UK AOS 2009 Thread

[MissusM09 1]

Thanks Dame-o. I'm going to try and hang in there, I guess it's a form of trying to regain control when you think about going back as that's something you're able to actually do to change your life. I'm so glad things turned around for you as well, well done on the job and picking things up again.

Gemmie, I totally understand wanting to go back. I dont know if thats still what you want, but could you perhaps investigate moving elsewhere? so sorry that you are going through this, but at least you are not alone. Yup my husband lost his job, they totally lied about stuff, he is studying and we cannot even meet any end never mind try. Then here goes me, going to church on sunday, walking up the aisle in church, what happens??? I rupture my achilles on the right. I wont be able to walk for about 3 months with a six month window of getting back to normal. i had surgery two weeks ago. heres the kicker, as he lost his job and they were keeping him on some bullsh*t hourly pay we dont have insurance so i have to pay all the hospital bills myself. before the operation I got desperate and had to ring home, I was going to fly back and go to UCH, turn up in the emergency room and wing it from there. by the looks of the $2500 bill that I have now it looks like that might have been a cheaper option. I'm not inlove with michigan by any stretch. So neither of us are working, and as this is no welfare state, its not easy. At least you have inlaws that will support you to help you get on your feet.

Sorry you didnt get the job too, its not easy starting over again. I got bored real quick at macy's and then on top of abysmal hourly pay found out we were only hired to cover workers that were to be gone for two weeks. the gas it took to drive there is basically what I was getting. its all a bit much. My mother asked me if I regret coming here, I said no. I just want to be able to do the things that I can do in England here, that may take some time.

congrats to marm. and to all the anniversary's. Hope you have a blessed and wonderful year ahead.

[Lisa and Ian 7]

Gemmie, I totally understand wanting to go back. I dont know if thats still what you want, but could you perhaps investigate moving elsewhere? so sorry that you are going through this, but at least you are not alone. Yup my husband lost his job, they totally lied about stuff, he is studying and we cannot even meet any end never mind try. Then here goes me, going to church on sunday, walking up the aisle in church, what happens??? I rupture my achilles on the right. I wont be able to walk for about 3 months with a six month window of getting back to normal. i had surgery two weeks ago. heres the kicker, as he lost his job and they were keeping him on some bullsh*t hourly pay we dont have insurance so i have to pay all the hospital bills myself. before the operation I got desperate and had to ring home, I was going to fly back and go to UCH, turn up in the emergency room and wing it from there. by the looks of the $2500 bill that I have now it looks like that might have been a cheaper option. I'm not inlove with michigan by any stretch. So neither of us are working, and as this is no welfare state, its not easy. At least you have inlaws that will support you to help you get on your feet.

Sorry you didnt get the job too, its not easy starting over again. I got bored real quick at macy's and then on top of abysmal hourly pay found out we were only hired to cover workers that were to be gone for two weeks. the gas it took to drive there is basically what I was getting. its all a bit much. My mother asked me if I regret coming here, I said no. I just want to be able to do the things that I can do in England here, that may take some time.

congrats to marm. and to all the anniversary's. Hope you have a blessed and wonderful year ahead.

Just wondering if you've tried applying for unemployment: http://www.michigan.gov/uia. It sucks not having insurance and having to get medical care. You would think they would give you a good discount, at least. Sorry you're having such a crappy time.

[MissusM09 1]

hi lisa and ian. how are you doing?

re unemployment: My husband has already done that. His ex employers are trying to stall that benefit however by claiming that he was in gross misconduct, which is a lie, and will be proven to be so. unfortunately to prove it will take 5 - 6 weeks maximum. Theres a Union meeting next week, and these particular employers are known to fire people and have had to re hire them on several occasions, its all a way to cut costs, but it ends up costing them more in the long run. so thats what I'm hoping for. either way its a long hard road to walk.

[Gemmie 142]

Gemmie, I totally understand wanting to go back. I dont know if thats still what you want, but could you perhaps investigate moving elsewhere? so sorry that you are going through this, but at least you are not alone. Yup my husband lost his job, they totally lied about stuff, he is studying and we cannot even meet any end never mind try. Then here goes me, going to church on sunday, walking up the aisle in church, what happens??? I rupture my achilles on the right. I wont be able to walk for about 3 months with a six month window of getting back to normal. i had surgery two weeks ago. heres the kicker, as he lost his job and they were keeping him on some bullsh*t hourly pay we dont have insurance so i have to pay all the hospital bills myself. before the operation I got desperate and had to ring home, I was going to fly back and go to UCH, turn up in the emergency room and wing it from there. by the looks of the $2500 bill that I have now it looks like that might have been a cheaper option. I'm not inlove with michigan by any stretch. So neither of us are working, and as this is no welfare state, its not easy. At least you have inlaws that will support you to help you get on your feet.

Sorry you didnt get the job too, its not easy starting over again. I got bored real quick at macy's and then on top of abysmal hourly pay found out we were only hired to cover workers that were to be gone for two weeks. the gas it took to drive there is basically what I was getting. its all a bit much. My mother asked me if I regret coming here, I said no. I just want to be able to do the things that I can do in England here, that may take some time.

congrats to marm. and to all the anniversary's. Hope you have a blessed and wonderful year ahead.

I'm so sorry to hear about your recent troubles, Missus. I hear that the achilles heel is the most painful thing in your body to injure, I hope you're not in too much pain, and I sincerely hope you can work out a payment plan with them for your hospital bill that suits you both. I'm quite surprised to hear that Macy's failed to tell you that it was only a two-week cover, I don't understand how they can get away with that when they portrayed the position as permanent. I'm sorry to hear about your husband's job as well, it sounds like they're a very unreliable company to work for, so perhaps in the long run he'll be better off working for a company that appreciates him. How is his job search going?

We're open to moving somewhere else but it's that Catch-22 situation - we need a job/place first. As strange as it sounds, I would do anything to cut the ties between us and the in-laws right now, I'm so envious of the people that have their own place. I am really grateful that they've let us stay here at reduced rent, but because of their recent problems (MIL filing bankruptcy, FIL in a ton of debt, both unemployed), they want us to pay more rent and also take on some of the house bills, and we're struggling to know what's fair and what isn't. Everyone keeps telling me to get a job at Macy's or Best Buy but they don't seem to understand that on that level of pay, we won't be going anywhere, not to mention that I've been consistently rejected by retail. We would actually like to see a counsellor for the events of the past few weeks (in case you haven't read on the forums, my MIL attempted suicide and we're both still recovering) but like you, we don't have health insurance. My family and friends back home are either not speaking to me or are upset that my life has gone pear-shaped since moving here. The only way out of the situation is for me to get a job that pays well, and that is an endless struggle. Even my husband hasn't been able to get a single response since May, and it makes me think 'if he's a citizen, what chance do I have'.

Like you, I don't regret moving here as I'm so happy to be with my husband and I know that if I had some of the things I had in England, I would be content. You're right, things take time, and sometimes life throws unexpected obstacles in our paths so it might take longer than we thought. It's hard to deal with when you've been waiting so long, which is why I feel inspired by people like MARM who had such a tough visa journey and now she's finally happy. I'm hoping the same will happen to us, to all the people waiting for a normal life.

[MissusM09 1]

I'm so sorry to hear about your recent troubles, Missus. I hear that the achilles heel is the most painful thing in your body to injure, I hope you're not in too much pain, and I sincerely hope you can work out a payment plan with them for your hospital bill that suits you both. I'm quite surprised to hear that Macy's failed to tell you that it was only a two-week cover, I don't understand how they can get away with that when they portrayed the position as permanent. I'm sorry to hear about your husband's job as well, it sounds like they're a very unreliable company to work for, so perhaps in the long run he'll be better off working for a company that appreciates him. How is his job search going?

We're open to moving somewhere else but it's that Catch-22 situation - we need a job/place first. As strange as it sounds, I would do anything to cut the ties between us and the in-laws right now, I'm so envious of the people that have their own place. I am really grateful that they've let us stay here at reduced rent, but because of their recent problems (MIL filing bankruptcy, FIL in a ton of debt, both unemployed), they want us to pay more rent and also take on some of the house bills, and we're struggling to know what's fair and what isn't. Everyone keeps telling me to get a job at Macy's or Best Buy but they don't seem to understand that on that level of pay, we won't be going anywhere, not to mention that I've been consistently rejected by retail. We would actually like to see a counsellor for the events of the past few weeks (in case you haven't read on the forums, my MIL attempted suicide and we're both still recovering) but like you, we don't have health insurance. My family and friends back home are either not speaking to me or are upset that my life has gone pear-shaped since moving here. The only way out of the situation is for me to get a job that pays well, and that is an endless struggle. Even my husband hasn't been able to get a single response since May, and it makes me think 'if he's a citizen, what chance do I have'.

Like you, I don't regret moving here as I'm so happy to be with my husband and I know that if I had some of the things I had in England, I would be content. You're right, things take time, and sometimes life throws unexpected obstacles in our paths so it might take longer than we thought. It's hard to deal with when you've been waiting so long, which is why I feel inspired by people like MARM who had such a tough visa journey and now she's finally happy. I'm hoping the same will happen to us, to all the people waiting for a normal life.

Hi gemmie, i'm going to pm you ok.

[MARM 7]

I am so sorry to hear about the circumstances (Gemmie & MissusM09).

Gemmie: I am so sorry to hear about the incident with your MIL. It must be even more difficult than normal to be in that situation. Check with your community clinics or county hospitals to see a counselor. You can usually find such places by contacting the county health department and letting them know what your financial and medical needs are.I know that you don't want to work in retail or are not getting offers (all retail jobs require some sort of sale experience, and I know very well how much I hate sales work). But have you tried looking at, for example: I don't know how the education system works in Boston, but here in Illinois, if you have at least 60 college credits in any subject or an associate's degree of any kind, you are eligible to apply for a school paraprofessional certificate. This certificate can enable you to become a teacher's assistant within the Illinois Public School System, and in the private system, some places may even hire you as a child care teacher for infants and toddlers if you have at least 6 credits in child-related subjects, e.g; child psychology, child development. Again, I don't know how the school system works in Boston, but this is how it works in Illinois, check the Boston Board of Education website if you can. If this turns out to be an option for you, at least it is somewhat near your field of psychology. Also, another thing I know that holds true for the Midwest is that if you at least of a bachelors degree in any subject, even with no experience, banks are looking to hire entry-level personal bankers that they train you for on the job. And colleges and universities are interested in such candidates as well for roles as admissions counselors. What about temp job agencies as another option? I know the work isn't attractive (data entry, reception, file clerk), but register yourself with a couple of temp job agencies (it's free to meet with them too), and let them know you are available ASAP for assignments in your area. They might do some skills testing: tying, excel spreadsheets, etc. But it is worth a shot. I am humbled by the thought of being your inspiration, but really, we have our share of issues ( in addition to the visa journey from the deepest pit of hell). Every family has their share, and I know it is so hard to do this right now, but I always say look towards those less fortunate than you. Even if not much, you are in a better place. And if it turns out that moving back to the UK is the only best way, then just remember the reasons that you two fell in love and made it through tough times, and whether it is London or USA, you both will be successful and happy, I am sure. PM me if there is anything I can do for you, I mean it

MissusM09: Did the hospital give you a payment plan or a discount of some sort? Here in IL, before my husband got a job, while I was in transition between student and PRN job holder, I did not have any kind of medical insurance either. And I had to get some required testing done that would have cost $9,000.00 if I had to pay out of pocket. I shopped around for hospitals that provided Financial Assistance. You don't have to be unemployed or have any pre-requisites to apply. They ask for tax forms, current salary, bank balance, etc and they review the paperwork and then let you know whether you qualify for between 10%-100% financial aid in terms of hospital bills. Does Michigan have any community health clinics that you could go to for follow-up treatment now that you are done with the surgery? Community clinics usually charge on a sliding scale according to your pay stubs for a certain amount of months in a given year. If you do not have any pay stubs as either of you are unemployed, then that would mean free health care there. What about community/county hospitals? The job market is really tough everywhere, even here in Chicago. Here, they say if you snag a job, hold on tight-- even if you loathe it. I don't know if we will ever see good financial health in the US at the rate everything is going...But don't lose hope, keep researching your options. I know it is easier said than done.

[MissusM09 1]

hi marm.

sorry i didnt reply earlier this week was particularly stressful and difficult. we have talked to the hospital about charity and filled out the forms. they arent too good on paperwork however so I currently have a bill for $11,000! I called today to talk to billing to find out that they hadnt recieved the paperwork we personally delivered to them. So i'm still waiting to see how much of a discount we get with this "charitable" discount.

I intend to hold on to the little 4 hour a week Macy's job, Its better to work than not. I will be looking and doing those things that I know I can do, look for employment options; I might look into the teacher assistant thing you mentioned etc.. however I can do none of this because I'm incapacitated, its just a fact finding mission right now.

I do not want to go back to London, at least not right now, its better that I find real work and push on, for a couple years. My intent was to stay here get the 10 yr greencard, then citizenship then take my hubby home and his son, let him finish his schooling there. Not sure if thats gonna work out, but its worth giving it a go. best laid plans and all that.

Thanks for the well wishes Marm. Do you have any morning sickness? Are you enjoying your pregnancy? i"m happy for you!

Edited October 12, 2010 by MissusM09

[Nik+Heather 121]

We had our first anniversary last night! hardly any of the really fancy restaurants were open as it was a Monday night, so that narrowed down the choices alot. We didn't necessarily want to drink, but I wanted to go to a place where we COULD drink champagne if we wanted to. (So, not Chili's!) I've been embarrassingly hung up on the date of our wedding. I would have LOVED to get married on 10/10/10, but yanno, since it was a year later of course that's just silly. But I really knew this weekend that it wasn't meant to be as my father was still in the ICU. Even if our relationship had been on a 1 year later track, we wouldn't have gotten married on Sunday. I wish I could just let it go - but every time I see people posting the past couple days about how they got married on Sunday (10/10/10 - they have to remind me!!!!) I get all jealous again. It's such a silly thing, and I need to get a grip.

I never thought I would do this, because I hardly ever wear jewelery, but I did mention to Nik that the only jewelery I seem to own is cheapo from Clair's or my wedding jewelery, nothing in the middle for going out to a nice dinner. He said mebbes for Christmas.

Gemmie, is it time to hear back from your interview? Or is this the middle of the whole week we are waiting while they are all out of the office? Fingers crossed!!!Woops, I see that it was this week they were all out. UGH if it feels like it's been this long for me, I can't imagine how you feel. We're waiting with you!

Edited October 12, 2010 by Nik+Heather

[MARM 7]

MissusM09: Sounds like you got a plan, hope everything works out well. No more morning sickness (although I had it in the evening, not morning) but I am getting fatter although I watch what I eat. And yes I am enjoying every bit, I just wish time would fly by faster until the baby is in my arms.

Nik+Heather: Congrats on your marriage anniversary!

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

Hey all. To Missus--Ouch! That's to the pain and the medical bill. Hope you get some reduced rates worked out. I think most docs have cheaper rates than what you get billed. So many insurance companies have price agreements with medical providers that are considerably less than the bill, so surely they can accept less for uninsured if pressed. Once I refused to pay a portion of a bill for my husband when I had a dispute with a particular doctor. I get stubborn at times. Then a collection agency started calling. I just politely said thank you for that information, but I do not intend to pay this bill. Eventually they quit calling.

So sorry you guys have hit some rough patches. We're all pulling for you Gemmie and hope you hear some good news.

We just got back from Eureka Springs, Arkansas. Houston is a Continental hub so they do continental.com specials every week. You leave on Saturday and return on Tuesday. I decided I was going to pick something when they posted. There wasn't anything too impressive. So that's how we ended up with Arkansas for $115 round trip. It was a cute and quaint town. The weather was gorgeous and cooler than here. Fall was in the air and the hillsides had the shades of greens, yellows, oranges and the occasional red. That probably seems normal to some of you, but we don't have hills or fall leaves here. They go from green to gone with no shades of color in between. Our place we stayed was on a hillside in the woods.... like a cabin elevated up so the balcony/deck was like being in a treehouse. We ran into several honeymooners who married 10/10/10. We parked next to a car that said "Just Married on 10-10-10 at 11:11." ( Heather--don't get upset 'cause I said that) I thought 08-08-08 would have been good, but timing with the visa didn't work out and we weren't going to wait for 09-09-09. So yeah, it would have been cool, but c'est la vie. Maybe you can plan a baby for 11-11-11. LOL. Happy Anniversary to you.

[Gemmie 142]

Happy anniversary, Heather! Don't worry too much about the date. I do understand as we got married on 09/05/09 so only FOUR days away from 09/09/09 but our minister could only do the weekend, so I got over it. It's the marriage that counts, right? Although I side with Nich, try to plan a baby for 11/11/11.

Nich, your trips sounds sooooo gorgeous. Was it a belated honeymoon trip?

Prima, I really hope things work out for you. I think of you often and really wish some good luck your way. But as we said in PM, I did have the worst luck in the world with jobs, insurance, family problems etc for the longest time and it WILL get better. I'm still having problems with my brother, he's speaking to me now but he's still judging everything I do and one phone call with him ruins my day.

I'm so sorry I forgot to post updates in this thread, I posted in the UK forum as I think of this topic as mostly deserted, LOL. Anyways, I got the job! I had one interview on the Tuesday, a second on Friday, and I got an offer on the following Thursday. It's hard to believe that after 10 months of job-hunting, it all happened that quickly. They said to let them know once I got my driving license but unfortunately that's two weeks away from now. I think I'm being paranoid, I hope they don't give the position to someone else, I'm not too sure if I'm supposed to call them often to tell them I'm still interested or what. But the job is full-time and comes with really cool benefits, including 100% paid health insurance for me and my husband, 2 weeks vacation (I thought that was AWFUL but everyone tells me it's good), sick days, etc). So now I really need to pass my test, or I will actually cry myself to death, ha!

We're going to view an apartment at the weekend, we saw some beautiful old-fashioned lofts in Rhode Island with huge 'great rooms', brick walls, exposed wooden beams, the works. We probably won't be able to move out until next year and we were really hoping that we'd be on our own for Christmas, but... at least it's one step forward.

Edited October 19, 2010 by Gemmie

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

Hooray for jobs! Gemmie, I have written two long PMs to you..maybe Thursday and Saturday. But somehow I screw up the laptop at the big "send" moment and they're gone. AAAaarrrrgh! Once the wireless dropped out and I just somehow changed pages the second time. It's my first laptop and I'm obviously not highly skilled yet with a touchpad. And my nails are too long to type fast on the flat keyboard. But it's really cute and little and red and matches my nail polish. LOL. I'm still going to try again soon.

If they sent you a formal offer letter, then send an acceptance letter. Send one anyway. Thank you for the offer....I'm looking forward to....I will be in contact with you by [date] ... etc.

Edit: Yay! It posted and wirelessly from Starbucks.

Edited October 19, 2010 by Nich-Nick

[MARM 7]

Congrats Gemmie! So great to hear good news fom you, I pray that this is the first step to a series of happy events soon!

[Gemmie 142]

Thank you both, I have more good news too. I now have THREE job offers.

One is Research Assistant at the prison/hospital which I told you about, one is Mental Health Specialist at a psych hospital, and one is admin work at my husband's office.

If I pass my driving test next week, I'm going to go with the first one as it has the full benefits package, only two mins away from my husband so no need to buy a second car, plus it's in my field. As a fall-back option, I'll see if I can work part-time at both other jobs. Either way, I'll be working in a matter of weeks, fingers crossed.

I hope everyone is doing well!

[Lisa and Ian 7]

Thank you both, I have more good news too. I now have THREE job offers.

One is Research Assistant at the prison/hospital which I told you about, one is Mental Health Specialist at a psych hospital, and one is admin work at my husband's office.

If I pass my driving test next week, I'm going to go with the first one as it has the full benefits package, only two mins away from my husband so no need to buy a second car, plus it's in my field. As a fall-back option, I'll see if I can work part-time at both other jobs. Either way, I'll be working in a matter of weeks, fingers crossed.

I hope everyone is doing well!

Yay, Gemmie! Good for you! Good luck on the driving test!