For those who are waiting for there lovers to come!!

[Natashas_eyes 0]

I am like you and it is difficult. He is currently working in Rabat and we haven't talked in almost a week. The interview is coming close and I want him to know the packet will be arriving very soon, but his phone is being repaired.

Generally, after work, I would speak to him, just the status of everything online, do some things at home, maybe watch a little tv and go to bed. I haven't been able to focus on much of anything. Now I am seeking a new place to live and I think about what I can do to make his arrival here special. I sometimes go with friends, but often times I don't feel like it.

I try to keep my mind busy by researching odd facts or learning something new.

I hope for the best for you and of course, there is always making and meeting new friends and talking like this

~Natasha

I'm having a hard time finding something to do in my free time. I work from 7AM to 3:45 PM as soon as I live work I go to work out for an our than call my wife for an hour or two, thats it. I get boored in the weekend and when I go out with friends I don't feel good about it. like last weekend I went to Myrtle beach for spring break with a lot off college student I enjoyed my time but I felt bad because she wasn't with me. since I got married Everything that I do, I Don't enjoy anymore.

lets share our experiences while we are waiting for our lovers to come to the US.

Open for suggestion from experienced people.

[adam1 1]

I am like you and it is difficult. He is currently working in Rabat and we haven't talked in almost a week. The interview is coming close and I want him to know the packet will be arriving very soon, but his phone is being repaired.

Generally, after work, I would speak to him, just the status of everything online, do some things at home, maybe watch a little tv and go to bed. I haven't been able to focus on much of anything. Now I am seeking a new place to live and I think about what I can do to make his arrival here special. I sometimes go with friends, but often times I don't feel like it.

I try to keep my mind busy by researching odd facts or learning something new.

I hope for the best for you and of course, there is always making and meeting new friends and talking like this

~Natasha

I hear u Natashas, Thanks for sharing. I do very much the same thing you do. I want to share this with u there is a cheap way to call Morocco from USA

if he can get buy a WANA cell phone. the phone cost about $20 one time price than you pay $5 a week and you can talk 24/7 no additional charge. go to www.kleema.com deema direct. i used it for 4 months so far no problems.

[childress_london 3]

Sounds like she may be depressed from missing you. Encourage her to stay busy. :-)

may be she is depressed from missing me or from the whole situation.

she is busy with college. I asked her today if she gets made when we are in the phone and we got nothing to talk about? she said yes I do, and I asked her why? she said I would be woundring if our life will be that booring when we live together. I said of course no we will have 4 kids you will be changing Dypers....taking them to school.. cooking for me...I promised her she won't be boored at all. than she said I don't mind doing all that but I don't want you to forget about me about our love, I want you to stay romantic , I want to be happy. taraaaaaaaaa I want the same thing.

finaly I got her to talk for 3 hours, I fall in sleep twise during that conversation then she got mad because I slept she asked me if i was boored? I was like no no not at all, I felt safe and peace while you were talking to me thats why I slept but I was realy tired from work.lol. talking sweet to her made her day, I also told her that it doesn't matter if we got nothing to talk about over the phone everybody got that problem and its ok, I still love you and that wont change!!!!

I felt stupid when I finaly got her to talk than fall in sleep while she was talking, tell me that I'm not a D ####!!!

When the two of you are together, there will a lot more to do than just talk. I don't think you will get bored. It's so different when you are just on the phone. You can't base your relationship on phone calls. :-)

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

My lover he may not come so I'm going there to be together anyway.

[Kenza 1]

Sounds like she may be depressed from missing you. Encourage her to stay busy. :-)

may be she is depressed from missing me or from the whole situation.

she is busy with college. I asked her today if she gets made when we are in the phone and we got nothing to talk about? she said yes I do, and I asked her why? she said I would be woundring if our life will be that booring when we live together. I said of course no we will have 4 kids you will be changing Dypers....taking them to school.. cooking for me...I promised her she won't be boored at all. than she said I don't mind doing all that but I don't want you to forget about me about our love, I want you to stay romantic , I want to be happy. taraaaaaaaaa I want the same thing.

finaly I got her to talk for 3 hours, I fall in sleep twise during that conversation then she got mad because I slept she asked me if i was boored? I was like no no not at all, I felt safe and peace while you were talking to me thats why I slept but I was realy tired from work.lol. talking sweet to her made her day, I also told her that it doesn't matter if we got nothing to talk about over the phone everybody got that problem and its ok, I still love you and that wont change!!!!

I felt stupid when I finaly got her to talk than fall in sleep while she was talking, tell me that I'm not a D ####!!!

haha I laughed when I read this because it sounds like me when I'm talking to my hubby...sorry baby!

[ya falaha! 0]

LOL I had to laugh about the diapers and cooking comment. Sounds like your wife's in for fun and exciting times, lol. Sorry but it struck me as funny.

In our experience, the conversations didn't increase once my husband got here. I have days where I barely talk at all or find it hard to find something worthwhile to talk about. You and your wife may find it easier since you share a common language and were raised in the same society/culture. I think that hinders my husband and me at times. Not finding common ground on some subjects. Or I feel he can't relate and probably vice versa. Oh and I use "big" words a lot...hahaha. But on the up side daily activities and outings do buffer the lack of communication at times.

Edited April 8, 2009 by Astarte

[adam1 1]

LOL. I'm happy now. I thought I was the only one suffering. but I guess everybody on VJ is.lol

[childress_london 3]

OK well here is a story from my Mom's life. She is from France. My dad is American. When he met her in France, she didn't speak much English and he didn't speak much French. But they ended up married. :-) I asked her how did they communicate and she just smiled and said you don't need to talk to communicate.

[Sandrila 1]

that was so sweet Sandrila. last time I saw my wife was 4 month and 9 days.

I have another problem, when we talk in the phone we actualy got nothing to talk about. i would ask her how was her day? how is her family? what did you eat for lunch? I would BS for little bit than thats it. 10 munites latter we got nothing to talk about. I told her her do I need to talk to you ones a week so we will have something to talk about? she said what ever you think, then I decided not to call her for a week. 3 days latter she call me and left me 3 messages she said that she got an important question about her passport... I knew she missed me but she didn't want to say that hahaha. Anyways I don't Know what to do with her, when I call her she doesn't talk much and when I don't she freak out. I have no D she loves me, but she is young (21 years old, I'm 29) and never being in a relationship before. she need to improve her communication skills with her Hubby before I give up.

Abdelkrim

Is it neat to hear things from man's perspective. There were definitely times I felt a slave to the computer and our frustration sometimes would lead to silence and even fighting. We were able to talk so much and even though I needed to talk to him everyday it just seemed we would have less and less to talk about. I was here working and having plenty to keep me busy and he was over there with no real quality of life or activities. He was far more depressed and deprived than me and it just tore me apart. I felt like I had to sit around and do nothing in order for him not to feel left out.

When you just sit in front of the computer or talk on the phone for hours upon hours everyday you do run out of things to say and you end up just bickering. It was an awful time but sometimes we would just find comfort in knowing we were together even though we were so far.

I am the starter wife for my husband too and I think it takes time to learn the ins and outs of relationships and the opposite sex

It was a routine but it gets tiring just sitting in one place for hours every night after sitting all day at work.

[adam1 1]

OK well here is a story from my Mom's life. She is from France. My dad is American. When he met her in France, she didn't speak much English and he didn't speak much French. But they ended up married. :-) I asked her how did they communicate and she just smiled and said you don't need to talk to communicate.

did you learn French from you mom? I do speak Arabic, Berber and French. I'm from Morocco originally, I came to the US 6 years ago. I don't think I have a culture problem with my wife, But some times I fell like I do have some differences with her when it come to organizing things and thinking ahead of time. she told me I become Americanized... well I may which is a good thing...

I asked her last week to get a police certificate and it took me two weeks to convince her to do that witch its just frustrating sometimes to deal with Foreigners. I'm here doing everything I can to make our VJ smood and to make our life easy when she get here and she just don't get it.

[sandinista! 1,816]

what were the circumstances of you coming to the united states? how did you come to live here, family?

[Ban Hammer 13,669]

For those who are waiting for there lovers to come!!, What you do in your free time

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sometimes i read a book. other times i watch tv. nessa gets really annoyed with me when i do that though........

[childress_london 3]

OK well here is a story from my Mom's life. She is from France. My dad is American. When he met her in France, she didn't speak much English and he didn't speak much French. But they ended up married. :-) I asked her how did they communicate and she just smiled and said you don't need to talk to communicate.

did you learn French from you mom? I do speak Arabic, Berber and French. I'm from Morocco originally, I came to the US 6 years ago. I don't think I have a culture problem with my wife, But some times I fell like I do have some differences with her when it come to organizing things and thinking ahead of time. she told me I become Americanized... well I may which is a good thing...

I asked her last week to get a police certificate and it took me two weeks to convince her to do that witch its just frustrating sometimes to deal with Foreigners. I'm here doing everything I can to make our VJ smood and to make our life easy when she get here and she just don't get it.

No, my mom didn't really teach me French growing up. I asked her why not before and she said because she was too busy learning English! LOL. What French I know I mainly learned in college. But I did grow up hearing her speak it on the phone with her relatives or the occasional French friend she would have. Everyone I have met who has a French mother speaks French. I feel like a misfit. :-P I'm sure you will have some cultural differences with your wife. Some of it may just be personality differences too. Hopefully she will learn to trust your judgment in time. :-)

[adam1 1]

what were the circumstances of you coming to the united states? how did you come to live here, family?

I came here through the Diversity Lottery program http://travel.state.gov/visa/immigrants/types/types_1322.html . I don't have any family member here, never being married before... I dated on and off while I was in college and non of those girls were what I was looking for, they were just wild and I didn't think they will be good mothers of my children (I'm not here to judge), I may be wrong because.. after I finish school got a job bought a house got my Citizenship decided its time for me to do the right thing and get married. guess what last Christmas I went to Morocco and got married with a girl that I never met before, it was arranged by my family.. My coworkers were lol at me when I got back married they told how can you make a life decision so fast they told me I'm crazy..what ever I told them love will come after.. that's my life story. let me know if you want to know more about me? what was the reason behind your question if you don't mind?

[Kenza 1]

off topic kind of...my Moroccan dad came here on a sponsorship to go to UC Davis where he met my mom They lived in Morocco for a little bit but then came back to the US and we've been here ever since. Both me and my sis were born here