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Merrillizer

My wife threw her marriage and life here away

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Pakistan
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found her in bed with other man, let her back in, what to punish and torture her? at least she said it wont work out, tellling you there that she doesnt feel right with you. However prob for economic reasons whichwere dangled she had no choice than to stay.you should have cut ties long ago when it was her chosing. the car thing vanity plates pahlease was just a tease to her. Her immaturity wasnt so cute after all. we make our own beds eh. you will have to wait it out. maybe her and the 'kid" probably closer to her own age and thinking ,will end up togehter in the end. Deal and quit being an old hard azz. Reallyy thats what you get for trying to buy a young woman. sometimes it rolls ok, but usually it doesnt.

august 2004 I-129 filed (neb)

DEC 2004 Approved

interview: SEOUL

MArch 21st , 2005AR for special security clearance,washington

May 18th tranfer case from Seoul to Islammabad

June 21st security clearance done

June 28th online at the embassy in Islamabad

waiting for paper transfer and the good word

OCTOBER 14TH 2005 Interview Number 2: ISLAMABAD, PK

AR number 2 sent to DOS per Islamabad (2 cable request)

Nov 22 okd updated financial and etc proof accepted / embassy waiting for security cables

dec 20th one cable back waiting on 2nd

Jan 17th.. good word recieved. SECURITY CHECKS ALL CLEAR!!! DOS says embassy to contact him within two weeks!!!!!!

FEBRUARY 10th, 2006 VISA RECIEVED!!! They called him In via phone, stamped his passort and sent him on his way!!!

FEB 28th WELCOME HOME>>>POE CHICAGO did not even look at xray, few questions. one hour wait at Poe

march 10th marriage (nikkah at the islamic center)

aug 2006 AOS interview, cond 2 yr GC arrived september

June 2008 applied for removal of conditions on permant residency aka awaiting for 10 yr greencard

Dec 2008 10yr green card approved, no interview.

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found her in bed with other man, let her back in, what to punish and torture her? at least she said it wont work out, tellling you there that she doesnt feel right with you. However prob for economic reasons whichwere dangled she had no choice than to stay.you should have cut ties long ago when it was her chosing. the car thing vanity plates pahlease was just a tease to her. Her immaturity wasnt so cute after all. we make our own beds eh. you will have to wait it out. maybe her and the 'kid" probably closer to her own age and thinking ,will end up togehter in the end. Deal and quit being an old hard azz. Reallyy thats what you get for trying to buy a young woman. sometimes it rolls ok, but usually it doesnt.

Did you see something in the OP about any of this? I'm not sure what the age difference is, or if that is even relevant here. It seems he is torturing himself, not her. If a non-USC is going to scam some one for economic reasons, she would probably do that regardless of the bloke's circumstances.

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I have no idea about the answer to your questions but I do feel sorry for you. Obviously, you deserve someone better. Your wife doesn't know how much she has lost - not just her visa but a husband who is willing to forgive her and love her. God bless you.

yep i agree with that!!!

N-400:
May 9, 2017: N-400 packet was sent
May 15, 2017: NOA1 
June 05, 2017: Biometric Done
June 19, 2017: Case is in Line for an Interview
June 25, 2018: USCIS Scheduled an Interview
Aug. 02, 2018: Interview Date- APPROVED!
Aug. 09, 2018: Oath Ceremony

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“...Isn't it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive--it's such an interesting world. It wouldn't be half so interesting if we knew all about everything, would it? There'd be no scope for imagination then, would there?”

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Filed: Other Country: Moldova
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Post containing personal attacks and posts quoting same removed.

Thank you!

fruitcakelady, the age difference was never a problem. 8 years isnt a big deal. However, I did think the person I married was more mature, but in the end her true colors were on display and her actions were extremely immature. And why did I let her come home? BECAUSE I LOVED HER. DUH. Yes, it's unfortunate for me that I was the one who was genuine. Nothing I can do about it, I couldnt just stop caring. Maybe if I was truly as cold as she became, I couldve. And the car and vanity plates? Those werent "teases", THOSE WERE THINGS SHE WANTED! I dont really care what she does. I see her every day, working illegally, 2 doors down from where my friend works. She sees me coming and turns her back to me. I tried to take the high road and be nice, I would just wave and look away, at least acknowledging her presence. But she doesnt return the favor. She acts as if I never even married her or ever did anything for her. I was actually gonna send a letter to Vermont Service Center requesting that they disregard the packet sent to them including the marriage fraud contract she made and signed, because I felt terrible when I thought about her being potentially banned for life if they accept that. But now I dont care. Yes, I made MY bed, but SHE made HERS too. So she can suffer the consequences of all her immature, foolish actions. and horrible decision making. I am just going on with my life and on June 2nd, if everything goes well in court, it will be like she never happened to me, like the marriage never existed. So I am hoping for the best. I couldnt care less about her now, she is still under investigation by ICE, and she knows that, and she still continues to work and stay here illegally. She is very bold. And she will probably try to stay here for the rest of the Summer, but she'll get detained before then, and I Will laugh my #### off because her ignorance and brazen attitude is pretty funny to not only me, but everyone else who knows her.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
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Thank you!

fruitcakelady, the age difference was never a problem. 8 years isnt a big deal. However, I did think the person I married was more mature, but in the end her true colors were on display and her actions were extremely immature. And why did I let her come home? BECAUSE I LOVED HER. DUH. Yes, it's unfortunate for me that I was the one who was genuine. Nothing I can do about it, I couldnt just stop caring. Maybe if I was truly as cold as she became, I couldve. And the car and vanity plates? Those werent "teases", THOSE WERE THINGS SHE WANTED! I dont really care what she does. I see her every day, working illegally, 2 doors down from where my friend works. She sees me coming and turns her back to me. I tried to take the high road and be nice, I would just wave and look away, at least acknowledging her presence. But she doesnt return the favor. She acts as if I never even married her or ever did anything for her. I was actually gonna send a letter to Vermont Service Center requesting that they disregard the packet sent to them including the marriage fraud contract she made and signed, because I felt terrible when I thought about her being potentially banned for life if they accept that. But now I dont care. Yes, I made MY bed, but SHE made HERS too. So she can suffer the consequences of all her immature, foolish actions. and horrible decision making. I am just going on with my life and on June 2nd, if everything goes well in court, it will be like she never happened to me, like the marriage never existed. So I am hoping for the best. I couldnt care less about her now, she is still under investigation by ICE, and she knows that, and she still continues to work and stay here illegally. She is very bold. And she will probably try to stay here for the rest of the Summer, but she'll get detained before then, and I Will laugh my #### off because her ignorance and brazen attitude is pretty funny to not only me, but everyone else who knows her.

You could care less about her and what she does now??? But, If you read your posts anytime right after you say that then you are still going on about what will happen to her, what she is doing now, where she is working, etc... Honestly, I see a lot of "BLAMING" going on here! You can blame her for this, and blame her for that, but I really don't see you taking any part of those responsibilites even as this thread goes on. I don't think you get that this girl doesn't want to be with you. You keep rambling on and on and on about her and that your over her, only to go back to saying she's being investigateds, she will be deported, etc. If you didn't care what she did you have have come to realize that you need to let her go, You need to let all of her go, not just whatever parts you chose. She don't want to be with you, period! "She can suffer the consequneces of her immature, foolish actions, and horrible decision making"? Well, to be fair to her I have not heard her side of the story, so whether or not her decision making was horible or not I can't say. That's your perspective on all she has done and it may be blurred by both your anger and hurt. Maybe actually her decision making wasn't so horrible. She wanted to get away from you, and she has accomplished that. As a words of constructive criticism, I looked at many of your posts and many of the other web sites you have posted on about your current situation. You have went on and one and on about this whole deal. It was something you though was special. It really wasn't special in her eyes, only yours. You are obessed with attempting to get this girl to love you. It will never ever work. The closer you try to get to her the farther she runs away from you. Face the facts, she doesn't want you. She doesn't want to be around you, and she certainly does not want to have a life with you. Ok, through all this I have seen 99% of everything bad in this relationsip has been her fault. That's where blaming comes into play. Maybe you need to take a good look at yourself and be honest with yourself about some things. After seeing your posts all over the interet, I seriously doubt your a angel as you say through most of this. If yoiu really don't care about her, stop being so worried what happens to her and what she is doing. You don't care about her anymore, remember. If she gets deported, let the proper authorities handle it. Stop trying to get payback because you feel you were done wrong by her, because that is what you are doing. Rise above this payback thing and be the gentleman you tell us all you are. Have "INTEGRITY" do what is honestly right even when others are not looking. Time to get off the pity pot "poor little ole me". Move on with your life, and for God's sake stay out of this girl's life! You already notified immigration of the situation, so I hope you feel you got your payback. Live with your decision on that. Was it a good decision that you did that? Maybe you can have them contact you the day they pick her up to deport her, so you can watch that too. My last point. Through all this you have kept repaeting yourself on she did this, and she did that. If you have really moved on you wouldn't continue to say the same things. Maybe refresh your own memory on this post and reread it. You have changed since the begginni9ng from your posted comments. They say, if your doing the same things and expecting different results will not happen, it will not happen. You need to change your thoughts, feelings, and actions (how you act or reacting to a specific event in your life). Ask yourself, "Am I doing the right thing, both morally and ethically?" Your the one that has to live with youself everyday. If you feel good in your actions each day then that's all that really counts. You don't need to justify all that with everyone else. God Bless you and your "her". I thought her name was Sylvia? Even though you aren't with her, you could just use her name. Using ones name shows a respect for that person.

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Thank you!

fruitcakelady, the age difference was never a problem. 8 years isnt a big deal. However, I did think the person I married was more mature, but in the end her true colors were on display and her actions were extremely immature. And why did I let her come home? BECAUSE I LOVED HER. DUH. Yes, it's unfortunate for me that I was the one who was genuine. Nothing I can do about it, I couldnt just stop caring. Maybe if I was truly as cold as she became, I couldve. And the car and vanity plates? Those werent "teases", THOSE WERE THINGS SHE WANTED! I dont really care what she does. I see her every day, working illegally, 2 doors down from where my friend works. She sees me coming and turns her back to me. I tried to take the high road and be nice, I would just wave and look away, at least acknowledging her presence. But she doesnt return the favor. She acts as if I never even married her or ever did anything for her. I was actually gonna send a letter to Vermont Service Center requesting that they disregard the packet sent to them including the marriage fraud contract she made and signed, because I felt terrible when I thought about her being potentially banned for life if they accept that. But now I dont care. Yes, I made MY bed, but SHE made HERS too. So she can suffer the consequences of all her immature, foolish actions. and horrible decision making. I am just going on with my life and on June 2nd, if everything goes well in court, it will be like she never happened to me, like the marriage never existed. So I am hoping for the best. I couldnt care less about her now, she is still under investigation by ICE, and she knows that, and she still continues to work and stay here illegally. She is very bold. And she will probably try to stay here for the rest of the Summer, but she'll get detained before then, and I Will laugh my #### off because her ignorance and brazen attitude is pretty funny to not only me, but everyone else who knows her.

You could care less about her and what she does now??? But, If you read your posts anytime right after you say that then you are still going on about what will happen to her, what she is doing now, where she is working, etc... Honestly, I see a lot of "BLAMING" going on here! You can blame her for this, and blame her for that, but I really don't see you taking any part of those responsibilites even as this thread goes on. I don't think you get that this girl doesn't want to be with you. You keep rambling on and on and on about her and that your over her, only to go back to saying she's being investigateds, she will be deported, etc. If you didn't care what she did you have have come to realize that you need to let her go, You need to let all of her go, not just whatever parts you chose. She don't want to be with you, period! "She can suffer the consequneces of her immature, foolish actions, and horrible decision making"? Well, to be fair to her I have not heard her side of the story, so whether or not her decision making was horible or not I can't say. That's your perspective on all she has done and it may be blurred by both your anger and hurt. Maybe actually her decision making wasn't so horrible. She wanted to get away from you, and she has accomplished that. As a words of constructive criticism, I looked at many of your posts and many of the other web sites you have posted on about your current situation. You have went on and one and on about this whole deal. It was something you though was special. It really wasn't special in her eyes, only yours. You are obessed with attempting to get this girl to love you. It will never ever work. The closer you try to get to her the farther she runs away from you. Face the facts, she doesn't want you. She doesn't want to be around you, and she certainly does not want to have a life with you. Ok, through all this I have seen 99% of everything bad in this relationsip has been her fault. That's where blaming comes into play. Maybe you need to take a good look at yourself and be honest with yourself about some things. After seeing your posts all over the interet, I seriously doubt your a angel as you say through most of this. If yoiu really don't care about her, stop being so worried what happens to her and what she is doing. You don't care about her anymore, remember. If she gets deported, let the proper authorities handle it. Stop trying to get payback because you feel you were done wrong by her, because that is what you are doing. Rise above this payback thing and be the gentleman you tell us all you are. Have "INTEGRITY" do what is honestly right even when others are not looking. Time to get off the pity pot "poor little ole me". Move on with your life, and for God's sake stay out of this girl's life! You already notified immigration of the situation, so I hope you feel you got your payback. Live with your decision on that. Was it a good decision that you did that? Maybe you can have them contact you the day they pick her up to deport her, so you can watch that too. My last point. Through all this you have kept repaeting yourself on she did this, and she did that. If you have really moved on you wouldn't continue to say the same things. Maybe refresh your own memory on this post and reread it. You have changed since the begginni9ng from your posted comments. They say, if your doing the same things and expecting different results will not happen, it will not happen. You need to change your thoughts, feelings, and actions (how you act or reacting to a specific event in your life). Ask yourself, "Am I doing the right thing, both morally and ethically?" Your the one that has to live with youself everyday. If you feel good in your actions each day then that's all that really counts. You don't need to justify all that with everyone else. God Bless you and your "her". I thought her name was Sylvia? Even though you aren't with her, you could just use her name. Using ones name shows a respect for that person.

IMO when a USC has been scammed this way, and the beneficiary is working illegally and ignoring status problems, calling in the authorities is the right thing. It shows a high degree of integrity to turn in some one you care deeply for, even if you are frustrated with them. Her behavior is the sort that reflects poorly on all potential visa beneficiaries from her country, and one more reason so many visas are denied, or the process is made difficult for legitimate applicants. It contributes to the stereotyping that I was joking about in my rant above. Looking for closure (meaning an annulment for him, and presumably deportation for her) is not the same as payback.

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Mopar, I am glad that you have enough time in your day to scan the net for our names and read up on my situation. Is it that important to you? I can discuss my crappy situation without caring what happens to her as far as immigration goes. Just because I discuss my immigration marriage fraud experience, does not mean I am still "stuck" on her. In fact, I talked with the officer at the ICE office this morning, does that mean I still havent let my wife go? Believe me I have, and I wouldnt be working so hard for annulment if I hadnt. I did let her go, I let her go...right into the open arms of the ICE Supervisor. Yes, I told the officer I did feel bad sometimes about doing this, and that I wished things were different, but this is my life....this is the bed my wife made for herself. She made her own decisions, and NO...I will never take any responsibility for my wife writing a contract and trying to bribe me with a monthly payment and sex with her for one last night as my wife. I take responsibility for treating my wife like a girlfriend sometimes, and not treating as nicely as I could have. I also take responsibility for being impatient too often. But I am NOT responsible for my wives illegal activity. Sorry.

And yeah, I will post about my horrible experience because it helps me deal with all the ####### she left me to deal with. Writing helps me, and I will do whatever helps me, no matter what others say. In fact, I will use my wives negative actions against me and turn it into a positive, and I will start a site for people who have experienced this type of fraud. I'm not the first, and I surely wont be the last!

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
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Post containing personal attacks and posts quoting same removed.

Thank you!

fruitcakelady, the age difference was never a problem. 8 years isnt a big deal. However, I did think the person I married was more mature, but in the end her true colors were on display and her actions were extremely immature. And why did I let her come home? BECAUSE I LOVED HER. DUH. Yes, it's unfortunate for me that I was the one who was genuine. Nothing I can do about it, I couldnt just stop caring. Maybe if I was truly as cold as she became, I couldve. And the car and vanity plates? Those werent "teases", THOSE WERE THINGS SHE WANTED! I dont really care what she does. I see her every day, working illegally, 2 doors down from where my friend works. She sees me coming and turns her back to me. I tried to take the high road and be nice, I would just wave and look away, at least acknowledging her presence. But she doesnt return the favor. She acts as if I never even married her or ever did anything for her. I was actually gonna send a letter to Vermont Service Center requesting that they disregard the packet sent to them including the marriage fraud contract she made and signed, because I felt terrible when I thought about her being potentially banned for life if they accept that. But now I dont care. Yes, I made MY bed, but SHE made HERS too. So she can suffer the consequences of all her immature, foolish actions. and horrible decision making. I am just going on with my life and on June 2nd, if everything goes well in court, it will be like she never happened to me, like the marriage never existed. So I am hoping for the best. I couldnt care less about her now, she is still under investigation by ICE, and she knows that, and she still continues to work and stay here illegally. She is very bold. And she will probably try to stay here for the rest of the Summer, but she'll get detained before then, and I Will laugh my #### off because her ignorance and brazen attitude is pretty funny to not only me, but everyone else who knows her.

You could care less about her and what she does now??? But, If you read your posts anytime right after you say that then you are still going on about what will happen to her, what she is doing now, where she is working, etc... Honestly, I see a lot of "BLAMING" going on here! You can blame her for this, and blame her for that, but I really don't see you taking any part of those responsibilites even as this thread goes on. I don't think you get that this girl doesn't want to be with you. You keep rambling on and on and on about her and that your over her, only to go back to saying she's being investigateds, she will be deported, etc. If you didn't care what she did you have have come to realize that you need to let her go, You need to let all of her go, not just whatever parts you chose. She don't want to be with you, period! "She can suffer the consequneces of her immature, foolish actions, and horrible decision making"? Well, to be fair to her I have not heard her side of the story, so whether or not her decision making was horible or not I can't say. That's your perspective on all she has done and it may be blurred by both your anger and hurt. Maybe actually her decision making wasn't so horrible. She wanted to get away from you, and she has accomplished that. As a words of constructive criticism, I looked at many of your posts and many of the other web sites you have posted on about your current situation. You have went on and one and on about this whole deal. It was something you though was special. It really wasn't special in her eyes, only yours. You are obessed with attempting to get this girl to love you. It will never ever work. The closer you try to get to her the farther she runs away from you. Face the facts, she doesn't want you. She doesn't want to be around you, and she certainly does not want to have a life with you. Ok, through all this I have seen 99% of everything bad in this relationsip has been her fault. That's where blaming comes into play. Maybe you need to take a good look at yourself and be honest with yourself about some things. After seeing your posts all over the interet, I seriously doubt your a angel as you say through most of this. If yoiu really don't care about her, stop being so worried what happens to her and what she is doing. You don't care about her anymore, remember. If she gets deported, let the proper authorities handle it. Stop trying to get payback because you feel you were done wrong by her, because that is what you are doing. Rise above this payback thing and be the gentleman you tell us all you are. Have "INTEGRITY" do what is honestly right even when others are not looking. Time to get off the pity pot "poor little ole me". Move on with your life, and for God's sake stay out of this girl's life! You already notified immigration of the situation, so I hope you feel you got your payback. Live with your decision on that. Was it a good decision that you did that? Maybe you can have them contact you the day they pick her up to deport her, so you can watch that too. My last point. Through all this you have kept repaeting yourself on she did this, and she did that. If you have really moved on you wouldn't continue to say the same things. Maybe refresh your own memory on this post and reread it. You have changed since the begginni9ng from your posted comments. They say, if your doing the same things and expecting different results will not happen, it will not happen. You need to change your thoughts, feelings, and actions (how you act or reacting to a specific event in your life). Ask yourself, "Am I doing the right thing, both morally and ethically?" Your the one that has to live with youself everyday. If you feel good in your actions each day then that's all that really counts. You don't need to justify all that with everyone else. God Bless you and your "her". I thought her name was Sylvia? Even though you aren't with her, you could just use her name. Using ones name shows a respect for that person.

IMO when a USC has been scammed this way, and the beneficiary is working illegally and ignoring status problems, calling in the authorities is the right thing. It shows a high degree of integrity to turn in some one you care deeply for, even if you are frustrated with them. Her behavior is the sort that reflects poorly on all potential visa beneficiaries from her country, and one more reason so many visas are denied, or the process is made difficult for legitimate applicants. It contributes to the stereotyping that I was joking about in my rant above. Looking for closure (meaning an annulment for him, and presumably deportation for her) is not the same as payback.

As I mentioned in my above post, Integrity is doing what is right when no one is watching. I believe by reporting the incident to immigration, Merrillizer did what was right. If this was indeed a scam, then she should be reported! If the USC feels he is giving her payback for leaving him, then thats another issue. I do agree that issues like this is what makes the process harder for the rest of us to bring our loved ones here. I in no way condone her actions, but I don't know the whole story. I only hear one side, and what I am suppose to believe is the facts. I am in no way attacting the USC. but trying only to help with constructive critism. Sometimes when we have been hurt in this fashion, it is hard to see through the clouds hovering over us at the time and see what is actually real. Our prespective of things becomes fuzzy. I only hope for his sake he can get over this emotional trama and realize that reality is what is really happening in his life at this time. We all must accept what we are, who we are, and what is really happening in our lives today. Whether it be good or bad in our eyes. That is real reality. Bless You Merrillizer! I hope you can find peace within yourself.

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Post containing personal attacks and posts quoting same removed.

Thank you!

fruitcakelady, the age difference was never a problem. 8 years isnt a big deal. However, I did think the person I married was more mature, but in the end her true colors were on display and her actions were extremely immature. And why did I let her come home? BECAUSE I LOVED HER. DUH. Yes, it's unfortunate for me that I was the one who was genuine. Nothing I can do about it, I couldnt just stop caring. Maybe if I was truly as cold as she became, I couldve. And the car and vanity plates? Those werent "teases", THOSE WERE THINGS SHE WANTED! I dont really care what she does. I see her every day, working illegally, 2 doors down from where my friend works. She sees me coming and turns her back to me. I tried to take the high road and be nice, I would just wave and look away, at least acknowledging her presence. But she doesnt return the favor. She acts as if I never even married her or ever did anything for her. I was actually gonna send a letter to Vermont Service Center requesting that they disregard the packet sent to them including the marriage fraud contract she made and signed, because I felt terrible when I thought about her being potentially banned for life if they accept that. But now I dont care. Yes, I made MY bed, but SHE made HERS too. So she can suffer the consequences of all her immature, foolish actions. and horrible decision making. I am just going on with my life and on June 2nd, if everything goes well in court, it will be like she never happened to me, like the marriage never existed. So I am hoping for the best. I couldnt care less about her now, she is still under investigation by ICE, and she knows that, and she still continues to work and stay here illegally. She is very bold. And she will probably try to stay here for the rest of the Summer, but she'll get detained before then, and I Will laugh my #### off because her ignorance and brazen attitude is pretty funny to not only me, but everyone else who knows her.

You could care less about her and what she does now??? But, If you read your posts anytime right after you say that then you are still going on about what will happen to her, what she is doing now, where she is working, etc... Honestly, I see a lot of "BLAMING" going on here! You can blame her for this, and blame her for that, but I really don't see you taking any part of those responsibilites even as this thread goes on. I don't think you get that this girl doesn't want to be with you. You keep rambling on and on and on about her and that your over her, only to go back to saying she's being investigateds, she will be deported, etc. If you didn't care what she did you have have come to realize that you need to let her go, You need to let all of her go, not just whatever parts you chose. She don't want to be with you, period! "She can suffer the consequneces of her immature, foolish actions, and horrible decision making"? Well, to be fair to her I have not heard her side of the story, so whether or not her decision making was horible or not I can't say. That's your perspective on all she has done and it may be blurred by both your anger and hurt. Maybe actually her decision making wasn't so horrible. She wanted to get away from you, and she has accomplished that. As a words of constructive criticism, I looked at many of your posts and many of the other web sites you have posted on about your current situation. You have went on and one and on about this whole deal. It was something you though was special. It really wasn't special in her eyes, only yours. You are obessed with attempting to get this girl to love you. It will never ever work. The closer you try to get to her the farther she runs away from you. Face the facts, she doesn't want you. She doesn't want to be around you, and she certainly does not want to have a life with you. Ok, through all this I have seen 99% of everything bad in this relationsip has been her fault. That's where blaming comes into play. Maybe you need to take a good look at yourself and be honest with yourself about some things. After seeing your posts all over the interet, I seriously doubt your a angel as you say through most of this. If yoiu really don't care about her, stop being so worried what happens to her and what she is doing. You don't care about her anymore, remember. If she gets deported, let the proper authorities handle it. Stop trying to get payback because you feel you were done wrong by her, because that is what you are doing. Rise above this payback thing and be the gentleman you tell us all you are. Have "INTEGRITY" do what is honestly right even when others are not looking. Time to get off the pity pot "poor little ole me". Move on with your life, and for God's sake stay out of this girl's life! You already notified immigration of the situation, so I hope you feel you got your payback. Live with your decision on that. Was it a good decision that you did that? Maybe you can have them contact you the day they pick her up to deport her, so you can watch that too. My last point. Through all this you have kept repaeting yourself on she did this, and she did that. If you have really moved on you wouldn't continue to say the same things. Maybe refresh your own memory on this post and reread it. You have changed since the begginni9ng from your posted comments. They say, if your doing the same things and expecting different results will not happen, it will not happen. You need to change your thoughts, feelings, and actions (how you act or reacting to a specific event in your life). Ask yourself, "Am I doing the right thing, both morally and ethically?" Your the one that has to live with youself everyday. If you feel good in your actions each day then that's all that really counts. You don't need to justify all that with everyone else. God Bless you and your "her". I thought her name was Sylvia? Even though you aren't with her, you could just use her name. Using ones name shows a respect for that person.

IMO when a USC has been scammed this way, and the beneficiary is working illegally and ignoring status problems, calling in the authorities is the right thing. It shows a high degree of integrity to turn in some one you care deeply for, even if you are frustrated with them. Her behavior is the sort that reflects poorly on all potential visa beneficiaries from her country, and one more reason so many visas are denied, or the process is made difficult for legitimate applicants. It contributes to the stereotyping that I was joking about in my rant above. Looking for closure (meaning an annulment for him, and presumably deportation for her) is not the same as payback.

As I mentioned in my above post, Integrity is doing what is right when no one is watching. I believe by reporting the incident to immigration, Merrillizer did what was right. If this was indeed a scam, then she should be reported! If the USC feels he is giving her payback for leaving him, then thats another issue. I do agree that issues like this is what makes the process harder for the rest of us to bring our loved ones here. I in no way condone her actions, but I don't know the whole story. I only hear one side, and what I am suppose to believe is the facts. I am in no way attacting the USC. but trying only to help with constructive critism. Sometimes when we have been hurt in this fashion, it is hard to see through the clouds hovering over us at the time and see what is actually real. Our prespective of things becomes fuzzy. I only hope for his sake he can get over this emotional trama and realize that reality is what is really happening in his life at this time. We all must accept what we are, who we are, and what is really happening in our lives today. Whether it be good or bad in our eyes. That is real reality. Bless You Merrillizer! I hope you can find peace within yourself.

Nicely said :thumbs:

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