donot know if this bad news or good

[Chica Yeyé 41]

You posted on a public forum therefore your topic is up for grabs. If you don't want responses then don't post on a public message board.

Honestly, Seka, I saw this coming from the day you joined VJ. I know the games MENA men play. It's very obvious. You guys should probably come up with something better than "my wife is suddenly a raging alcoholic" or "my wife is cheating on me". It's funny how American women all of a sudden become crazy when you guys get tired of them.

What does MENA stand for?

Middle East North Africa

It is the female equivalent of Phillipines, Thailand etc.

[Zee Bee 61]

Sounds like he came here just to bad mouth his wife and convince others that she's horrible so he doesn't feel so bad about leaving her. Why he can't just man up and tell her he wants a divorce is beyond me. He has to come here and talk smack about the woman. If the poor woman does have a drinking problem and he knew about it way back when then why did he go through with immigration? I know why....to get the hell out of Egypt. Now he wants everyones' blessings to leave her.

You don't have to bullsh*t anyone, Seka. Just leave.

My question exactly. He knew what he was walking into.

If you want to go back to Egypt, then go back. If you want to stay then stay. Ain't no one stopping you.

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

You posted on a public forum therefore your topic is up for grabs. If you don't want responses then don't post on a public message board.

Honestly, Seka, I saw this coming from the day you joined VJ. I know the games MENA men play. It's very obvious. You guys should probably come up with something better than "my wife is suddenly a raging alcoholic" or "my wife is cheating on me". It's funny how American women all of a sudden become crazy when you guys get tired of them.

What does MENA stand for?

Middle East North Africa

It is the female equivalent of Phillipines, Thailand etc.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Sounds like he came here just to bad mouth his wife and convince others that she's horrible so he doesn't feel so bad about leaving her. Why he can't just man up and tell her he wants a divorce is beyond me. He has to come here and talk smack about the woman. If the poor woman does have a drinking problem and he knew about it way back when then why did he go through with immigration? I know why....to get the hell out of Egypt. Now he wants everyones' blessings to leave her.

You don't have to bullsh*t anyone, Seka. Just leave.

My question exactly. He knew what he was walking into.

If you want to go back to Egypt, then go back. If you want to stay then stay. Ain't no one stopping you.

Plus... no one cares, really.

Though I must say... this might get entertaining....

[mooninlove 1]

You posted on a public forum therefore your topic is up for grabs. If you don't want responses then don't post on a public message board.

Honestly, Seka, I saw this coming from the day you joined VJ. I know the games MENA men play. It's very obvious. You guys should probably come up with something better than "my wife is suddenly a raging alcoholic" or "my wife is cheating on me". It's funny how American women all of a sudden become crazy when you guys get tired of them.

What does MENA stand for?

Middle East North Africa

It is the female equivalent of Phillipines, Thailand etc.

Did you just say that??? i hope you're more sensitive on that one not to generalize people from those countries! Maybe some but not all of us..

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Please remember to keep your responses courteous. This site is supposed to offer support to those having problems on their visa journey. If you have nothing helpful to say, then perhaps it is a good idea to say nothing.

[It's me 1]

[Meriem_DZ 37]

Please remember to keep your responses courteous. This site is supposed to offer support to those having problems on their visa journey. If you have nothing helpful to say, then perhaps it is a good idea to say nothing.

Thank you! You said exactly what I was thinking as I was reading this thread. I just don't understand people sometimes. They complain about the spelling and grammar of the OP, but guess what, this is a immigration forum with foreign spouses. Not everyone is going to come here educated to the point they write, spell and speak English perfectly. I have been here all my life and I even have problems with it. When people come here to ask for help, there is no need to beat someone down. If you have constructive advice or encouragement by all means chime in and help people. Please don't be mean and cruel. We don't have both sides of the story, only his and it's not up to us to judge. I lived with an alcoholic for a long time. It wasn't bad at first and I thought I could handle it. As the years went by it got progressively worse to the point it was a living hell. It took a lot of courage to leave and I had family and friends to help me. Seka's family is thousands of miles away. I guess I am too compassionate and I give people the benifit of the doubt. It would be very difficult for me to cruel to someone that I don't even know that is worried about his marriage and his future.

Seka, I am sorry this has happened to you. I know what you are going through. It is tough to live with someone that is drinking constantly. I hope your wife can get help and before it is to late.

Take care

Meriem

Edited April 8, 2009 by Meriem_setif

[GloriaLuvsMoto2 0]

hey dear friends i didnot want to share this with anyone but i donot know i just fell bad and i wanna to talk with ya guys like i used too everyday for longtime anyway iam planing on applying for getting adivorce iam tired of what iam going throw i been really throw too much stuff with her she is alcohlic and i tried whatever i can i mean whatever i can to help her with this i never seen someone drinks like this in my life everyday after she come from work till she pass out and i have to be crazy around her theres allways something wrong iam the one who must take care of everything at the house dishes cleaning and cooking shopping even washing cars and doing the landury i think i deserve better then that all what she do is work and drink and act crazy on me and i hate it i really hate it and started to get crazy here the other day i was asleep i put the air condition on cool wake up sweeting and cannot breath and almost gonna die from not breathing she put the air condition on high at hot also one day the house was gonna catch afire when she forget the stove on for almost 12 hours i was asleep and wake up on the smell of fire i feel like ###### all i feel like is to pack my stuff in jump in the car and go no where i mean no where just me and aplace i can breath life been so black into my eyes been throw alot this time specillay after my accident and the surgires i had to do and of course i was alone all of this time coz she is passed out from drinking and donot care about my green card i donot know if iam gonna lose it or not i have 10 years green card i recived it when i came here since i got IR! visa unconditional green card i donot know if iam gonna lose this or not i donot care if i losed it or not iam ready to go to egypt and have apeace of mind life been so shitty like this i did i really did loved her so much and i didnot know she is like this and for my love and from the deep of my heart i tried very hard to take her away from this doctor i tried mental physician i tried i even set with her family and we talked and theres no way we get away from this she think iam touching her freedom and iam not i want the best for us and i cannot handle it guys iam so sad and so confused life is really dark in my eyes and this week iam gonna pack my stuff and leave i donot know even how to finish the divorce but i wanna leave i think of going to aplace wheres amosque here in texas spend afew days there and pray and ask good to help me i have worked hard very hard and iam tired guys i really wanna end this marrige tell me ur opinion guys plz.

Im sorry to hear that youve been going through this. But what i can advice is that the two of you should sit and talk about your issues. She needs your help much more these days.. Im sure its tiring to have to deal with everything but Communication is the key. As much as people over here in VJ would give their 2 cents about your problems but at the end of the day its still you and your wife who could solve your issues and would decide wether to end up everything or not. Try to find out aswell whats the reason behind shes being like that, everything has a reason and as a husband its your responsibility to know whats going on with your wife. Again im sorry to hear youre getting all through this troubles, but im sure your relationship is on the rough path right now, Everything will be well soon. Pray and have faith.

[caybee 21]

Plenty of people have married a substance abuser knowing they drank some or used some but without knowing how bad it was until later. A functioning alcoholic can be VERY good at hiding the disease for a while, even from loved ones, especially in a case like this where the couple has been married for years but hasn't really lived together for an extended period of time. And maybe some people do have an idea of what they're getting into, but maybe they think they're strong enough or their love is strong enough, or if they pray hard enough it will work. One person is never strong enough to carry the entire the burden of a relationship like this, and without help, people eventually break. Doesn't mean they didn't love their spouse or they didn't try. If no one ever tried to love an alcoholic in spite of their illness, there would be no need for Al-Anon.

To the OP, alcoholism is treatable, but your wife has to want treatment and work at it. Al-Anon or individual counseling might help you a great deal to understand your wife's disease better, and you might find some hope for your relationship that you didn't realize was there. If you do decide to end the marriage, I wish you well, and I hope your wife finds the help she needs.

[nurse1967 287]

hey dear friends i didnot want to share this with anyone but i donot know i just fell bad and i wanna to talk with ya guys like i used too everyday for longtime anyway iam planing on applying for getting adivorce iam tired of what iam going throw i been really throw too much stuff with her she is alcohlic and i tried whatever i can i mean whatever i can to help her with this i never seen someone drinks like this in my life everyday after she come from work till she pass out and i have to be crazy around her theres allways something wrong iam the one who must take care of everything at the house dishes cleaning and cooking shopping even washing cars and doing the landury i think i deserve better then that all what she do is work and drink and act crazy on me and i hate it i really hate it and started to get crazy here the other day i was asleep i put the air condition on cool wake up sweeting and cannot breath and almost gonna die from not breathing she put the air condition on high at hot also one day the house was gonna catch afire when she forget the stove on for almost 12 hours i was asleep and wake up on the smell of fire i feel like ###### all i feel like is to pack my stuff in jump in the car and go no where i mean no where just me and aplace i can breath life been so black into my eyes been throw alot this time specillay after my accident and the surgires i had to do and of course i was alone all of this time coz she is passed out from drinking and donot care about my green card i donot know if iam gonna lose it or not i have 10 years green card i recived it when i came here since i got IR! visa unconditional green card i donot know if iam gonna lose this or not i donot care if i losed it or not iam ready to go to egypt and have apeace of mind life been so shitty like this i did i really did loved her so much and i didnot know she is like this and for my love and from the deep of my heart i tried very hard to take her away from this doctor i tried mental physician i tried i even set with her family and we talked and theres no way we get away from this she think iam touching her freedom and iam not i want the best for us and i cannot handle it guys iam so sad and so confused life is really dark in my eyes and this week iam gonna pack my stuff and leave i donot know even how to finish the divorce but i wanna leave i think of going to aplace wheres amosque here in texas spend afew days there and pray and ask good to help me i have worked hard very hard and iam tired guys i really wanna end this marrige tell me ur opinion guys plz.

I am sorry you are going through this. You cannot change her. Just try to take care of yourself. Please don't do anything rash. Make sure you get some good advice from a lawyer before you do anything. I will pray for you,

Betsy

Betsy

[SuperDuper! 230]

I think some posters have been too hard on seka. He is in a lot of pain.

My mom once told me, "If you cant say anything nice, dont say anything at all."

Letz try to be a little more supportive, folks. No matter how tempting it may be to lay into cultural stereotypes and "I knew itz."

Taking the high road once in a while wont hurt anyone. In fact, it will probably do you good!

[charisse 0]

why some people here are so mean look guys the op just want a piece of advice if some of y'll not gonna say something helpful or nice then dont post your comments!! coz your not helping at all!! i feel sorry for you seka i know how painful it is that your going through this stuff gud luck on your future and god bless...

[Boiler 45,486]

You posted on a public forum therefore your topic is up for grabs. If you don't want responses then don't post on a public message board.

Honestly, Seka, I saw this coming from the day you joined VJ. I know the games MENA men play. It's very obvious. You guys should probably come up with something better than "my wife is suddenly a raging alcoholic" or "my wife is cheating on me". It's funny how American women all of a sudden become crazy when you guys get tired of them.

What does MENA stand for?

Middle East North Africa

It is the female equivalent of Phillipines, Thailand etc.

Did you just say that??? i hope you're more sensitive on that one not to generalize people from those countries! Maybe some but not all of us..

I said very little, I guess I made a generalisation about gender which is statisiticaly true, I made no other comment.

[Kevin & Maria 0]

Please remember to keep your responses courteous. This site is supposed to offer support to those having problems on their visa journey. If you have nothing helpful to say, then perhaps it is a good idea to say nothing.

well-said!!!