Anger Management

[Jaylen Brit 0]

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just

need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you

know, take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd

forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered,

saying Hello."

I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please

speak with Robyn Carter?"

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right

f**in number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't

believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's

correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally

transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong'

number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an ar*ehole!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'ar*ehole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every

couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd

call him up and yell, " You're an ar*ehole!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'ar*ehole'

calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi,

this is John Smith from the Telstra. I'm calling to see if you're

familiar with our Caller ID Program?"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're

an ar*ehole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a

parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the

spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd

been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a

For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first ar*ehole ( I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW ar*ehole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW

for sale?"

Yes, it is", he said.

"Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.

Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, in Vaucluse. It's a yellow

house, and the car's parked right out in front."

What's your name?" I asked.

"My name is Don Hansen," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

Don, you're an ar*ehole!" Then I hung up, and added his

number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two ar*eholes to call. Then

I came up with an idea. I called Ar*ehole #1.

Hello."

"You're an ar*ehole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

Are you still there?" he asked.

Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

Make me," I said.

Who are you?" he asked.

My name is Don Hansen."

Yeah? Where do you live?"

"Ar*ehole, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, a yellow

house, with my black Beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better

start saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, ar*ehole," and hung

up.

Then I called Ar*ehole #2. "Hello?" he said.

Hello, ar*ehole," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

You'll what?" I said.

I'll kick your ar*e," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, ar*ehole, here's your chance. I'm coming

over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying

that I lived at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way over

there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the

gang war going down in Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got

there just in time to watch two ar*eholes beating the cr*p out of each

other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

Anger management really works

[Lizzy 0]

hehehe

[Melo 1]

Hahahaahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This I shall purloin too

[MaryandMian 1]

[arwensun1965 0]

Now that was funny

[Cygnet 0]

[gimmie 0]

Hilarious!

[Aymerlu 3]

[Not Available 0]

that was awesome!!

[JenT 0]

I've seen this one before... worth reading again... I laughed out loud at the image in my head... thanks for the smile on a day that I needed one...

Jen

[almaty 19]

yeap..that is in the 3rd chapter of dean's anger management workbook