pregnant, and complicated- need advice abt K-1

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Frankly, I'm sick of non-Muslim women going to the ME to sleep with Muslim men they're not married to, and sick of the men who can't wait to get it on. It makes American women seem loose and exposes the Muslim men as less than pious.

Welcome to MENA.

Perhaps these "less than pious" men should be exposed as just that! Would their families be shocked to learn that they lost their virginity to a native prostitute and not the "loose American woman?" So much seems to be about appearances there ~ Welcome to MENA indeed...the land of contradictions

Or the land of hypocricy? The same ####### goes on there that goes on here, they just hide it better.

I don't remember the woman asking for morality advice. She was asking for immigration advice. I suggest people get off their high horses. Perhaps karma will come back and hit you on your a$$e$.

She got morality advice because she brought up a moral issue. High horses are great for not being low. If your a$$ ain't exposed, it's harder to hit.

Edited April 1, 2009 by Barza Woman

[doodlebugg 10]

Frankly, I'm sick of men who can't wait to get it on.

What if you found out that this is how you came into existence? Some soft lighting, romantic music, a glass of wine, a hot woman and an eager man, and *BAM*, here you are. Sorry dear, Itz what makes the world go 'round. Peace.

Conveniently taken out of context to suit your personal agenda.

Help me understand what your position is on the matter.

see below for answer

(sorry that one was left wide open )

If your a$$ ain't exposed, it's harder to hit.

[doodlebugg 10]

I know from Egypt that the situation you're in would make you a single mother because of the social stigma and laws involved.

Actually if she was living in Egypt she'd probably be honor killed by now.

doodle, why do you hate egypt?

I don't hate Egypt, Charles. I love parts of it and hate other parts of it. I love the passion that the people have when they talk about their country and the state that it's in right now and I love the closeness of the families and the amount of importance that they put on that but I don't like other things.

Anyway again I apologize for responding to Olivia. I tend to say whatever the heck I'm thinking at the moment lately. Terrets maybe? I dunno but that's the first thing that popped in my mind when Olivia mentioned what things would be like in Egypt. OT here now but I asked my husband tonight if what I said was wrong and he said that a lot of people are starting to accept this type of situation but of course not all are like that.

I think that if you really want to know the technical part of the visa process it's best to read the guides and maybe ask the questions in the K-1 forum when at all possible. I think I used to ask everything under the sun here and believe me I got ripped to shreds for it as well. In time you eventually learn to just take what you like and leave the rest. Everyone is going to have an opinion on information that is made public and they're not always going to blend with your opinion. In the mena section you will get answers to the k-1 questions but you'll also get a flavorful opinion or too about whatever situation you've made public. It's the risk you take in actually typing out your life on a public message board.

Honestly we're a great group of people, opinionated, terrets induced or not. (j/k) Another thing is that it's very hard to get someone's meaning by just reading words typed onto a screen. You totally miss the facial expressions, voice tone, etc.

If you don't want this thread to go on and on which it just might given our history here you just have to report the thread and ask for it to be closed and a moderator will do that for you. I wish you good luck not just on the visa journey but in rasing a child and in your pregnancy. I can only imagine what it must be like to be pregnant and away from the father of the child. Luckily there are a few women in here who have gone through it and can help you.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Good catch, doodle. That pretty much sums it up re that issue.

PS - One reason why Moroccans hide their ####### better is because they still have the notion of shame, something being rapidly lost in this country.

Edited April 1, 2009 by Barza Woman

[sara..... 371]

Damn, mena claws have surely come out. You guys are ready to stone her to death.

May I remind you that it takes 2 to tango, and the guy is just as responsible for the outcome as the OP is. But I dont see you guys throwing the stone at him. Also, does Muslim law look favorably on divorce? No. But yet many ladies here are on marriage #2, or 3, do you guys attack them?

When each of you visited your man, none had premarital relations? All those waiting 2 yrs on K1's to come through can speak up perhaps. I'm surprised at this attack, especially coming from this forum where everything goes.

Where's all this "mena love" you guys always say is present here?

well we are almost at the two year mark on k1 visa and i will tell u absolutely there has not been ANY premarital relations!!!

[morocco4ever 63]

I am so glad to see that some of you are so perfect that you can attack people that come here for advice. Can all of you say that you have not done or said something that is not condoned by Islam? Again, I reiterate, the same thing goes on there that goes on here, it is just hidden better. So stop pretending that it doesn't. So they have shame. So rather than hide it why don't they live what they preach?

I must say I am disappointed in the reaction here. It appears that you are all having a good time at someone's expense. She is going to have a tough enough road ahead without this. Kudos to you. You should all be very proud of yourselves.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

No one is pretending to be perfect, and we dont have to perfect to be honest. Some of the responses had a problem with delivery, but she does have a hard row to hoe, and denial about that is not helpful. There's no denying that what is acceptable here is not so much there, and when immigration scrutiny is involved, it's only magnified. No one can blame us for being somewhat skeptical about this situation. It's not the first one we've seen that raises suspicions.

Let's face it, most of us would wince if a friend in the states slept with a man she'd never seen before and got pregnant before they really knew each other well. Love may feel good, but it's not enough to sustain a budding relationship through pregnancy, separation and developing a rapport. The kind of advice we would give our friend going thru this would not be "well, they do it in Morocco, too, but just hide it better." That's not the point. There are red flags involved. Some of us ignored them, some pointed them out. I'll be darned if I'm going to feel bad about pointing them out. I'm not an enabler. The enablers can do that just fine.

Edited April 1, 2009 by Barza Woman

[morocco4ever 63]

No one is pretending to be perfect, and we dont have to perfect to be honest. Some of the responses had a problem with delivery, but she does have a hard row to hoe, and denial about is not helpful. There's no denying that what is acceptable here is not so much there, and when immigration scrutiny is involved, it's only magnified.

Let's face it, most of us would wince if a friend in the states slept with a man she'd never seen before and got pregnant before they really knew each other well. Love may feel good, but it's not enough to sustain a budding relationship through pregnancy, separation and developing a rapport. The kind of advice we would give our friend going thru this would not be "well, they do it in Morocco, too, but just hide it better." That's not the point. There are red flags involved. Some of us ignored them, some pointed them out. I'll be darned if I'm going to feel bad about pointing them out. I'm not an enabler. The enablers can do that just fine.

If you had said it in those words it would have been taken better. And I myself believe there is no need to sugar coat anything. Of course she is going to have a rough road. I wouldn't want to be in her shoes, and of course I wouldn't be because I already knew how things work there. I just don't think making her the object of ridicule was necessary. Spelling out the difficulties, leaving out the judgment, would have been sufficient to get the point across.

Anyway I don't think she will be back, and I can't say I blame her. Sometimes some of the women here can be so harsh.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I didn't say anything harshly to her, and also wished her well more than once.

I can speak only for myself, but I am tired of the drama the more impulsive among us generate. I can't say I will regret it if we provided a detour for more.

Edited April 1, 2009 by Barza Woman

[Sofiyya 1,687]

BTW, M4E, anything you have to say about me on Expats, you can say to me here. I know who you meant. Don't be two-faced about it and go running to your little friends over there to trash me.

Edited April 1, 2009 by Barza Woman

[morocco4ever 63]

BTW, M4E, anything you have to say about me on Expats, you can say to me here. I know who you meant. Don't be two-faced about it and go running to your little friends over there to trash me.

I know you read over there. If you would like you can address it over there.

Edited April 1, 2009 by morocco4ever

[SuperDuper! 230]

Good catch, doodle. That pretty much sums it up re that issue.

PS - One reason why Moroccans hide their ####### better is because they still have the notion of shame, something being rapidly lost in this country.

I want my Mummy!!!!

[Sofiyya 1,687]

BTW, M4E, anything you have to say about me on Expats, you can say to me here. I know who you meant. Don't be two-faced about it and go running to your little friends over there to trash me.

I know you read over there. If you would like you can address it over there.

It's never been a secret. I also read here, too, so if you have something to say, feel free. I'm not shy.

It started over here, it can be dealt with over here. I don't need filthy words to make a point.

Edited April 1, 2009 by Barza Woman

[William33 110]

BTW, M4E, anything you have to say about me on Expats, you can say to me here. I know who you meant. Don't be two-faced about it and go running to your little friends over there to trash me.

A reminder that information and/or issues brought over from other websites, is against the Visa Journey Terms of Service (TOS).

Please refrain from referencing activities on other websites going forward.

Regards,

VJ Moderation

[Sofiyya 1,687]

BTW, M4E, anything you have to say about me on Expats, you can say to me here. I know who you meant. Don't be two-faced about it and go running to your little friends over there to trash me.

A reminder that information and/or issues brought over from other websites, is against the Visa Journey Terms of Service (TOS).

Please refrain from referencing activities on other websites going forward.

Regards,

VJ Moderation

This issue started here and was exported. It needs to end here.