For those who are waiting for there lovers to come!!

[M_n_M 1]

Well as of right now I've been visiting my hubby, so I'm not exactly away from him, but I still have to keep myself busy. I finished school one month before we got married, was with him a month, came back to the US, petitioned for him, Dec I came to visit him and right now I'm having to amuse myself while he goes to work here....so i'm studying for the GRE in order to apply for my PhD once I return, learning to cook new things, and helping him plan for the interview. I pray for the best for all of us waiting for our hubbys' to be with us in the US.

[amysaid 9]

I am in nursing school and i have a five year old little girl, so there is ALWAYS something to do... not to mention all the tv i have dvr'd

[adam1 1]

I am in nursing school and i have a five year old little girl, so there is ALWAYS something to do... not to mention all the tv i have dvr'd

O my good DVR, why did you have to remind me, my X girl friend was addicted to it. she will wacth a show after show non stop all day, I couldn't get her to do anything. but to be honest i liked Two & Half Men,CSI,C mind,NYPD.....I have the Arabic Dish network satelite not bad , but no shows like DVR.

I think I need to find me friends who are going through the same process so I can vent and share idea. that will probably help me little bit.

[~Jackie~ 30]

I play solitaire, drink instant coffee and I have the whitest whites in Illinois

jJ

[adam1 1]

I play solitaire, drink instant coffee and I have the whitest whites in Illinois

jJ

I see how it is. I'm in North Carolina, i drink sweet Ice tea and enjoy out doors....But I still get boored some times. I think I need to change my friend and find me some that are going through the VJ so I can vent because the friends that I have now are not wellling to listen to me.

[childress_london 3]

It's always good to have sympathetic friends.

[Sandrila 1]

I would say that hubby and I spent about 2 1/2 years in our long distance relationship. At first I was visiting more frequently and it wasnt so bad but once we hired an attorney and started this process I couldnt swing the visits as much plus if we were going to have a life here, I couldnt very well be gone if I wanted to keep my job and still make a living. My kids are here too so that definitely kept me busy and occupied.

The time went more fast when I threw myself into my work...I just would get to work by 7am and not come home till near 9 (I had 2 jobs). Then we would talk all night long and I would have the same routine everyday. I even worked Saturdays. I got to a point where the uncertainty and the waiting really got to me and I was only able to see him like every 10 months. I really feel for those of you who have stuck it out not seeing each other for 1-2 years. I dont know if we would have survived that.

I am happy to read these comments, because before I found this site, I really felt alone and wondered if other people felt that void, concern, sadness and loneliness that goes along with being separated from the one you love. I felt at times that it would never end and wondered what if he couldn't come. Really a dreadful time but we made it through and you will too!

My husband basically let himself rot away there whereas I have always been very social and was extremely busy with the kids and work. My time certainly went faster and was more productive. I felt bad because I didn't want to sit around and just be chained to the computer. I wanted to keep occupied because I knew if I just sat around I would become more depressed. GOD we are thankful for MSN messenger, the web cam and micro....it made us feel we were right there with each other. The hard part was on him because he had to sit very long hours late at night and into the wee hours of the morning just to talk to me and keep us close. Most times he walked 30 mins in either direction to the cafe and didnt have a comfortable chair or privacy. I would be going to sleep at 1 am and he would be just getting home and trying to sleep at 7am. I love you for that BABY!

They were just hard times indeed....

Lastly I want to say. PRAY. Find your hope and strength in GOD, he came through for us every time and GOD WILL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU NEED

[adam1 1]

that was so sweet Sandrila. last time I saw my wife was 4 month and 9 days.

I have another problem, when we talk in the phone we actualy got nothing to talk about. i would ask her how was her day? how is her family? what did you eat for lunch? I would BS for little bit than thats it. 10 munites latter we got nothing to talk about. I told her her do I need to talk to you ones a week so we will have something to talk about? she said what ever you think, then I decided not to call her for a week. 3 days latter she call me and left me 3 messages she said that she got an important question about her passport... I knew she missed me but she didn't want to say that hahaha. Anyways I don't Know what to do with her, when I call her she doesn't talk much and when I don't she freak out. I have no D she loves me, but she is young (21 years old, I'm 29) and never being in a relationship before. she need to improve her communication skills with her Hubby before I give up.

[childress_london 3]

It's OK if you really don't have anything to talk about. Just knowing the other person is at the other end of the line is enough! Really! It's not the conversation at this point that's important. It's the attempt to be together, even if it is just small talk on the phone. If you are really bothered by this, then start keeping up with current events in the news. Maybe something will catch your attention, or something you wonder what her opinion is on the matter and bring it up during your next call. Just telling her little things you did that day, like what you had to eat, or who you talked to are important too. They might seem insignificant to you, but to somebody who misses you, it means a lot. Even if your phone calls are just five minutes to "check in" and make sure everything is OK, that's great.

[Imua 0]

It's OK if you really don't have anything to talk about. Just knowing the other person is at the other end of the line is enough! Really! It's not the conversation at this point that's important. It's the attempt to be together, even if it is just small talk on the phone. If you are really bothered by this, then start keeping up with current events in the news. Maybe something will catch your attention, or something you wonder what her opinion is on the matter and bring it up during your next call. Just telling her little things you did that day, like what you had to eat, or who you talked to are important too. They might seem insignificant to you, but to somebody who misses you, it means a lot. Even if your phone calls are just five minutes to "check in" and make sure everything is OK, that's great.

Very true.... We have to deal with the power cuts (load shedding) in Nepal, sometimes 16 hours per day... That combined with the 10 hour time difference means it's very hard to communicate sometimes... Just being able to chat for 10 minutes and knowing we are thinking about each other means so much, especially when he didn't have the net access at home and had to go to a cybercafe.

[ya falaha! 0]

I had the same experience before my husband got here....nothing to talk about. The more you talk, the faster you run out of things to talk about, lol. The last year we were apart (visa journey year) we only spoke on the phone. I had grown too tired of chatting. I couldn't stand sitting in front of a computer for hours like I had done before. We spoke just about everyday but like yourself, I would go days without calling because we'd start arguing over the fact that we had nothing to talk about. It's silly now that I look back on it.

Yes, 21 is quite young and seeing as though this is her first relationship makes it even more difficult. Try to be patient with her and remember that she misses you just as much as you miss her. Maybe even more...she is a young woman and you know how dramatic they can be, lol.

that was so sweet Sandrila. last time I saw my wife was 4 month and 9 days.

I have another problem, when we talk in the phone we actualy got nothing to talk about. i would ask her how was her day? how is her family? what did you eat for lunch? I would BS for little bit than thats it. 10 munites latter we got nothing to talk about. I told her her do I need to talk to you ones a week so we will have something to talk about? she said what ever you think, then I decided not to call her for a week. 3 days latter she call me and left me 3 messages she said that she got an important question about her passport... I knew she missed me but she didn't want to say that hahaha. Anyways I don't Know what to do with her, when I call her she doesn't talk much and when I don't she freak out. I have no D she loves me, but she is young (21 years old, I'm 29) and never being in a relationship before. she need to improve her communication skills with her Hubby before I give up.

[Zee Bee 61]

that was so sweet Sandrila. last time I saw my wife was 4 month and 9 days.

I have another problem, when we talk in the phone we actualy got nothing to talk about. i would ask her how was her day? how is her family? what did you eat for lunch? I would BS for little bit than thats it. 10 munites latter we got nothing to talk about. I told her her do I need to talk to you ones a week so we will have something to talk about? she said what ever you think, then I decided not to call her for a week. 3 days latter she call me and left me 3 messages she said that she got an important question about her passport... I knew she missed me but she didn't want to say that hahaha. Anyways I don't Know what to do with her, when I call her she doesn't talk much and when I don't she freak out. I have no D she loves me, but she is young (21 years old, I'm 29) and never being in a relationship before. she need to improve her communication skills with her Hubby before I give up.

We were separated for a year at a time. I picked up a second job so that once I got off from my full time job I would have something to keep me occupied until I went to bed.

We had a set time when I would call him everyday for about 30 minutes. On the weekends it was longer. We sent occasional e-mails and chats, but mainly just phone calls.

As for not having anything to say, sometimes it is just comforting to know that the other person is on the other end. I'm not one to just talk unless I have something to say and so sometimes I would just say Hi, hello, how was your day and let it flow from there. Sometimes he would ask me if I wanted to hang up since neither of us was saying anything, but I just liked the feeling of knowing that he was on the other end. At least for those 20 minutes, I knew where he was and we were "together".

[adam1 1]

I call her few munites ago and she didn't sound right!!! I ask her whats wrong are you sick or something? she said no, I'm sleeping, I just got back from school and my mom was trying to wake me up but I didn't want to, but as soon as she heard the phone ringing she jumped of the bed she new it was me.lol, I feel spesial. Her MOM said to her thank god he called because you wouldn't get up today. nice try from her she will learn!!!

[childress_london 3]

Sounds like she may be depressed from missing you. Encourage her to stay busy. :-)

[adam1 1]

Sounds like she may be depressed from missing you. Encourage her to stay busy. :-)

may be she is depressed from missing me or from the whole situation.

she is busy with college. I asked her today if she gets made when we are in the phone and we got nothing to talk about? she said yes I do, and I asked her why? she said I would be woundring if our life will be that booring when we live together. I said of course no we will have 4 kids you will be changing Dypers....taking them to school.. cooking for me...I promised her she won't be boored at all. than she said I don't mind doing all that but I don't want you to forget about me about our love, I want you to stay romantic , I want to be happy. taraaaaaaaaa I want the same thing.

finaly I got her to talk for 3 hours, I fall in sleep twise during that conversation then she got mad because I slept she asked me if i was boored? I was like no no not at all, I felt safe and peace while you were talking to me thats why I slept but I was realy tired from work.lol. talking sweet to her made her day, I also told her that it doesn't matter if we got nothing to talk about over the phone everybody got that problem and its ok, I still love you and that wont change!!!!

I felt stupid when I finaly got her to talk than fall in sleep while she was talking, tell me that I'm not a D ####!!!