JOKE TIME......

[=FoxyBLUE= 2]

FUNNY PINOY ADS AND SIGNS

posted outside a house

HOUSE FOR RENT, FULLY FURNACED

posted at a construction site

BAWAL OMEHI DITO, ANG MAHOLE BOG-BOG

in a restaurant in cebu

WE HAB SOP-DRINK IN CAN AN IN BATOL

in a supermarket

FRESH FROZEN CHICKEN SOLD HERE

in a building in cubao

NONE ID,NOTHING ENTRY

on a glass window of a photography shop

WE SHOOT YOU, WHILE YOU WAIT

outside a shoe store

WE SELL IMPORTED ROBBER SHOES

inside a jeepney

1. FULL STRING TO STOP DRIVER

2. GOD KNOWS HUDAS NOT PAY

in a chinatown in greenhills

LE CHENG TEA HOUSE

vacant lot near makati avenue

DONT PARKING

[LasVegasUSA 0]

FUNNY PINOY ADS AND SIGNS

posted outside a house

HOUSE FOR RENT, FULLY FURNACED

posted at a construction site

BAWAL OMEHI DITO, ANG MAHOLE BOG-BOG

in a restaurant in cebu

WE HAB SOP-DRINK IN CAN AN IN BATOL

in a supermarket

FRESH FROZEN CHICKEN SOLD HERE

in a building in cubao

NONE ID,NOTHING ENTRY

on a glass window of a photography shop

WE SHOOT YOU, WHILE YOU WAIT

outside a shoe store

WE SELL IMPORTED ROBBER SHOES

inside a jeepney

1. FULL STRING TO STOP DRIVER

2. GOD KNOWS HUDAS NOT PAY

in a chinatown in greenhills

LE CHENG TEA HOUSE

vacant lot near makati avenue

DONT PARKING

JOKE JOKE TIME

An American woman "of a certain age" visited her doctor to ask his help in reviving her husband's sex drive.

"What about trying Viagra?", asked the doctor.

"Not a chance," she said. "He won't even take an aspirin."

"Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Drop it into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went."

A week later she rang up the doctor who directly inquired as to progress.

The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! "Twas horrid. Just terrible, Doctor."

"Really? What happened?", asked the doctor.

"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee, didn't I? The effect was almost immediate. He jumped himself straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, making wild, mad, passionate love to me on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you!"

"Why so terrible?", asked the doctor. " Do you mean you didn't enjoy it?"

"Of course I did doctor! Indeed, 'twas the best sex I've had in 25 years. But I'll never be able to show my face in Starbucks again!"

HEHEHEHE

[LasVegasUSA 0]

Joke of d day

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else… One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I’ll give you a $100 if you let me screw you. But the girl said NO.

Johnny said, "I’ll be fast. I’ll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I’ll be finished by the time you pick it up. "She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend… So she called her boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won’t even be able to get his pants down."

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.

She responded, "The ####### used coins!"

[Raeka 0]

Tutoy: 'Tay! 'Tay! Ano daw bang Ingles ng saging?

Tatay: Oh! (nag-iisip) Edi Saba!

Tutoy: (nagtataka) hmmm.. Eh bakit sabi ni Nanay Banana daw?!!

Tatay: Ah! Eh kapag hinog na!

[LasVegasUSA 0]

Would You Marry Again?

A husband and wife were lying in bed together one night. The wife rolled over and placed her hand lovingly on the chest of her husband.

"Honey," the wife said, "if I died would you get married again?"

The husband said, "Never, my dear."

The wife said, "I''m sure you would."

So the husband said, "Okay, I would"

"Would you let her sleep in our bed?" the wife asked.

And the husband replied, "I suppose so."

Then the wife asked, "Would you let her wear my clothes?"

"I doubt she''d want to," the husband said. "She''d be so much thinner."

[shang 0]

may isang matanda na nag lalakad, nakasalubong ng isang gwapo at machong lalaki

matanda: gwapo, sinumpa alo, tulungan mo ako

gwapo: talaga po?

matanda: oo, tulungan mo ako

gwapo: paano mo

matanda: kung maki pag sex ka sa akin babalik ang dati kung anyo, babata ako at sisexy

gwapo: talaga po

matanda: oo, cge na

after nag sex

gwapo: bakit ganyan pa rin ang itsura mo?

matanda: ilan taon ka na ba?

gwapo:28

matanda: sa tanda mo yan, naniniwala ka pa?????

[=FoxyBLUE= 2]

may isang matanda na nag lalakad, nakasalubong ng isang gwapo at machong lalaki

matanda: gwapo, sinumpa alo, tulungan mo ako

gwapo: talaga po?

matanda: oo, tulungan mo ako

gwapo: paano mo

matanda: kung maki pag sex ka sa akin babalik ang dati kung anyo, babata ako at sisexy

gwapo: talaga po

matanda: oo, cge na

after nag sex

gwapo: bakit ganyan pa rin ang itsura mo?

matanda: ilan taon ka na ba?

gwapo:28

matanda: sa tanda mo yan, naniniwala ka pa?????

hahahahaaha

[Raeka 0]

Nyahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gusto 'ko 'to!!!..

Joke of d day

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else… One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me screw you. But the girl said NO.

Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. "She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend… So she called her boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down."

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.

She responded, "The ####### used coins!"

[shang 0]

isang kagalang galang na ginoo dahil sa mga sumusunod:

1. Sobra taas ng pinag aralan kaya puro kaBABUYAN lang ang alam..spelling ng wat ever ay wala sa dicitonary. pROUD PA SIYA..

2. Sobra ang baho ng UTAK... syempre pa..kung anong puno siya din ang bunga.

3. Palagay ko..sinong nagturo sa kanya sa mga kababuyan na pinasasabi niya...Aba sino pa...e di Lola niya.. assisted by his Mother..clap clap clap..galing galing ng mga nagturo sa kanya.

3. Kabisado ang dogstyle..kasi noong gawin siya.. DOGSTYLE DIN..KAYA WALANG LAMAN ANG UTAK KUNDI KABABUYAN...

aNG pINOY NGA NAMAN....GAANO BA KAHABA AT KALAKI YANG PINAYAYABANG MONG PANG DOG STYLE...BAKA maliit LANG YAN...MAG TALONG NALANG KAMI...DAMI PA MAPIPILING SIZES...

ETIQUETTE

may nanay meron siyang tatlong anak na babae,

nagsidalaw sa bahay nila ang mga boyfriend ng mga anak niya..

isa-isa nagkulong sa mga kwarto ang mga anak niyang babae kasama ang mga boyfriend nito..

na curious ang nanay kaya dali-dali ito umakyat para makinig sa kwarto ng mga anak..

unang kwarto narinig niyang tumatawa..

pangalawa kwarto narinig niyang umiiyak..

pangatlo kwarto ay wala siya marinig..

naisip ng nanay kung anu problema ng pangatlo niyang anak na labis niya kinabahala at naisip niyang kausapin ang pangatlong anak sa hapagkainan..

sa hapagkainan..

tinanong ng nanay ang unang anak at sabi ay bakit ka tumatawa?sabi ng kanyang anak di ba sabi niyo nay,LAUGH WHEN IT TICKLES!alam niya na ano ang ginawa ng kanyang anak..

sa pangalawa sabi niya ay ikaw anak bakit ka naman umiiyak?di ba sabi niyo nay,CRY WHEN IT HURTS!alam niya narin ano ang ginawa..

sa pangatlo na labis siya nababahala sabi niya ay anak ikaw anu ang nangyari sa inyo di ka ba natuwa o naiyak o anu?sabi ng kanyang anak diba sabi niyo nay DONT TALK WHEN YOUR MOUTH IS FULL!NANAY(ALAM NA ANU GINAWA)

HAHAHAHA--(OO NGA NAMAN)

[shang 0]

Prospective Employer to Applicant: " So why did you leave your previous job?"

Applicant: " The company relocated and they did not tell me where!"

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Bisaya 1: " Gara ng kutsi, siguro kay Miyur iyan."!

Bisaya 2: " Dili bay!"

Bisaya 1: " Kay Hipi?"

Bisaya 2: " Tuntu ka man. Kay FATHER iyan. Gisulat niya sa likud o, "'SAFARI'."

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Misis: " Sir, mananawagan po sana ako sa mister ko kasi dinala niya ang limang anak namin."

Radio Host: " Ok, go ahead!"

Misis: " Honey, ibalik mo na ang mga bata, isa lang naman ang sa iyo diyan!"

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Hello! Heto na naman ako. Gulung-gulo ulit ang isip ko. May nais lang sana akong itanong sa inyo. Alam ko matutulungan niyo ako, Ang BIRDS FLU ba ay past tense ng BIRDS FLY?

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Nakasakay ka sa FX, ng ikaw ay mautot. Buti na lang malakas ang tugtog. Bawat pag-utot, sabay sa tugtog. Nang ikaw ay bumaba, ang sasama ng tingin nila sa iyo, bigla mong naalala...naka Walkman ka pala!

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WIFE: Himala! aga mong umuwi ngayon.

HUSBAND: Sunod ko lang utos ng boss ko. Sabi nya "GO TO HELL", kaya ito uwi agad ako.

_______________________________________________________________

Lasing (takot): may multo sa banyo natin!

Wife: ha? Bakit?

Lasing: kasi bumubukas yung ilaw pag papasok ako ng banyo eh.

Wife: punyeta ka! ikaw pala umiihi sa ref!

Juan: bday ng asawa ko

Pedro: ano regalo mo?

Juan: tinanong ko kung ano gusto niya.

P: ano naman sinabi?

J: Kahit ano basta may DIAMOND.

P: ano binigay mo?

J: Baraha.

________________________________________________________________

Pedro: Galing ako sa doktor, nakabili na ko ng hearing aid. Grabe! ang linaw na ng pandinig ko!

Juan: Talaga?! Magkano bili mo?

Pedro: Kahapon lang

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Teacher: We are descendants of Adam and Eve!

Student: That's not true! My dad sez we are descendants of an Ape!

Teacher: We are not talking about your FAMILY!

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Wife: Lab, may taning na ang buhay ko. Huling gabi ko na to, let's make love.

Husband: Heh! tumigil ka nga. maaga pa akong gigising bukas, buti ikaw hindi na.

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KRIMINAL1: "Pare, sigurado ka bang dito dadaan yung papatayin natin?"

KRIMINAL2: "Oo, nagtataka nga ako, 1 oras na tayo dito wala parin siya!

Sana naman walang nangyaring masama sa kanya."