My wife threw her marriage and life here away

[rebeccajo 14]

Well, that was disgusting.

[Ban Hammer 13,143]

Well, that was disgusting.

and how!

[notscenenough 6]

If you judge two entire nations by the actions of characters in a movie, or your own experiences with a bunch of them, what's that saying about you?

I was quoting what pretty much the person above me said, rofl.

[M.O 6]

Yes, I have heard people from over there can be "cold" etc. My wife said I was the one being cold, but in reality, she really was. People are telling me now that they noticed she could very cold to me when were together around other folks. But i dont know, I didnt want to generalize and think of her that way and just write her off as a cold person from eastern europe lol. I'm not that mean. But maybe I just should have done that, and I couldve spared myself a lot of hurt. I guess I shouldve listend to my friend Tudor aka Toot, when he said "never believe a goddamn word that comes out of a girls mouth, always be suspicious" And I was like that before, but my wife changed me and made me a better person. Now she has just turned me back into my old self...so I wont make the same mistakes and be duped again. I am back to being suspicious of EVERYONE. Our "visa journey" was pretty hectic and stressful, but we overcame a lot of obstacles. I am glad I have the experience under my belt, but it did come a heavy cost, because of all the suffering we put each through. But my friends that know Silvia are saying now that she seemed like a beautiful girl that was right for me and was making me happy, but soon after we were married, some people changed their of opinion of her and now they say she seemed like she was a "little tyrant who wanted to control everything". People say she thinks she is so smart, but she is just a 23 year old kid who doesnt know poop. I dont agree totally, I believe she is intelligent, but she's book smart and STREET DUMB. She was very COLD at times, and too proud. To not be willing to apologize to your own "husband" is ridiculous. I mean, swallow your pride, its your HUSBAND. Well, not really, because this marriage was a fraud and nothing more than a glorified friendship. A "friendship with benefits" per say. My wife basically told me...."I did this for you, I did that to you, and I was a good wife for a whopping 5 and half months, now I am done, so give me my green card." YEAH RIGHT.

Well, my wife defaulted yet again. She did not show up to the court today for the divorce case manager hearing. An immigration officer was present, waiting for her to walk in the door. But she didnt show. It makes my case for annulment look even better now. I have stop the divorce petition, and amended it to be switched to an annulment. The court even said that if Silvia really did take this "marriage" seriously, then why didnt she show up to have it ended? She just keeps showing blatant disregard for everything here in the U.S. She has defaulted on everything....her marriage, her lease, her AOS package etc etc. The immigration officer told me they are investigating her for potential marriage fraud and aiding & abetting illegal aliens, and he also mentioned the fact (which I had forgotten about) that she left our marriage, walked out, moved in with illegal aliens, then never reported her change of address to USCIS, which she was supposed to do. They are interested in that as well. I had the "agreement contract" that Silvia had printed out and wanted me to sign. Her signature is already on it lol. Boy did his eyes light up when I pulled that paper out lol. The court was shocked too, and I believe because of that agreement, all the red flags I have written down, and the fact that she has defaulted on everything in her new life, my annulment will be granted. So the court has put a stop to everything, until she leaves by utilizing Willful Departure or is apprehended by ICE and deported. There will be no divorce, she is still legally married, so if she planned to find some other guy to pay for a fraudulant marriage, those plans just went out the window for her. I will not be appearing in court for the annulment hearing until she has departed the U.S. They will not schedule it until she is gone.

I believe that Russian lawyer down in Virginia that she contacted may have advised her to not show up and default, in hopes I would be granted the divorce automatically, and she would be free to remarry even though she is out-of-status. Well, that didnt work, I threw a monkeywrench into that machine. Not gonna work. I believe he also told her that her 3 other options are sit around illegally waiting for amnesty, file for asylum, and VAWA. But, asylum would be ridiculous, because there is no real threat to wife back home. And VAWA wouldnt work because my wife has no police report or abuse evidence because she was never abused lol. The only thing she has a restraining order that she lied to the court to get. But there is no evidence to support her claims, so I highly doubt an immigration judge would grant a VAWA petition with absolutely no evidence whatsoever. I feel bad my wife had to perjur herself in court to get what she wanted. Wait, no I dont feel bad, and I'm not surprised she lied right to a judge because since hanging out with the illegals, she has changed exponentially and has been lying about everything and anything. Every sentence that comes out of her mouth now is a complete lie. What a tangled web we weave when we choose to deceive. She thinks her lies, falsehoods, fairy tales, myths and false reports will equal some sort of delay in her deportation or allow her an extended stay or maybe even lawful permanent residency. But what she doesnt realize is, is out-of-status and illegal RIGHT NOW, and thats when ICE nabs ya. They were there today to get here. Lucky for her, she didnt show her face. But lucky for me, she didnt, because she just made my argument for annulment much easier to prove. none of this was serious to her, and now she is "on the lam" and hiding from ICE.

No more court dates/hearings until she is back where she belongs, in Chisinau, Moldova. Suffice to say I wont fall into that trap again and rescue somebody from that futureless rathole landfill.

its a bit sad that u keep posting here and u cant forget her..i bet she forgot everything by now...

And i wanna let you know that USA is built by foreigners...and some of them started by being illegal and some of them not..And you cant decide and judge what kind of people are living in certain countries just cos one of them made u suffer and was cruel to u..everybody has their traditions and their way of living in their home country...I bet you would be a freak if u gonna go and live your entire life in Moldova, of course in the end you will adjust but very slowly..

Just divorce and let her go and just live your life,like you were before your 5 months marriage...

I hope you get what you want..and i hope theres gonna be a light at the end of your tunnel..

Good luck and God bless...

[rlogan 2,036]

I can't speak for Moldova, but I do see very different general traits amongst the two dozen countries I have been in 51 years on this planet.

There are some for which lying to others is just not a big deal in their culture, and definitely ones in which survival demands adherence to a pretty mercinary and heartless approach to others.

Just as a simple example, try making an agreement on a time to meet with people in a number of South American countries. Say Peru or Chile for instance.

It just enrages me when people will not stand by their agreements to meet me at a time certain - and people in those countries generally thought it hilarious that I would want them to be somewhere on time.

I started asking people what 8:00 meant to them - did they actually mean 8:15 or 8:30 or 9:00 or what? That way I could manage my time with them and not wait half an hour or more for them. What I learned is that they won't reveal such a thing to you, and the question inspires glee in them because it all has to do with exactly the effect it inspires - frustration. Not showing you respect in this passive-aggressive way, and making you feel frustrated over it.

I understand people will try to defend such things with bullshit arguments. But when it is someone they respect or fear - they are on time. There are people that do this in the USA - habitually show up late - but it is far more pervasive culturally in these countries.

I noticed in Chile the pervasive habit of giving me wrong directions and completely false information with the utmost confidence. I asked someone why they did this, and the answer was "just trying to be helpful". Well obviously that is bullshit because giving someone bad information is extremely unhelpful. Whatever the answer is, that is not the actual one. And the culture generally permits the fabrication of an answer that is completely false to a stranger.

I see innuit (eskimos) as a group are quiet, shy, and speak slowly whereas if you put an Italian down next to them it would be like night and day.

Exceptions everywhere but definitely some things generally true in cultures.

[Merrillizer 0]

I posted here seeking advice and guidance, because my wife and I found this place a little too late, within the week after we originally filed her AOS package. After finding it, I realized there was a lot of great information on here that we could have used (like how to prepare the AOS package), and I wish we had found it earlier. I also realized that there were a lot of knowledgeable folks here. I was never looking for pity or remorse. I was just wondering about a few things.....like am I helping myself by delaying the annulment proceeding? Actually, I talked to an immigration lawyer yesterday and he told me that if my wife files for a VAWA and gets it, I could be held liable for any benefits she receives from the guv'ment. So I cant just "forgive and forget". This person walked into my life under the guise of genuine love and commitment, and then walked out, leaving my life in shambles and hurting not only me, but my family. I cant just forget about it. I have to protect myself from this foreign national who believes she deserves to be rewarded with Lawful Permanent Residency. However, she does not deserve anything. I already forwarded the "contract" she wrote up and SIGNED to I.C.E., and the rep. there told me now that they have that evidence, it is being given to the Supervisor. I would find it hard to believe, that USCIS would grant my wife a VAWA waiver because of bogus domestic violence restraining orders, especially when she signed a contract to commit immigration marriage fraud. My estranged wife is a SCAMMER, I have the contract with her signature to prove it, and she has committed a multitude of federal offenses. Luckily for me, I didnt let myself get dragged into her immigration crime mess. I only find the need to protect myself from her. I am not the judge, I am just the victim of immigration marriage fraud, who has the evidence to prove it. And it will be used to detain and deport my wife. Scammers, liars and cheats should not be rewarded, especially when they draw up and sign the evidence!

[rlogan 2,036]

You were a victim, yes. And it is a bummer.

Now the deal is protecting yourself by not getting too wrapped up in transforming yourself into an immigration cop, and to heal yourself by just giving up completely on the notion that there was ever any chance whatsoever if you just worked harder or if she listened to you or if you had come to this site earlier that it would have worked out.

Because there was no chance of it working.

Treat yourself to a party girl or three in Reno or something. Shag an old girlfriend sympathetic to your plight. Call the cute girl you met at the church convention. Whatever. But do something to get your hormones in working order.

[Brettanne 1]

Im sorry for i cant give you any idea about your concern. You got my sympathy. You already did everything in trying to win her back but she take it all for granted. Its not your lost, its hers. You deserve more than her, someone will love you and respect you whole heartedly and especially someone who will understand what MARRIAGE is all about.

[rika60607 215]

Dude,

do you seriously stand by your statement that your wife did not show up to the divorce hearing because she never cared for your marriage?

But what she doesnt realize is, is out-of-status and illegal RIGHT NOW, and thats when ICE nabs ya. They were there today to get here. Lucky for her, she didnt show her face. But lucky for me, she didnt, because she just made my argument for annulment much easier to prove. none of this was serious to her, and now she is "on the lam" and hiding from ICE.

I think the above reason IS the reason. She is just not that dumb

As well, in your writings you come out as a hell of a mean SOB. We did not hear her side. Who knows what you did to her that she abandoned you. I mean, she may or may not be a scammer... but you are definitely not in any shape to be in a relationship with a woman.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

[Merrillizer 0]

Dude,

do you seriously stand by your statement that your wife did not show up to the divorce hearing because she never cared for your marriage?

But what she doesnt realize is, is out-of-status and illegal RIGHT NOW, and thats when ICE nabs ya. They were there today to get here. Lucky for her, she didnt show her face. But lucky for me, she didnt, because she just made my argument for annulment much easier to prove. none of this was serious to her, and now she is "on the lam" and hiding from ICE.

I think the above reason IS the reason. She is just not that dumb

As well, in your writings you come out as a hell of a mean SOB. We did not hear her side. Who knows what you did to her that she abandoned you. I mean, she may or may not be a scammer... but you are definitely not in any shape to be in a relationship with a woman.

Oh yeah, well if she sincerely and genuinely cared about our "marriage", and it was legitimate, would she draw up and sign a goddamn contract to commit immigration marriage fraud and then try to coerce and threaten me into signing it? PLEASE. Feel all the pity you want for the scammer, but the PROOF and EVIDENCE is in black and white. This isnt a girl who left me because I was a terrible person, this is a girl who blatantly showed intent to commit a crime, and get me involved in it. The proof is in da puddin'. Sorry. If I had as much NERVE and GALL as her, I'd post the contract up here for you to look at. ICE seems to like it, and think its worthy

[ziia 9]

Oh yeah, well if she sincerely and genuinely cared about our "marriage", and it was legitimate, would she draw up and sign a goddamn contract to commit immigration marriage fraud and then try to coerce and threaten me into signing it? PLEASE. Feel all the pity you want for the scammer, but the PROOF and EVIDENCE is in black and white. This isnt a girl who left me because I was a terrible person, this is a girl who blatantly showed intent to commit a crime, and get me involved in it. The proof is in da puddin'. Sorry. If I had as much NERVE and GALL as her, I'd post the contract up here for you to look at. ICE seems to like it, and think its worthy

How can you prove it was her who wrote that fraudulent "agreement"? All she has to do is to deny it or say that you wrote it in her behalf just out of spite for all the things she did to you I'm just curious...because i've never seen anything like this in my life and this "note" she wrote didn't come up so insistently full front 'till recently.

Not taking anybody's sides here but i find your love/hate for her goes deeper than anything i've seen before...i just have a feeling this will not end well...just be careful what you do, k? Don't let the obsession with this chick get you in trouble. That's all i have to say.

Edited May 15, 2009 by ziia

[Merrillizer 0]

It didnt come up before because she didnt come to my house with it in her hand, crying and trying to make feel bad enough to actually sign it until AFTER i caught her doing all the things she did. Pulling a knife on me, smashing things up in my house, Me catching her in a room with another guy, etc etc etc. After all that she did, she mustve thought the only way to stay here and not go home was to bribe me with money and sex. I would think thats more than likely the reason why she resorted to writing a contract, in hopes that she could cry her way to a green card, albeit crying disingenuously. It was a good act believe me. But first off and most important, I would never agree to commit a crime, let alone sign a contract to do it LMAO. Secondly, I would never reward someone who has hurt me so much with her actions.

And how can I prove its hers? SHE SIGNED IT, and ICE has copies of her AOS paperwork to match her signature. her sig. is very unique and its clearly been matched. She put a line for my name, in hopes I would do something so foolish and sign on the line for her.

You are right, this isnt ending very well. I am left with the financial burdons to bear, along with the other mutual marital responsibilities my "wife" left me with. Maybe you dont understand, she left me with EVERYTHING. I was left holding the bag, she took no responsibilities with her. I have been left in financial RUIN, I lost my house I was renting, and the feeling of being used and abused is extremely overwhelming. I'm sorry, but having to look back, and realizing that the last 8 months of my life has been a total sham, is just a bit hard to deal with. Maybe you've never been there before, but let me tell you that I dont wish this on anyone. Just take my word for it, it is the bottom, and its no place for a human being to be. Unfortunately, there are cold and calculating people out there that are totally willing to subject others to this type of pain and suffering. And they usually have no pity or remorse whatsoever. Just take it from a guy whos is there right now.....

And to add some salt to the wound, my wonderful immigrant "wife" is already living with, dating and sleeping with another guy. In fact, its the kid I caught her in bed with before, when she lied and said she never shared a bed with anyone. HAHAHAA. How do I know they are really together? Because the kids friend told me, and he showed me pictures of the kid buying my "wife" teddy bears and making out. Pictures dont lie. Only people do. Rotten people.......

It doesnt matter how sweet someone looks. When they are from a country like where my "wife" is from, it makes them different people. The struggle makes you colder, they have to be cold and calculating to survive. Unfortunately some of them do things like this. Not all, but some.....

[almaty 19]

ICE cares little about her........there are 18 million are so illegals, and she is special to them..yeah right

...you are just wanting revenge .....and wanting to see her suffer....

projection is the scorn of the weak in spirit

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Dr. Dean has spoken.