Anyone still remember me?

[RosaMystica7 0]

I just wanted to poke my head in and say hello, and see if any of my old friends are still here. I'm curious to see how everyone turned out, how many are still together, how they're doing. Does anyone still remember me?

In case anyone does... well, lol I remember saying I wouldn't leave VJ after my then-fiance got here but it just didn't work out that way. Life got so hectic once he was here, not only cuz of his arrival and getting used to living together and getting married, but because my dad died and then our financial situation got rocky, as did our marriage. Then we ended up moving from NY to FL, which made it even rockier. I won't get into details but it just got beyond the point of repair and we broke up in August, we'll get the divorce when I can afford to pay for it. I guess, stress tests a bond, and ours failed that test royally. LOL.

But yeah, in the hecticness, I AGAIN forgot to fill out my... dang I don't even remember what it's called... sponsor change of address thingy? It's like 7 months late! I've been late every single freakin time I've needed to fill that thing out. Anyone wanna re-assure me that they won't show up at my doorstep with a fine or handcuffs when I fill it out this time? Thanks.

And too, was my ex required to fill out a change of address when he left the country? What happens if I fill out my change of address and he doesn't?

Anyway... that was a mix of a... hello, introduction, seeking old friends, update, and question all in one shot. So. Kinda weird way to crash back into the forum but... I guess it works, lol.

[Saska+Tim 7]

I am sorry that things didn't work for you

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Hello! I had to read your personal story and then remembered you. I'm sorry about your marriage and the loss of your father. You are always welcome here for support.

[SuperDuper! 230]

Don't feel too bad, for better or for worse, statistically, half of ALL marriages in the USA end up in DIVORCE. And guess which half all couples believe they are in on their wedding day. You guessed it, the half that stays together forever. Itz only a fairy tale. Marriage is a FULL time profession. If you aint tryin', itz DYIN'. May your new life be merry and full.

[Krikit 1,164]

Hello! I had to read your personal story and then remembered you. I'm sorry about your marriage and the loss of your father. You are always welcome here for support.

I did the same. Read the personal story and remembered, that is. Like Steven says, I, too, am sorry about the breakup of your marriage and the loss of your father.

You're looking for Form I-865 Sponsor Change of Address. No, they won't hurt you for sending it in late.

As for your husband, I believe he needed to return his greencard and fill out some sort of abandonment of residency form when he left the country. But that's on him, not you, so I wouldn't worry too too much about it. I'm moving your thread over to the Effects of Major Family Changes forum so you can get some specific help on this matter.

All the best.

Edited March 31, 2009 by Krikit

[amberdima 6]

sorry things didn't work out. thanks for sharing!

[RosaMystica7 0]

Thanks for moving this Krikit, I've never been very good at forum placement here since I always just hung around in the K-1 section, occasionally hopping over to the France/America couples hang-out.

I'm glad to see a few people remember me! Haha. *waves*

Well, we did try. I pushed on for a year and a half. I kept trying to get him to go to counseling, he kept promising he would and not going. And I don't want to give too many details but... you know... sometimes you just need to realize that you married the wrong person, the marriage is only getting worse and worse, and even in some sad cases you need to realize that the marriage is dangerous and be honest with yourself about that. I was so hard on myself after I stepped up and broke off the marriage, but it was what needed to be done, and I know I've learned a lot for the next guy.

Anyway! Thanks for giving me the link to the I-865. I'm so nervous about filling it out, every single time I ever have, I've been months late. Now here I am 7 months late! My memory just sucks.

I have to forward my ex's tax info to him anyways, so if I'm supposed to let him know about some change of address that he's supposed to do, I'll tell him then. I mean, I don't want to be unfair, getting him into any government trouble or anything. Granted, it should be him that does his own research but hey, I was always the one doing the immigration research and telling him what we needed to get done so I may as well be that way til the absolute end.

[^KK^ 3]

I wish you the best

!!

[Maire 1]

WOW I do not remember you since I just started this process and just joined this amazing site. I am so sorry that it did not work out...which makes me wonder and hope it does not happen to me. However, realistically speaking is not the same thing to spend time with the significant other as to living 24/7 with that significant other. Things will definitely change!

[Kathryn41 3,205]

And too, was my ex required to fill out a change of address when he left the country? What happens if I fill out my change of address and he doesn't?

I find myself wondering if you do need to fill out the change of address notification. When your husband left the US he abandoned his green card and basically negated the sponsorship contract (affidavit of support) that you had with USCIS. You are no longer responsible for fulfilling the affidavit of support concerns, including notifying USCIS of changes of address. The only reason you as a US citizen would notify immigration of a change of address would be when you needed to advise them about changes to the Affidavit of Support address. The Affidavit of Support, however, is terminated when the sponsored individual leaves the country and abandons residency in the US. What I would do is notify them that since your husband has left the US and abandoned his residency that the contract is no longer valid and ask them to update their records to that effect.

I am sorry that the marriage didn't work out. You tried and that is all that anyone can do. Sometimes no matter how hard we try things just don't work the way we want them to. Good luck to you in the future.

[William33 110]

I now remember you, but I had to look up your older user-name....

Sorry to hear that things did not work out for you all, but it is good to see you posting here again.

The above advice is very solid and I hope everything gets resolved.

All the best.

[Lili 3]

I remember you from reading your posts in the french/american couples thread.

I am sorry to hear about your marriage. But at least you are positive about it.

I don't know about your husband but it is hard being married to a French. We are -what would be a good word- atypical?

I am French and sometimes, I step back and realize that my husband has a LOT of patience and understanding. We are just set in our ways, it has to do with "the old culture and how change is bad" mentality.

Good luck to you and *hugs*... come and say hi in our thread!

[minimule 3]

i wonder how my American fiance support me???

[William33 110]

i wonder how my American fiance support me???

minimule,

Visa Journey is a self help immigration site with the assistance of anecdotal experience of others.

Your post offers nothing in this framework. If you have nothing constructive to offer, do not post here.

Regards,

VJ Moderation

[RosaMystica7 0]

Ah William33 is a name that I recognized right away! I'm happy to see that you're a moderator now. The last Frenchie was just commenting on how hard living with a French can be, I believe. But yeah, my old username was aselano. We had been talking about how, when we got our religious wedding, we'd combine our last names into one new one and that was going to be it. Ah well.

Yes, being married to a French is very hard. I didn't think it would be, because Europeans and Americans have so much in common. But yes he had a very different mentality, which in time turned into a very condescending one. I heard a lot about "you stupid Americans" after he settled in. I'm not patriotic but I don't appreciate being called stupid or having my country that just welcomed him bashed, either. And just... so many things about his culture that he was SO SURE were right in his and SO SURE were wrong in mine, and I was like well can't we just respect each other's cultures and agree that we do things differently? We don't need right and wrong and blame and finger-pointing here. But no I always had to be wrong. Bah, anyway.

It'd be great if the sponsorship were void! My mom, the co-sponsor, would be relieved too. I didn't think it'd be over until his 2-year greencard expired, because with his greencard comes the ability to re-enter the country? It should be expiring in a few months, I think. Hmm. Maybe I should just write a letter stating that he left the country on such-and-such date with no intention to return and we're pending a divorce once I can afford to pay for it, and include the change of address just in case? Cover all my bases. I dunno.