My wife threw her marriage and life here away

[feelinglucky 1]

quoted JorgeGu

"I hope he overcomes, and I hope she leaves his life and the country permanently, someone deserving will eventually come to his life, I truly hope so."

***CAUTION***

This word "hope", was previously used in an eariler post in a negative way. Merillz quickly pounced citing things from the ten-comandent. I will wait to see how he responds to the word "Hope" in this context....(wink,wink)

Several members have been suggesting that Merillz was being circumcised unfairly. Be cafefull ,as other members are wheelding the" cold steel blade of justice". My suggestion is to be along for the ride, fasten ur seatbelt, and the most important thing is to cover your crotch!

[Merrillizer 0]

She came on a J-1 visa. It expired.

Yes, on October 1st. However, if overstay time is less than 180 days before filing of AOS package, CIS will overlook the overstay time if married. However, it's irrelevant to the case of fraud anyway. She wouldve overstayed any number of days to accomplish her goal, which she has clearly shown by not departing the U.S. by way of Willful Departure, even after being exposed as a fraud, having her AOS support withdrawn, and being made aware she and her contract were reported to local ICE office.

You married her a matter of days before it expired. That does NOT grant her a new visa. When we want to say it "nicely" we say "out of status". When we want to imbue it with evil, we cry loudly "illegal immigrant".

No, it does not grant her a VISA, but again, the marriage gave her "leeway" and time to apply for adjustment of status. She was well aware of what she was doing, I had no idea. Looking back on it now, she seemed to know exactly what she needed to do. Imbue with evil? Merely stating the facts of the case which have been firmly and clearly shown to be in fact true by the actions of the respondent herself.

You flatly stated that you and your family found her "odd jobs", which is another "nice" term you were using at the time because you were still "in love" with her then - but if you want to imbue it with evil again the fact is "odd job" = working for money and again is an ILLEGAL *gasp* act.

Yes, we found her odd jobs...cleaning a house. The respondent herself took unauthorized unemployment at an actual establishment, even against the wishes of her alleged "husband" and his family. We repeatedly requested that she not take illegal gainful employment, in fear she may be caught. She is an adult, and made her own decision to do so anyway. She was adamant about working in the restaurant, nothing I said or did changed her mind.

What I am commenting on is this change in attitude from it being alright for her to stay here while out of status and also work for money without employment authorization - to this shrill cry of horrible crimes being committed as an "Illegal Alien".

Yes, your attitude changes when you learn the truth and reality of your situation. And, in learning this truth, you learn the person you married is actually quite willing to make it blatantly obvious their fraudulent intentions, and has no problem whatsoever offering a contract to remain married. You expect that the attitude would remain the same as when you are under the impression the marriage is legitimate, sincere and bona-fide? Come on.......

It's OK so long as you are in love, but then it's a high crime when you are no longer in love, and you need to act as a sherriff's deputy in bringing to justice a whole network of illegal aliens now - the same people you knew about before, but took no action against until things started going sour with the wife.

Yes, it's "ok" when you're part of bona-fide marriage. That's the point, it was NEVER OK, from the very inception of the marriage. Again, you're missing the point. So no, in my case, it was NEVER ACTUALLY "OK", because a real legitimate wife never existed in this fraudulent marriage, only immigrant entering into marriage for the sole purpose of receiving immigration benefits. And WRONG, they are NOT people I knew about before, I learned about them only weeks before I learned my wife was a fraud. It only took me a 10-14 days to realize what was happening, and make my report.

So it's all about revenge and vindictiveness. I wish you no ill will. But get off the vindictiveness train. It is not healthy.

Wrong, again. It's about removing oneself from a horrible, albeit illegal, situation. It's also about protecting myself from a fraud. You have to update passwords, close and reopen new accounts, and take every step possible to make sure you don't lose any more than you already have. Please spare me your assumptions. Unless you've been through this before, you really have nothing but hollow opinions to offer anyway because you are clueless the process and the procedures which must take place in order to insure your own safety and protection from things like fraud and identity theft, etc.

And eight years difference is shocking. I can't imagine finding something in common with a girl so much younger.

Shocking? LMAO. Another opinion. You know what they say about opinions.....everybody has one.......

[jundp 191]

And eight years difference is shocking. I can't imagine finding something in common with a girl so much younger.

Just want to point out, with absolutely no reference to the OP or this saga, that eight years isn't really that big of a deal. My husband and I are 10 years apart and we have plenty in common. It happens all the time...

[trillium13 84]

And eight years difference is shocking. I can't imagine finding something in common with a girl so much younger.

Just want to point out, with absolutely no reference to the OP or this saga, that eight years isn't really that big of a deal. My husband and I are 10 years apart and we have plenty in common. It happens all the time...

I have to chime in on this too. I don't think that's a huge difference, it all depends on the people involved. My parents were 7 years apart. I used to be in a relationship with someone 13 years older than me. That didn't work out, but it was nothing to do with age difference. He was a plain old jerk.

[girl 37 7]

And eight years difference is shocking. I can't imagine finding something in common with a girl so much younger.

Just want to point out, with absolutely no reference to the OP or this saga, that eight years isn't really that big of a deal. My husband and I are 10 years apart and we have plenty in common. It happens all the time...

I have to chime in on this too. I don't think that's a huge difference, it all depends on the people involved. My parents were 7 years apart. I used to be in a relationship with someone 13 years older than me. That didn't work out, but it was nothing to do with age difference. He was a plain old jerk.

Nine + years here. My younger husband and I have LOTS in common!

[jundp 191]

And eight years difference is shocking. I can't imagine finding something in common with a girl so much younger.

Just want to point out, with absolutely no reference to the OP or this saga, that eight years isn't really that big of a deal. My husband and I are 10 years apart and we have plenty in common. It happens all the time...

I have to chime in on this too. I don't think that's a huge difference, it all depends on the people involved. My parents were 7 years apart. I used to be in a relationship with someone 13 years older than me. That didn't work out, but it was nothing to do with age difference. He was a plain old jerk.

Nine + years here. My younger husband and I have LOTS in common!

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

And eight years difference is shocking. I can't imagine finding something in common with a girl so much younger.

Just want to point out, with absolutely no reference to the OP or this saga, that eight years isn't really that big of a deal. My husband and I are 10 years apart and we have plenty in common. It happens all the time...

I have to chime in on this too. I don't think that's a huge difference, it all depends on the people involved. My parents were 7 years apart. I used to be in a relationship with someone 13 years older than me. That didn't work out, but it was nothing to do with age difference. He was a plain old jerk.

My turn to chime in! My fiancee is also 8 years younger than me. Then again, I'm 51 years old! How shocking is THAT?

[sasha414 0]

husband is 19 yrs older than me and we get along perfectly fine.

[jundp 191]

Such SHOCKING age differences

[rlogan 2,036]

Well my wife is 30 years younger. So I was joking.

Merrilizer I do have to say that under fire you are doing well enough answering. There is a lot of opportunistic sniping. I would like to think I could stay within the bounds of civility and diplomacy, but who is perfect among us.

I do hate to see sincere hopes dashed.

In time I hope you have a big fish on and a nice girl behind you. Not with a knife. With a landing net.

[bmh 0]

Wow, you have remarkable patience! That woman has NO clue what she lost when she lost you... That's too bad that she was such an habitual liar... probably to the point where she convinced herself she was telling the truth. And I'm sorry that you got hurt through the process. It is also too bad, as another VJer put it, that you couldn't just buy her a one-way ticket & send her home. Just an overall sad story

Best wishes & may God bless you. And please don't let that woman change your opinion of the rest of us

Take care...

[Merrillizer 0]

In time I hope you have a big fish on and a nice girl behind you. Not with a knife. With a landing net.

Thank you very much. That is actually very nice of you to post here. Thanks. And I hope the same, not only for me, but anyone else out there having to deal with this type of situation.

I can't honestly explain to those of you who dont know what I have been through, just how painful it is. It's a package deal...emotionally, mentally, physically, financially, etc etc. You get the "Bonus Plan" when the person you thought was real turns about to be a fraud, and only a pretended party and separate entity in your supposed marriage.

You carry it around, every day, for quite a while......and trust me, it's a heavy load to bear.....

[john & jean 37]

THE ANSWERS TO YOUR PROBLEM ARE INSIDE YOUR BRAIN. ONLY YOU HAVE THE POWER TO GET THEM OUT........

[feelinglucky 1]

You carry it around, every day, for quite a while......and trust me, it's a heavy load to bear.....

Finally this is what i have been waiting to hear Merrillzer, you spoken from your heart and not tried to rationalize your intention to the rest of us. To some people after going thru a breakup with SO, they just try and move on. By doing this they are making a concious effort to abtain a sense of closure. But in your case, my opioion is your only way to get closure is by making sure she is not on US soil. Your aprroach seem alittle extreme for my taste. But, If the end results justify the means then so be it.

Divorce filling fee....... ???

Lawyer fee................???

INS/ICE filling fee....... ???

Time taken off work.....???

Divorced + Deportation....... CLOSURE (priceless)

[Brad and Vika 129]

And eight years difference is shocking. I can't imagine finding something in common with a girl so much younger.

Just want to point out, with absolutely no reference to the OP or this saga, that eight years isn't really that big of a deal. My husband and I are 10 years apart and we have plenty in common. It happens all the time...

If eight years is shocking, what about our seventeen years? ***GASP*** (sound of rlogan having massive coronary and falling to floor)

Edited June 21, 2009 by Brad and Vika