The Annoying Co-Worker Thread

[Galateia 1]

Today, I went into work 30 min early to reserve a computer for our current re-training as there are too many of us and not enough computers. I've been doubling up with a friend but we have to log in to our own stuff so there is a lot of logging out, one does it, log out, the other does it now, repeat

The meth head coworker breezed in 2 minutes before clock-in time after shooting up in his car (as per normal) and swiped my computer while I was talking to the trainer.

I fumed, but I knew the trainer saw and wasn't impressed, and I went to double up with my friend again. I complained to her about it- he pulled the same thing on her yesterday and she had to double up with me.

Later, he corners her in the hallway over whether I discussed it with her, then comes to ME all hoity-toity about how "the next time you have a problem you come to say it to MY FACE."

Now, up until now I have been a model Canadian despite the constant racial slurs and #######, but today I'd had enough and reamed him out for 5 minutes (loudly) about what he did. The look of shock on his face as the 'wimpy Canadian' didn't just take his abuse was priceless, and he backpedaled. I told him flat out it was not MY problem if he chose to come in late when I chose to come in early to reserve a computer, I don't care if he was using that one yesterday.

If he touches/pats/tickles/etc me again because he's in one of his friendly touchy meth highs, I am going to tell him the next time he does it I will take his behind to HR. I am DONE.

Edited February 5, 2010 by Galateia

[Flames9_RN 358]

Today, I went into work 30 min early to reserve a computer for our current re-training as there are too many of us and not enough computers. I've been doubling up with a friend but we have to log in to our own stuff so there is a lot of logging out, one does it, log out, the other does it now, repeat

The meth head coworker breezed in 2 minutes before clock-in time after shooting up in his car (as per normal) and swiped my computer while I was talking to the trainer.

I fumed, but I knew the trainer saw and wasn't impressed, and I went to double up with my friend again. I complained to her about it- he pulled the same thing on her yesterday and she had to double up with me.

Later, he corners her in the hallway over whether I discussed it with her, then comes to ME all hoity-toity about how "the next time you have a problem you come to say it to MY FACE."

Now, up until now I have been a model Canadian despite the constant racial slurs and #######, but today I'd had enough and reamed him out for 5 minutes (loudly)_about what he did. The look of shock on his face as the 'wimpy Canadian' didn't just take his abuse was priceless, and he backpedaled.

If he touches/pats/tickles/etc me again because he's in one of his friendly touchy meth highs, I am going to tell him the next time he does it I will take his behind to HR. I am DONE.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM566ogr-NI Way to go!!!!!

[Galateia 1]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM566ogr-NI Way to go!!!!!

I use/refer to this ALL THE TIME. All. The. Time.

[Revenesque 2]

I use/refer to this ALL THE TIME. All. The. Time.

[Revenesque 2]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM566ogr-NI Way to go!!!!!

Y'all know the Canadian dude is probaby played by an American.

[Flames9_RN 358]

Y'all know the Canadian dude is probaby played by an American.

what ever!! No American knows that move!! I use it quite often on rowdy patients at the hospital! Completely legal as I Am Canadian!!

[MrsCat 6]

I use/refer to this ALL THE TIME. All. The. Time.

You get 'em next time girl. What a dinkus.

[Galateia 1]

Ok, the dam has burst!

I have a coworker who is more annoying than the rest of them (meth head included) combined. She's the epitome of tacky, ignorant, stupid, misplaced superiority complexed, fundie, drama-addicted, brown nosing, busybody, nosy, gossiping, classless Texan woman.

Full on crazy granny outfits (the horrible Christmas sweaters, the giant cheap earrings, the bizarre colour combination patterns with hideous jackets, velour track suits) and caked-on Avon makeup that tends to melt in unfortunate ways throughout the day. Likes to talk about fugly outfits she's seen in Target that she's thinking of getting, and tries to pull you away from your work to discuss whether she should get fugly shirt A or B because it will go with that hideous jacket that rapes your eyes every time she wears it or with that 80's cardigan she has? *excuses self to run to the bathroom for a silent scream in the cubicle*

She believes herself to be the smartest person on the team and yet has failed the state teacher's exam something like 7 times. Her ability to grasp concepts is non-existent and she compensates by trying to insist you're talking about something else entirely that she DOES know about and proceeds to lecture you about it.

It goes like this: "Crazy Coworker, seeing as A + B = C, should I advise the representative of this office to follow D or E?" Cue 20+ minutes of her patronizingly explaining how A + B = C, and talking over me while I try to reiterate that I already KNEW that part, it's D or E I am asking about? But nooooo. I have to listen to her inane blather for 20 minutes and run behind on my other work because she's too stupid to grasp what I'm asking or too much of a witch to bother to LISTEN.

She talks to you like you're one of the grade 4 students she's angling to become a teacher for while she does so, even if you are older, smarter, or higher-ranked than she is.

She once tried to correct ME while I was composing an email to a member of management in Boston. She snooped over my shoulder and then, I kid you not, Texanized my grammar. To the client in BOSTON. I doubt that the Boston client will appreciate an email in hillbilly-ese.

She also constantly discusses the bible with another woman who is going to a local Christian college (not the same as a university, thank you ladies) so there are extremely bigoted and intolerant religious statements floating around in my hearing all the time.

The most recent tragression was when I was joking that on our second anniversary I would bring in a card for everyone to sign as proof for Removing Conditions. She said, in this jokingly disbelieving tone, "Well mah question is, do you e'evn LOVE yer husband?" which caused the aforementioned college woman to burst out "How could you even ASK that?!". How could she? Do we even need to ASK that?

I have so many stories. So, so many. Every day generates a new one.

Kill me now, please.

Edit: typo and details.

Edited February 6, 2010 by Galateia

[trailmix 77]

I really feel bad for you, this sounds like the workplace from hell to me.

[TracyTN 237]

It does me too! I think I'll take my farting, computer nerd neighbor any day over these people! LOL

[The_Dude 1,142]

Ok, the dam has burst!

I have a coworker who is more annoying than the rest of them (meth head included) combined. She's the epitome of tacky, ignorant, stupid, misplaced superiority complexed, fundie, drama-addicted, brown nosing, busybody, nosy, gossiping, classless Texan woman.

Full on crazy granny outfits (the horrible Christmas sweaters, the giant cheap earrings, the bizarre colour combination patterns with hideous jackets, velour track suits) and caked-on Avon makeup that tends to melt in unfortunate ways throughout the day. Likes to talk about fugly outfits she's seen in Target that she's thinking of getting, and tries to pull you away from your work to discuss whether she should get fugly shirt A or B because it will go with that hideous jacket that rapes your eyes every time she wears it or with that 80's cardigan she has? *excuses self to run to the bathroom for a silent scream in the cubicle*

She believes herself to be the smartest person on the team and yet has failed the state teacher's exam something like 7 times. Her ability to grasp concepts is non-existent and she compensates by trying to insist you're talking about something else entirely that she DOES know about and proceeds to lecture you about it.

It goes like this: "Crazy Coworker, seeing as A + B = C, should I advise the representative of this office to follow D or E?" Cue 20+ minutes of her patronizingly explaining how A + B = C, and talking over me while I try to reiterate that I already KNEW that part, it's D or E I am asking about? But nooooo. I have to listen to her inane blather for 20 minutes and run behind on my other work because she's too stupid to grasp what I'm asking or too much of a witch to bother to LISTEN.

She talks to you like you're one of the grade 4 students she's angling to become a teacher for while she does so, even if you are older, smarter, or higher-ranked than she is.

She once tried to correct ME while I was composing an email to a member of management in Boston. She snooped over my shoulder and then, I kid you not, Texanized my grammar. To the client in BOSTON. I doubt that the Boston client will appreciate an email in hillbilly-ese.

She also constantly discusses the bible with another woman who is going to a local Christian college (not the same as a university, thank you ladies) so there are extremely bigoted and intolerant religious statements floating around in my hearing all the time.

The most recent tragression was when I was joking that on our second anniversary I would bring in a card for everyone to sign as proof for Removing Conditions. She said, in this jokingly disbelieving tone, "Well mah question is, do you e'evn LOVE yer husband?" which caused the aforementioned college woman to burst out "How could you even ASK that?!". How could she? Do we even need to ASK that?

I have so many stories. So, so many. Every day generates a new one.

Kill me now, please.

Edit: typo and details.

Wow, this woman sounds quite unbelievable. This woman sounds like she is in DIRE need of an email bomb. It takes a little bit of time, effort and research at home, but can be both wildly entertaining and explosively irritating to the target. I suggest you do it at home, because it's quite easy to track if you do it at work, and could land you in some senstivity training if caught. All you need is this woman's name, email address, and google and your set. I would start with yahoo groups, they have a vast amount of groups that all send annoying amounts of email. Sign her up using her work email address to all the groups that you know she would hate, or by all means, just sign her up for every single group, the volume only adds to the fun. You can find all sorts of groups on the internet that have email lists that will clog up her inbox. . After that, you can just do google searches for topics you know she'd dislike and add "newsletter" at the end. Use your work address, and her name to sign her up for things like the Gay and Lesbian Art Newsletter. Now the real skill will be to not laugh hysterically when she gets pissed off each morning as she has like 150 emails in her inbox and is unable to get of their list (yahoo groups are notoriously hard to get your name deleted from). Even more fun will be her phone calls to various organizations to try to get her name removed from their mailing lists.

In all seriousness, I would report her to HR regarding her abusive language and more importantly, the religious talk. You can always tell HR that she was prostheltyzing at work.

[Galateia 1]

In all seriousness, I would report her to HR regarding her abusive language and more importantly, the religious talk. You can always tell HR that she was prostheltyzing at work.

Unfortunately, HR here is not like HR elsewhere. The people in HR are just as religious and redneck as the coworkers that drive me batty. Also, if I complain about the bible study going on, suspicion will fall on me of either being some sort of 'heathen' religion (like Jewish, Buddhist, or OH NOES TERRIST MUSLIM) or most horrifyingly, an ATHEIST (stone her in the break room!) and an excuse will be found to let me go.

This *is* the workplace that spawned my "denomination =/= religion" and "local term for brazil nuts" rant, remember? These statements were made openly without fear of repercussions because they know there won't be any, even if someone complains.

[Udella&Wiz 325]

Unfortunately, HR here is not like HR elsewhere. The people in HR are just as religious and redneck as the coworkers that drive me batty. Also, if I complain about the bible study going on, suspicion will fall on me of either being some sort of 'heathen' religion (like Jewish, Buddhist, or OH NOES TERRIST MUSLIM) or most horrifyingly, an ATHEIST (stone her in the break room!) and an excuse will be found to let me go.

This *is* the workplace that spawned my "denomination =/= religion" and "local term for brazil nuts" rant, remember? These statements were made openly without fear of repercussions because they know there won't be any, even if someone complains.

I am laughing hysterically...not at you Galateia....but in horror at your work conditions. Good gawd it sounds nuts there.

[The_Dude 1,142]

Unfortunately, HR here is not like HR elsewhere. The people in HR are just as religious and redneck as the coworkers that drive me batty. Also, if I complain about the bible study going on, suspicion will fall on me of either being some sort of 'heathen' religion (like Jewish, Buddhist, or OH NOES TERRIST MUSLIM) or most horrifyingly, an ATHEIST (stone her in the break room!) and an excuse will be found to let me go.

This *is* the workplace that spawned my "denomination =/= religion" and "local term for brazil nuts" rant, remember? These statements were made openly without fear of repercussions because they know there won't be any, even if someone complains.

That has really gone from a humorous anecdote about an annoying co-worker to a nightmarish reality. I really don't know how you put up with that.

[Galateia 1]

That has really gone from a humorous anecdote about an annoying co-worker to a nightmarish reality. I really don't know how you put up with that.

I've taken up drinking.