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MGA BISAYA...ATO NI BAY......

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sweet_wifey22 Community Regular

sweet_wifey22   0

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted

makawala mani sa kala-ay oi! Thank you sa pag post " Bituin"

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F23 Enthusiast

F23   0

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted
Food for the rich - SUTOKIL (SUgba, TOla, KInilaw)

Food for the poor - GIPUSIL (GInamos, PUso, SILi)

Food for the very poor - GITUOK (GInamos,

giTUngtungan sa

OK-OK!!)

*******************

PANAWAGAN SA RADIO :

Mrs : Sir, pwede ko manawag sa akong bana sa radyo?

Gidala among lima ka anak.

Announcer : Go ahead, Misis.

Mrs : Hoy, amaw! I-uli ang mga bata! Usa ra imo ana!

Bagag nawong!

*******************

PASIYENTE: Dok, ngano gasakit man akong dughan kada

inom nako ug Coke? Pero kung libre, dili lagi mosakit?

DOK : Ah, kabalo na ko ana. Nipis imong baga, pero baga

imong nawong !!!

********************

BOY : Sir, apply unta ko pagka-boy.

AMO : Sige, bahugan nimo ang iro kada buntag ug hotdog,

corn beef ug chorizo.

BOY : Kining Sir, apply nalang ko pagka-iro

*********************

GUEST to Motel Receptionist: Tagpila room ninyo diri?

RECEPTIONIST : Depende Sir. Special or Deluxe nga room?

GUEST : Unsa man kalainan ?

RECEPTIONIST : Ang Special, naay masahista ug TV.

Ang Deluxe, naay TB ang

masahista!!

***********************

wahhhh lingaw kaayo ko sa imong joke! gimingaw nako sa radyo nga super gitik da!

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vAYw-19t.jpg?height=640&scale=max&width=640

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-B&T- Proficient

-B&T-   1

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (pnd) Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted

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name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="
" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="445" height="364"></embed></object>

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alienlovechild Mentor

alienlovechild   75

Posted
Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted

I like this thread. For the OP, :thumbs: Ang dili kasabot sa binisaya...hilom nalang mo

More jokes para sa mga guapa nga bisaya...Ok, brace yourself ;-)

bana: may dako ko nga problema.

asawa: ayaw isulti nga IMO lang na, problema NATO tungod kay naghigugmaay man ta.karon, unsa ang problema NATO?

bana: nabuntis NATO si Inday ug KITA ang amahan..

Customer: Day, kape.

Tindera: Tag P10 na ra ba.

Customer: Diba tag P8 ra na?

Tindera: Nimahal naman gud ang gasolina.

Customer: Ah, ayaw na lang butangig gasolina!

AMO: inday gipatotoy na nimo ang bata?

Maid: Yes mam! gipatotoy na.

Amo: Ang sir nimo ningkaon na?

Maid: Naah! mam, dili man mukaon si sir, gipatotoy na lng pud nako.

BISAYA: Pabili nga ng lemoncito.

TINDERA: Anong lemoncito?

BISAYA: Lemoncito gud.. yong maliit na buongon!

TEACHER: give me a tag question.

PUPIL: My teacher is beautiful, isn't she?

TEACHER: Very good! Ibinisaya dong.

PUPIL: Ang akong maestra gwapa, wa sya kuyapi?

bana: love, promise sugod karon di na tika luiban. ako nang biyaan ang akong kabit

asawa: wow, tenk you love, ako sad promise, ang sunod natong anak, ikaw nay amahan. promise jud!

customer: miss, papalita ko ug condom kay birthday sa akong gf

tindera: e-gift wrap pa bani sir?

customer: ayaw na kay mao man nay wrapper sa akong gift

anak: ma, busog nako, dili nako mahurot

mama: hutda dyud na! kabaw baka nga daghan gipang gutom sa kalibutan?

anak: nya kung ako ni hutdon, mabusog sila?!

pasyente: doc, regular lagi ko malibang. kada alas 7 sa buntag

doctor: maayu nuon na! unsa may problema?

pasyente: 8 am man gud ko maka mata!

bana: gang, naka-save ko ug 6.00 karon kay ako na man gigukod ang jeep, wala man ko mu sakay

asawa: bogo! taxi unta imung gigukod aron mas dako imong na-save

ATTY: asa ka pagkahitabo sa rape?

JUN: sa kamaisan

ATTY: nag-unsa ka didto?

JUN: nalibang!

ATTY: pila ka kadupa gikan sa krimen?

JUN: naa bay malibang magdupa-dupa?….

David & Lalai

th_ourweddingscrapbook-1.jpg

aneska1-3-1-1.gif

Greencard Received Date: July 3, 2009

Lifting of Conditions : March 18, 2011

I-751 Application Sent: April 23, 2011

Biometrics: June 9, 2011

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dzyrhetom Enthusiast

dzyrhetom   7

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted
I like this thread. For the OP, :thumbs: Ang dili kasabot sa binisaya...hilom nalang mo

More jokes para sa mga guapa nga bisaya...Ok, brace yourself ;-)

bana: may dako ko nga problema.

asawa: ayaw isulti nga IMO lang na, problema NATO tungod kay naghigugmaay man ta.karon, unsa ang problema NATO?

bana: nabuntis NATO si Inday ug KITA ang amahan..

Customer: Day, kape.

Tindera: Tag P10 na ra ba.

Customer: Diba tag P8 ra na?

Tindera: Nimahal naman gud ang gasolina.

Customer: Ah, ayaw na lang butangig gasolina!

AMO: inday gipatotoy na nimo ang bata?

Maid: Yes mam! gipatotoy na.

Amo: Ang sir nimo ningkaon na?

Maid: Naah! mam, dili man mukaon si sir, gipatotoy na lng pud nako.

BISAYA: Pabili nga ng lemoncito.

TINDERA: Anong lemoncito?

BISAYA: Lemoncito gud.. yong maliit na buongon!

TEACHER: give me a tag question.

PUPIL: My teacher is beautiful, isn't she?

TEACHER: Very good! Ibinisaya dong.

PUPIL: Ang akong maestra gwapa, wa sya kuyapi?

bana: love, promise sugod karon di na tika luiban. ako nang biyaan ang akong kabit

asawa: wow, tenk you love, ako sad promise, ang sunod natong anak, ikaw nay amahan. promise jud!

customer: miss, papalita ko ug condom kay birthday sa akong gf

tindera: e-gift wrap pa bani sir?

customer: ayaw na kay mao man nay wrapper sa akong gift

anak: ma, busog nako, dili nako mahurot

mama: hutda dyud na! kabaw baka nga daghan gipang gutom sa kalibutan?

anak: nya kung ako ni hutdon, mabusog sila?!

pasyente: doc, regular lagi ko malibang. kada alas 7 sa buntag

doctor: maayu nuon na! unsa may problema?

pasyente: 8 am man gud ko maka mata!

bana: gang, naka-save ko ug 6.00 karon kay ako na man gigukod ang jeep, wala man ko mu sakay

asawa: bogo! taxi unta imung gigukod aron mas dako imong na-save

ATTY: asa ka pagkahitabo sa rape?

JUN: sa kamaisan

ATTY: nag-unsa ka didto?

JUN: nalibang!

ATTY: pila ka kadupa gikan sa krimen?

JUN: naa bay malibang magdupa-dupa?….

hala oy, hala man lang ta ug ngislit ani, makalingaw jud ayo .....pawala sa kalaay ug sa katugnaw bah..hahahaha

GO GO GO MGA BISDAK !!!

07-07-08 - filed I-129f and sent it to VSC

08-25-08 - NOA1

12-10-08 - hard copy of NOA2 rec'd

12-17-08 - NVC received our case

12-18-08 - 02-03-09---- stuck at NVC

02-04-09 - NVC RELEASED/FORWARDED OUR CASE TO USEM, AT LAST!!!

02-11-09 - USEM received the hard copy of packet 3..

02-18-09 - Medical at SLEC...THANKS GOD, I PASSED !!!

03-04-09 - Interview @ USEM,VISA APPROVED!!! ( His WILL for us)

03-10-09 - Visa delivered(on hand).......@ 11:00 am

03-14-09 - FLYING time! >>03-14-09 ( US time @ 1 p.m) Arrived ...POE: DETROIT <<

MAY 17, 2009 - MARRIED !!!

AOS

11-03-09 - Mailed the AOS package

11-05-09 - Status Delivered to Chicago Lockbox

11-12-09 - Check Cashed (Online Banking)

11-13-09 - NOA's for I-485, I-765 , I-131

11-23-09 - Received Bio appt. notice

12-03-09 - Bio appt. Done @ memphis...Hassle free

12-21-09 - Touched (online status says that case was transferrred to CSC)

12-30-09 - Touched online (I-765 & I-131 Approved)

01-04-10 - I-131 Approval Notice rec'd

01-11-10 - EAD card rec'd..Yehey! & Apply for SSN ..02-22-10 - Finally got the SSN card

03-05-10 -Card prod. ordered

03-12-10 - GREEN CARD on hand

ROC- I-751

01-19-12- Sent the packet to Vermont Service Center

01-23-12- Cash the checked (2 yr GC expires on this day too),  01-28-12- NOA 1 received

02-28-12- NOA2 received -bio appt for 04-03

04-03-12- Biometrics done on this day

02-22-13- RFE rec'd & -02-28-13- RFE responded

03-14-13- Checked online status and it states: APRROVED!

~~NATURALIZED US CITIZEN on 10/23/2015~~

Mom's JOURNEY  : 12-29-17: I-130 petition sent to Chicago lockbox

1-03-18- Got a text & email from USCIS that application was received

1-08-18- rec'd hard copy NOA1 - I797,   7-02-18- I-130 petition for Mom approved- YAY!

08-23-18: Received an email from NVC with the case number MNL..Also paid the fees (AOS & IV)

10/16/18- Submitted all docs via CEAC, 10/25/18- Received an email stating " Case Completed/Documetary Qualified"

11/9/18: Received an email from NVC stating interview date,12/3/18: INTERVIEW DATE

 

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mikeuday19 Enthusiast

mikeuday19   0

Posted
Filed: AOS (apr) Timeline
Posted

nyemas natawa ko dun ah :rofl:

Why Do I Love To Cook?

I love to make people happy and amazingly enough nothing can put a big satisfied smile on someones face after a good hearty meal. That's why I love to cook.

Pinoy Recipe

K-1 Visa

Service Center : Vermont Service Center

Consulate : Manilla, Philipines

I-129F Sent : 06/23/08

I-129F NOA1 : 07/03/08

Touched: 07/01/08

Touched: 07/11/08

Touched: 10/09/08 NOA2

NOA2 hard copy: 10/18/08

I-129F left NVC: 10/16/08

NVC letter: 10/21/08

USEM received the papers: 10/23/08

Physical exam at SLEC: 11/06-07/08 - Passed

Appointment letter received: 11/10/08

Interview schedule: 11/14/08 - Passed

Visa Received : 11/22/2008... thank God...

US Entry : 12/03/2008

Marriage : 02/14/2008

POE: Guam

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John&Juvy Collaborator

John&Juvy   36

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted
Food for the rich - SUTOKIL (SUgba, TOla, KInilaw)

Food for the poor - GIPUSIL (GInamos, PUso, SILi)

Food for the very poor - GITUOK (GInamos,

giTUngtungan sa

OK-OK!!)

*******************

PANAWAGAN SA RADIO :

Mrs : Sir, pwede ko manawag sa akong bana sa radyo?

Gidala among lima ka anak.

Announcer : Go ahead, Misis.

Mrs : Hoy, amaw! I-uli ang mga bata! Usa ra imo ana!

Bagag nawong!

*******************

PASIYENTE: Dok, ngano gasakit man akong dughan kada

inom nako ug Coke? Pero kung libre, dili lagi mosakit?

DOK : Ah, kabalo na ko ana. Nipis imong baga, pero baga

imong nawong !!!

********************

BOY : Sir, apply unta ko pagka-boy.

AMO : Sige, bahugan nimo ang iro kada buntag ug hotdog,

corn beef ug chorizo.

BOY : Kining Sir, apply nalang ko pagka-iro

*********************

GUEST to Motel Receptionist: Tagpila room ninyo diri?

RECEPTIONIST : Depende Sir. Special or Deluxe nga room?

GUEST : Unsa man kalainan ?

RECEPTIONIST : Ang Special, naay masahista ug TV.

Ang Deluxe, naay TB ang

masahista!!

***********************

:rofl: That's funny ! LOL but it made me miss my parents more in our province in leyte.

SzIKm4.png
4202e493-922b-4a14-a1b7-438a49a69f71_zps0b740bfd-4829-475c-92b2-ceedfc991843_zps

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.

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spartan Community Regular

spartan   2

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted

i check ni nga link: puro ni bisayang kataw anan

K1 Process:
April 22, 2008 I-129F NOA1
Aug. 25, 2008 I-129F NOA2
Aug. 28, 2008 NVC left
Sept. 09, 2008 Consulate received
Sept. 16, 2008 Appointment notice received
Sept. 23, 2008 Filed Jap. police clearance
Sept. 24-25, 2008 Medical exam Done. Thank God I'm healthy
Oct. 03, 2008 Interview date
Nov. 11, 2008 Got a call from Jap. Embassy PC ready for pick up
Nov. 13, 2008 Picked up and submitted the Police clearance to USEM
Nov. 28, 2008 Visa is ready for delivery
Dec. 02, 2008 Visa in transit to Cebu (delayed bcuz Dec. 1 was holiday)
Dec. 03, 2008 Visa received abot na jud tawn Thank you Lord.
Dec. 08, 2008 POE Hawaii, Honolulu
Dec. 09, 2008 Got married (wedding and honeymoon in Hawaii)
Dec. 12, 2008 Newly wed couple flew to SFO, CA

AOS Process:
Feb. 04, 2009 USCIS received AOS docs.
Feb. 12, 2009 NOA received (AOS and EAD)
Feb. 13, 2009 Biometrics appointment received
Feb. 25, 2009 Biometrics schedule (10 AM) San Francisco DONE
March 14, 2009 Received interview schedule
April 11, 2009 Received EAD card
April 21, 2009 Interview (APPROVED) (2 months 17 days from filing)

April 28, 2009 Welcome Letter received
May 2, 2009 GREEN CARD received (2 months and 29 days)
May 22, 2009 Filed SSN
May 24, 2009 Got SSN at SSA
June 11, 2009 SSN Card received in mail

Naturalization

April 30, 2013 N-400 mailed (i used regular mail not express)

May 3, 2013 NOA priority date (received in mail 05/09/13)
May 8, 2013 Check cashed out, received text and email (N-400 accepted)

May 31, 2013 Biometrics

June 4, 2013 In Line

June 6, 2013 Received email and text N400 has been scheduled
June 10, 2013 Received letter in mail
July 16, 2013 Interview @3:30pm SFO

qlko09mo73vl.png

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foreverlove Explorer

foreverlove   0

Posted
Filed: K-3 Visa Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted
panuhuton man sad atong lagos ani ug kinatawa :lol::lol:

hahahahahhaha makatawa ko :dance::dance: dili lang pud cge tag serious diri samtang nag paabot sa result!!! :thumbs:

for those who dont understand sorry were just joking here sometimes...hehehehehe

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star1207 Contributor

star1207   2

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted

makalingaw! makakatawa ta bisan nag inusara ha ha ha... pawala sa kalaay...

AOS from K3
07/05/2011 – AOS Package Sent (USPS Express Mail)
07/06/2011 – USCIS Received Package (Signed for by J C)
07/11/2011 – Got a text message and email from USCIS

07/11/2011 – Check Cashed

07/12/2011 - Touched
07/16/2011 – Hard Copy NOA1 for AOS & EAD (dated 07/10/2011)
07/18/2011 – Received Biometrics Letter (Scheduled for 08/10/2011)
07/26/2011 – Successful Biometrics Walk-in
08/04/2011 - RFE (according to USCIS website)
08/08/2011 - RFE Received in the mail
09/15/2011 - RFE Response
09/16/2011 - RFE Received by NBC (Signed for by M Sievers)
09/20/2011 - RFE Response Review
10/11/2011 - Interview Letter Received
10/19/2011 - EAD Card Production (Yehey!)
10/27/2011 - EAD in the mail (Thanks God!)
10/28/2011 - Applied SSN
11/03/2011 - Received my SSN!
11/14/2011 - Interview. GC Approved! Card Production Ordered!(Thanks God!)
11/18/2011 - Post Decision Activity (according to USCIS website)
11/21/2011 - GC in hands!!! (Permanent Resident) (Very Happy!!!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

N-400 Citizenship

Eligibility: 3 Years
Window Open: 08/16/2014

08/20/2014 - N-400 Sent to Lewisville, TX (USPS Express Mail) (Day 1)

08/21/2014 - Delivered signed for by P Carney (Day 2)

08/26/2014 - Received email case has been accepted / Check cashed (Day 7)

08/30/2014 - Received NOA (Day 11)

09/06/2014 - Received Biometrics Letter (Day 18)

09/16/2014 - Biometrics (Day 28)

10/04/2014 - Received Yellow Letter (Day 46)

10/14/2014 - In Line for Interview (Day 56)

10/16/2014 - Scheduled for Interview (Day 58)

10/20/2014 - Received Interview Letter (Day 62)
11/20/2014 - Interview and Oathtaking (Day 93)

Thanks God! I am now a U.S. Citizen
IOlum4.png

OEnlm4.png

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lovers0720 Collaborator

lovers0720   1

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted
:rofl: hastang lingawa! nahimuot jud ko pag-ayo! salamat sa pagpost ha!

Feb 07 - met my Dream Guy

Jun 08 - arrived in the US

Jul 08 - ♥♥♥ WEDDING DAY ♥♥♥

Jul 09 - Temp GC received

Mar 12 - 10 yr GC received

Aug 13 - Naturalized

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lovers0720 Collaborator

lovers0720   1

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted

Naa pud koy i-share! :thumbs:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sa pharmacy....

Boy: Miss, palit kog kondom.

Tindera: Sayz sir.

Boy: (gihinay ang tingog pahunghung) hmmmmm...small lang miss

Tindera: Dili sir, kbaw ko gamay kag otin, ako pasabot tag sayz pesos ang usa ba..

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mare 1: Grabe na jud ko ka kalimtanon oi, misaka gani ko ug hagdan, mo-hunong ko kay malimot ko kung paingon bako taas o sa ubos.

Mare 2: Ako? Simbako lang...(with matching knock 3 times on wood), dili jud ko limtanon. Excuse me sa ha kai murag naay nanuktok!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Boy: Blesses me father for i have sinned....

Pari: Go ahead my son...

Boy: Nanglili ko ug babae, naligo man tu cya, kita iyang dughan, daku kaayo ug totoy, puti kaayo ug paa, nya gahubo ug panty...

Pari: Unsa pa?

Boy: Wa na kay ni-brown out man.

Pari: Atay ning Meralco oi!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wife: Gikan nasad ka sa imong kabit nuh? Unya nag 69 mo!

Bana: (Nakurat kay tinuod man) Ngano man naay bolbol akong baba?

Wife: Wa man imong ilong naay TAE! Amaw!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After sex with a college girl...

Mayor: Hmmmmm how much?

Girl: P200 pesos lang sir.

Mayor: What? how can you live with P200 pesos?

Girl: Ay sir, sideline ra ni nako, blackmail man jud ako business...bantay ka ni mam ha?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Titser: Class, what are the different colors of bananas?

Juan: Mam, green, yellow, red, and brown.

Titser: Gago jud ka, naa bay brown nga saging?

Juan: Gaga sad ka, ang linung-ag diay piki na!?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sexy girl nangumpisal. ..

Pari: Iha, unsa may imong sala?

Girl: Father, ug makabati kog lalaki nga mamalikas, di nako mapugngan makig-sex niya!

Pari: Buang, ka leche gud anang sala-a, peste! Ataya nuh!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lola: Honey, nabantayan jud nako bah nga kung mangape ta, mag-init dayon akong lawas.

Lolo: Nganong dili manginit, tan-awa ra gud na imong totoy, natuslob na sa kape!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maayo unta nga ngalingaw mo kay nalingaw jud ko! :rofl:

Feb 07 - met my Dream Guy

Jun 08 - arrived in the US

Jul 08 - ♥♥♥ WEDDING DAY ♥♥♥

Jul 09 - Temp GC received

Mar 12 - 10 yr GC received

Aug 13 - Naturalized

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