pregnant, and complicated- need advice abt K-1

[morocco4ever 63]

I am not going to make extra work for the mods. So I will no longer address it here. If you choose to you will be talking to yourself.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I am not going to make extra work for the mods. So I will no longer address it here. If you choose to you will be talking to yourself.

I won't be talking to myself, but I stood up and faced you head on. I also didn't go running to a clique to insult you. You could have shown me the same respect.

Edited April 1, 2009 by Barza Woman

[William33 110]

Let's do the OP a favor and stay on topic here.

All other conversations should be taken to PM or offline.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

What is the topic? Cultural differences between east and west? Immigration? Morals? How people post? The piety of Muslim men? The promiscuity of western women? What we emphasize or not? Out of wedlock sex? Out of wedlock pregnancies? This thread seems to have brought up a lot of issues.

Edited April 1, 2009 by Barza Woman

[William33 110]

What is the topic? Cultural differences between east and west? Immigration? Morals? How people post? The piety of Muslim men? The promiscuity of western women? What we emphasize or not? Out of wedlock sex? Out of wedlock pregnancies? This thread seems to have brought up a lot of issues.

A link to the opening post:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...t&p=2790766

Edited April 1, 2009 by William33

[Sofiyya 1,687]

What is the topic? Cultural differences between east and west? Immigration? Morals? How people post? The piety of Muslim men? The promiscuity of western women? What we emphasize or not? Out of wedlock sex? Out of wedlock pregnancies? This thread seems to have brought up a lot of issues.

A link to the opening post:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...t&p=2790766

Will, please. Since when do we stay on point here? As it was said before, she asked MENA for advice, she got MENA advice. So true!

[William33 110]

What is the topic? Cultural differences between east and west? Immigration? Morals? How people post? The piety of Muslim men? The promiscuity of western women? What we emphasize or not? Out of wedlock sex? Out of wedlock pregnancies? This thread seems to have brought up a lot of issues.

A link to the opening post:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...t&p=2790766

Will, please. Since when do we stay on point here? As it was said before, she asked MENA for advice, she got MENA advice. So true!

I realize that threads often stray from the original topic, but sidebar arguments/debates? Is that fair to the OP and their original questions?

I am requesting that we support the OP and the questions posted.

[KittyPollitt 284]

you people are crazy... mdr

[Sofiyya 1,687]

you people are crazy... mdr

Compared to what?

[meowmeowmeow 1]

First, thank you to those who have given good advice... To answer some questions, I've known him a year, we were online friends first, his family is very supportive of us- while it may be a Muslim country, not every family is strict, (just like my family are Christmas and Easter Catholics, lol). I have dealt with men hunting for Green Cards in the past, and I know I'm not in that situation now, he is not pushing me to do any of this, and quite honestly I think the thought of living in America scares the ####### out of him, but he's willing to do it so that we can be together. I spoke to my immigration lawyer today, after this onslaught of negativity, and she told me that we should have no problems, as long as we can prove that our relationship is legitimate, that a child has no bearing on our situation, and nothing about our child need be included in our application. She did tell me that it would be best if I didn't take the baby to Morocco until we are married. Oh yes, and I am not due in the summer, I am due in late November. I can thank Maryland divorce law for making my marriage look alot longer than it was, I have to wait a year for it to be final, even though I only lived with him for a little less than 4 months, and I currently have no clue where he is. Really, I just want to move on with my life with someone whom I adore, and who was there for me as a dear friend when I went through the horror of a fraudulent marriage and subsequent uprooting of the life I was just starting to build, and who, thank God, I found later to be the love of my life. I'm terribly sorry if our actions have been offensive to anyone on this forum, I just thought I could find some kind of support here, perhaps I was wrong, perhaps I was right.

Thanks again.

i didn't read the entire thread. but wondering....

1) can you possibly put your stuff in storage, go there and live with him perhaps in a large city like casablanca, rabat, etc.? you can maybe do an islamic ceremony at least for the sake of your child and then hopefully after that marry legally? and then do DCF filing? is it possible for you to get financial support while you are there with all this? or even work from the Net somehow?

my main concern for you would be that you haven't fully understood him or know him that well, and that you may be in for a rude awakening....but at least maybe it's best for you to go there and at least figure out if this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with.

2) if you cannot do this, guess there's really no choice for you but to perhaps wait it out re your divorce, the birth, etc. perhaps you can conceal the birth of your child from his family if that is going to cause you guys a lot of grief. maybe that sounds really odd, but knowing how most people are in this part of the world re illegitimate births, you may need to think this out. but i guess if anything, you're due to wait for a long long time....maybe it's best to wait also after your divorce finalizes, go there, get married then come back and start the process....

i am not an expert on these topics, just someone else going through this nightmare, but hope that you sit down and think this through........best of luck to you.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

What is the topic? Cultural differences between east and west? Immigration? Morals? How people post? The piety of Muslim men? The promiscuity of western women? What we emphasize or not? Out of wedlock sex? Out of wedlock pregnancies? This thread seems to have brought up a lot of issues.

A link to the opening post:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...t&p=2790766

Will, please. Since when do we stay on point here? As it was said before, she asked MENA for advice, she got MENA advice. So true!

I realize that threads often stray from the original topic, but sidebar arguments/debates? Is that fair to the OP and their original questions?

I am requesting that we support the OP and the questions posted.

No, but it was the straightest route to travel between A and B. That's over anyway. At least for me, it is, so ok . Thanks, bro!

[Der Bücherwurm 1]

OP: Sorry for the sanctimonious, hypocritical and rude responses you've received. Religion has a way of making people point out the flaws in others so they can take the light off of their own shortcomings. The one's that say the baby won't help or hinder are probably correct. If it's true what you say that your marriage ended due to your husband's homosexuality and you only lived with him for the first 4 months of the marriage then you will want to mention that in your paperwork to prove that it wasn't your current SO that broke up the marriage.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Conversely, a lack of religion has a way of making people point out the flaws in others so they can take the light of their own shortcomings.

Edited April 1, 2009 by Barza Woman

[meowmeowmeow 1]

Wow.....some of you are pretty mean....not very deeni behavior.

Squeaky, how can you be sure he's not playing you out? Anyone can say I love you, but actions speak a lot more than words..and while I or no one else can know entirely what you guys have, emotions do tend to get in the way big time when it comes to particularly.... "delicate" scenarios.....have you considered the following?

1) What does he do re work in Morocco? Is he willing to learn a trade there at least that he can take with him to the US to support you and your unborn child? How does he financially support himself now? Is he willing to support you from Morocco until his paperwork goes through?

2) How long were you guys actually in contact before you went? Doesn't seem that long? I would have said at least wait a year or so or at least till your divorce cleared before you went out there...but since this is obviously something that doesn't matter now...

3) Sorry to ask, but did he make a move on you initially when you first met? That will also prove a lot in regards to his respect for you. Does he know that you're pregnant/give a damn about it? Have you talked about the possibility of him supporting his child even if you two don't work out?

4) I am sorry for what you're going through, and while it could have been prevented, you need to think first and foremost about yourself. You really should wait for your divorce to be finalized. and if your ex-hubby and you are on good terms, how about trying to get an affidavit from him stating his reasons for why you two aren't together anymore, paving the path for you and your Morrocan honey to be together? Might help.....

Cheers.

Edited April 1, 2009 by enraptured

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

To the OP: welcome to VJ and get ready for this crazy process.

I dont remember if it was mentioned or not but... If you file K1 that means you have to be engaged & not married to him.

If you file k3 that means you are married to your MENA fella. So, when you file plz make sure you file the correct one.

-Tamara