Why I don't want children

[Emancipation 2]

I'm 28 and want kids less than ever.

I've had some truly offensive things said to me by people who felt that it was appropriate to talk smack about my choice not to have them; I often wonder what they would have said if I'd reviled their choice to have kids the way they did my choice not to.

Thankfully, now that I'm almost 30, people have toned down their condescending remarks about me changing my mind when I'm older, as if I'm a pigtailed toddler saying she doesn't want to wear dresses, ever!

That really sucks, I've never had anyone (yet) criticize me for not wanting kids.

Me neither.. I have no idea what someone could say? Is it in reference to your "womanhood" or something?

[childress_london 3]

I was convinced I never wanted children until I was 29. I never really even liked children, but for some reason at that time I got this extreme urge to have a baby. lol. I ended up with two children. I also feel the same way as some here in that I always thought this was a terrible world to bring children into, especially considering how bleak the future looks.

[trailmix 77]

I was convinced I never wanted children until I was 29. I never really even liked children, but for some reason at that time I got this extreme urge to have a baby. lol. I ended up with two children. I also feel the same way as some here in that I always thought this was a terrible world to bring children into, especially considering how bleak the future looks.

So did you change that outlook, or did you decide to have them in spite of your outlook?

[BermyCat 1]

Throughout my twenties, I swore that I would never have children. I'll never forget the day when someone told me that not wanting children was selfish. Of course, they then said, "If you have no children, who will take care of you when you get old." In my opinion, if someone has kids for that reason, they're the selfish one.

I've since changed my mind about having kids. Most of my fear of being a parent stemmed from the fact that my first husband would have been an awful father. He would have had as little to do with the kids as possible and I knew I wouldn't be strong enough to parent by myself. Phil is going to be a great dad and a real partner for me. I'm really looking forward to starting our family.

~ Catherine

[Sprailenes 47]

My husband is too career oriented so I have decided it's best to not start a bigger family with him. Plus he loves the age Ethan is at right now and all he talks is about the three of us traveling next year and doing stuff. I think if I ended up pregnant he'd be bummed.

Edited April 9, 2009 by Sprailenes

[MapleLeafBaby 1]

As for parents having 'amnesia' over their actions in their raising us... totally agree... my mom was very physically abusive and remembers little about it... I've moved passed it...

Funny how we all have 'wants' and 'wishes' of yes/no to the children debate... I always had a 'plan' I would have a couple of kids, so many years apart etc...

Well as life would have it.... I managed to have one, wonderful son... but due to certain circumstances...I am left unable to have more children... so this for me has become a non-choice... I am most bothered by insensitive people asking dumb questions about why and how there are no kids in the future etc...

I feel most for my fiance as he has always wanted children... I mean he does gain a step-son, but it would be lengthy and expensive to try... we may....

Just wanted to put it out there as sometimes what we have is not always what we want

But I do support people's wishes, as there are many. and I say MANY, people out there having kids, who shouldn't! lol

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I'm 28 and want kids less than ever.

I've had some truly offensive things said to me by people who felt that it was appropriate to talk smack about my choice not to have them; I often wonder what they would have said if I'd reviled their choice to have kids the way they did my choice not to.

Thankfully, now that I'm almost 30, people have toned down their condescending remarks about me changing my mind when I'm older, as if I'm a pigtailed toddler saying she doesn't want to wear dresses, ever!

That really sucks, I've never had anyone (yet) criticize me for not wanting kids.

Me neither.. I have no idea what someone could say? Is it in reference to your "womanhood" or something?

You both svck. There, I criticized you now.

Kidding. I don't have offspring, either.

[Flames9_RN 358]

We are uncertain about having kids. Wife has a great Federal Govt job and is doing extremely well, so who knows how having kids may affect her career progression. We quite happy with how life is now,lol and the world is such a crazy world! And of course al my nursing books focus on the diseases,lol how kids are born normal is a miracle,lol!! But ya, we have a few friends that try putting pressure on us, saying its the greatest thing in the whole world, they feel more complete as a couple, etc etc! Good for u,lol We are quite happy as we are.

[Levi_Heather 0]

I have 5 children and now 2 grandchildren. Being a parent is not for everyone. Lots of struggles but lots of good times too. If you're not sure its right for you then you shouldn't do it. I don't think there's anything wrong with choosing not to. I love my kids and couldn't imagine not having them but its not for everyone and with the way the world is its a challenge raising and keeping them safe.

[childress_london 3]

I was convinced I never wanted children until I was 29. I never really even liked children, but for some reason at that time I got this extreme urge to have a baby. lol. I ended up with two children. I also feel the same way as some here in that I always thought this was a terrible world to bring children into, especially considering how bleak the future looks.

So did you change that outlook, or did you decide to have them in spite of your outlook?

I decided to have them in spite of my outlook. :-P I don't understand why some people get so concerned over whether other people decide to have children or not (if they even have the choice). I personally don't care and it's none of my business.

[trailmix 77]

Yes, it is no ones business but your own whether you want to have children or not

[Cassie 8]

We have 5 nieces and nephews to spoil......and give back to their parents when we're done.

[childress_london 3]

We have 5 nieces and nephews to spoil......and give back to their parents when we're done.

That's the way to go.

[MrsCat 6]

Me neither.. I have no idea what someone could say? Is it in reference to your "womanhood" or something?

Really?! Never?!

I get it all the time. The worst offender is my mother. She always says things like, well one day when you're less selfish of a person, you'll want kids. In only the way a mother can, that you forgive the backhandedness of the comment.

Or, another one from my friends is, I guess you two don't know each other that well, so I can understand why you might not want to have kids right away. Like yeah, we didn't discuss those things, and we really only slept together a few times and decided to get married.

Another one I heard from my friend was if a couple is married for more than 2 years and don't have kids there is something physically wrong with them, or they're having marital problems. Yup, those are the only two options.

Edited April 10, 2009 by MrsCat

[TheATeam 0]

Oh...Mrs. Cat, I guess I'm lucky then! My mom is the one who's always telling me to never ever have kids! It's my husband's mom and stepdad who really want grandkids. I feel like I'll be letting them down if we don't have kids. ~sighs~ There's part of me that wants to have them and a part that really doesn't. My husband's the same way. We can't decide. That's probably a good sign that we shouldn't have them right now for sure!