NEED YOUR 2 CENTS (maybe more)

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

I'm a very private person and I have nothing to "hide", but I don't feel like giving my passwords to my husband and I don't expect him to give me his. I think privacy should be respected and I like being trusted. However, if you feel that inappropriate behavior is going on, then don't be afraid to ask questions. It might just look like something it's not. Communication is key.

I absolutely agree with you.

[mr and mrs 187]

Soon thereafter, my fiance' gave me the password to her Friendster. I was FLOORED at her level of trust toward me. You may not know, but a western lady would NEVER do this, even IF she had nothing to hide. It's just a boundary we don't ever cross in our culture.

this is an utterly ridiculous statement to make about 'western women'. seriously? why would you think that its okay to paint all of the women in the western world with one paintbrush? have you met them all?

[HappyDancer 7]

Ooopps... Back to the topic. Let us not start a flame war.

Let's just help out the OP.

[mr and mrs 187]

sorry, sorry. not meant to cause a flare up, but honestly? comments like that deserve responses because they are rubbish.

as to the OP, i have a relationship that doesnt waste time with worrying about cheating. i know im lucky, but i dont feel like spending energy on distrust. i dont care what my fiance is doing, because if he was being naughty, he would tell me. period. and vice versa. im not saying its not a possibility, its just not an imminent problem for us. we spend our time on more positive things.

i think if you have to get to a level of comfort/trust with a person by having access to their emails, etc that is pretty awful. we are individuals. unless you plan on having your partner carry around a tape recorder (or better yet a video recorder!) to document all interactions with other humans to see if there is any infidelity (on any level, thoughts, words, looks, etc), id go with trust. it a lot simpler and a lot more respectful.

all of this is my opinion. its what works for me.

Edited April 10, 2009 by mr and mrs

[abbynorm2 0]

sorry, sorry. not meant to cause a flare up, but honestly? comments like that deserve responses because they are rubbish.

as to the OP, i have a relationship that doesnt waste time with worrying about cheating. i know im lucky, but i dont feel like spending energy on distrust. i dont care what my fiance is doing, because if he was being naughty, he would tell me. period. and vice versa. im not saying its not a possibility, its just not an imminent problem for us. we spend our time on more positive things.

i think if you have to get to a level of comfort/trust with a person by having access to their emails, etc that is pretty awful. we are individuals. unless you plan on having your partner carry around a tape recorder (or better yet a video recorder!) to document all interactions with other humans to see if there is any infidelity (on any level, thoughts, words, looks, etc), id go with trust. it a lot simpler and a lot more respectful.

all of this is my opinion. its what works for me.

Agreed! For me, it would feel like bordering on obsession or Jealousy for someone to want or need that kind of access into my life. I have nothing to hide from her. But if I was with someone who felt that they couldn't trust me without that kind of access, I would not be around long. Because of this thread, we did offer each other our passwords, and did exchange them because that is normal for Pinoys, but I know that I will never violate her trust by logging into her accounts.

[Ban Hammer 13,337]

Soon thereafter, my fiance' gave me the password to her Friendster. I was FLOORED at her level of trust toward me. You may not know, but a western lady would NEVER do this, even IF she had nothing to hide. It's just a boundary we don't ever cross in our culture.

this is an utterly ridiculous statement to make about 'western women'. seriously? why would you think that its okay to paint all of the women in the western world with one paintbrush? have you met them all?

can you turn around slowly, i think i missed a spot while painting.

[HappyDancer 7]

Charles - be nice! It's lenten season.

[Ban Hammer 13,337]

Charles - be nice! It's lenten season.

[CuriousGuy 0]

this is an utterly ridiculous statement to make about 'western women'. seriously? why would you think that its okay to paint all of the women in the western world with one paintbrush? have you met them all?

Okay, let me be more specific to most women that I'm familiar with here, where I've grown up and lived, in the USA. Test my assertion. Ask all of your girlfriends if they would give up their MySpace, or FaceBook passwords to their fiance'. Go ahead, and see how many will assert the need for 'privacy' and would be against it. I'm NOT saying they would refuse out of something to hide with respect to guilt, but rather...perhaps..embarrassment at all of the girl-talk their partner would find.

Indeed, not a flame war. Just a generality I've observed. One of our many differences of culture and upbringing.

[childress_london 3]

this is an utterly ridiculous statement to make about 'western women'. seriously? why would you think that its okay to paint all of the women in the western world with one paintbrush? have you met them all?

Okay, let me be more specific to most women that I'm familiar with here, where I've grown up and lived, in the USA. Test my assertion. Ask all of your girlfriends if they would give up their MySpace, or FaceBook passwords to their fiance'. Go ahead, and see how many will assert the need for 'privacy' and would be against it. I'm NOT saying they would refuse out of something to hide with respect to guilt, but rather...perhaps..embarrassment at all of the girl-talk their partner would find.

Indeed, not a flame war. Just a generality I've observed. One of our many differences of culture and upbringing.

Nope. This Western woman would not want to give up her passwords, as stated previously. I don't think it's necessary. Should I record all of my phone conversations too? :-P