My wife threw her marriage and life here away

[b_fowler 0]

I also have suffered a similar event, although this was with an American woman to whom I was married for 14 years. She decided to pursue other men, we had decided I was going to go to college and get a job that would support us better, and I have been working 40 + hours a week. She took the moments of opportunity to converse with other men, she even went as far as sending one of the guys a cell phone, that I was not aware of (On my account), so that they could have conversations with him. I too forgave and tried to work it out, I fought with for our marrige for two years and the result was the same, i divorced her. She continuosly told me the same, everything was getting better, our marriage was getting better, but she continued the charade. I definitely understand how it feels to want to save something, and try so hard and have the other person throw it all away. I sympathize with your circumstance, and hope that you do not have to suffer unneccessarily. I did not have to deal with the immigration issue as she was an American citizen, it still does not feel good to have it happen!!

May God grant you serenity and peace in your life!!!

May the next person you meet be filled with love and honesty!!!

Sincerely,

Brian

[sj5 4]

Don't worry about. Take your notification from USCIS at and tell the judge she is mad at you! Why would you think she can destroy your life?

[^KK^ 3]

brother, you have given this one way too much. it is time to pull back and take care of yourself. throw her stuff on the lawn and change the locks. if you're in a small town, go see the sherrif and let him know what is going on so you don't get blindsided. if she shows up on the porch and throws a fit, call the cops and tell them she's trying to hurt you or herself. if she brings the cops explain to them that she had a place to live for a month, and had another guy to shag, too. they will walk her through the house and let her collect her toothbrush.

you need to find a counselor to talk to about this. internet boards are full of people who've been there and done that, but you really need some one on one time with a pro to get yourself back on track and out from under this girl's feet. your opinion of yourself is too low right now, and you need support for tonight, and the days ahead.

have no more contact with this person or any of her friends/coworkers. you want to be entirely out of the picture. the more out of the picture you are, the smaller the target you present. the smaller the target, the fewer the hits you'll take.

best of luck to you in the process.

good advice.

[M.O 6]

move on...forget it...

obviously she not worth it...

im sorry ...u posted before too .. i remember you

[Amoon 0]

I'm so sorry to hear about what happened to you. It seems like she knows she was in the wrong and so instead of accepting it an seeing that she was wrong, she wants to retaliate and make it look like it was your fault and make you pay for that. Just stand your ground and don't stoop to her level. And I'm sorry to say, like someone said earlier, don't plan on ICE doing anything. I used to be married to an ILLEGAL Mexican immigrant...we divorced...he was the primary suspect in the case of robbery at my house (someone broke in & stole my laptop & DVD player only...neighbors saw his van there that day). My dad called ICE on him and nothing was done...not even the detective investigating the case has contacted me since a week or two after the break in...and that was a year ago!!!!

But I hope things change for you and that she HAS to go back to her country and you won't have to deal with her again.

Stay strong...I know its hard. Once trust in a relationship is gone, you can give up any reconciliation.

Amanda

[YuAndDan 153]

I am confused does she have her green-card or NOT?? Withdraw I-130??

Profile says AOS pending?

http://www.visajourney.com/timeline/profile.php?id=60244

[Merrillizer 0]

Thanks for the responses. I am still trying to figure out why she blatantly lied right to my face so many times in only several days after her returning home. So many lies in like 4 days lol. I know I should forget about it, but it just drives me crazy. I guess she just didnt think I deserved the truth, about anything, so she lied about everything to try and make me upset and jealous etc. She just did it to hurt me I suppose. But she just doesnt understand or realize that she hurt me more than enough when she originally walked out on me March 5th. That was enough. How much more does she want to hurt and destroy me?

I let her attack me after she saw and read the letter from USCIS stating her papers were canceled. I let her take out all her frustrations on me. About a minute into her attack, I felt her finger go in and under my left eye. It was a very uncomfortable feeling. Thats when my natural instinct kicked in and I pushed her off of me. I instantly thought my eye was damaged or going to get poked out. It was scary, and it was an instant reaction to get her away at that point. How long do you let someone hit on you and claw you up before your instincts kick in? I suppose her restraining order against me is because I pushed her off my head, only after my face was cut up and bloodied by her clawing and scratching, and I had a black eye from her slamming her finger into it.

My wife actually assumed that I would still help her "get her papers" after she walked out on me. She wanted to make an "agreement", some monthly payment to me so I would live a lie and say that I was still with her as real, legitimate husband and wife. I couldnt do such a thing. I admit, I actually contemplated it. I wondered if I loved my wife enough to lie. Then I came to the conclusion that I could love NOBODY enough to enable them to desert and abandon me that way. I did not love my wife enough to enable and allow her to just walk out of our marriage and assume everything would be a bed of roses. Thats what she assumed, she thought she could just trash our marriage, walk out on me and turn her back on her husband and his loving family that accepted her so much, and still be rewarded with lawful permanent residency in the United States.

The one thing that I just cannot understand, is why should there be a hearing to determine whether a restraining order should become permanent when the person who filed it shouldnt even be in this country, but should instead be home thousands of miles away on the other side of the planet? It totally blows my mind. Question is, how could she file for any sort of removal of conditions when she was still pending and we never even had an interview yet? She never even received her EAD yet. It was canceled, luckily, before she was rewarded with anything.

[Ginger cat 3]

I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE WIFEY TO REPLY HERE...

and also: Enjoy that everyone is reading yrou post to ake an announcement for your car to sell, now.

[Ginger cat 3]

Thanks for the responses. I am still trying to figure out why she blatantly lied right to my face so many times in only several days after her returning home. So many lies in like 4 days lol. I know I should forget about it, but it just drives me crazy. I guess she just didnt think I deserved the truth, about anything, so she lied about everything to try and make me upset and jealous etc. She just did it to hurt me I suppose. But she just doesnt understand or realize that she hurt me more than enough when she originally walked out on me March 5th. That was enough. How much more does she want to hurt and destroy me?

how many girls are this way?

unfortunalty, the ones that are hungry of money, materialistc things, just do that, they abuse.

they know how to take the nice ones that are going to give them everything and in retrun she will act like a spoilt kids and will abuse.

she took you for an idiot.

and you have been a way too nice.

offering a car is the last thing to do.

i can't believe it's me who is saying so...

*coughs* mine is also taking em car.

but i LOVE him. and i have an urgent question. for i am leaving usa on thrusday morning to see him. :arrow: :arrow:

GOOD LUCK! and great you are getting rid of her.

[Merrillizer 0]

I am confused does she have her green-card or NOT?? Withdraw I-130??

Profile says AOS pending?

http://www.visajourney.com/timeline/profile.php?id=60244

Yes, she was pending. No EAD. No interview. No nuthin'. We sent her papers to Chicago lockbox back in mid-January. We were anxiously waiting for her EAD. But she went and walked out and turned her back on everything before that even happened. I waited a few weeks to see if she would return home to save our marriage. She didnt, so i sent a letter to USCIS stating what my wife had done and all the events leading up to me deciding to request a withdrawal of my form I-130. My letter of withdrawal was accepted, and USCIS informed me that since my I-130 I filed on her behalf has been canceled, her I-485 and everything else is also canceled because without my I-130, the rest of the forms have nothing to stand on. They then informed me that my wife no longer has any legal status in this country whatsoever and should return home, since our interview is now canceled, removal proceedings will begin against her and she will no doubt get a letter from immigration requesting her departure from the U.S.

I would imagine since she will be leaving on an expired visa, some sort of ban will be put on her as well. I think her I-94 will become ####### now that she has chosen this path.

Her boss tells me she says she is going to leave willingly though. He said she told him she was leaving "soon", but I have no idea when. I cant trust her anymore anymore. I just need to make sure I protect myself in case she pulls more stunts on me and/or decides to go "underground". I do not want to risk having a 10 year commitment to this girl with a I-864 if she living here illegally or doing god knows what.

[Ginger cat 3]

well, leaving france on thursday for a trip to usa. just to make it clear.

[YuAndDan 153]

I am confused does she have her green-card or NOT?? Withdraw I-130??

Profile says AOS pending?

http://www.visajourney.com/timeline/profile.php?id=60244

Yes, she was pending. No EAD. No interview. No nuthin'. We sent her papers to Chicago lockbox back in mid-January. We were anxiously waiting for her EAD. But she went and walked out and turned her back on everything before that even happened. I waited a few weeks to see if she would return home to save our marriage. She didnt, so i sent a letter to USCIS stating what my wife had done and all the events leading up to me deciding to request a withdrawal of my form I-130. My letter of withdrawal was accepted, and USCIS informed me that since my I-130 I filed on her behalf has been canceled, her I-485 and everything else is also canceled because without my I-130, the rest of the forms have nothing to stand on. They then informed me that my wife no longer has any legal status in this country whatsoever and should return home, since our interview is now canceled, removal proceedings will begin against her and she will no doubt get a letter from immigration requesting her departure from the U.S.

I would imagine since she will be leaving on an expired visa, some sort of ban will be put on her as well. I think her I-94 will become ####### now that she has chosen this path.

Her boss tells me she says she is going to leave willingly though. He said she told him she was leaving "soon", but I have no idea when. I cant trust her anymore anymore. I just need to make sure I protect myself in case she pulls more stunts on me and/or decides to go "underground". I do not want to risk having a 10 year commitment to this girl with a I-864 if she living here illegally or doing god knows what.

So you were adjusting status from a visitor's visa or a K-3 visa, yes withdrawing the I-130 will derail the rest of the process.

[R&AINC 1]

You know what is the biggest lie? The lie you created for yourself. Love is like a drug and you can get an overdose of it. When that drug is bad, then it can hurt you really bad/.

The lie that after she walked away, you could still live together. The lie that by proving yourself right about her cheating on you, would actually be a lie. That you were wrong, that was a lie. The truth is that all you thought since when you start thinking about marrying her is true.

-She married wit you to get green card

-She used you

-She never thought you were the man of her life.

The biggest mistake is to try to prove yourself right. As you know now, the less you know the better it is.

You know enough to let her go so just do that.

Moreover, since she attacked you, you should be the one going to the police.

She is not good for you period. No hate no love. No proving yourself wrong or right. Just become a man again, and stop being a wannabe someone that you were not.

Go file any police reports you need, make sure you watch your back. She has not much to loose. (seem like from a movie, but you never know)

Many people have love dissapointments. This is part of life. Take it as another university degree. What you know now will certainly help you in the future, but do not let love or hate blind you.

[Mary Lou 681]

I am confused does she have her green-card or NOT?? Withdraw I-130??

Profile says AOS pending?

http://www.visajourney.com/timeline/profile.php?id=60244

Yes, she was pending. No EAD. No interview. No nuthin'. We sent her papers to Chicago lockbox back in mid-January. We were anxiously waiting for her EAD. But she went and walked out and turned her back on everything before that even happened. I waited a few weeks to see if she would return home to save our marriage. She didnt, so i sent a letter to USCIS stating what my wife had done and all the events leading up to me deciding to request a withdrawal of my form I-130. My letter of withdrawal was accepted, and USCIS informed me that since my I-130 I filed on her behalf has been canceled, her I-485 and everything else is also canceled because without my I-130, the rest of the forms have nothing to stand on. They then informed me that my wife no longer has any legal status in this country whatsoever and should return home, since our interview is now canceled, removal proceedings will begin against her and she will no doubt get a letter from immigration requesting her departure from the U.S.

I would imagine since she will be leaving on an expired visa, some sort of ban will be put on her as well. I think her I-94 will become ####### now that she has chosen this path.

Her boss tells me she says she is going to leave willingly though. He said she told him she was leaving "soon", but I have no idea when. I cant trust her anymore anymore. I just need to make sure I protect myself in case she pulls more stunts on me and/or decides to go "underground". I do not want to risk having a 10 year commitment to this girl with a I-864 if she living here illegally or doing god knows what.

I've been following your story since you posted before. I am sorry that it has come to this, and i hope she wont cause you any further problems.

I am confused about one part tho, how was it she is working if she doesnt have an EAD?

[Kiv 32]

I suppose her restraining order against me is because I pushed her off my head, only after my face was cut up and bloodied by her clawing and scratching, and I had a black eye from her slamming her finger into it.

I don't know how bad it was but, could you still get a police report for her agression to you? I think you may need it latter.