April 2009 K-1 Filers

[attaya_girl 1]

So sorry to all of you in AP/Clearance delays I hope you all come out of it soon.

Anyone got anything new in the wedding planning?

I'm thinking of the song "Je l'aime a mourir" for our first dance. It's really more about the woman in the relationship, but it means a lot to both Lamine and I. It means "I'll love him/her until I die." It's a really beautiful song about the how the world exists only in the arms of the one you love, etc, etc. It's really sweet. I really want to do a song in French because that's the language with which Lamine and I fell in love. I can speak some of his other languages, and he can speak some of mine, but French is what we use most frequently. Plus, French is just such a romantic language

I know the song thing has been discussed here before-just trying to lighten the mood a bit.

Hope everyone is well

EEK! People were writing while I was, but I still hope that everyone makes it out of AP/clearance delays soon!

Edited August 25, 2009 by attaya_girl

[Starlight95 1]

I have to keep this stuff for my book (now at 300 pages.... don't worry, you all are in it already).

NOA2 recap:

- Filed an address change

- Found out I got NOA2 by calling (a month after the address change filing) to make sure my address was correct in their system

- Never got the NOA2 letter or email

- Got a letter that said the NOA2 letter was returned as undeliverable

- Called to ask for the NOA2 letter

- Called again to ask for the NOA2 letter

- Got a letter with a referral ID saying that I have the NOA2 if I wanted a NOA2 letter I would have to apply for one ($300+) or file an appeal

- Got the NOA2 email saying I would get an NOA2 letter

Today I got a letter with a different referral ID saying that I will be sent the NOA2 letter within 10 days.

It is all so pencil-pusher.

All this trouble just to get a freaking NOA2 . This is crazy!!! Just hang in there that is all I can say to you at this point. Look at me I don't even have a NOA2 at this point. I don't even know when I will get it. If I get lucky it will come this week or maybe next. Who knows? You are almost there and you and your SO will be reunited really soon. I am sure of it, and stay positive like you always have been.

Edited August 25, 2009 by Starlight95

[Allie and Nigel 2]

we should make a special thread for ourselves

Ya we should shouldn't we!...so funny how just so quickly they can just throw people into AP....we have nothing to hide...no issues....whatever.

I'm a real basket case today....such a bad day all around for me today...depressing ....I have to get a hobby or something....just very impatient..but you know, i signed up for it.......I knew what I was getting into...not quite sure if Nigel had quite the same idea, I think he may have, actually, it could be worse I suppose, we could be still waiting for the NOA2..this feels like it almost though. How long should we stay in AP before we start calling our congressmen? Because I'm sorta a new citizen I'm really not sure what guy to call or write to....i will give it 30 days...thats Sept 14th so i will go from there....

Hope all goes well for everyone soon....

Allison.

[endoftheroad 1]

... I'm thinking of the song "Je l'aime a mourir" for our first dance. It's really more about the woman in the relationship, but it means a lot to both Lamine and I. It means "I'll love him/her until I die."

I can speak French as well a little (six years of training but that was 20+ years ago). I know that the French have no problem with death and love but FYI, other cultures will cringe to see the two mentioned together. Maybe something to think about.

I am thinking about "LOVE" by John Lennon.

[attaya_girl 1]

... I'm thinking of the song "Je l'aime a mourir" for our first dance. It's really more about the woman in the relationship, but it means a lot to both Lamine and I. It means "I'll love him/her until I die."

....I know that the French have no problem with death and love but FYI, other cultures will cringe to see the two mentioned together. Maybe something to think about.

I could definitely see that, but it's not something that bothers Lamine or I. We both really love that song. That's something we can discuss, though.

[James and Megan 0]

... I'm thinking of the song "Je l'aime a mourir" for our first dance. It's really more about the woman in the relationship, but it means a lot to both Lamine and I. It means "I'll love him/her until I die."

I can speak French as well a little (six years of training but that was 20+ years ago). I know that the French have no problem with death and love but FYI, other cultures will cringe to see the two mentioned together. Maybe something to think about.

Does "till death do us part" ring a bell? I don't think it's inappropriate for a wedding!

[Shewack 0]

hello peop's, how do u guys all get the time to get on here so much, wish i could, well I was appreved on the 13th of Aug, that was the day my baby had to go back to the states so i guess some thing good happened that day its just a shame i didn't find out untill the 19th. better late than never, our status never changed either so we had no idea. well now on to medicals & stuff, hope all are well & congrats to those who are progessing, I can't believe its actually happening! WOOHOOOOOOoooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[endoftheroad 1]

hello peop's, how do u guys all get the time to get on here so much, wish i could, well I was appreved on the 13th of Aug, that was the day my baby had to go back to the states so i guess some thing good happened that day its just a shame i didn't find out untill the 19th. better late than never, our status never changed either so we had no idea. well now on to medicals & stuff, hope all are well & congrats to those who are progessing, I can't believe its actually happening! WOOHOOOOOOoooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Great news Shewack!

I'm still 25 Aug 09 9:16 PM - Clearance delay - Guangzhou,China, People's Republic

[endoftheroad 1]

Does "till death do us part" ring a bell?

Yes, it was a British sitcom when I was a kid. Check out this article:

Some Seek Alternatives to 'Til Death Do Us Part'

In some weddings, "'til death do us part" is going the way of "to honor and obey" — that is, out the window.

Vows like "For as long as we continue to love each other," "For as long as our love shall last" and "Until our time together is over" are increasingly replacing the traditional to-the-grave vow — a switch that some call realistic and others call a recipe for failure.

"We're hearing that a lot — 'as long as our love shall last.' I personally think it's quite a statement on today's times — people know the odds of divorce," said New Jersey wedding expert Sharon Naylor (search), author of "Your Special Wedding Vows," who adds that the rephrasing is also part of a more general trend toward personalizing vows.

Naylor said killing the "death vow" doesn't mean that people don't take their marriage promises seriously. Quite the contrary.

"People understand that anything can happen in life, and you don't make a promise you can't keep. When people get divorced, they mourn the fact that they said ''til death do us part' — you didn't keep your word in church (if they had a church wedding). Some people are in therapy because they promised ‘til death do us part' — it is the sticking point in the healing of a broken marriage. The wording can give you a stigma of personal failure."

For those who have expressed interest in eliminating "'til death do us part," Naylor has suggested going with "For as long as our marriage shall serve the greatest good."

"You will promise to be loyal as long as love shall last — you don't want to promise 'when you treat me like #######,'" she said.

Indeed, actor Brad Pitt (search) caused a stir recently when he said he doesn't consider his marriage to actress Jennifer Aniston (search) a "failure."

"I see mine as a total success ... that's five more [years] than I made it with anyone else," he told W magazine.

But for others, nothing less than forever will do.

Newlywed Dana Novak Ranawat — a Virginia native who married in April, also nixed "'til death do us part" — but she went to the other extreme.

"We changed it to 'For all the days of our lives.' I didn't want us to say 'until death do us part.' I believe in heaven and that we will be together after we die. I kind of went the other way," said Ranawat, who is studying for her doctorate in psychology.

As for people who vow to stay married for as long as they love, rather than as long as they live, Ranawat said such a mind frame could be a detriment in the long run.

"People think 'we'll continue as long as it works and then we'll end it' — to me, that's going to make it end when it's unsuccessful. For us, this is the only time we're getting married and we'll make it work."

Dr. William Donohue, president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights (search), said to his knowledge, these new vows have yet to creep into the Catholic Church. And while an "innovative" priest might allow them, he said they "wouldn't get a sanction from Rome."

"It's a change for the worse. The 'death do us part' vow is really unconditional. Once you change it to 'as long as love shall last' or something of that nature, it's conditional. It's almost analogous to a prenuptial agreement — simply saying 'we hope it works out.' It goes against the grain of marriage."

Psychologist Diana Kirschner, author of "Opening Love's Door: The Seven Lessons," agreed with Ranawat and Donohue that promising forever lets the other person know that you're in it for life — good times and bad — and that promising just for a while can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy.

"Over time your mate brings out the best in you, but also the worst in you. You have to have a contract that you'll work together to help each other grow. A contract that is this kind of thing —as long as we feel good — there's a guarantee that you'll feel bad, hit a rocky point, where you don't love anyone, you don't love yourself — that's where the rubber meets the road. That's where active love comes through."

But Kirschner said she can understand why some people, especially children of divorce, would find it difficult to promise eternal love.

"I think there is an unconscious belief that love can't last if there is a model in one's family. You're probably going to get what you expect if you have very limited expectations."

But given the abundance of broken marriages in the U.S. today, some say limited expectations are simply realistic.

The Rev. Bonnie Nixon, a non-denominational minister in Torrance, Calif., who presides over approximately 1,000 weddings a year, said the specter of divorce is definitely reshaping vows.

"Some people were born in 1970 and they've already been married three or four times. At least half of the couples we marry come from blended families — some say vows to the other person's children. This generation (the one now marrying for the first time) grew up with a lot of divorce in the '70s and '80s. They have two dads, two moms, eight grandparents. They have divorce in mind — they're wary. It's just realism."

Nixon has even heard vows as extreme as "Until our time together is over" a couple of times.

"They don't really want to commit themselves to forever and ever type thing," she said.

In the case of "Until our time together is over," it was the groom's request, and Nixon said he was "leaving himself wide open."

"I think he was trying to be noncommittal in case it didn't work out — they didn't seem too terribly in love."

But why get married at all then? Nixon said it all comes down to tradition.

"The white dress — all of us girls were raised with that. We still want to do that and hope for the best. Men I think are going along for the ride. I think a lot of people feel 'We'll probably get 10 years out of it.'"

That's not to say that Nixon doesn't see the blushing bride of yore.

"There are also a lot of very starry-eyed people who cry tears when they say vows. It's very sweet. And we hope it lasts — there are so many outside forces on people today. I always hope for the best, though."

Indeed, Betsy Goldberg, features editor at Modern Bride magazine, said she's heard about the "as long as our love shall last" trend, but it's not the sentiment she's been seeing among her readers.

"The readers we have [are] still going into weddings saying 'this is forever.' The majority of people still want to go in believing forever and intending forever. I think [the rest] make up a small percentage."

Naylor said some people keep "'til death do us part" and other "scripted" vows because they want to keep tradition alive.

"They want to say the same words their parents spoke. Things the bride has been dreaming of saying since she was putting the pillowcase on her head. Even in the most personalized weddings, people usually have one element that is very traditional."

Naylor added that some people are canning "'til death do us part' simply because they don't want to mention such a bleak subject as death in their vows.

But other couples are taking their wedding vows less seriously than ever. At one recent wedding, officiated by Reverend Run of Run-DMC fame, the marrying couple swapped "for richer or poorer" for "for richer or richer."

And when it came time to exchange rings, Reverend Run said, "where's the bling?"

[James and Megan 0]

Sorry, way too long to read before work I will agree that there would probably be someone out there that would be offended by the mention of death at a wedding, but then again there could be people offended by eating meat at a wedding, wearing a white dress at a wedding etc. People love to find something to complaint about. If it's meaningful to the couple it should be embraced!

I don't know if polyglots tend to flock together, but since the song is in French, I don't think many people will notice

[endoftheroad 1]

... People love to find something to complaint about. If it's meaningful to the couple it should be embraced!

For instance, the world's most populated countries avoid mention of death at a wedding. Baaaaaaaaaaaad Luck! I agree that if the groom and bride want to, it's their choice. Just saying, because the USA does it doesn't make it proper for everyone.

.

Edited August 25, 2009 by endoftheroad

[Maverick64 0]

Received a 'new" NOA2 in the mail yesterday. Same case number of course, but with an NOA2 date of August 18th...guess I throw away the previous NOA2 with the July 24th date. Time to start calling NVC...AGAIN

[ashenflowers 5]

Received a 'new" NOA2 in the mail yesterday. Same case number of course, but with an NOA2 date of August 18th...guess I throw away the previous NOA2 with the July 24th date. Time to start calling NVC...AGAIN

??? That's just... odd.

[endoftheroad 1]

I have to keep this stuff for my book (now at 300 pages.... don't worry, you all are in it already).

NOA2 recap:

- Filed an address change

- Found out I got NOA2 by calling (a month after the address change filing) to make sure my address was correct in their system

- Never got the NOA2 letter or email

- Got a letter that said the NOA2 letter was returned as undeliverable

- Called to ask for the NOA2 letter

- Called again to ask for the NOA2 letter

- Got a letter with a referral ID saying that I have the NOA2 if I wanted a NOA2 letter I would have to apply for one ($300+) or file an appeal

- Got the NOA2 email saying I would get an NOA2 letter

Today I got a letter with a different referral ID saying that I will be sent the NOA2 letter within 10 days.

It is all so pencil-pusher.

Closing the NOA2 saga for me...

Today my lips touched an actual NOA2 letter that came in the mail from the DHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I actually cried. It wasn't the money saved, it was a physical reminder of the waiting. So much emotion in this process.

Tears are falling as I type this. I miss my girls so much. *sniffle*

[Maverick64 0]

Received a 'new" NOA2 in the mail yesterday. Same case number of course, but with an NOA2 date of August 18th...guess I throw away the previous NOA2 with the July 24th date. Time to start calling NVC...AGAIN

??? That's just... odd.

I know...I have never heard of this happening before. My original NOA2 approval was July 24th...even received the hardcopy of it. After waiting 24 days for NVC to receive, I conatcted my Congresswoman who contacted USCIS THAT DAY. The next day I happened to check my case on USCIS and it had a brand new date of August 18, and yesterday I received the new hardcopy with that date. I am guessing that they had missplaced our file and sent a new NOA2 to make up for the lost 24 days on the 4 month eligibility. Wierd though.

On the plus side...only 10 days now till I visit my SO again!