Okay, dammit...

[amberdima 6]

oh man, i can cook a mean meal, but baking's not my thing. i must admit- your pies sound delectable. you should post some pics so we all can have a piece. p.s. i want a little whipped cream on my piece

Well, these are past pies (I didn't photograph my recent ones, but I did something similar... now they are kind of decimated by Ammar):

These ones I screwed up the crust a bit-- it was more chewy than it should have been... but... recent attempt was a success! These were apple, I made them with a combination of apples from the orchard down the street and my own. Yum!

YES!!!! i love the crumble topping!

[b_fowler 0]

I don't think I will be sweating too bad when she gets off the plane!! <<he hopes>> I feel really good about everything, I generally worry about the fear of the unknown, the what ifs, etc.... I am pretty well prepared for the rest of it, I am sure of that!! I definitely appreciate the support from any direction, as this is a long slow process!!! We all know when you want to be with someone, you don't want to wait for it, but unfortunately they make us!!! Again, thanks for the support!!!

[LvivLovers 39]

Hey there, old timers! It's been a while since I've stopped by, so thought I'd say hi. Just to give a status update on where we are at...Oleksandra and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary recently and have about 9 months to go before filing for her permanent green card. My, how time flies...seems like just the other day we were one of those couples waiting impatiently to be reunited.

I'm happy to say Oleksandra has finally adjusted to the US! She was missing home quite a bit her first year, not used to the food, etc. Also, she was completely a city girl, having lived her whole life right in downtown Lviv (we are in the suburbs about 30 miles from Atlanta). She's been busy taking an Intensive English Program which is an alternative to TOEFL for getting into her University...she's got about 2 weeks left to go on the highest level so soon she'll be a full-time student. I think that's really helped her a lot in adjusting...she finally gets to get out and see the city instead of sitting at home. She's now more of an expert about Atlanta than I am by the way! haha

She got her temp driver's license about 6 months ago and drives really well but has been too busy with school to practice much on parallel parking, merging, and driving on the highway, etc. As soon as her IEP classes end we'll focus on driving again.

Anyway, everything has been great...very smooth sailing and we are both very happy.

Congrats to all those who have recently been approved and/or reunited!

[slim 1,525]

Has she been here for over two years without working or anything? How's she been spending her time other than school? And really, what I'm getting at.... how can you afford to pay for it all on just your salary?

And I must've missed the part where it said "free college education funded by sponsor" in the immigration paperwork because I too have been called out on that one several times in the last few years. I don't know where this pre-conceived notion of showing up and going to school (for free) comes from, but it definitely seems to exist. I've been catching a lot of grief, as of late, because I'm so horrible husband for making my wife go to work instead of paying for her to go to school. It's a waste of air for us to argue over it because there's absolutely no way I could afford for my wife to go to school without working at least part time too.

I understand when the girls show up and want to continue their education or start growing the family, I just don't understand how they keep the money tree alive in their suitcases on the flight over. Ours died, and my wife's been looking for one ever since. Know where we can find one?

[lee b 2]

I guess I am pretty lucky that my fiance's mother has lived here for seven years and told her what America is really like. Plus she has been here quite a few times and experienced it for herself. After seeing it for herself she decided to stay home and finish her education at home. I won't have to worry about those arguements at least. I am howecer stupid american man and will do many many other things wrong anyways.

[LvivLovers 39]

Has she been here for over two years without working or anything? How's she been spending her time other than school? And really, what I'm getting at.... how can you afford to pay for it all on just your salary?

And I must've missed the part where it said "free college education funded by sponsor" in the immigration paperwork because I too have been called out on that one several times in the last few years. I don't know where this pre-conceived notion of showing up and going to school (for free) comes from, but it definitely seems to exist. I've been catching a lot of grief, as of late, because I'm so horrible husband for making my wife go to work instead of paying for her to go to school. It's a waste of air for us to argue over it because there's absolutely no way I could afford for my wife to go to school without working at least part time too.

I understand when the girls show up and want to continue their education or start growing the family, I just don't understand how they keep the money tree alive in their suitcases on the flight over. Ours died, and my wife's been looking for one ever since. Know where we can find one?

She had been here a little under a year before she started her classes. Prior to the classes she divided most of her time between working on a website (hopefully another income source in the future) and studying several subjects on her own because she had gotten a bit rusty. Originally we thought she might have to take the SAT, ACT, etc. so she was focused on that a lot, but once we got an independent agency to evaluate her previous school work from Ukraine, we found out she had enough credits to qualify as a transfer student instead so she didn't have to take any additional tests.

As far as salary goes, I guess we are pretty lucky...I'm currently a professional trader for a small firm and making a good salary. She's offered to work numerous times, but given our situation I wanted her to just stay focused on her studies (and she does...pretty much all day, every day). If our situation were different though, she'd definately be working right now in addition to going to school. It also helps that we qualify for in-state tuition, so it's much less expensive than it could be otherwise.

LMAO at keeping the money tree alive.

[Satellite 1]

Slim,

Do you remember our situation? Both were students when she arrived. I rapped up law school with a bunch of debt and my wife got free education (based on low income) and will be graduating with BA this summer. I now make the big bucks as an attorney and she is going on to do a masters program on our dime, but all in state tuition so it's not that expensive. I've paid back about 1/4 of that student loan debt and looking to buy a home this year to take advantage of the housing market and the tax break I will so desperately need this year. But like your wife, she has been working all this time and going to school full time as well. Biggest difference is that our wives came from different life circumstances and experiences so mine was never spoiled by other men or had bread winner expectations of her current man.

Edited April 9, 2009 by Satellite

[Cixelsyd 1]

I understand when the girls show up and want to continue their education or start growing the family, I just don't understand how they keep the money tree alive in their suitcases on the flight over. Ours died, and my wife's been looking for one ever since. Know where we can find one?

And they all laughed at me when I said we're waiting for her to graduate before getting married.

I explained to her how much money I make and we converted it to Rubles.

She said "Wow you make a lot"

Then I explained all the bills and how much it costs to live in this area.

She said "wow... you don't make so much"

[slim 1,525]

As far as salary goes, I guess we are pretty lucky...

You guys have an age gap, right? (If I recall, not terribly so, but something like 10+ years?)

Not trying to get all into your business or anything, I've just been sticking to my guns of "if you want a rich husband, you should've married a 40-year-old." Or, "if you have patience for 10 more years, we will be well off too. But, you have to wait. In America you have to build your wealth over time.... and TWO people building wealth together will end up with WAY MORE than just one."

Basically, I've been trying to shed light on the fact that all the dreams, desires, aspirations, etc., are all possible, but they have to be accomplished on a timeline. And right now, they're simply NOT possible. But, they will be! Especially with a lot of hard work and a little bit of patience.

Do you remember our situation? ........... Biggest difference is that our wives came from different life circumstances and experiences so mine was never spoiled by other men or had bread winner expectations of her current man.

I do. And you hit the nail on the head. There is a fundamental difference in the financial status of guys our age and guys even 10 or 15 years older. Where I've been struggling with my wife is trying to convince her that being married to a younger guy doesn't necessarily mean you'll have less money in the long run, but it GUARANTEES you'll have less money now.

It's not a matter of better or worse, but more a matter of choosing what's important. Alignment of priorities I would call it. Therein lies our problem. I have the priority of living a happy life together, she has a priority of living a "nicer" life than what we currently live.

I explained to her how much money I make and we converted it to Rubles.

She said "Wow you make a lot"

Then I explained all the bills and how much it costs to live in this area.

She said "wow... you don't make so much"

My wife sticks to the story that I told her how much I made... but not how much I had to pay out every month. She was "duped" into marrying a "rich" guy but then came here and was forced to work to help me pay my bills.

Got her good, I guess!

[WalkonWildSide 0]

I explained to her how much money I make and we converted it to Rubles.

She said "Wow you make a lot"

Then I explained all the bills and how much it costs to live in this area.

She said "wow... you don't make so much"

My wife sticks to the story that I told her how much I made... but not how much I had to pay out every month. She was "duped" into marrying a "rich" guy but then came here and was forced to work to help me pay my bills.

Got her good, I guess!

Well the real thing is trying to make sure her job pays enough so you don't have to work. You should convince her that if she wants the nice things in life she should get a 2nd and a 3rd job.

I had the same conversation, Yes I have good salary, and oh ya by the way Hawaii is a super expensive place to live. When I finally told her it costs about 3 times more than Moscow, she finally got it. At first she didn't believe me, but I started quoting the prices i.e. $8 for a gallon of milk, finally she got it.

[slim 1,525]

No more milk! No more milk! NO MORE MILK!

[LvivLovers 39]

You guys have an age gap, right? (If I recall, not terribly so, but something like 10+ years?)

Yep. Right around 10 years.

I realize that everyone's situation is different and ours may sound kind of strange. My wife is actually very down to earth...she understands the value of money and is an extremely hard worker. She's asked me probably a hundred times about getting a part time job or something like that because she wanted to contribute. But in the grand scheme of things, I've got a good amount of money tucked away due to basically being single for several years prior to meeting her and have a good job with a few startup projects in the works as well. She could work and contribute a little bit of course, but to me, it's not worth it. Right now she's pulling a 4.0 GPA and is planning to go into medicine...she really needs to keep a high GPA for that so the more I can help her keep focused on it the better. Sure, her education is a little bit of a drain right now, but in the end, when she graduates, it will all be worth it. She never expected me to pay for things and was looking into working, student loans, etc. but since we are living comfortably and the in-state tuition is not so bad, I figured why not. I have no doubt if things ever got tight she'd be working hard with no complaints. Either way, I'm pretty confident she's going to end up being the first doctor in our family!

[slim 1,525]

My wife is actually very down to earth...she understands the value of money and is an extremely hard worker........ She never expected me to pay for things and was looking into working, student loans, etc.

My wife understands the value of money.... when it's her money. When it's my money (which is also her money) it's a lot easier for her to spend. There have been countless things that she's "needed" me to buy that I was unable to. Once she started working and had money available to buy those "needed" items, they were suddenly unnecessary. She has been working very hard lately and that's probably what upsets her the most. I don't think she anticipated coming here to work full time. I believe she came here anticipating being able to go to school and work just enough to cover coffee and cosmetics.

I guess what I'm looking for is basically what you're describing. Just a little interest or desire to contribute instead of the nagging "I shouldn't have to" that I hear every day.

I have no doubt if things ever got tight she'd be working hard with no complaints. Either way, I'm pretty confident she's going to end up being the first doctor in our family!

Yep, it's the no complaints that I'm really looking for. I have no problem giving her every penny I have, but daggone, I don't want to be obligated to do so.

A Russian-speaking doctor is a pretty good job to have in just about any large city in America. You guys are going to be set up quite nicely!

[anka 1]

Bobb, you should be seeing your NOA2 *ANY* time now.

So mox, are you prescient?

I arrived home from work moments ago and here is what was in an email:

Application Type: I129F , PETITION FOR FIANCE(E)

Current Status: Approval notice sent.

On April 3, 2009, we mailed you a notice that we have approved this I129F PETITION FOR FIANCE(E). Please follow any instructions on the notice. If you move before you receive the notice, call customer service.

Yahoo!!! So, if everything follows what seems to be the length of time from this point onward I am guessing her interview will be in Moscow in mid June and I will go get her in mid July. As soon as I find out the interview date for sure I will then make my airline reservations.

Congratulations!

[anka 1]

A little late on reading this thread but I'll post anyways, nonetheless...

So, to answer Mox:

My man arrived here in mid-March (k1) and it's been a crazy and amazing whirlwind.

He received his SS card and did biometrics (ead).

Our wedding is scheduled for May 15, 2009 at 9.45am at the county circuit court. Yep, definitely not at all romantic but we'll make up for it by having a reception/"2nd-wedding" for friends, family, and fun in about 6 months. For now the legal marriage procedure is what's up and maybe a hot champagne breakfast following...

Hope everyone's well!

Sorry I'm so horrible at replying to any posts I make...but I thank all of you for your input and great advice (and humor!).