco one day and raise our kids there, I agreed and I always wanted that. the main reason for that is to raise our kids based on Islam and Moroccan tradition, you grow up in the US and you know what happens to a lot of kids in high school( drugs, sex...) its not easy to raise kids in the US, Most of them have no respect for there parents, also think about the third generation and their kids. you are probably one of the lucky ones you were born and raise in the US and grow up as good Muslim, your father did a good job .

Its not easy to go back to Morocco, espestialy for you because your US is you home and you parents probably still live in the US verces you hubby's parents. if you love your husband you will be happy with him any where he goes. If he ask you this again tell him I will go to the moon with you if you decided so! what ever makes you happy!!

one more thing lets not jump to conclusion after he come over her he may change his mind like your dad

True True...although there is a very strong Muslim community here and there is a Muslim school up to 12th grade...

You guys can move to Dallas where there is many Moslim schools, and Masjids it is like Morocco, but with less drama lol

[adam1 1]

we have thought about it for retirement but for now no. that could even change as retirement is along time away.

as for children respecting their parents....my husband daughter wont even call him daddy but his first name due to his ex wife's upbringing of the child. that is not respectable. he might not be her husband any longer but he is his daughters father and should be braught up knowing that. is this how nice muslim woman should be bringing up thier children? so u see ####### happenes everywhere and everyone....not just america.

Please lets not generalize there is crazy people in every country and religion if we continue to bring good and bad example we will never come up with a result, we want this to be a positive debate.

thanks

Edited April 9, 2009 by adam1

[caybee 21]

Thing is the family I talked about the kids were very closely monitored. The parents always knew what was going on. I saw it. Are you trying to tell me ppl raised in Morocco or other MENA countries all grow up with the highest morals and always do what "Allah" wants? I'm sorry but I must disagree. Now if you want to argue that you prefer them to grow up surrounded by the culture that's a better argument. I have this same argument with my husband.

Please don't assume that Americans only want their kids happy and they don't care about their future or their morals. High morals doesn't necessarily come from being Muslim or any other religion. Some of the least moral ppl I've known have been religious.

I'm not here to argue or push my idea I'm just just answering Kenza question and idea, we are all here talking about an important subject that concern millions of immigrants and there American spouses. I'm not saying you are right or wrong, but what work for you my not work for me or somebody else. at the end you do what works for you? and will do what works for me. My dad lived in France for 7 years and he went back to Morocco, took a huge pay cut, But it made him happy, good bless him with 9 kids all college graduates and five off married and happy, plenty of grand kids....what else. when we were kids we asked our mom to take us to France to live but my dad always refuse to talk about that subject and he was always against it. My dad still have friends that still live in France they come visit him every year and they always reminder him that he made good choose by coming back to Morocco because they compare his children to theirs and they can see the difference.

I don't know what to tell you, you are from here I think you should stay here and do your best and it will work for you. I'm an immigrant and I will always be no mutter how educated I am or how much money I make, I will always be asked where I'm from.

And you said your wife is also Moroccan, right? That does make a difference. Everyone's situation is different, as you say, and each couple has to discuss it and decide what's best for them and their family. It does help me to read about the different options couples have chosen (here, there, there part time, there for a year for the kid to learn the culture well, etc). And it sounds like your father did a good job.

[ya falaha! 0]

Since we're not generalizing how about we stop assuming that the US is a bad place to raise children since according to you most Americans have low morals. So when Mid Easterners behave badly there are crazy ppl in every country but when Americans do that means we have bad morals...in general.

I hate to argue but you do realize that we're American and saying that most of us have low morals and that *our* homeland is a bad place to raise children is offensive.

we have thought about it for retirement but for now no. that could even change as retirement is along time away.

as for children respecting their parents....my husband daughter wont even call him daddy but his first name due to his ex wife's upbringing of the child. that is not respectable. he might not be her husband any longer but he is his daughters father and should be braught up knowing that. is this how nice muslim woman should be bringing up thier children? so u see ####### happenes everywhere and everyone....not just america.

Please lets not generalize there is crazy people in every country and religion if we continue to bring good and bad example we will never come up with a result, we want this to be a positive debate.

thanks

[maggieNomar 0]

My husband has no interest in moving there. He is content with long visits, at least for now. I would like to go for a few months, to learn the language and enjoy the culture as others have said. Don't know if I could live there long term though. Some things about that country just get to me.

[Donna A 4]

Hi Kenza

I was just there four months last year. It is true that the time get longer as you stay, especially in the winter time. Ow, I love summer time in Morocco. However, with a job or business, it is great. Me, and my wife are definetly thinking about that, in the future though.

That's the thing though...in Morocco your either very rich with your own business or poor...the only motivation in me going there is to make a difference some how!

One of my wife condition to marry me was to go back to Morocco one day and raise our kids there, I agreed and I always wanted that. the main reason for that is to raise our kids based on Islam and Moroccan tradition, you grow up in the US and you know what happens to a lot of kids in high school( drugs, sex...) its not easy to raise kids in the US, Most of them have no respect for there parents, also think about the third generation and their kids. you are probably one of the lucky ones you were born and raise in the US and grow up as good Muslim, your father did a good job .

Its not easy to go back to Morocco, espestialy for you because your US is you home and you parents probably still live in the US verces you hubby's parents. if you love your husband you will be happy with him any where he goes. If he ask you this again tell him I will go to the moon with you if you decided so! what ever makes you happy!!

one more thing lets not jump to conclusion after he come over her he may change his mind like your dad

u r kidding right? i think u need to eat ur words and then come back and appoligize to me.

[Donna A 4]

Since we're not generalizing how about we stop assuming that the US is a bad place to raise children since according to you most Americans have low morals. So when Mid Easterners behave badly there are crazy ppl in every country but when Americans do that means we have bad morals...in general.

I hate to argue but you do realize that we're American and saying that most of us have low morals and that *our* homeland is a bad place to raise children is offensive.

we have thought about it for retirement but for now no. that could even change as retirement is along time away.

as for children respecting their parents....my husband daughter wont even call him daddy but his first name due to his ex wife's upbringing of the child. that is not respectable. he might not be her husband any longer but he is his daughters father and should be braught up knowing that. is this how nice muslim woman should be bringing up thier children? so u see ####### happenes everywhere and everyone....not just america.

Please lets not generalize there is crazy people in every country and religion if we continue to bring good and bad example we will never come up with a result, we want this to be a positive debate.

thanks

i guess being raised in a muslim country its good to respect ur parents but not people of other countries. its ok to grow up and offend others tho. guess he missed the lesson on respecting everyone. its ok to go to someone elses country, earn money, send it back to their perfect country and tell how horrible america is.

Edited April 9, 2009 by Donna A