NEED YOUR 2 CENTS (maybe more)

[quakebars 0]

Do you consider it cheating when your partner is chatting online with other people?

What are your thoughts about exchanging passwords with your partners? advisable or no?

How about considering the word TRUST and "innocent until proven guilty" mindset.

is it really easy to do that?

[childress_london 3]

I'm a very private person and I have nothing to "hide", but I don't feel like giving my passwords to my husband and I don't expect him to give me his. I think privacy should be respected and I like being trusted. However, if you feel that inappropriate behavior is going on, then don't be afraid to ask questions. It might just look like something it's not. Communication is key.

[quakebars 0]

i think it all depends on the context of it. for example, i'm replying to you. does that mean nessa should be jealous?

flirting is the context... and i mean like instant messaging chatting which is more personal than posting replies in forums.

[childress_london 3]

Do you consider it cheating when your partner is chatting online with other people?

What are your thoughts about exchanging passwords with your partners? advisable or no?

How about considering the word TRUST and "innocent until proven guilty" mindset.

is it really easy to do that?

It might not be easy, especially in a long distance relationship when you can feel very insecure, but it is definitely necessary to the well being of your relationship to treat it as innocent until proven guilty, even if it feels like torture for you to do so.

[HappyDancer 7]

Do you consider it cheating when your partner is chatting online with other people?

What are your thoughts about exchanging passwords with your partners? advisable or no?

How about considering the word TRUST and "innocent until proven guilty" mindset.

I agree with Rhea here.

And charles - Nessa would be too much of a force should you get out of line, KWIM? LOL

[childress_london 3]

I'm curious as to how you have seen the flirting IMs or know about them?

[Joyce/Jeremy 0]

my fiance has ALL my passwords but i dont have any of his... red flag much? lol

he's a bit of a control freak, i would say. probably bcuz he's still young.

Next question is... have you asked for all his passwords? or you didn't mind because your trust then was intact?...

Can you be open with him on this?... or are you scared that he might get angry?...

I'm sorry about the many questions, didn't mean to be digging into it... I hope I'm not making it difficult...

Just worried...

Oh ... how did you know he's chatting with someone from the opposite sex if he's not by your side?

Just popped out of my head when I looked through your timeline...

[quakebars 0]

out of nowhere some girl messaged me that he has been talking to my fiance. no, they haven't met in person but she just messaged me to say that and nothing more. i am not sure of her motive and i have asked my fiance about it but he totally denied it and told me to just trust him. so, could it mean that he is just farting around? I mean, if he really is chatting with other girls online (probably flirting lol) should i consider that cheating?

[childress_london 3]

The plot thickens. How did she get your ID to message you? Hmmm... Did you reply to her and ask her questions? There are several possibilities here, and one of them still holds that your fiance is innocent. So I still wouldn't jump to conclusions at this point, but be aware.

[HappyDancer 7]

Yes, ask questions and keep validating the info you get.

Edited April 8, 2009 by HappyDancer

[Joyce/Jeremy 0]

I'm a very private person and I have nothing to "hide", but I don't feel like giving my passwords to my husband and I don't expect him to give me his. I think privacy should be respected and I like being trusted. However, if you feel that inappropriate behavior is going on, then don't be afraid to ask questions. It might just look like something it's not. Communication is key.

I would agree on what childress_london has tried to emphasize here "Communication is the key."

I'm really sorry... you must be stressed out about this but give it some thought and think of an approach that would likely lead you both into this without much argument. But its never healthy for you to be feeling this way while the entire petition is on going... I hope you will get to a resolution to this the soonest. Hang on in there.

[quakebars 0]

The plot thickens. How did she get your ID to message you? Hmmm... Did you reply to her and ask her questions? There are several possibilities here, and one of them still holds that your fiance is innocent. So I still wouldn't jump to conclusions at this point, but be aware.

she found me on facebook and messaged me there. i actually know her, my fiance chatted with her long before he met me and they had an online relationship but that was as far as it went... i don't see any reason why they should be talking at all anymore, though. am i wrong about that?

[quakebars 0]

I'm a very private person and I have nothing to "hide", but I don't feel like giving my passwords to my husband and I don't expect him to give me his. I think privacy should be respected and I like being trusted. However, if you feel that inappropriate behavior is going on, then don't be afraid to ask questions. It might just look like something it's not. Communication is key.

I would agree on what childress_london has tried to emphasize here "Communication is the key."

I'm really sorry... you must be stressed out about this but give it some thought and think of an approach that would likely lead you both into this without much argument. But its never healthy for you to be feeling this way while the entire petition is on going... I hope you will get to a resolution to this the soonest. Hang on in there.

thank you for that response. it's probably the most therapeutic answer.lol indeed, i am going through a lot of stress, i have my interview coming up REAL soon and i have to deal with this issue as well.

[HappyDancer 7]

Have faith that it will turn out well.. Who knows it was just a simple hi and hello.

[CuriousGuy 0]

Ms. Wreck, I hope I can give you some more food for thought. When I fell for my fiance' , I let her read everything that the "other" woman and I had exchangd. Very quickly, I told that other lady to let it rest. She has dignity and class, so she did so.

Soon thereafter, my fiance' gave me the password to her Friendster. I was FLOORED at her level of trust toward me. You may not know, but a western lady would NEVER do this, even IF she had nothing to hide. It's just a boundary we don't ever cross in our culture.

My visit came, and one of the things I did with her there was to delete my account on the site where we met. I told her to leave HER's up, just in case something happened to me{I know, that's morbid!}. In the days after my return, she gave me the rest of her passwords to her Yahoo, AND that same dating site. Without any hesitation, I also gave her mine, to my e-mail accounts. Yes, we both went in and read each other's stuff, and we learned a bit more about one another. I joked with her about some of the men that had contacted her.

There's NO Secerets between us, and I rue the day there ever may be.